the Red Tent

Tancorix · Post by **Tancorix** » Sat Jan 22, 2005 2:05 pm

*pulling on the bow, ever so slowly, opening the package ever so carefully*Suddenly it jumps out of the box* **B-O-I-N-G**
*To Donita's amazement and pleasure, her eyes gaze upon a brand new 12-inch purple-jelly vibrating dildo!!!!!!!!!!! **

There's a problem here. Take a look at PurpleKoosh's tagline:

Anything purple is mine. Anything else can be dyed or painted.

Donita · Post by **Donita** » Sat Jan 22, 2005 2:11 pm

Well, it's been used now, so I guess it's all mine.

PurpleKoosh · Post by **PurpleKoosh** » Sat Jan 22, 2005 2:13 pm

Donita wrote:Well, it's been used now, so I guess it's all mine.

There's a number of different places I could go with this...but I have an ex-friend who was selling used sex toys on eBay recently, and I just can't get that out of my head.

the scary thing is people were bidding on them....

Tancorix · Post by **Tancorix** » Sat Jan 22, 2005 2:18 pm

I'll give it 50 to 1 odds that most of those toys are heading to "RED" states.

Donita · Post by **Donita** » Sun Jan 23, 2005 11:24 am

**Monkeypoo lifts flap of Red Tent, looks side to side and notices no one inside**

Hmmm...too much time on my hands. All my work is done. Need something to do...

**spots a huge red treasure chest in far corner, walks over to it and lifts the lid**

WOW!!! Dress-up clothes and costumes!!! And they're all RED!!!!!

**fumbles through the soft red material, finds the most perfect beautiful red frock, pulls it over her head, looks in mirror**

Oh, my goodness!!! Am I a Goddess or what??!!! I feel so PRETTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gigglesnort · Post by **gigglesnort** » Sun Jan 23, 2005 6:03 pm

Good grief. This place looks like a parade of midgets and monkeys came through here.

{pushes a broom around the space, tears down 'the fort' and rearranges the couches and pillows, folds the cashmere blanket into a basket, and dumps out the wilting roses}

regynalonglank · Post by **regynalonglank** » Mon Jan 24, 2005 12:33 am

oh, thank you giggly girl, this is just what i need right now. ah...very relaxing indeed.

*sighs contentedly...settling back into cushy wonderfulness*

regynalonglank · Post by **regynalonglank** » Mon Jan 24, 2005 1:12 am

*sings song to self while toasting toes in the fire*

its all green, nobodys seen, breathing a turn thats new
its all a wonderful afterglow understated knowing the next one to seem
hmmm hmm hmmmmm hmm hmmmmm

regynalonglank · Post by **regynalonglank** » Mon Jan 24, 2005 2:47 pm

ah yes, really this is very nice. it might seem like i am doing other things, but really for the next week i will be right here, snuggled up in front of the fire...cool! here's a new book to read...this is alright :)

gigglesnort · Post by **gigglesnort** » Tue Jan 25, 2005 11:34 am

{having whisked the large mason jar away from the bar unawares, giggles sets to work straining the water from the besotted flowers, melts in some dark wildflower honey, and pours into thick ceramic mugs; smiling and nodding at the presence of Miss Long Lanks who appears to be doing other things, but whom I know is really snuggled down by the fire; sips soothing tea}

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Tue Jan 25, 2005 11:38 am

this is an official drama free zone, right GS? can i come in even if i'm only bleeding from my head right now?

please tell me they can't come in and fight here, or i'll ask techno to delete my login, and maybe change my phone number for good measure.

can i have some tea??

gigglesnort · Post by **gigglesnort** » Tue Jan 25, 2005 11:41 am

{smiles and nods, beckons towards the tea, points at hte Magic Door and winks}

Hiya sweet girl! It's so lovely to see your face today, bloody though it be *smooch*

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Tue Jan 25, 2005 11:44 am

thanks honey. i need to stop trying to ever give any spot of advice or comfort or empathy. it just ends in a fucking train wreck. i'm shooting for cutting off all human interactions.

but i met a really nice new friend last night.

and i have feathers from arkansas above my bed. here, i brought them in the tent for today.

how are you? and your kids? and the article, and the lady?

gigglesnort · Post by **gigglesnort** » Tue Jan 25, 2005 11:54 am

The lady believes I am meant to live in Holland, where everybody is happy; she gave me positive criticism with what I wrote and sent to her; and she is going to arrange for me to meet a lakota shaman who has been visiting with her of late. I think all that is really cool. And she knows who will be giving me a ride to the Big Do this summer (wow! I can see that crazy ass circus ticket right atop my desk shelf!!!)

I am basically running on fumes right now, but I feel mostly wonderful and springy and excited. Oooh, adventure.....what will happen next.....

Kids are my controlled chaos, sweet and sour, and mostly healthy; thanks for asking!

And how are you? Is your tea too sweet? I find the daub of extra honey helps when the chamomile steeps that long; strong in a very gentle way.

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Tue Jan 25, 2005 11:58 am

nah, it's lovely babe.

i brought some new pillows, btw, since i am a pillow freak.

holland. well, no. because if you did you'd be even farther away from us, which seems completely unacceptable to me.

ooh, gotta run, more after lunch.

mwah!

you're an angel.

gigglesnort · Post by **gigglesnort** » Tue Jan 25, 2005 12:02 pm

Kumbaya and all that kind of bright shiny stuff, Rian dear. *mwah*

Donita · Post by **Donita** » Sat Jan 29, 2005 4:01 pm

Who comes up with this stuff??

A study at the University of Missouri shows that the type of facial features that a woman finds attractive can differ, depending upon where she is at in her menstrual cycle. For example:

If a woman is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.

If she is menstruating or menopausal, she is more prone to be attracted to a man with scissors jammed in his temple and a bat shoved up his ass while he is on fire.

Lydia Love · Post by **Lydia Love** » Sat Jan 29, 2005 4:51 pm

oh hell, Donita...

you just *killed* me with that.

*smooch*!!

regynalonglank · Post by **regynalonglank** » Sun Jan 30, 2005 10:24 pm

*stirs from spot by fire, reanimated and tears streaming down face from laughing so hard*

oh, that's very very funny. hee.

this has been the longest, longest, so so longest week. fer reals. seriously still here. still. here.

GuinivereElise · Post by **GuinivereElise** » Mon Jan 31, 2005 6:57 am

m'kay.... so, I bled early this month (last week) but for all intents and purposes, I should be bleeding again today... not sure what the body is going to decide to do... but you'd think that I would have my fricken cycle down, since I've been on BC for years now....

maybe I was just picking up wierd hormonal stuff from all of you guys...

knock it off, would ya? I'm trying to maintain a schedule here!

gigglesnort · Post by **gigglesnort** » Mon Jan 31, 2005 7:04 am

I ovulated two days ago. whew, hormones! I wore the beau out yesterday; my body is demanding to be bathed in...... love!

Martiansky · Post by **Martiansky** » Mon Jan 31, 2005 7:44 am

I bet the Beau just hated that huh, Giggles?! teehee!

Donita · Post by **Donita** » Sat Feb 05, 2005 4:02 pm

Re: PMS (very funny)

http://tinyurl.com/4yx2z

Donita · Post by **Donita** » Sun Feb 06, 2005 1:19 pm

**major hotflash** Um, how long is pre-menopause suppose to last? Aren't I too young for this shit? I'm only in my 40's!! *phew*

Silver 2 · Post by **Silver 2** » Sun Feb 06, 2005 4:11 pm

Um, how long is pre-menopause suppose to last?

Your mileage will vary. Having been through it once all the way from 'what the hell?' to hystrorectomy with my ex-wife and more than several years with my (in the following order) friend, girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, friend. I can tell you that it can be all over the board. The Ex was diagnosed as premenopausal at 45 and had a hystrorectomy about 1.5 years later. The friend mentiioned above started hot flashes at 50 and is still fairly clockwork at 53 (still has hot flashes though). Current GF is looking forward to the "end of this bullshit", she is 44.

4 out of 5 of the womenfolk on my mother's side don't get hot flashes, don't get weird, they just peter out starting around 50 and then stop. The other 1/5 start petering out and either get quick hystrorectomies or go nuts. There seems to be no middle ground. By and large they are all lucky in one sense, I didn't even know that women got cramps until I had to spend time with my father's side of the family; took me forever to figure out what they were going on about ( I was either 14 or 15).

Donita · Post by **Donita** » Sun Feb 06, 2005 4:25 pm

I'm getting pretty tired of it myself. It's been going on and off and on and off for the last 3 years. Usually it comes for 2 months, goes away for a month, then comes back. UGH. Doesn't make me crazy (yet), but the hot flashes are brutal every now and then. It's winter and I'm still sleeping with the patio door open and a fan faced towards me all through the night. Thanks for the info. Maybe I'll go to the healthfood store and see if they have anything for the flashes...

PurpleKoosh · Post by **PurpleKoosh** » Sun Feb 06, 2005 5:09 pm

Donita, if you do Usenet at all, the "menobabes" at alt.support.menopause are, from all reports, a fantastic group of people (my Mom hung out there until she was in "full meno-stop," as she put it, and another friend of mine from elsenet is a regular). They'll be able to give you any number of recommendations, most of them useful.

Lydia Love · Post by **Lydia Love** » Sun Feb 06, 2005 5:46 pm

oh goody.

my period *and* teching a show on the same week.

i need chocolate and lots of it.

Flower Express · Post by **Flower Express** » Sun Feb 06, 2005 6:02 pm

{delivery guy enters the bar carrying a vase stuffed with bright red tulips and a golden heart shaped box of godiva chocolates}

Delivery for Lydia Love!

{note reads: Smile! Zogg loves you!}

Donita · Post by **Donita** » Mon Feb 07, 2005 5:33 pm