Top Asshats of 2016

[Jackass]

That's a good point, carry on...

[BBadger]

Don't place your trailer/genny on the edge of your camp if you have no clue who may be on the other side. Point it into your own damn camp.

I like the honey approach.

Oh I thought the honey approach was to provide a fuel additive.

[trilobyte]

Just say no to property damage and other criminal behavior. Aside from you being on the hook for charges (as well as immediate eviction from the event) if caught, even if you get away with it you contribute to crime in Black Rock City... which makes us all look bad in the eyes of law enforcement and other government agencies/regulators.

[BBadger]

Alright then, a decorated parabolic sound reflector mobile art piece.

[mudpuppy000]

or a whistle tip, lol.

[ygmir]

I have just what you need, and it's for sale:

DSCN0694.JPG

[bigbluedoggy]

I did some shifts as a cashier in Center Camp Cafe this year, as I usually do. It's really fun and I love interacting with everyone. The Cafe people are the best! Sadly, not all of the people in line meet that same criteria. This one woman gets up to the register and orders two drinks, then discovers she only has enough money for one of them. I nicely let her know that the drinks at the Cafe cost money as posted and I'm sorry, there are no freebies. She then insists that since it is Burning Man, I should gift her the second drink, which I politely explain is not going to happen. It might have gone differently with much less entitlement on her part, as we will often shout out to the line in general seeing if there is anyone willing to help a person out. But no, we will not gift you a free cup of anything except advice or abuse as stated on the menu. She trounces off in a huff and goes to wait for her drink order to be called. When she comes back to pick up her drink, she once again has to get her digs in about how Burning Man is all about the gifting and disdainfully states that I clearly must be a newbie as she reaches out to fondle and examine some of the swag around my neck. I smile at her pitifully and politely inform her I have been gifting free advice and abuse here in the Cafe for 11 years... and you? She had nothing left to say except Fuck Yer Burn, to which I politely and truthfully responded in kind, with a big smile. Small potatoes on the asshat scale, but she added a sour note to my burn I could easily have done without. Entitlement gone rampant.

[silas thatcher]

Our personal top asshat was the guy from LA with a rental trailer brought in by a vendor, placed right on the Hushville line with the generator muffler pointed straight into our camp. He may or may not have tried not to run it a lot, and as it was a cool year, perhaps he did not, but he wasn't interested in the slightest about muffling it. I don't think he was prepared to do so, had just rented a fucking trailer and had it plopped down. "It isn't that stinky or loud". No dude, of course not, you're in the fucking trailer! We parked a car in between, and that helped with the noise, but did little for the exhaust.

Don't place your trailer/genny on the edge of your camp if you have no clue who may be on the other side. Point it into your own damn camp.

was this on 530 ??? by dpw maybe ??? i saw the same set up on the way to the loo.... it ran ALL the time and was a bit annoying

[Ano]

The girl who plopped down and took a huge shit in the deep playa. (Picture from reddit: http://i.imgur.com/CwNOX39.jpg)

And, a gigantic special holy-fuck-you to the person in our neighborhood who:

Used our shower without asking, claimed it as their own, and showed other people how to use it
Routinely plugged into our generator without asking, prompting us to move it
Dumped pee into our grey water

We caught this person multiple times but let them go. Turns out there was a serial group of assholes doing this in our neighborhood according to neighbors, and I don't think they ever got caught.

On Monday we woke up and surprise! Our previously near-empty grey water was completely full, causing us a massive and disgusting delay. I wish I turned you into the Rangers, Captain Asshole.

Speaking of delay - the story behind the amber alert makes me furious. All the people behind that are also on my list.

*exhale*

[Eddaytona]

Top Ass Hats (in order)
1. The guy at the Infected Mushroom concert that got up on the riser straight back from the stage and pushed all the folks (including me and my wife) aside so they almost fell. Then he whipped out a drum and a set of cymbals and started drumming (badly) over the sound of the band. At least he finally moved on.
2) The guy at the airport who signed up for a ride, didn't show when his turn came, and showed up three hours later explaining his drunk girlfriend just needed to take a nap and although it was 1/2 an hour to closing time angrily insisted he should get priority over the others waiting patiently. Then he fell over, face planted himself and knocked himself out. When folks came over to try to help him he roused himself and told everyone to fuck off while giving us the finger.
3) That guy with the bullhorn (A pet peeve. Selfish self-centered schmucks) somewhere by the sound camps during temple burn who was brilliantly telling folks which way to walk or something for almost an hour while folks cried in their pain.

It was a great burn otherwise. Ursa Major was truly awesome too. Our little camp at the corner of 2:30 and E rocked it with 15 family members and our giant Lite Brite, adult coloring book lounge and black-light 3d art was a neighborhood hit. Folks were really nice and complimentary and would hang around all night. Those little pieces of beautiful is what this is really about after all.

[BBadger]

I did some shifts as a cashier in Center Camp Cafe this year, as I usually do. It's really fun and I love interacting with everyone. The Cafe people are the best! Sadly, not all of the people in line meet that same criteria. This one woman gets up to the register and orders two drinks, then discovers she only has enough money for one of them. I nicely let her know that the drinks at the Cafe cost money as posted and I'm sorry, there are no freebies. She then insists that since it is Burning Man, I should gift her the second drink, which I politely explain is not going to happen. It might have gone differently with much less entitlement on her part, as we will often shout out to the line in general seeing if there is anyone willing to help a person out. But no, we will not gift you a free cup of anything except advice or abuse as stated on the menu. She trounces off in a huff and goes to wait for her drink order to be called. When she comes back to pick up her drink, she once again has to get her digs in about how Burning Man is all about the gifting and disdainfully states that I clearly must be a newbie as she reaches out to fondle and examine some of the swag around my neck. I smile at her pitifully and politely inform her I have been gifting free advice and abuse here in the Cafe for 11 years... and you? She had nothing left to say except Fuck Yer Burn, to which I politely and truthfully responded in kind, with a big smile. Small potatoes on the asshat scale, but she added a sour note to my burn I could easily have done without. Entitlement gone rampant.

After the first tirade I'd probably be on the verge of telling her "Get the fuck out of here hippie!" -- but by the second, telling her:

"No soup for you! TWO DAYS!"

while raising my finger.

soup-nazi-left.jpg

Then I (or someone else) would take back the single cup of coffee, hand her back her money, and then told her "now get the fuck out of here, hippie!"

[Elderberry]

I would also like to add a personal Fuck you to the two assholes who decided to give our camp two red spots after we left.

I personally mooped both those areas Tuesday morning and they were squeaky clean when we left at 12:45 P.M. Tuesday.

Since the only thing inbound from our camp was placed theme camps, I am even more pissed off since this kind of behavior is more like something I expect from newbie frat boys.

We always take detailed pictures of our entire area just before we leave the playa. Never needed to use them so don't know if that would help to be a mitigating factor with placement if we had proof of exactly how our area looked when we left it, but it makes us feel a little less worried should that ever happen.

[Meat Hunter]

There is no doubt in my mind that there are a good number of "asshats" running around the playa.

I am just lucky that I have never run across one on the playa. I run across enough of them in my neck of the woods to me well satisfied.

[FlyingMonkey]

ME

While you were all out frolicking in the desert, I was here and by far the biggest asshat on the rather quiet boards.

Never once hesitated to dish out the snark.

You are all welcome!

Hey, I tried to help too. You, Me & Canoe pretty much owned ePlaya foe a week

[FlyingMonkey]

We need to start gifting parking boots.

. Think I can get a grant for this?

Only if it is a giant boot that fits over the whole car. Now that's art

[pink]

The jerk from the Shamandome who, while I was mooping on Tuesday pointed to a bike on our lot and told me, 'that one isn't ours.' I said, it's not ours either, don't you put it on our lot. He says' all of our bikes are marked and we had 80 and they're all here.' (He has a trailer full of bikes). He tries to tell me the bike was already on our lot but since I had been mooping that area not an hour earlier I knew he was lying and told him so. 'Don't try to shove stuff left in your camp on us'.

And yeah, I had to deal with the fucking bike.