Guard Dawg Thread

[Guard Dawg]

Any artists and animators wish to collaborate on a mutant car or roving temple?

Ginormous Penis Mobil that every day ,precisely at noon squirts from it head 12, 1-gallon shots of water above the surrounding crowd.

Maybe on the last day of the event have numerous spigots shaped like penises ozzing shaved ice???

[Captain Goddammit]

Big penis art cars have actually been done, I can think of several. In ‘00 a guy had one that dispensed vodka.

Generally, it’s up to you to build your idea.


The place to start with an MV is logistics. How big a truck and trailer have you got? Size of MV starts with what you can haul out there.
Next is fabrication skills, and how much space you have to work in.
And money.

You kinda have to work backwards from there to arrive at the goal of putting an MV in BRC.

One of the realities of having friends help build is they really need to be local. Very local. Road tripping for a weekend or two here and there doesn’t allow enough time to really get much done. You gotta work on it after work during the week and on weekends. Your help needs to be fully involved, or they end up slowing you down more than speeding you up when they show up for a “help” session.

I love MVs and have been involved with them, as a builder and owner for a really long time. I’d love to see you build something really awesome.

[Guard Dawg]

Big penis art cars have actually been done, I can think of several. In ‘00 a guy had one that dispensed vodka.

Generally, it’s up to you to build your idea.


The place to start with an MV is logistics. How big a truck and trailer have you got? Size of MV starts with what you can haul out there.
Next is fabrication skills, and how much space you have to work in.
And money.

You kinda have to work backwards from there to arrive at the goal of putting an MV in BRC.

One of the realities of having friends help build is they really need to be local. Very local. Road tripping for a weekend or two here and there doesn’t allow enough time to really get much done. You gotta work on it after work during the week and on weekends. Your help needs to be fully involved, or they end up slowing you down more than speeding you up when they show up for a “help” session.

I love MVs and have been involved with them, as a builder and owner for a really long time. I’d love to see you build something really awesome.

Yeah, was Day tripping. For an art car, I am thinking an replica of a WWI tank with dance floor and pole stage. Huge!!!

[Captain Goddammit]

Do you have any mechanical and fabrication background?
Can you transport such a thing?

[Guard Dawg]

Do you have any mechanical and fabrication background?
Can you transport such a thing?

Well, I have an FAA A&P cert. Worked on B-1B bomber and Space Shuttle Endeavour. Lots of carpentry, plumbing, water, sewage, hydraulic, electrical, etc. Jack of all trades master of none.

Live on a five acre compound with 30x40 hobby shop. A 50-year collection of tools, including backhoe.

Beyond rough sketches, I have zero artistic talent. Same for animation or drafting.

[Token]

Holly Woolly Mamith Balls!

I peg you at 14, 15 years old tops!

Maybe that is your maturity level and you could be older.

Are you counting your grandfathers tools in that collection?

So if you are an old fart, what’s with all the Depends comments? If you have 50 years worth of your own tools, you got anal seepage too. Fes up, no need for denial. This shindig been going on for decades and we all feeling gravity.

Building amazing stuff for BM doesn’t actually need to involve any artistic stuff.

The most impressive stuff ends up being big badass engineering anyway, so don’t sell yourself short.

Build some shit, see how it goes.

[Captain Goddammit]

Ok so assuming all that you should have the skill set and room to build something.
Next logistic to making it real is scale, you can go as big as you’re able to carry out there. That depends on your truck and trailer size and weight capacity.

Once that’s established, the next Big MV Decision is - full custom creation, or build in an existing “base vehicle” chassis. Sometimes the thing you want to build dictates that part.
I had to go all custom on my boat, boats have been done to death at Burning Man but almost no one does a convincing one, they all slap a boat hull on top of a car or truck chassis, and that’s what they look like. I wanted one that didn’t look like that, so I had to build the suspension and running gear from scratch. There’s not a huge amount of artsy-art to it, but tons of mechanical engineering. It looks simple as can be on the outside and in the cabin, below the floorboards it looks like a cross between the Space Shuttle and a broken robot.

From the way you describe yourself, that might be the kind of thing that’s right up your alley.
Like Token said, a lot of the coolest stuff is the mechanical engineering.
Anyone can screw plywood over a truck and decorate it. Burning Man is a great place for guys that can engineer and build shit, not necessarily the artsy-art type.

The other thing is, you really need to go at least once to understand the important design factors of a Burning Man MV. After you’ve been there, things you thought were important won’t be, and things you didn’t figure on will be.
The larger the scale, the more this is true.

“Tank” style MVs have been done many times too. One of the coolest uses sequential-flashing LEDs to outline the tank tracks (which don’t actually move - wheeled vehicles are a whole lot better for the playa) so they appear to be moving as the tank goes, but the cool thing is they’re synchronized to the tank’s speed so they speed up and slow down with the vehicle. The effect is awesome at night.

[Guard Dawg]

Holly Woolly Mamith Balls!

I peg you at 14, 15 years old tops!

Maybe that is your maturity level and you could be older.

Are you counting your grandfathers tools in that collection?

So if you are an old fart, what’s with all the Depends comments? If you have 50 years worth of your own tools, you got anal seepage too. Fes up, no need for denial. This shindig been going on for decades and we all feeling gravity.

Building amazing stuff for BM doesn’t actually need to involve any artistic stuff.

The most impressive stuff ends up being big badass engineering anyway, so don’t sell yourself short.

Build some shit, see how it goes.

I am 60 going on 14 thank you. Operated in hostile environments the closest you'll
Ever come is the boobtube Call of Duty or the movies.

Yes, inherited tools from many relatives and your point being?

Apparently, you must be the self-annointed BM forum troll and pain in the ass but I still love you.

Hugs a kisses from Commiefornia.

[Guard Dawg]

Ok so assuming all that you should have the skill set and room to build something.
Next logistic to making it real is scale, you can go as big as you’re able to carry out there. That depends on your truck and trailer size and weight capacity.

Once that’s established, the next Big MV Decision is - full custom creation, or build in an existing “base vehicle” chassis. Sometimes the thing you want to build dictates that part.
I had to go all custom on my boat, boats have been done to death at Burning Man but almost no one does a convincing one, they all slap a boat hull on top of a car or truck chassis, and that’s what they look like. I wanted one that didn’t look like that, so I had to build the suspension and running gear from scratch. There’s not a huge amount of artsy-art to it, but tons of mechanical engineering. It looks simple as can be on the outside and in the cabin, below the floorboards it looks like a cross between the Space Shuttle and a broken robot.

From the way you describe yourself, that might be the kind of thing that’s right up your alley.
Like Token said, a lot of the coolest stuff is the mechanical engineering.
Anyone can screw plywood over a truck and decorate it. Burning Man is a great place for guys that can engineer and build shit, not necessarily the artsy-art type.

The other thing is, you really need to go at least once to understand the important design factors of a Burning Man MV. After you’ve been there, things you thought were important won’t be, and things you didn’t figure on will be.
The larger the scale, the more this is true.

“Tank” style MVs have been done many times too. One of the coolest uses sequential-flashing LEDs to outline the tank tracks (which don’t actually move - wheeled vehicles are a whole lot better for the playa) so they appear to be moving as the tank goes, but the cool thing is they’re synchronized to the tank’s speed so they speed up and slow down with the vehicle. The effect is awesome at night.

Thanks Captain. Awesome name BTW. Like to see your creation.

Being 6'-"6" I like to think big like a Death Star or Borg Cube 100x100x100 crawling slowly around the playa on electric powered wheels and crew dressed like the Borg.

On side of the Cube covered with solar panels that could be always oriented toward the sun. the rest of the Cube smoothed with LEDs, flame exhibits and lasers. Maybe a Jumbotron for PSA's. Time/temperature/lost and found. Each corner will have water connons to hose down the crowd below. Water would not be an issue as it would hold 10,000 gallons. Maybe a ginormous foghorn to sound everyday at noon.

Ground level would feature a ginormous dance floor or meeting area.

Need an artist for conceptual drawings.

[Guard Dawg]

Ok so assuming all that you should have the skill set and room to build something.
Next logistic to making it real is scale, you can go as big as you’re able to carry out there. That depends on your truck and trailer size and weight capacity.

Once that’s established, the next Big MV Decision is - full custom creation, or build in an existing “base vehicle” chassis. Sometimes the thing you want to build dictates that part.
I had to go all custom on my boat, boats have been done to death at Burning Man but almost no one does a convincing one, they all slap a boat hull on top of a car or truck chassis, and that’s what they look like. I wanted one that didn’t look like that, so I had to build the suspension and running gear from scratch. There’s not a huge amount of artsy-art to it, but tons of mechanical engineering. It looks simple as can be on the outside and in the cabin, below the floorboards it looks like a cross between the Space Shuttle and a broken robot.

From the way you describe yourself, that might be the kind of thing that’s right up your alley.
Like Token said, a lot of the coolest stuff is the mechanical engineering.
Anyone can screw plywood over a truck and decorate it. Burning Man is a great place for guys that can engineer and build shit, not necessarily the artsy-art type.

The other thing is, you really need to go at least once to understand the important design factors of a Burning Man MV. After you’ve been there, things you thought were important won’t be, and things you didn’t figure on will be.
The larger the scale, the more this is true.

“Tank” style MVs have been done many times too. One of the coolest uses sequential-flashing LEDs to outline the tank tracks (which don’t actually move - wheeled vehicles are a whole lot better for the playa) so they appear to be moving as the tank goes, but the cool thing is they’re synchronized to the tank’s speed so they speed up and slow down with the vehicle. The effect is awesome at night.

Like to see photos/videos of your creation?

[Guard Dawg]

How about a Borg Cube?

http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/Admir ... 611pcs.jpg

[Traveller in Time]

Should have fitted this year.

Detail is you find them rarely in the thrift shop. And if you have one you need to fly it in yourself. No way the Nevada Police will let you pass on the road without a thorough search.

[Captain Goddammit]

There’s a tiny one in my avatar. I used to use photobucket but that’s out, maybe someone else has one.
I haven’t really got any good photos of the business end of it. The mechanical stuff is all hidden. Most of the entire hull bottom is intact and the boat hull itself is the chassis.
It uses a transaxle in the rear for rear steering and power. You drive from out on the forward deck; that’s intentional to give the driver a full unobstructed view. MVs you can’t see well out of are a pain and dangerous. You can shut the forward window and isolate the driver from the main cabin, making it totally legal for carrying and drinking alcohol. (There ARE rules and shit, and you can get an open container or DUI on an MV.)
There are a lot of things to know and consider when you design one.
Pie in the sky crazy is one thing, actually building something that works is another.

[Guard Dawg]

Should have fitted this year.

Detail is you find them rarely in the thrift shop. And if you have one you need to fly it in yourself. No way the Nevada Police will let you pass on the road without a thorough search.

Thiftshop, police? I don't understand.

[Guard Dawg]

http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/Admir ... 611pcs.jpg

[Guard Dawg]

[imghttp://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/AdmiralStupi ... 611pcs.jpg][/img]

[Guard Dawg]

How to post pictures?

[Guard Dawg]

There’s a tiny one in my avatar. I used to use photobucket but that’s out, maybe someone else has one.
I haven’t really got any good photos of the business end of it. The mechanical stuff is all hidden. Most of the entire hull bottom is intact and the boat hull itself is the chassis.
It uses a transaxle in the rear for rear steering and power. You drive from out on the forward deck; that’s intentional to give the driver a full unobstructed view. MVs you can’t see well out of are a pain and dangerous. You can shut the forward window and isolate the driver from the main cabin, making it totally legal for carrying and drinking alcohol. (There ARE rules and shit, and you can get an open container or DUI on an MV.)
There are a lot of things to know and consider when you design one.
Pie in the sky crazy is one thing, actually building something that works is another.

Daydeaming is funner [sic] than video games.

Yes, many things to consider. Planning and preparation is the key.

Perhaps a scaled down one or two person Cube.

Been studying the rules, I love bending rules. Any rules about a crew living aboard a mutant vehicle? I didn't see any, did I miss it?

Yes, saw the rules about alcohol.

How about an Oympic size pool slowly crawling around the playa? Only 660,000 gallons. How much could that weigh???

[Traveller in Time]

Use the quotes to see how I did it







Oh and use preview if you are ot sure about thelayout

[Guard Dawg]

Thanks, let me see...

[Traveller in Time]

Dreaming about the thrift shop / space-ship-junkyard . . .

[Guard Dawg]

[Traveller in Time]

Did she/it not live in a Borg-Sphere?

[Captain Goddammit]

The alcohol rules aren’t Burning Man rules, those are real-cops rules.
The swimming pool idea has major things wrong with it.
It is strictly forbidden by heath dept. rules to have any kind of public pool. That’s the main one. Also I don’t believe you could physically do it. Even if you could build the chassis, which I’m saying you couldn’t, it’s too much weight to roll around on the playa. And a semi truck tanker holds maybe 10,000 gallons... you’d have to truck all that water in AND OUT.
Yeah right.

Sure you can live aboard your MV, but you have to park it in your camp, you can’t just park out on the playa and set up residence.

Pretty much nothing you’ve said is even remotely realistic. To be honest I don’t believe you’re gonna build anything, because of that.

[Guard Dawg]

50... 100 foot diameter geodesic dome on a electric, solar powered Catapillar endless tank-track transport platform. Crawling at snails pace along the playa inner permitted boundary.

Dance floor and meeting area under geodesic platform located in-between tank tracks.

Each camp member is allotted a certain square footage for sleeping and mellow lounging. Loud boisterous activity is discouraged at eco camp and encourage members to respect the Headphones or earbud only policy. In fact, superfluous electronic gadgets are discouraged. Echo Dome is about tranquility and living in harmony with nature.

Each member possessing solar panels can attach and connect them on the outside of the dome to contribute to the "Community" power grid.

Eating in sleeping areas is discouraged.

Potluck or Communal preparation of breakfast and dinner participation mandatory.

Etc etc etc.

On the other hand, how about the "Dome of...[your suggestion here]

[Captain Goddammit]

You really need to go to Burning Man first, you just don’t understand the logistics yet.
You’d never be able to roll a 100’ wide anything along the inner playa. Too many obstacles... lamp poles, art installations, people hanging out, bikes laying on the playa, etc.
You can’t camp on the playa. You’d have to take it to your camp, and that’s too big to get down the streets. Even 50’ is too wide to take down the streets to get to camp.

I really hate to not have positive input. I love MVs. But you’ve got to get your feet on Planet Earth.

Come on man, assuming you’re as qualified as you said, what could you really do? Never mind all the fantasy-giant this or that, that physically won’t work even if you could build it.

There’s gotta be a realistic idea somewhere in your rocket surgeon brain.

[Guard Dawg]

Pretty much nothing you’ve said is even remotely realistic. To be honest I don’t believe you’re gonna build anything, because of that.

(Coughing....God dammit this is some good shit!!!) Begging the captain's pardon, but thank you for your edifying words of support and encouragement. Happy Feng shui to you too.

Many people thought Alexander Graham Bell was mentally-ill to think a voice could be transmitted through a metal wire. The technology required was available for 10 years but it took him to figure it out.

Many thought it was impossible to break the sound barrier or go to the moon and safely return.

I was reading about Big Imagination, and the transportation costs of $50,000 dollars to transport portion of a 747 fuselage 500+ miles to the playa. I guess that's round-trip? Dunno.

I was also reading about the Tree of Life how was conceived to be 100 feet high.

Yeah, I would like to build a personal mutant vehicle that would provide community transport while providing 7-days of stealth camping facilities. Sleep, cook, eat for 3 to four crew members.

Or scaled way down to just a one man operation.

Has there been a vigina mobile?

Peace goddamnit!!!

[Captain Goddammit]

There’s been all sorts of vagina-things.
Big Imagination is the baby of a guy named Ken Feldman. There was a very, very large budget involved and so much labor over several years time, by some friends of mine one of whom basically quit his job to work free full time on it.
That’s a pretty big measuring stick for a guy who hasn’t even been there and seen how things work yet. And I hope you’re a retired Silicon Valley zillionaire.

Really, I love MVs and I like the people who build them.
I just know the things you’re proposing are biting off way too much. And you cannot camp out on the playa in your MV... you need to drop that idea, it won’t be allowed when you get there. I’ve spent the night out on the playa in mine before, and been made to move on, by real cops. Not BRC Rangers, real cops.

I would love to give hands-on experienced positive input on the construction of a new MV.
But, you’re just not dealing with reality.

Scale down a bit! How many semi trucks do you have?

[Guard Dawg]

Has any environmental group initiated any attempt to stop the burning man burn?

Considering today's concerns about global warming, IMHO some kind of soot/ash collection hood and particular black filtration system should be mandated. Or, in the spirit of cleaner air, eliminate the burn. Leave no trace right?

I remember vaguely the fire falls at Yosemite. It was stopped for environmental reasons.

[Guard Dawg]

Revised

Has any environmental group initiated any attempt to stop the burning man burn?

Considering today's concerns about global warming, IMHO some kind of soot/ash collection hood and particulate filtration system should be mandated. Or, in the spirit of cleaner air, eliminate the burn. Leave no trace right?

I remember vaguely the fire falls at Yosemite. It was stopped for environmental reasons.