Greetings, Earthlings!

[XaOs]

I’m not from around here, not originally. I crashed-landed at the edge of a desert (not this one - a different one very far away) quite a long time ago. Fortunately I was found in a land where hospitality is taken seriously and strangers in need are taken care of. A kindly and skilled doctor patched me up, and while communication was difficult at first (especially having lost my antennae, crushed in the wreck, still miss them terribly) the locals patiently taught me their language and customs and looked after me while I healed. I was delighted to discover that they had coffee. At least we had something in common.

Over the years, I slowly worked my way west, making a modest living trading, roasting, and brewing the magic bean. I gravitated towards outsiders, misfits, freaks, and weirdos - any group where my differences might not be so apparent and where I was accepted for who I was. I picked up a lot of strange ideas, unorthodox beliefs, and hidden knowledge long the way. I hung out at gypsy camps, back-alley cafes, secret salons, fringe festivals, and ephemeral communities with drifters, freethinkers, heretics, rebels, poets, artists, libertines, bohemians, and hipsters. The styles and lingo changed over time, and differed from place to place, but the values and attitudes remained essentially the same. And they all loved the coffee.

In 1996 (I think - multiple timelines are a bitch) I discovered Burning Man. I recognized it immediately. This is where I can be more of who I am and less of who I am supposed to pretend to be. “Home.”

My current interests include bebop jazz, surf rock, outlaw poetry, retro-futurism, outsider art, hot rod space ships, interstellar travel (gonna get off this rock someday I hope) and coffee. Always coffee.

[Elderberry]

Hey there, welcome to eplaya!

[Captain Goddammit]

Oh no, they've stolen the XU-37 Explosive Space Modula-toor.

[Traveller in Time]

Welcome and Thanks for the

[Elliot]

Oooooo…. Wow. YOU! Double wow with gold braids and oak leaf clusters! Is it really you?!
I’m so glad to see that you recovered so well!

Ah… of course, you don’t remember me. You were knocked out – green blood everywhere.

The rescuers whisked you off to hospital – but I could never find out which hospital. I didn’t even know if you survived.
So this sure is a happy day!

XaOs… that was my front yard you crashed in!

Officials took lots of photos, yet I have never seen any of them. They talked a lot about “secrecy”. But I managed to sneak in a snapshot, unnoticed, just before they towed your craft away. Here… take a look:

[XaOs]

Yeah, the Man, like, impounded it, right? And with those warrants still outstanding, no way I'm gonna show up to try to get it back. Doesn't matter, can't fix it anyway, parts are a bitch to find - actually impossible, what with the quarantine and all, dig? So it looks like I'm gonna be stuck here for a while, at least until the travel ban is lifted, and at this rate, it's gonna be a long, long time before that happens. Like, nowheresville, man.

[Elliot]

Actually, I made a pretty good replica out of two 9-foot/10-foot aluminum satellite dishes -- the kind some earthlings used to have in their front yard so they could watch television from Mars or somewhere out there (presumably). I still see such dishes in rural yards, so maybe... if you are handy?

[XaOs]

Actually, I made a pretty good replica out of two 9-foot/10-foot aluminum satellite dishes -- the kind some earthlings used to have in their front yard so they could watch television from Mars or somewhere out there (presumably). I still see such dishes in rural yards, so maybe... if you are handy?

"Handy?"

Sorry, not my bag, man. Sounds like kinda of a drag, if you ask me. Like, it's all I can do to just make coffee.

[Mountain Bobby]

Maynard G. Krebs, the hero to a lot of kids that were being babysat by the TV during the 1959 to 1963 time.
And yes I am one of those kids...sad isn't it?

[Elliot]

Oh, XaOs, I'm so sorry. Your injuries, of course; and Earth's unregulated gravity.

[Savannah]

Welcome, Xaos!

[Captain Goddammit]

Oh, XaOs, I'm so sorry. Your injuries, of course; and Earth's unregulated gravity.

I'm pretty sure gravity will be regulated in California soon.

[Mountain Bobby]

Oh, XaOs, I'm so sorry. Your injuries, of course; and Earth's unregulated gravity.

I'm pretty sure gravity will be regulated in California soon.

And TAXED!