The Bar

helitack · Post by **helitack** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 3:40 pm

Guaranteed!

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 3:41 pm

sputnik wrote:As long as they were worn by women.

Most women I know don't wear rocks. Oh well, semi-precious stones occasionally.

buckethead alien · Post by **buckethead alien** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 3:54 pm

I gotta go. Y'all can lay as many mimes as you like all by yourselves.

Cheers!

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 3:56 pm

buckethead alien wrote:I gotta go. Y'all can lay as many mimes as you like all by yourselves.

Cheers!

who said anything about getting laid?

helitack · Post by **helitack** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 3:57 pm

Yeah, the visual might be good but what about the audio?

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 3:58 pm

when having sex with a mime, is one expected to be silent?
and considering that they rarely actually DO anything, wouldn't it be a little unsatisfying?

helitack · Post by **helitack** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 3:59 pm

Bingo!

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 4:01 pm

It's like that old joke.

Why are women so bad at math?

Everyone's telling them this *fingers held up 4 inches apart* is 10 inches.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 4:03 pm

Plus there's that really embarrassing moment when you find you've been using the jackhammer and not the vibrator. . .

helitack · Post by **helitack** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 4:05 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:Plus there's that really embarrassing moment when you find you've been using the jackhammer and not the vibrator. . .

Bad visual

GuinivereElise · Post by **GuinivereElise** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 4:09 pm

that was an old joke a friend of mine used to use in his standup act:

[paraphrasing terribly] my wife used to date a mime. boy to I hate mimes. now, whenever we're having sex, and she doesn't say anything, I know she's thinking of him... [/paraphrasing terribly]

gigglesnort · Post by **gigglesnort** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 4:18 pm

[with sparkly white snowflakes on her hair and eyelashes, plops on a barstool, manic twinkle in her eye]

hiya everybody! I LOVE SNOW! IT SNOWED!!!

Sandwichman · Post by **Sandwichman** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 4:25 pm

buckethead alien wrote:Sign me up as a confirmed mine-hater. Reminds me of a scene in a movie that I have never seen in which the clowns in the clown bar run out to kick some ass whenever a mine walks by.

That was Shakes the Clown. Shakes is trying to get sober because he is an alcoholic clown. Later to help him get over the cravings for a drink his friends take him mime bashing. Later in the movie the clown is forced to hide out when accused of being a killer. So he hides out in mime class. the movie fucking rocks. If you drink you will probably find it funny.

Jason

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 4:31 pm

gigglesnort wrote:[with sparkly white snowflakes on her hair and eyelashes, plops on a barstool, manic twinkle in her eye]

hiya everybody! I LOVE SNOW! IT SNOWED!!!

I wish it would snow here sometime. Never does here in the Bay Area, though. My kids would be beside themselves. We have decided to go up someplace and visit snow between Christmas and New Years.

helitack · Post by **helitack** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 4:35 pm

Hey,we get it all here, extreme heat, very cold, wind, floods, snow, rain, earthquakes. All we need is a volcano to round things out.

gigglesnort · Post by **gigglesnort** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 4:41 pm

geekster wrote:
gigglesnort wrote:[with sparkly white snowflakes on her hair and eyelashes, plops on a barstool, manic twinkle in her eye]

hiya everybody! I LOVE SNOW! IT SNOWED!!!
I wish it would snow here sometime. Never does here in the Bay Area, though. My kids would be beside themselves. We have decided to go up someplace and visit snow between Christmas and New Years.

Oh my gawd! I can't even tell you what it's like when it snows here! ha ha ha!!!!! It doesn't even matter how old I get or where I am, I always get the same no-school-tomorrow extra-special-once-in-a-lifetime hyper-excited IT-SNOWED! feeling!!!!! hee!

I let my girls out to play at nighttime in the city when we finally made it home-no problem! A vast white safety blanket covers everywhere, forcing everyone to STOP! BE STILL! STOP DRIVING! Everything and everybody just turned on its head.

People get out, walk, laugh, get drunk, talk! So much fun! I wish I had a neighborhood bar here.

BUT neverfear! I bought peppermint schnapps and hot chocolate as well as a sixer of guiness. I'm set! AND the temperature is supposed to stay way down all the way thru christmas.

*happy sigh*

helitack · Post by **helitack** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 5:35 pm

Hey, there is some of Sput's fishnet strained hootch left, anyone?

gigglesnort · Post by **gigglesnort** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 5:37 pm

ahh! kids tucked in, just popped the top on a nice stout guinness, YUM! I'll pass on the other, heli, but I've got plenty of this to share.

sputnik · Post by **sputnik** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 5:38 pm

I'm just heading out for the evening. Pass me that shit.

helitack · Post by **helitack** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 5:39 pm

Room temp Guinness?

gigglesnort · Post by **gigglesnort** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 5:40 pm

but of course.

helitack · Post by **helitack** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 5:41 pm

I'll take one, thanks!

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 5:41 pm

Reminded me of when I was home, back East, several years ago. My dad was in hospice and I was running his business. It started snowing and by about 3pm I was getting worried that I might not make it to my cabin about 10 miles outside of town on a county road that gets plowed when they get around to it. As I locked the shop door and was walking toward my truck I stopped and watched. This little town that I had gone to school in first and second grade ... dead silent. Not a car anywhere, nothing. Then I realized what a culture change had happened. This was the start of what was going to turn out to be the Blizzard of '96 ... two back-to-back snowstorms leaving 5 feet of snow on the ground ... and there wasnt a SINGLE kid outside playing! Not ONE! I heard not a single shout, not a single sled, nothing. Dead silence as they were all inside with their video games and internet and I felt sad for them. They have no idea what they are missing. Our parents would have to BEG is to come in or bribe us with hot chocolate just so we didn't get frostbite and you can't get these kids outside if you try.

gigglesnort · Post by **gigglesnort** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 5:46 pm

Ha! How eery strange, geekie. People can't keep themselves from being out in it here I guess cause it is such an EVENT. People all want to start helping each other....strangers in the street waiting for someone to get stuck on their hill, ready with a friendly push or a word of encouragement.

I did have to bribe my youngest to come in, w just that.....hot chocolate! Tomorrow, lord help me keep hte mittens rotating and the wet clothes drying! I'm already pledged to get the snowman started. And nobody here has winter clothes, really, so everyone is so rag-taggled and in a thousand layers.

cowboyangel · Post by **cowboyangel** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 5:52 pm

Hi bar denizens! I just realized that I look like a Christmas tree! (full of Jägermeister)

helitack · Post by **helitack** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 5:53 pm

Funny, I thought you looked like Gumby in drag.

cowboyangel · Post by **cowboyangel** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 5:56 pm

Ya Gumby! I gotta show you my one-of-a-kind "scumby" t-shirt one of these days...If 6 people ask me right now I'll go and take a pic of it right now and post it!..Jäger please?

helitack · Post by **helitack** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 5:57 pm

Here's your Jaeger, mister

helitack · Post by **helitack** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 5:58 pm

And I think I'll fire up the hot tub, maybe someone without an adams apple will want the ol back rub thing,

gigglesnort · Post by **gigglesnort** » Wed Dec 22, 2004 6:06 pm

Oooh! I'm game! Back rub in the hot tub would be lovely, thanks.

I thought I wasn't making it home a couple times earlier today. What a load of stress that is, with three teeny little girls with inadequate clothing for a long trek in such elements oblivious to the harshness of Madam Nature, how she does not give a fuck if you make it home today or not, depending completely upon me. I've got no one to call for help! What would I have done wo my angels helping me along!

Oooh, I think all that bullshit came up in a knot right *here* get it heli! That's right......rub deeper.......