Idle Chat Thread

samtzu · Post by **samtzu** » Fri Dec 24, 2004 7:24 am

I had a dream last night. In it, I was trying to get to a very good place. I was traversing along an open landscape when men with shotguns appeared. They were rednecks, each one a deputy sheriff, and they were using the "I'm-the-law-so-I-can-do-what-I-want" routine, and were firing off the shotguns right next to me, trying to scare me and make me give up my journey. I inched along, trying not to upset them to the point where they could have a 'legal' reason to actually blast parts off of my body, while still trying to make forward progress, but every time I would move forward, another 'deputy' would stick a long barrell along side of a body part and shoot, just missing me. This went on for a long time. I was getting angry, but I was not going to let them stop me, because I had somewhere that I needed to go.

I woke up (about 2:30 in the morning) with a deep feeling of anger at the injustice that they were practicing on me. I knew instantly what the dream meant, and it made me even more angry, and more determined to get to where I am going in life. These deputies are the deputies of 'Fate' (God, the Furies, whatever) and they are trying to prevent me on my path towards understanding and 'enlightenment' (whatever that means!) and I refuse to let them stop me. FUCK THAT! I have a goal to reach, and no foggy, unjust, powerful, invisible, force of nature is going to keep me from it. I don't care if it takes several more life times to reach this goal, fuck it... I'm going!!

I hate injustice, I hate bullies, and I especially hate sneaky, lying, bullying unseen forces that keep people from realizing their dreams. This may seem like cop-out to some, a wierd way of viewing things so that "I" am not responsible for where I am in life, but I've seen this shit all my life and the lives of others, and this has formed my perception of the world. I have seen people get the living shit kicked out of them (even to the point of death) who didn't deserve it, and others get the world stuffed into their pockets who didn't deserve it. Saying, "Well, that's just the way it is and there's nothing you can do about it." doesn't cut it for me. Neither does, "Just work hard, keep your nose clean, and you'll succeed."

Anyway... that is my thought for the day... and the rest of my life...

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Fri Dec 24, 2004 12:13 pm

A little amusing thing I happened to find on the web today ... thught I'd share.

Killed By Microsoft Bob

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MICROSOFT TESTER DIES TRAGICALLY AT HANDS OF "PAL"
REDMOND, Wa - The Microsoft Redmond Campus was rocked by tragedy today as Paul Fitzgerald, Test Engineer on the Windows NT Team, was brutally murdered in an apparently psychotic tirade by one of the "personalities" of Microsoft's latest operating system shell program, Bob. In the small hours of this morning, Java, the "friendly" coffee-drinking dinosaur, burst from the screen of Fitzgerald's computer, cutting a swath of destruction throughout the hapless worker's office and into the accompanying hallway.
The beast was quickly subdued by Microsoft Campus Security upon failing to produce a valid Microsoft keycard, avoiding what could otherwise have been a tragedy of much greater proportions. He is currently undergoing psychiatric evaluation at the Washington Institute for Perfectly Valid Lifeforms Who in the Heat of the Moment Do Some Absolutely Naughty Things. Says Lars Opstad, chief spiritual healer and concert pianist, "It's touch and go right now. I don't think Java yet realizes the immensity of what he's done."

Eyewitnesses say that they could hear the stegosaur-like computer guide screaming "All I wanted was a GOOD espresso" in those terrible moments before dawn. Said Rover Retriever, another Bob personality, "This is just terrible. Java was always such a great guy. Sure, he was a little high strung, but I can't believe he would do something like this. I think we need to seriously re-examine the stress that the Bob Personality group is under so that another such incident doesn't occur."

A possible precipitant to the incident could be Java's recent attempt to quit smoking as a result of a clause in his contract. Lawyers are examining whether this constitutes a violation of discriminatory hiring statutes on Microsoft's part. Microsoft Legal could not be reached for comment, but an undisclosed source asserted, "We couldn't have him puffing away like that. He's a dinosaur, not a dragon. It would confuse the market."

Coroner's reports say Fitzgerald died instantly of cardiac arrest, but are unclear on whether this was a result of the vicious attack or the fact that Bob installed successfully on NT.

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Fri Dec 24, 2004 5:00 pm

No shit, this is for real ... it is a real picture of a fellow burner's brain.

Hey, HE put it on the web ...

gigglesnort · Post by **gigglesnort** » Sun Dec 26, 2004 1:46 pm

The snow in arkansas recedes like a dream.....patches left in shady spots and corners, and the forecast calls for a high of 72 (crazy arkansas weather!) on new year's eve.

gigglesnort · Post by **gigglesnort** » Wed Dec 29, 2004 1:15 pm

I'm......gonna......GETCHA!

samtzu · Post by **samtzu** » Wed Dec 29, 2004 3:30 pm

Romanian, 67, pregnant with twins
Romanian doctors say a 67-year-old woman is seven months pregnant with twin girls after fertility treatment. If the pregnancy comes to full term, it is believed that Adriana Iliescu, an author and academic, will become the oldest recorded mother.

Mrs Iliescu told local television she had always wanted to be a mother but had been unable to conceive naturally. She says she is optimistic about her future as a mother, claiming her family has a history of longevity.

Last year, a 65-year-old Indian woman gave birth to a boy.

Schoolteacher Satyabhama Mahapatra from Nayagarh in Orissa had been impregnated with an egg from her 26-year-old niece that had been fertilised by her husband.

It was the first child for Ms Mahapatra and her husband who had been married for 50 years.

Finding new ways to overpopulate the planet, humanity takes another giant leap backwards...

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed Dec 29, 2004 3:35 pm

Romania. Oh god, like they don't have a hidious orphan issue anyway. Oh well, that was a decade and a half ago. . .

I'm getting old.

samtzu · Post by **samtzu** » Wed Dec 29, 2004 3:44 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:Romania. Oh god, like they don't have a hidious orphan issue anyway. Oh well, that was a decade and a half ago. . .

I'm getting old.

The other lady was in India... Hey! Just what they need, right?

I'm still waiting on word from Somalia...

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Wed Dec 29, 2004 4:04 pm

Maybe if the Romanian Army launched a Somalian nuke from India into China .... nah, nevermind.

gigglesnort · Post by **gigglesnort** » Thu Dec 30, 2004 8:21 am

.....scribbling on a clipboard just reminded me of Larry the Cucumber singing "I love my Lips" while lying on a couch talking to a therapist (Silly Songs with Larry from Veggie Tales, christian bent animation for kids (scrunches nose) but mostly just basic stuff like share, help your neighbor, etc, and with a fantastic sense of humor)......

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Thu Dec 30, 2004 8:23 am

gigglesnort wrote:.....scribbling on a clipboard just reminded me of Larry the Cucumber singing "I love my Lips" while lying on a couch talking to a therapist (Silly Songs with Larry from Veggie Tales, christian bent animation for kids (scrunches nose) but mostly just basic stuff like share, help your neighbor, etc, and with a fantastic sense of humor)......

if my lips ever left my mouth
packed a bag and headed south
i'd be so sad....

if my lips said 'toodle-oo!
i think you're gross i don't like you...'

gigglesnort · Post by **gigglesnort** » Thu Dec 30, 2004 8:24 am

that'd be too bad....I might get mad.....

(therapist) I see, so what you're saying is.......

gigglesnort · Post by **gigglesnort** » Thu Dec 30, 2004 8:27 am

Narrator: "One day while talking with Dr. Archibald, Larry confronts one of his deepest fears ..."
Larry: "If my lips ever left my mouth, packed a bag and headed south, that'd be too bad, I'd be so sad."

Archibald: "I see. That'd be too bad, you'd be so sad?"

Larry: "That'd be too bad. If my lips said "adios, I don't like you I think you're gross," that'd be too bad, I might get mad."

Archibald: "That'd be too bad, you might get mad?"

Larry: "That'd be too bad. If my lips moved to Duluth, left a mess and took my tooth, that'd be too bad, I'd call my Dad."

Archibald: "That'd be too bad, you'd call your Dad?"

Larry: "That'd be too bad."

Archibald: "Hold it. Did you say your father? Fascinating! So what you're saying is that if your lips left you ..."

Larry: "That'd be too bad, I'd be so sad, I might get mad, I'd call my Dad. That be too bad."

Archibald: "That'd be to bad?"

Larry: "That'd be too bad."

Archibald: "Why?"

Larry: "Because I love my lips." [Scatting]

Archibald: "Oh my ... This is more serious than I thought. Larry, tell me, what do you see here?"

Larry: "Um, that looks like a lip."

Archibald: "And this?"

Larry: "It's a lip!"

Archibald: "And this?"

Larry: "It's a lip, it's a lip, it's a lip lip lip! It's a lip, it's a lip, it's a lip lip lip! It's a lip, it's a lip, it's a lip lip lip. Liiiiiiiiiiiips. Lip lip lip."

Archibald: "Larry, tell me about your childhood."

Larry: "When I was just two years old I left my lips out in the cold and they turned blue. What could I do?"

Archibald: "They turned blue, what could you do?"

Larry: "Oh they turned blue. On the day I got my tooth I had to kiss my Great Aunt Ruth. She had a beard ... and it felt weird."

Archibald: "My, my. She had a beard and it felt weird?"

Larry: "She had a beard. Ten days after I turned eight, got my lips stuck in a gate. My friends all laughed. And I just stood there until the fire department came and broke the lock with a crow bar and I had to spend the next six weeks in lip rehab with this kid named Oscar who got stung by a bee - right on the lip - and we couldn't even talk to each other until the fifth week because both our lips were so swollen, and when he did start speaking he just spoke Polish and I only knew like three words in Polish except now I know four because Oscar taught me the word for lip: Usta!"

Archibald: "Your friends all laughed ... Usta? How do you spell that?"

Larry: "I don't know."

Archibald: "So what you're saying is that when you were young ..."

Larry: "They turned blue, what could I do? She had a beard and it felt weird. My friends all laughed ... Usta!"

Archibald: "I'm confused ..."

Larry: "I love my lips!" [Scatting]

Narrator: "This has been Silly Songs with Larry. Tune in next time to hear Larry say ..."

Larry: "Have I ever told you how I feel about my nose?"

Archibald: "Oh, look at the time!"

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Thu Dec 30, 2004 8:27 am

I LOVE MY LIPS!!

beedibopbop bop beedibopbow...

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Thu Dec 30, 2004 8:29 am

oh where is my hairbrush?

dude, GS, you can use that scene for something on playa. it fits... kind of...

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Thu Dec 30, 2004 8:47 am

samtzu wrote:
theCryptofishist wrote:Romania. Oh god, like they don't have a hidious orphan issue anyway. Oh well, that was a decade and a half ago. . .

I'm getting old.
The other lady was in India... Hey! Just what they need, right?

[hidiously bad taste]well maybe the population needs boosting right now[/hidiously bad taste]

gigglesnort · Post by **gigglesnort** » Wed Jan 05, 2005 11:15 am

The temperature literally just dropped fifteen degrees in five minutes........arkansas weather.

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Wed Jan 05, 2005 9:51 pm

i am at war with myself
lay open this mind
while clenching fists

dragging caveman
with song

your love of me
my love of you
dare we take repose

each others arms
a comfort
happy moments
borrowed/repaid
instantly

i am in mortal fear
everything leaves me
alone upon this earth

should i plant a flag
atop climbed mountain
as though to say
it is mine

then leave/be left
as was known would be

truth alone does stay

from my hand destruction
nothing more to say

SMILE
LOTS

paps · Post by **paps** » Wed Jan 05, 2005 10:05 pm

checking medical records
hoping for reason
glad syphilis

amnesia · Post by **amnesia** » Wed Jan 05, 2005 10:11 pm

happy hemorage
grasping stems though not to hold
bury face pussy

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Wed Jan 05, 2005 10:14 pm

is that a period piece
luscious fully
resting chin in hands

paps · Post by **paps** » Wed Jan 05, 2005 10:18 pm

i medical freak
they just laugh it up
burning cause wine bottle cork

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Wed Jan 05, 2005 10:33 pm

cup warm breathed fingertips
come alive your scent
knowing you again

Rabbi Dali Rick · Post by **Rabbi Dali Rick** » Sat Jan 08, 2005 7:10 am

Rain Rain Rain Rain Rain

repeatedly again,
rebbi rebbi rebbi rebbi

Sensei · Post by **Sensei** » Sat Jan 15, 2005 3:54 pm

freezing slurpy rain
slushy clear yet blue with chill
big gulp o' weather

amnesia · Post by **amnesia** » Sat Jan 15, 2005 8:23 pm

Within the week, my freind?

I saw your face & laughed & laughed
because instantly I knew where I really Am.

I am sorry I left
to tend unfinished
business
which does not
even exist

It seems I made a dream
& in it thought all the world

May I never forget Love is not fickle,
Love is True.

Please make the way clearly shown

(for I am a fool)

Brambles on either side,
smooth in the middle
that the way be clearly shown.

paps · Post by **paps** » Sat Jan 15, 2005 8:58 pm

I read once that when lost,
it is not advisable to panic, but to be calm.

You will still be exactly where you were
a few steps away from the path
instead of running willy-nilly
through the wood bonking trees and stuff.

~feels self up, relaxes~

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Sat Jan 15, 2005 9:03 pm

how thorough the wood
bonking trees willy nilly
in the night found

blueniteowl · Post by **blueniteowl** » Sun Jan 16, 2005 12:27 am

The word of the day is: puttanesca
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: a type of tomato sauce including anchovies, garlic, and olives, used esp. on pasta
Etymology: Italian puttana `prostitute'
Usage: cooking

Rabbi Dali Rick · Post by **Rabbi Dali Rick** » Sun Jan 16, 2005 10:26 am

The feeling of the day is: fear
Part of the Flight/fight Response: adj.
Definition: When something just doesn't feel right, or it reminds you of the moment right before the girl gets killed and eaten in the movie.
Etymology: Little boy pissing in the corner of everybody's rear windshield.
Usage: Strike the fear o' God in yo' Ass.

pontificationally,
the rebbi

Idle Chat Thread

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