Anxiety and Depression - should I go?

[bubblygal]

Hi,

One and a half years ago I made some significant changes in my life (moved continents / jobs), which resulted in about 1 year of excitement and happiness and a sudden crash about one month ago. I have battled with anxiety attacks and depression before and so this is kind of familiar.

I've had disappointments in this recent journey I suppose, but I'm generally quite the overthinker and anxious gal. And whilst the recent crash was triggered by work mostly, I guess it's a question of expectations in life etc.

I have been traveling for work every week to a different country and this is keeping my stress levels up - no routine, no social life, no planning, etc.

And this year I find myself going to BM, with all the emotional charge it entails. Which means I am particularly stressed/anxious about the experience.

Question is... should I go??

[AntiM]

Of course, only you can truly gauge how you will feel if you make the choice either way. Your health always comes first. If it is all too much, cancel the burning plans and treat yourself to some serious relaxation and self care.

However, how will you feel about "missing out"? Will that create stress also? One idea if you truly want to go is to create an exit plan, and to make an agreement with yourself that if it all becomes too much you have given yourself permission to bow out without shame or regret. Be sure to ask for help if you are overwhelmed, you are never alone on the playa if you reach out. It is entirely okay to have a low key burn, hanging out with people you like, a little dancing, no drinking, even resting daily. Do what you want, not what is "expected".

[Captain Goddammit]

Hell yes!
While things are good now, in the past I've been in really shitty times and the Burning Man trip always did wonders for me.
When you're there, you tend to not give a crap about anything outside the gate.
You'll meet tons of cool people, who put huge effort into doing cool things.
Definitely go. This is a trip you don't want to miss, and this one isn't for your job. This one's for you.
Everyone is glad to meet you.
People will give you grilled cheese sandwiches. Late at night.

[mgb327]

Go. Go. Don't bother yourself with the should I/should I not. Go. I will give you bacon.

[Dr. Pyro]

If you have to ask, I'd say No. You sound like a real buzzkill.

[Sham]

If you have to ask, I'd say No. You sound like a real buzzkill.

Doc Pyro sucks. Don't listen to him.
You may or may not have the most amazing time of your life on the playa, but at least you'll know. You will be addressing your fears and anxieties head-on and will deal with them.
If you have a ticket and are all prepared, there is only one direction to head.
I will tell you that personally I was getting bored with life. Work, home, dinner out on the weekends---rinse and repeat. I was wilting.
I am now alive again and hope to continue heading to Black Rock City until my body completely gives out.
Again, you may have a different experience, but at least if you go, you'll know.

I hope to see you in the dust.
Sham....

[Jackass]

Burning Man, only if you go will you know... I like that.

[GreyCoyote]

Go! But have an exit plan. If you find you just cant cut it, and you've given yourself time enough to adapt, just pack up and take your leave. Done.

Burningman has an exit, and its open the entire burn. There is NO penalty for punching out early.

Go.

[dustyfux]

Hey, you're not alone. We all have boulders to push up the mountain, and we all deal with this fact differently.

I also have been dealing with anxiety and depression for the last two decades and I understand that it can come in and blindside the fuck out of you without notice. I've got my own set of rules to follow out there to keep that mindfuck roar down to a minimum and its worked for a dozen years.

That said, if I was having doubts at this point I'd still be packing. And I'd be talking to someone about my feelings

[mudpuppy000]

It's better to regret something you have done, than something you haven't done.

[Captain Goddammit]

Unless it's putting gerbils in your no-no

[lucky420]

Unless it's putting gerbils in your no-no

the voice of experience??

[Jackass]

I love it, things are already starting to get weird!

[Captain Goddammit]

Well I'm not a gerbil but I have a friend who is, and he says it sucked.

[Jackass]

Did he mention that it's a shitty job?

[C.f.M.]

Odds are fair you will experience the lowest you didn't know you could go to, and the highest that will make you cry relief because you forgot what joy feels like.

I have a saying, "a bad day at Burning Man is better than a good day in the real world."


If you know that you'll be able to take care of yourself despite whatever you're feeling at any given moment (ie, drink eat sunscreen warm clothes) I say go.

Sit on the esplanade with a sign reading "anxious and depressed, got a joke?" and see what happens...I bet there's an awful lot of people who'd sit down with you.

[some seeing eye]

With your current travel schedule you are more a champ than most individuals!

This thread on tips for shy people may have applicable advice: viewtopic.php?t=45094

There are so many things to do solo or with a group that you will likely find something to match your mood at any given moment.

Generally most of the participants are warm, friendly and want to meet new people. After a chat if it feels right it is very easy to say, "do you want to go out exploring?"

Experiences include wandering out solo to the deep playa beyond the temple to just look up at the stars or watch the sunrise. If at night light yourself do no one accidentally runs into you. There are camps like the HeeBeeGeeBeeHealers who do body work, arrive early to sign up. They have a great quiet, friendly shaded space to just sit in daytimes. Make a stop at the Kostume Kult, Black Rock Boutique or other costume camps for a makeover. Leave your past regrets at the temple, though I would say it is an emotional space. If you want to be wild, there are many opportunities as well.

I have always found the event is a reset which creates optimism that anything is possible. That might be exactly what you need right now.

You will likely never need, it but Emergency Services has mental health services in a quiet chill space staffed by pros. Just ask a ranger. If you need any prescriptions, bring them.

[maladroit]

I think that if you are already depressed, it's possible there will be a moment on the playa where you feel completely outside whatever is happening, you will probably trudge back to your tent and curl up and decide it was all a bad idea. Feeling alone in the middle of a crowd, feeling sad around so many happy people...it will throw things into deeper contrast than usual.

But...plan for this moment. Bring something special, like your favorite treat or your favorite song, make a promise to yourself now that you give it one extra day. This is your time, and many people stay in camp, read a book, take naps...whatever they need to recharge. You get to decide what your burn will be, you don't have to emulate what you think everyone else is doing.

I've had a moment like that every Burn, and you just have to go back to camp, eat something tasty, and say "no" to the city for a while. And then, venture out and say YES and somehow I've always had the best adventures afterwards

[Token]

I'm with DustyFux on this. Decades of coping, so we may got some more coping under our belts.

If you are on medication, bring plenty, take religiously at same time each day every day. Being late / early with next does has big bad effects.

Have exit plan.

Have comfy soothing place in camp to retreat if needed.

Get sleep daily.

Be excited, follow the shiny.

If all else fails, 10 cc of anything 80 proof or higher will terminate a panic attack in minutes. Just don't go overdoing.

Go.

[bubblygal]

If you have to ask, I'd say No. You sound like a real buzzkill.

You're such an asshole haha... why even bother to answer with something like that. Thanks A LOT everyone else for the advice. Let's do this!!

[Ratty]

Bubblygal, Welcome to eplaya.

why even bother to answer with something like that.

Have you ever heard the expression "Fuck yer day". Well, get ready to hear it quite a bit. In the spirit of the event it's not a bad thing to say or have said to you. Rude remarks are taken in stride on the playa and not meant to offend. If you have thin skin, you're in a world of hurt. I can't speak for Doc Pyro's intentions. I won't make excuses either. Only Doc knows what he meant by that. If I were you I would just tell him 'Fuck your day' and consider it a non-event.

[Canoe]

Seems like you're managing.

• As stated above, do take any meds strictly as directed. No self medicating.
  Stopping meds is one of the time-proven sure-fire ways to end up in difficulty at BRC.
• Make sure you have medical/evacuation insurance to cover costs of any med-evac from the playa to Reno for treatment. This EVERYBODY should have.
• Also, try to eat regularly. Hard for many to do in the heat, often reporting greatly reduced food intake, which may mess with your mind.
• And hugely important, water. And electrolytes. With reduced food intake, even though you're not working out, this results in reduced electrolyte levels, which can mess with your body and hence your mind. This is called Playa Condition; search to read more on the symptoms to watch out for, and advice like always carrying water with you when you go out to explore BRC. Easily avoided with adequate water intake each day and - just-in-case - a supplement like Emergency-C packets added to a bottle of water once a day. Doctors on playa told me that one should be all anyone needs, but just about anyone should be fine if they enjoy three of those a day. Pedialyte (spelling?) is another more potent favourite on the playa, but overkill for most people. If you get in trouble, the med camps have treatments to get your body back on track, but it's cheap and easy to avoid that necessity that would take time way from your exploring and enjoying your Burn.
• And speaking of which, should you find yourself in difficulty on the playa with mental/emotion issues, ask for directions to the Mental Health Services. Ask sooner rather than later, while the issue is smaller.
  Directions should be available from any BRC Ranger (http://burningman.org/event/black-rock- ... e/rangers/ search to know how to identify them from law enforcement), at any of the medical locations or at Playa Info at Centre Camp.
  You would not be the first to utilize these services - that is why they are there. If you feel you need them, like most things, accessing them sooner rather than later is better.

My own personal favourite piece of advice: Black Rock City is (usually) a wonderful place, but Usual Rules Apply. Be safe.
It's not a fairyland fantasy utopian ... I give up.

P.S. After my first Burn, back in Reno at Savemart recycle, while helping cleanup I encountered a Burner who had some obvious issues. He was complaining about how awful it was at Burning Man. Went on and on. He paused, then ended with "It's like that every year".

Another year, unable to go, on eplaya during the Burn I discovered a thread from someone evacuated to Reno who was trying to get back to the Playa after they were released from the hospital in Reno with nothing but her phone with dying battery, a few dollars and her hospital discharge papers. (note: there are reports that some manage to get a ride back to the playa in an ambulance, but Air Playa Info at the Reno airport is your best bet for getting assistance in selecting a safe Rideshare back to the playa)
Once a safe ride got her back to Gate, she was taken in hand and sorted out back to her camp.

[BBadger]

And if a joking remark like Dr. Pyro's can set you off, maybe you shouldn't go.

[Elorrum]

[FlyingMonkey]

Unless it's putting gerbils in your no-no

The gerbils probably regretted it more

[maladroit]

Turn your no-no into a yes-yes!

[bubblygal]

For future reference, I went, and it was absolutely WONDERFUL. I also had a major fallout really early on with a guy (date) I had planned to go with (both for BM as well as decompression), and despite the blow, it was still wonderful. It's really not as scary as it seems. I'll be back next year. Fuck yer burn!

[Ratty]

Yea for bubblygal! I'm glad you had a great time. If you're open to new experiences it's hard not to. Everybody has those 'playa moments' out there. The ones where you question your sanity and wish the wind would let up. Now get planning for next year. Different foods, how to better protect yourself from the elements etc...Don't be a stranger. Come to the 2017 Meet & Greet.

[Savannah]

For future reference, I went, and it was absolutely WONDERFUL. I also had a major fallout really early on with a guy (date) I had planned to go with (both for BM as well as decompression), and despite the blow, it was still wonderful. It's really not as scary as it seems. I'll be back next year. Fuck yer burn!

Yay! . . . I'm glad to hear you had an amazing time. Your first Burn probably won't even necessarily be your best. (They're all different.) Thank you for telling us how it went.

Oh--and having a falling out with a travel mate is pretty damned common.

There's some good stuff in the Relationship Survival Guide, which exists in the first place because the hard conditions test everyone. If you've never seen it before, take a gander.

http://burningman.org/event/preparation ... tionships/

.

[Oldguy]

Good for you. I suffer from clinical depression and have attended since 2005. I take every day Zoloft 100 mg. For panic attacks, I take Xanax. Staying ahead of the problem is half the battle. Medical problems can be controlled in harsh conditions. Drinking a gallon of water daily is the key. Using earplugs can lessen the noise, that helps me desensitize and reduce stress. Brava !