do you think i'm oversexed?

gabegirl · Post by **gabegirl** » Sun Sep 21, 2003 1:15 pm

I've just been sweating over this one myself (the polygamy thing, not sex with cats). P/S, it sounds to me like you already have what you want. if he's saying he doesn't want or need to know as long as it doesn't affect your relationship with him, then...? Safe sex should take care of any practical concerns. I myself would definitely be flowing with a lovely young man I got to know at BM too if it weren't for the knife in my girlfriend's heart. As for Chimp's two bits, I know, I know. I just can't.

Kinetic · Post by **Kinetic** » Sun Sep 21, 2003 2:19 pm

Polygamy/ polyamory, whatever....another reason why I hate living in the Midwest, the buckle of the bible belt. And the buckle never gets used.

gabegirl · Post by **gabegirl** » Sun Sep 21, 2003 3:28 pm

ok, polyamory then.. sheesh! And that whole midwestern deal only seemed to work out for the "men", right? Yeah, shitty deal..

antron · Post by **antron** » Sun Sep 21, 2003 8:59 pm

TestesInSac wrote:dogs don't taste good with peanut butter.

they do taste good with mustard, onions and relish, tho.

Chimp · Post by **Chimp** » Mon Sep 22, 2003 3:28 am

Gabegirl wrote "I know, I know, I just can't."

Oh yes you can.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Sep 22, 2003 9:43 am

attydog wrote:Open relationships are bulllshit...... 'open' relationships fail.

The problem with most open relationships is that they aren't. Someone holds something back. Sex with a whole bunch of people has nothing inherently going against it. Neither does a whole hell of a lot of sex.

Even besides sex, it's when people in a relationship aren't being honest that shit ensues.

Still.... thinking of ...."girls-gone-wild-out-of-control-throw-myself-at-anything-with-a-pulse type of behavior"...well yeah, that would make anyone wonder. But that might not be about sex. That might be an adrenaline rush there. I know I'm getting one just thinking about it:) !

precipitate · Post by **precipitate** » Mon Sep 22, 2003 1:13 pm

> Sardines are disgusting.

Spicy fish on a cracker. Mmmmmm.

Off to eat some squid jerky for an afternoon snack.

gabegirl · Post by **gabegirl** » Mon Sep 22, 2003 3:00 pm

Chimp wrote: Oh yes you can

Well, sure, I could, but then I'd feel all guilt-ridden. I'd rather just be honest. Informed consent is what I'm going for here, ya cheatin' bastard..

Chimp · Post by **Chimp** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 3:21 am

Never said I cheated, just in reality that people, literally all people, do

BTW - Fuck Guilt

you are here and then you are gone, doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, no point beating yourself up over shit that happened in the heat of any particular moment, chances are whoever you are with will have acted the same way at some point - Simply suggesting one should accept that as fact.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 7:07 am

couldn't disagree more, Chimp... the choicest we make are *all* that we have, and therefore (in my opinion) infinitely important.

OregonRed · Post by **OregonRed** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 8:54 am

Chimp said

Never said I cheated, just in reality that people, literally all people, do

I think that you need to clarify some here. Almost everyone has cheated on a partner at one time. However, for most people, this is not the way that thier relationships work. I cheated on my ex-husband after he proved to me that he was gonna fuck any woman that was willing, and beat up on me in the process. (One of the men I cheated with helped me find the strength to leave him, but that relationship ended when I realized that he had as many problems, if not more, than my ex-husband.)

In my current relationship, I have not EVER cheated. Not in four years, and I don't see myself doing it in the future. When I cheated on my ex, it made me feel like shit, even though he deserved it. I haven't cheated in a relationship since, because of how bad it made me feel before, not what it did to anyone else. I don't think that it was a guilt thing in the way most people think of it, either. To this day, I feel completely justified in cheating on my ex, however I do feel like I let myself down in allowing myself to get so unhappy that cheating was my escape.

I did agree with one thing you said...FUCK GUILT.

blyslv · Post by **blyslv** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 9:09 am

TestesInSac wrote:I'll take the sardines 'cause dogs don't taste good with peanut butter.

Cats, because they taste a little like pork, go very well with peanut butter. It's even more interesting, because at the time I ate it I didn't know what it was.

Rob the Wop · Post by **Rob the Wop** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 9:15 am

IMO, cheating is for the young. If you're still cheating on folks after you've grown up- you need to realize that you shouldn't be in a monogamous relationship. Or leave whoever you are with. Cheating is nothing more than dishonesty on a more emotionally pain-inflicting level. It's better off staying away from people who cheat as this won't be the only outlet for their dishonesty. Cheating as a response to another's cheating is revenge, and has a different flavor.

Guilt is the by-product of having a conscience, and therefore can be a good thing. It's the conscience wiring in your individual head that can be wrong. If you feel guilty for masturbating, you don't need that kind of guilt. If you feel guilty for running over your neighbor's kid, you should. Otherwise the streets would be lined with the corpses of people that piss you off.

Chimp · Post by **Chimp** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 9:31 am

Cheating is for the young? Growing Up? Divorce Rates? Adultery?

BTW - Yes Oregon Red, indeed let us say it again

Fuck guilt in the ass!!!!

nymphgonebad · Post by **nymphgonebad** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 9:40 am

Chimp wrote:Fuck guilt in the ass!!!!

only if you join me, babe. i've had this seriously unfulfilled d.p. fantasy for the longest time now....

sorry, thought this was a pm. easy to get confused with all these hormones screaming in my brain.

thanks red, for that clarification. let's take it a step further, shall we?

it's not cheating when:

-you have an agreement
-when your partner breaks the contract
-when it's cyber sex

please feel free to flesh out this list, folks.

for the record, i've never cheated. ever. and don't plan to. ever.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 9:52 am

Raising the temperature about 30 degrees, princess strych-9 wrote: only if you join me, babe. i've had this seriously unfulfilled d.p. fantasy for the longest time now....

Yowza! With that avatar I doubt you'd have much trouble getting volunteers for that fantasy. Of course, since you don't cheat (good on ya), I guess your SO would have to be okay with it too.

To add something other than my own libido to this thread:

She also wrote:It's not cheating when it's cyber sex

This one has always interested / perturbed me. Cyber / phone sex seems to me like cheating in will, if not in flesh. Is that better? Would I be okay with the idea of my wife having cyber sex with someone else?

nymphgonebad · Post by **nymphgonebad** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 9:55 am

only one way to find out.

your phone is ringing.....

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 9:59 am

princess strych-9 wrote:your phone is ringing.....

ah but for whom does the bell toll?

nymphgonebad · Post by **nymphgonebad** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 10:05 am

karmic marshmellow wrote:
princess strych-9 wrote:your phone is ringing.....
ah but for whom does the bell toll?

ask not, ya fuckin noob! it tolls for all of you.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 10:14 am

Trying to knock some sense into me, princess strych-9 wrote:ask not, ya fuckin noob! it tolls for all of you.

Heh... just wanted to make sure you weren't callin' for my wife. She can't help you with d.p. and I'm pretty sure I *would* mind unless she let me listen in.

nymphgonebad · Post by **nymphgonebad** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 10:22 am

karmic marshmellow wrote:Heh... just wanted to make sure you weren't callin' for my wife. She can't help you with d.p. and I'm pretty sure I *would* mind unless she let me listen in.

sorry i didn't make that clearer - it was three way conferencing i was referring to.

III · Post by **III** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 10:22 am

>it's not cheating when:

> -you have an agreement

i'll buy that.

> -when your partner breaks the contract

the whole "i can be an asshole if you can" thing never really made for good social interactions. revenge sex will undoubtably be better for your partner in crime than for you, and not nearly have the desired effect on your no-longer-so-loved one.

> -when it's cyber sex

huh. for me, it'd depend on whatever agreement you make with your partner. there are few absolutes when it comes to relationships.

i think a much better standard for determining whether a particular activity is cheating is whether your partner objects when you tell them about it.

nymphgonebad · Post by **nymphgonebad** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 10:25 am

oh, and if by saying that she can't help me with my dp fantasy, you are referring to her lack of penis, i can assure you she doesn't need one. you think i was kidding about that strap-on? plus, i have some 24 mm acylite love beads.......

Rob the Wop · Post by **Rob the Wop** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 10:41 am

Chimp wrote:Cheating is for the young? Growing Up? Divorce Rates? Adultery?

Age has nothing to do with being an adult by my definition. If you make promises/commitments to people and break them, then you haven't learned that whole "responsibility" thing.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 10:43 am

Further embroiling all of us in her fantasy, princess strych-9 wrote:i can assure you she doesn't need one. you think i was kidding about that strap-on? plus, i have some 24 mm acylite love beads.......

The wonders never cease.

Alas I also have never cheated on my beloved, nor do I have any intention of doing so. And our agreement (by almost any measure) precludes me from participating in your fantasy, except perhaps by getting you to talk about it enough to draw in more-available participants. :-)

I hope you find an agreeable way to fulfill your fantasies. It's what I would wish for all of us!

Last Real Burner · Post by **Last Real Burner** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 11:09 am

Geoffrey Eel wrote:I'm er FUCKIN LOST, wheres that er, poisonous fuckin monkeys, cheese anyone got, FUCK, damn it fuckin' dark out here, ow! SHIT - Lookie here has anyone seen MYPIPELIKEFUCKINLYIN'ROUND ANYWHERE, ahhhh, sweet jesus, I just stole this fuckin' lapdancin' laptop, SMOKE WHERE help, is this, you were in the desert right, have you SEEN MY FUCKIN FIDDLE ANYWHERE? AGGGGGGHHHHH I'M A Fuckin' Eel, sex, dogs, here it is , good fiddle agggh WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT CRAWLIN' UP MY LEG!!!!

Around the corner second thread to your left.

thankfully,
mr smith

PJ · Post by PJ » Tue Sep 23, 2003 11:10 am

princess strych-9 wrote:
it's not cheating when:

-you have an agreement
-when your partner breaks the contract
-when it's cyber sex

please feel free to flesh out this list, folks.

You forgot "When it's in an airplane."

Ivy · Post by **Ivy** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 11:41 am

it's not cheating when:

-you have an agreement
-when your partner breaks the contract
-when it's cyber sex

please feel free to flesh out this list, folks.

Personally, I;d have to go with "when you're drunk."

Kinetic · Post by **Kinetic** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 11:45 am

Ivy wrote:
it's not cheating when:

-you have an agreement
-when your partner breaks the contract
-when it's cyber sex

please feel free to flesh out this list, folks.
Personally, I;d have to go with "when you're drunk."

Others will object but I agree with Ivy on this one!

OregonRed · Post by **OregonRed** » Tue Sep 23, 2003 11:47 am

princess strych-9 said

only if you join me, babe. i've had this seriously unfulfilled d.p. fantasy for the longest time now....

Me too...

Then she said

thanks red, for that clarification. let's take it a step further, shall we?

it's not cheating when:

-you have an agreement
-when your partner breaks the contract
-when it's cyber sex

I agree with you on the first point. The third kinda goes hand in hand with the first. If it's part of your agreement, no problem, otherwise...I dunno, It's probably not a good idea...karmic marshmellow had a really good point when he said "How would I feel if my wife did it?"

In my eyes, when a partner breaks the contract, the relationship is over. The trust, which is essential to ANY relationship, has been broken, and once that's happened, nothing is ever the same again. I have known people who have stayed together after a breech of trust of this magnitude, and in all cases the damage to the relationship was irrepairable (sp?)

for the record, i've never cheated. ever. and don't plan to. ever.

Could you be any more groovy?[/quote]