Conversations with my mother

tamarakay · Post by **tamarakay** » Fri Jun 05, 2015 9:45 am

This one is between me and my 4 year old grand daughter. She's a pill.

I've been trying to figure out how to write this up. It's only funny if you know how she pronounced it. So I will write what she said but in parenthesis how she said it.
Me: Do you want a piece of chocolate?
Lillian: Definately (defnutwhee)
Me: defnutwhee?
Lillian: Not how you say it MiMi, like this definately (defnutwhee)
Me: defnutwhee
Lillian: Def
Me: Def
Lillian: Inat (nut)
Me: nut
Lillian: ly (whee) defnutwhee with an L like in Lillian (wilian)
Me: Defnutwhee Willan
Lillian: <sigh> Oh Mimi, you are a precious pill (pewcious peeull). Do not say that word in public (pubwic)
Me: ok

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Fri Jun 05, 2015 10:02 am

tamarakay wrote:This one is between me and my 4 year old grand daughter. She's a pill.

I've been trying to figure out how to write this up. It's only funny if you know how she pronounced it. So I will write what she said but in parenthesis how she said it.
Me: Do you want a piece of chocolate?
Lillian: Definately (defnutwhee)
Me: defnutwhee?
Lillian: Not how you say it MiMi, like this definately (defnutwhee)
Me: defnutwhee
Lillian: Def
Me: Def
Lillian: Inat (nut)
Me: nut
Lillian: ly (whee) defnutwhee with an L like in Lillian (wilian)
Me: Defnutwhee Willan
Lillian: <sigh> Oh Mimi, you are a precious pill (pewcious peeull). Do not say that word in public (pubwic)
Me: ok

ROFLMAOITIMHPAL

tamarakay · Post by **tamarakay** » Fri Jun 05, 2015 8:52 pm

This one happened when Lillian was 3. Lillian's mommy was talking with a very pregnant friend.

Lillian: Why is your tummy so big?
Friend: Because there is a baby growing in there.

Lillian looked concerned. Then she patted her mommy's tummy,

Lillian: This one is only for making Lillian's.

Rice · Post by **Rice** » Sat Jun 06, 2015 12:10 pm

About a week before my 3rd burn I went up to visit my folks and pick up their trailer that I was going to take to the burn. We had a pretty normal visit, they then mentioned that they had watched a documentary on Burning Man (BURNING MAN: BEYOND BLACK ROCK)- which opened a discussion on the whole event, what I get from it, what I do, etc... At one point my Mom looks at me with a serious expression on her face and said "Rice, When you are at Burning Man please do not be naked on the documentary!" so ... I looked her in the eyes and replied: "Ok, Mom. I will not be naked {pause} in the documentary". I then told her that I could not necessarily guarantee that I would not be naked, but that I would try not to knowingly get filmed in that state.

A few months before my first burn I was telling my folks about my BM plans - and my father basically issued an order that I was NOT ALLOWED to go to Vegas and gamble my money away. I honestly told him that I would not - and then went to Burning Man anyhow. My next visit was a bit frosty! Both my parents noticed a subtle change in me. The burn had done something positive to me, which was apparently obvious to them. ( i had already figured this out, and was making plans for the next year's burn.) After that I noticed a more positive level of support from my folks. They see that I benefit from the experience.

It has taken decades to sync with my parents. I have realized that I am pretty lucky to have my parents support. That the more I do which is right for me the happier they are for me.

tamarakay · Post by **tamarakay** » Thu Jun 25, 2015 6:08 pm

During bath time.
Lillian: I know I was inside mommy's tummy, but how did I get out?
Me: Well (thinking CRAP, why can't she ask her mommy these things) You actually grown inside a part of your mommy's tummy called a uterus. The uterus is attached to a tube like thing called a vagina. When you are big enough the uterus squeezes really hard and pushes you out the tube.
Lillian: So she pooped me out?
Me: Well, no. you didn't come out where your poop comes out.
Lillian: Where I pee?
Me: No, inbetween those in your girlie private parts.
Lillian: (bends down and looks between her legs, looks at me quizzically) Mimi is this what happens in this world? Not the pretend world, THIS world.
Me: Yes.
Lillian: I'm too little to think about this.

Aurelia · Post by **Aurelia** » Thu Jun 25, 2015 7:15 pm

OH how I LOVE Lillian !

and you of course

xoA.

tamarakay · Post by **tamarakay** » Sat Jul 11, 2015 6:56 pm

Visiting the oldest son and his kiddies. At breakfast this morning;

Me: Tripp, would you like some eggs?
Tripp: I only like eggs mixed up in things.
Me: you mean scrambled?
Tripp: no, I mean like in cheesecake.

goathead · Post by **goathead** » Sun Jul 26, 2015 12:03 am

your stories are priceless

tamarakay · Post by **tamarakay** » Sun Jul 26, 2015 6:11 am

Getting out of the shower and Lillian comes running in

Lillian: hey your nipples are bigger than mommies
Me: good to know
Lillian: and yours point down, mommies point up.
Me: <sigh>
Lillian: I bet babies like yours better
Me: I'm a bit scared to ask, but why so?
Lillian: cause they can just open their mouth and there they are. They don't have to hold up their head to eat.
Me: shouldn't you be outside or something?

southern crone · Post by **southern crone** » Mon Jul 27, 2015 1:33 am

Ha, ha, ha, too cute.

tamarakay · Post by **tamarakay** » Mon Jul 27, 2015 8:36 am

At a convenience store Lillian spies a very pregnant woman in the parking lot

Lillian: do you think she knows about that whole bagina thing?
Me: I'm pretty sure she does.
Lillian: do you think we should warn her?
Me: yes, absolutely we should.

Sadly she got in her car and drove away before Lillian could warn her about the bagina thing.

tamarakay · Post by **tamarakay** » Mon Aug 10, 2015 6:25 pm

...or how my grandson got his middle name:

Me: hey mom, the kids are thinking of using your dads name for the baby's middle name. Was jake short for Jacob?
Mom: no. It is short for jake-legged drunk.
Me: um, what? All I've never heard anyone call him anything but jake. I thought he was jake gilley.
Mom: no. They started calling him jake when he was a teenager.
Me: I never saw him drink.
Mom: you were a child.
Me: ok, so what is his real name,
Mom: Henry.
Me: well, that's good to know.

So my grandson is Conner Henry. We like it better anyway.

lucky420 · Post by **lucky420** » Mon Aug 10, 2015 6:36 pm

And a fine name it is!

caffeineslinger · Post by **caffeineslinger** » Mon Aug 10, 2015 7:08 pm

jake leg: a paralysis caused by drinking improperly distilled or contaminated liquor

I learn so much here.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Mon Aug 10, 2015 8:22 pm

tamarakay wrote:...or how my grandson got his middle name:

Me: hey mom, the kids are thinking of using your dads name for the baby's middle name. Was jake short for Jacob?
Mom: no. It is short for jake-legged drunk.
Me: um, what? All I've never heard anyone call him anything but jake. I thought he was jake gilley.
Mom: no. They started calling him jake when he was a teenager.
Me: I never saw him drink.
Mom: you were a child.
Me: ok, so what is his real name,
Mom: Henry.
Me: well, that's good to know.

So my grandson is Conner Henry. We like it better anyway.

regal.

tamarakay · Post by **tamarakay** » Mon Aug 10, 2015 8:29 pm

Almost Nordic

Lonesomebri · Post by **Lonesomebri** » Mon Aug 10, 2015 11:45 pm

My parents are both dead now. Growing up, they were very very religious. Bible believing conservative Christians. I went to services about 3 times a week and until I was 17 every New Years Eve was spent at church. My father had graduated from a theology university and was ordained, though he never had a church. He was a bible salesman, a truck driver, a teacher, a ne’er do well just like his kid. My mom grew up in a town run by the church, Zion, Illinios. I never saw her touch a book other than the Bible that wasn’t some version of “How to be a better wife thru prayer”. Once the kids were all out of the house, divisions grew and my parents split, their faith and beliefs having to conform and grow.

For the holidays I would return to Michigan to visit and spend several days with my mother in her 2 bedroom apartment sitting up late talking. One night we talked politics. I tried to explain to her how I felt about how things are run and why I felt that way. With the resigned worry of a mother she sighed and said “I just hope you aren’t going to go somewhere and join some communist revolution.” I laughed and joked with her about how she had it all wrong. I wasn’t going anywhere. I was going to stay put and start the communist revolution right here.

And now due to the ever true maxim -the playa provides- the dream of my youth becomes a reality with the BRCCP. Oh mom, if you could only see your little delinquent now.

dadmom.jpg

tamarakay · Post by **tamarakay** » Thu Sep 17, 2015 2:23 pm

Talking with a friend who is working hard on getting healthy and losing weight

Her: why are you asking all these questions
Me: well I see it working for you and I need some help with 30-40 pounds.
Her: you are kidding. In my eyes you are perfect. Well, you know, except for all that crazy part.

MFOB · Post by **MFOB** » Thu Sep 17, 2015 3:58 pm

My mom never texts me things when she knows Ill say no, or debate over it. Her and my Step-Dad are the ones who send egregious chain emails that are so full of shit and they totally believe them. They also are Very Christian, Christians. So when it comes to finding something out, they will text or call the SO, because she is a pushover and they can get their way with her more than me. So before I left to go to BM, this is the text string that my Mom sent to my SO. Reminder, the SO has never been to BM.

Mom in Text to Sig Other:

Mom: When is he leaving?

SO: Sunday the 23rd probably. Depending on if he gets everything packed and ready to go.

Mom: OK, I have quite a few people praying real hard that the Holy Spirit will convict his heart and make him realize that Burning Man is not for him..... Its truly a hedonistic pagan celebration not unlike the Israelites building the golden calf and worshiping it instead of God. That's not a good place to be.

SO: I think you have a little bit of the wrong impression about what Burning Man is all about. He should sit down with you guys and share his feeling about it and show you some pictures, because it would really change your mind.

Mom: I don't know, I'm watching an hour long YouTube of Burning Man 2014 and it is so similar to Exodus 32 that it is scary. This festival is not about God, THAT is the problem.

SO: Eh, he doesn't take it that way. For him it is about creating a self sufficient community in the desert out of nothing, self reliance, beautiful art projects, and then leaving no trace. I'm sure most people attending don't feel anything "spiritual" about burning the art when they leave. I'm sure some people there are weirdo's about it, but most people there wouldn't compare it to a Bible story. He certainly is not worshiping the Burning Man, he just thinks it is a cool feat of engineering and an amazing structure.

Mom: No Reply.

SO went to visit them while I was gone for a Friday BBQ. Turns out a lot of those people Praying real hard were there. She said all of them gathered around her and placed their hands on her and started to pray that the Holy Spirit would find its way into my heart. Since then, the SO got weirded out and left shortly after. When I got home, she told me about it and stated "Im NOT going to see them (My folks) or be with them, or hang out with them for at least 3 weeks. That was some Fn weird shit they did to me and I felt uncomfortable as all hell!"

tamarakay · Post by **tamarakay** » Thu Sep 17, 2015 4:04 pm

Great story! My mom started off that way with me going, but has seen what it has done for my soul. Now she does a count down for me.

Aurelia · Post by **Aurelia** » Thu Sep 17, 2015 4:15 pm

I am the mother and say that they should have been in the temple of Confession

xoA.

Joeln · Post by **Joeln** » Thu Sep 17, 2015 9:41 pm

Love your story MFOB!
I thought my fox-news-loving, always-argue-politics parents were a pain in the ass...
Don't feel so bad now.

tamarakay · Post by **tamarakay** » Sat Dec 19, 2015 4:03 pm

The other day my daughter (not the one you guys know) came over. Kiss kiss hug hug. She kissed me again and wouldn't let go of the hug. This is my normally reserved daughter.
Me: are you ok? What's wrong.
C: I'm sick. I've been throwing up all day and I have a fever.

Soooooooooo, yep. Today is my turn.

tamarakay · Post by **tamarakay** » Sat Dec 19, 2015 4:05 pm

Two and a half year old grandson smelling the head of his one day old brother
"Ohhhhhh, he smells delicious"

lucky420 · Post by **lucky420** » Sat Dec 19, 2015 5:42 pm

He's right

Aurelia · Post by **Aurelia** » Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:35 am

Last night I started having conversations with my mother
She is no longer able to be here so I have to do both sides

It is great because I do know how she would advise me to respond
of course I am doing this without speaking out loud

xoA.

FIGJAM · Post by **FIGJAM** » Sun Dec 20, 2015 10:37 am

Serendipity strikes again!!!

I built some new steps for my new domicile.

My design left the inside open for storage, but I had no plans for what would go in there.

Then a bolt from the blue struck me.

While I was still smoldering, it looked like the "Burnt Offering" might fit.

TAA DAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ratty · Post by **Ratty** » Sun Dec 20, 2015 10:55 am

I love it when a plan, (or no plan), comes together. It's perfect.

FIGJAM · Post by **FIGJAM** » Sun Dec 20, 2015 12:29 pm

Well, THAT plan failed completely!!!

I meant to post in the bar thread.

Post by **Savannah** » Tue Dec 22, 2015 10:49 am

tamarakay wrote:The other day my daughter (not the one you guys know) came over. Kiss kiss hug hug. She kissed me again and wouldn't let go of the hug. This is my normally reserved daughter.
Me: are you ok? What's wrong.
C: I'm sick. I've been throwing up all day and I have a fever.

Soooooooooo, yep. Today is my turn.

I hope you're feeling better today.

I swear ta God . . . . just like those rats who are infected with certain parasites that have evolved to make their hosts become unafraid of cats (because then the cats catch the rats and become infected) . . . . just like them are human beings serving the whims of highly evolved colds. 'Cause it seems that the moment folks feel like they're coming down with something, the flame of sociableness burns hottest.

(I'm sick too, courtesy of someone who came to an Ugly Sweater Party I was attending. They were overheard yammering about their cold in the next room!)

Conversations with my mother

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