Things That Make You Wonder

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Thu Dec 30, 2004 2:44 pm

if not, try this!

http://www.feathersite.com/Poultry/Turk ... idget.html

Rob the Wop · Post by **Rob the Wop** » Thu Dec 30, 2004 3:02 pm

Rian Jackson wrote:if not, try this!

http://www.feathersite.com/Poultry/Turk ... idget.html

Oh my God. Talk about inappropriate wording (or appropriate). On the picture it says,
My White Midget hen "Mint" with a standard Dorking hen for size comparison

OK.
One question.
What does a farmer do with a Dorking hen?
Thought so.
Told you not to post porn.

Rob the Wop · Post by **Rob the Wop** » Thu Dec 30, 2004 3:07 pm

Farmer's thoughts:

"Hmmmmm. Dork the hen or choke the chicken. Dork the hen or choke the chicken. Descisions, descisions."

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Thu Dec 30, 2004 3:08 pm

those cheerful folks at WebMD wrote:# A bleeding or clotting disorder, such as hemophilia, von Willebrand's disease, thrombocytopenia, or a less common bleeding or clotting disorder.
# Other medical conditions that affect clotting, such as an infection or nutritional deficiency.

Other options include lupus and luekemia.

If it's new, definately call a doctor. If it's not, you may want to mention it at your next physical.

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Thu Dec 30, 2004 3:13 pm

i really don't think it's warranted, but thanks guys.

if i start dying i'll think about a doc.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Thu Dec 30, 2004 3:15 pm

Okay, okay, I married a medic--and started thinking this way.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Thu Dec 30, 2004 3:16 pm

Does anyone else who works in an office building get "Umbrella Condoms" on rainy days?
And do you think it's wierd?
(YEs, I know--less water on slippery floors, but it's still wierd.)

tonytohono · Post by **tonytohono** » Thu Dec 30, 2004 3:18 pm

CoworkerLurker wrote:
Rob the Wop wrote:How can you possibley get bruised during necrophelia? I mean, it's not like they move all that much...
Yeah, but that rigor mortis is a bitch.

Rigor mortis passes as muscular decomposition begins. So 24 to 36 hours after RM sets in, the (dead) body is once again totally flaccid.

Rob the Wop · Post by **Rob the Wop** » Thu Dec 30, 2004 3:26 pm

tonytohono wrote:
CoworkerLurker wrote:
Rob the Wop wrote:How can you possibley get bruised during necrophelia? I mean, it's not like they move all that much...
Yeah, but that rigor mortis is a bitch.
Rigor mortis passes as muscular decomposition begins. So 24 to 36 hours after RM sets in, the (dead) body is once again totally flaccid.

Well yah.

I learned that one from my Fucking Corpses for Dummies book.

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Thu Dec 30, 2004 3:36 pm

hey, that was my first car!!

samtzu · Post by **samtzu** » Thu Dec 30, 2004 3:45 pm

Never done it either in a Midget or to a midget... nor have I dorked a turkey...

Jesus, what a boring life I've led...

Rob the Wop · Post by **Rob the Wop** » Thu Dec 30, 2004 3:49 pm

samtzu wrote:Never done it either in a Midget or to a midget... nor have I dorked a turkey...

Jesus, what a boring life I've led...

You shtupped Jesus. Wow. Woodrow is a god.

samtzu · Post by **samtzu** » Thu Dec 30, 2004 3:58 pm

Rob the Wop wrote:
samtzu wrote:Never done it either in a Midget or to a midget... nor have I dorked a turkey...

Jesus, what a boring life I've led...
You shtupped Jesus. Wow. Woodrow is a god.

Shtupped Him?! I gave him his bris!

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Thu Dec 30, 2004 3:59 pm

even better, woodrow did jesus while sam was making out with satan.

samtzu · Post by **samtzu** » Thu Dec 30, 2004 4:03 pm

Rian Jackson wrote:even better, woodrow did jesus while sam was making out with satan.

Yeah, it was one kinky three-way

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Thu Dec 30, 2004 4:04 pm

samtzu wrote:
Rian Jackson wrote:even better, woodrow did jesus while sam was making out with satan.
Yeah, it was one kinky three-way

Good thing it didn't involve the entire wholey trinity.

samtzu · Post by **samtzu** » Thu Dec 30, 2004 4:13 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:
samtzu wrote:
Rian Jackson wrote:even better, woodrow did jesus while sam was making out with satan.
Yeah, it was one kinky three-way
Good thing it didn't involve the entire wholey trinity.

That was later, when I got the "Ghost" job...

... I feel the flames of Hell curling up around me...

Rob the Wop · Post by **Rob the Wop** » Thu Dec 30, 2004 4:14 pm

samtzu wrote: ... I feel the flames of Hell curling up around me...

Funny, they look like fluffy kittens to me.

4FKotA · Post by **4FKotA** » Thu Dec 30, 2004 4:20 pm

That's right, Sam... how about a furball up your ass... you might like it?
PRRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRP!?

samtzu · Post by **samtzu** » Thu Dec 30, 2004 4:24 pm

... fucking cats...

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Thu Dec 30, 2004 4:24 pm

You do realize that those kittens are the rejects from a pet cat cloning. Kitty #5 is alive and well and as the chosen one, completely free from neuroses and meglomania.

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 1:42 pm

I wonder why the makers of these negative pages made it al-most-im-pos-sib-le to to put negatives in the middle two openings. don't they test these damn things before they decide their product is complete? or is it just a lack of QC?

further, i wonder why my damn neighbor doesn't shut her kitchen window. 1:28 am, January 1, 2005, there was a paw on my forhead and a mewing in my ear. so, yeah, it's a little strange that my addled brain thought it was nipper at first, but....

samtzu · Post by **samtzu** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 1:50 pm

Rian Jackson wrote:....further, i wonder why my damn neighbor doesn't shut her kitchen window. 1:28 am, January 1, 2005, there was a paw on my forhead and a mewing in my ear. so, yeah, it's a little strange that my addled brain thought it was nipper at first, but....

Why don't you get one of those electric bug zappers and put it in your window? That would probably disuade the cat from waltzing in...

... either that, or just close your damn window... just a thought...

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 1:55 pm

RCA nipper?

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 2:24 pm

sam, you've been to my place. you ought to know that the opening of the kitchen window is completely necessary to hold up the dish drainers for which there is no room anywhere else in the kitchen because of the size of the space.

and fishie - huh? is this another thing i'm oblivious to because pop culture is so foreign to me? whatcha talkin about?

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 2:32 pm

Rian Jackson wrote:and fishie - huh? is this another thing i'm oblivious to because pop culture is so foreign to me? whatcha talkin about?

HIs Master's Voice

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 2:35 pm

i can think of a few things this might mean... but probably none of them...

oh, the public humiliation.
it'll never end until i decide to follow britney and justin timberlake and enjoy boy bands and....

GuinivereElise · Post by **GuinivereElise** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 2:37 pm

no, Rian... this is old culture... RCA records, that sort of thing. Think Buster Brown shoes...

the Dog from the RCA label's name is Nipper....

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 2:37 pm

oh i get it! there's link! (i think that red stuff is still slowing me down. i need more)

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 2:38 pm

..and no, not that Nipper.