Semantics

gigglesnort · Post by **gigglesnort** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 12:09 pm

Always been an in-town city-type girl myself. But I dream big dreams of wide open spaces, lotsa animals, big garden......seems like a great way for a kid to come up. My grandpa had a bunch of land in rural Ava, Missouri, with a happy bubbly brook winding through, lots of horses.....happy summertime memories.....

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 12:42 pm

I hate the terms boyfriend/girlfriend for us becuse it reminds me of shallow, facile HS and college 'relationships'.

this is your own baggage

Lover works - but only between us. Otherwise it sounds like i'm saying we're just sexual toys.

lover is for married peoples objects of dalliance IMNSHO

Significant Other - accurate, but awkward. Sounds like you're trying to hard.

pretty sterile

Partner - sounds like we've decided to spend eternity together, though in practice 'partner' is an apt description.

are you in business together?

Sweetheart - works, more or less. vague enough to mean nothing.

looks good to me

'So you guys are...'

together

what do you all use?

my date
my wife
sugar pop
light of my life
love nugget
honey
dear
sex machine
delightful lamb muffin
pepperoni pizza
snuggly love basket
my sweatie
love
light
sugar
delicious kernel of snuggliness
super fabulous
bow chika wow wow
wondrous fuzzy

robbidobbs · Post by **robbidobbs** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 1:07 pm

It depends on which one I'm with.

Boyfriend was cute when he's 48 and I'm 40. It gave the "normals" pause. My grandmother was dying, she told my grandfather that after she was gone, to go out and get himself a girlfriend because he wasn't meant to be alone. He was then with Rae for 10 years, and we always refered to her as Grandaddy's Girlfriend.

Spouse when I was married. It was a reference to the legal co-identity that we had.

Significant Other is to say to co-workers when you're describing who you're bringing to the x-mas party. It also works when dealing with medical personelle and other officials. They shut up quick, nod and seem to give you the slack that "married" couples automatically enjoy.

Friend-with-Benefits is the name I prefer in my current head-space. It's descriptive, sufficiently vague, and it puts our friendship ahead of the sex part of our relationship. If I need to make a point about how intimate we are, I say we're very close friends.

I don't have a boyfriend/partner/spouse/SO right now, but I do leave the title choice open to fit the situation.

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 1:09 pm

Stuart, good to see you by the way,.... It's going to be hard to not ask you how your delightful lamb muffin is doing.... ewe know what I mean.

Simply Joel · Post by **Simply Joel** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 1:11 pm

howdy stuart,

i am especially fond of "bow chika wow wow"

does your wife like that one?

robbidobbs · Post by **robbidobbs** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 1:18 pm

Cock. Now there's a good, strong, masculine word.
"Sucking Cock" is so....deliberate. Perfect for the moment.
It's all those hard consonants I spose.
Testicles has too many syllables, "balls" is better.

I "felatiate".
Felatio. It sounds so....italian.
I also like the word masturbate.
You can "stroke yourself" but I "masturbate".

I don't like the word "pussy" , it reminds me of bad porn.

I especially like the word "fuck".
No commentary necessary with this crowd.

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 1:56 pm

my game is to try and greet my wife at the end of the day with some absurd but heartfelt goofy made up on the spot term of endearment. She then responds in kind. Some of them, like sugar pop and love nugget, stick.

Sex Machine just happens to rhyme with her middle name. So I call her Laura Jean Sex Machine.

Funny Anecdote...
Her last name is Shape. All of her old pals from college call her Shape, or Shapely or Sprockets (as in spacely space sprockets). So, a work friend of mine heard her being referred to as Shape at a party at my house. Without knowing that was acutally her last name he went on believing, for months, that that was her nickname because of her big boobs.

tonytohono · Post by **tonytohono** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 2:01 pm

I've been thinking about this for a coupla days now and I have come to the conclusion that just about anything can be said to where it is derogatory, or complimentary.

That may be the main reason that many communications on these forums end up the victim of miscomprehension.

What may you ask is missing?

The phonetics.

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 2:05 pm

you mean inflection?

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 2:07 pm

That and seeing the vain in their forehead bulge out and their faces turn red just before they take a swing at you.

gigglesnort · Post by **gigglesnort** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 2:09 pm

lack of eye contact and body language seriously restrict communication 'round heah, as well. It's a funny place! Rabbit hole indeed.

tonytohono · Post by **tonytohono** » Fri Dec 03, 2004 2:19 pm

Rian Jackson wrote:you mean inflection?

But of course. =)

The science thereof.

robbidobbs · Post by **robbidobbs** » Sat Dec 04, 2004 1:55 pm

If 50% of one's ability to communicate is lost when on the phone, then what is the expected success rate when using strictly text, in choppy, brief, often poorly edited (even misspelled!) sentences...

25%?
10%?

I'm fairly decent at the phone, since I've studied the shit for 20 years, but seem to fuck up routinely when it comes to getting a point across in text.

Did any of that make sense?

Bueller?

I'm going invisible up for a while, Samtzu & Sensei. It sometimes sucks to be on the Path.

Wind_Borne · Post by **Wind_Borne** » Sun Dec 05, 2004 12:04 am

GuinivereElise's remarks "as a former Minnesotan" are so apt.

And I find myself in close agreement with Stuart's term-by-term analysis.

Much of the fretting over which term of endearment to pick seems to arise out of fear. Fear of how other's will see your relationship. Fear of offending your dearest friend. Fear of admitting how dear your friend really is to you.

I say pick a word or phrase the conveys you're appreciation of your dearest. Not a label, like "husband". And not a function, like "lover". But something that says how you see and feel about that person. So perhaps you introduce them as your "Sweetheart", or "Dreamgirl", "Best Friend", or just gaze upon them gently as you say their name. You're best friend will know you love them, as will everyone present. I think that's what counts.

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Mon Dec 06, 2004 8:00 am

fear, my ass. i'm just such a weirdo i sit around thinking about semantics and politics and psychoanalysis and whatever other esoteric subject tickles my fancy.

you should try being in my head. it's a strange neighborhood.

frequently people will find me in thought and wonder what's up - usually thinking about equitable housing distribution plans of something along those lines.

BTW, EB White was kind of a stickler on semantics, or so i learned, preferring older, clearer terms - and their definitions.

(i guess he wouldn't have used love-air, but i kind of like it)

helitack · Post by **helitack** » Mon Dec 06, 2004 8:08 am

I kinda like "Hi Babe!", it usually works.

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Mon Dec 06, 2004 8:55 am

WTF!!! CoWorkerLurker just came up and put 'The Elements of Style' on my desk - the same damn book i was just thinking about.

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Mon Dec 06, 2004 10:59 am

Much of the fretting over which term of endearment to pick seems to arise out of fear.

now we're on to something...

Simply Joel · Post by **Simply Joel** » Mon Dec 06, 2004 11:00 am

Rian Jackson wrote:WTF!!! CoWorkerLurker just came up and put 'The Elements of Style' on my desk - the same damn book i was just thinking about.

does he have another copy for DVD?

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Mon Dec 06, 2004 11:02 am

*eye roll*
go psychoanalyse yourselves.

it's really fucking annoying - and rather rude - when you start doing it to others.

or maybe you're just projecting?

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Mon Dec 06, 2004 11:08 am

projecting?

protest too much?

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Mon Dec 06, 2004 11:15 am

ma biddish behki ma inte.
halas.
willa, f'ghox kemm ghandekk.

helitack · Post by **helitack** » Mon Dec 06, 2004 11:17 am

If you insist, we will be forced to say "gneee" upon you again!

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Mon Dec 06, 2004 11:21 am

helitack wrote:If you insist, we will be forced to say "gneee" upon you again!

so long as you wear those nifty brown boots.

(IT!)

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Mon Dec 06, 2004 11:26 am

from websta'

t' transmit 4-1-1, thought, o' feelin' so's dat it be satisfactori-like
received o' dug

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Mon Dec 06, 2004 11:32 am

ou talvez isto

para transmitir a informação, o pensamento, ou o sentimento de modo que satisfatoriamente seja recebido ou compreendido

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Mon Dec 06, 2004 11:34 am

then maybe you should learn more languages.

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Mon Dec 06, 2004 11:42 am

I made the assumption that since you posted something in a public forum that your intent was to communicate publicly.

Wind_Borne · Post by **Wind_Borne** » Mon Dec 06, 2004 12:01 pm

RJ,
I'm just writing from my experience -- your mileage may vary.

Among other things, Elements of Style advocates writing plainly and in the most forthright terms. So let me raise this peeve...

Gender is a property of words.
Sex is a property of living creatures.

In a great display wimpiness, sometime in the 80s people who were afraid to use the word sex started substituting the word gender. Back in the 50's people had no problem with the word sex. Hell, there was a whole toothpaste advertising campaign built around "Sex Appeal". But here in the third millenium many people cower at the idea of pronouncing the word sex.

I imagine the imprecise use of gender stems from studying romance languges that have masculine and feminine genders (and possibly a neuter gender, too), and coming away thinking that gender and sex are somehow related. They're not. Some languages have many genders, as many as 14, based on qualities such as "animate", "edible", or "warm". The word gender simply means type; and it defines what inflections go with what nouns.

One's sex is constant, but gender varies with the language spoken.

End Of Rant

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Mon Dec 06, 2004 1:14 pm

i'm actually most looking forward to digging into White's 'Pet Peeves' section.

it seems the whole world had heard of the 'little book' except for me. I hear E.B. White and think 'Charlotte's Web.'

Semantics

Name calling

Semantics vs. Phonetics