With the recent discussion of mimes, I realized that there is actually one of their performances that I don't mind. Right beside "Pulling on a rope", "I'm in a box", and "Walking against the wind" is a far funnier, more obscure one.
"Walking against a truck". I especially like the silent screaming at the end- though the color deviation from the standard black and white is somewhat disturbing. I always thought red was more suitable for clowns.
What have done lately to amuse me?
-
Rob the Wop
- Posts: 1814
- Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2003 4:06 pm
- Location: Furbackistan, OR
- Contact:
Self amusements.
[b]The other, other white meat.[/b]
-
Sandwichman
- Posts: 2121
- Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2004 10:29 pm
- Burning Since: 2004
- Location: Portland OR
- Contact:
Rob, I think I have yet to truly amuse you so here is a half hearted attempt...
For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don’t know.
I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number, and dialed it. A man answered saying, “Hello?”
I politely said, “This is Fred Hanifin, could I please speak with Robin Carter?”
Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn’t believe that anyone could be so rude.
I tracked down Robin’s correct number, and called her (I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number). After hanging up with her, I decided to call the ‘wrong’ number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, “You’re an asshole!” and hung up. I wrote his number down, with the word ‘asshole’ next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I’d call him up and yell, “You’re an asshole!” It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic ‘asshole’ calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, “Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I’m just calling to see if you’re familiar with the caller ID program?” he yelled, “NO!” and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, “That’s because you’re an asshole!”
So, one day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some boy in a black BMW cut me off, and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a “For Sale” sign in his car window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too.
I dialed and someone said, “Hello?”
I said, “Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?”
He said, “Yes, it is.”
I asked, “Can you tell me where I can see it?”
He Answered, “Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It’s a yellow house and the car’s parked right out front.”
“What’s your name?” I asked.
“My name is Don Hansen,” he said.
“When’s a good time to catch you, Don?”
“I’m home every evening after five.”
“Listen, Don, can I tell you something?”
“Yes?”
“Don, you’re an asshole!” Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. But after several months of calling them, it wasn’t as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea: I called Asshole #1.
“Hello”
“You’re an asshole!” (But I didn’t hang up).
“Are you still there?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said.
“Stop calling me,” he screamed.
“Make me,” I said.
“Who are you?” he asked.
“My name is Don Hansen.”
“Yeah? Where do you live?”
“Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house with my black Beemer out front.”
He said, “I’m coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers.”
I said, “Yeah, like I’m really scared, asshole.”
Then I called asshole # 2:
“Hello?” he said.
“Hello Asshole,” I said.
He yelled, “If I ever find out who you are...”
“You’ll what?” I said.
“I’ll kick your ass,” he exclaimed.
I answered, “Well, asshole, here’s your chance. I’m coming over right now.”
Then, I hung up, and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
Then, I called Channel 13 news about the gang war going down on West 34th Street. I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th St. There, I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew.
Now, I feel better.
For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don’t know.
I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number, and dialed it. A man answered saying, “Hello?”
I politely said, “This is Fred Hanifin, could I please speak with Robin Carter?”
Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn’t believe that anyone could be so rude.
I tracked down Robin’s correct number, and called her (I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number). After hanging up with her, I decided to call the ‘wrong’ number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, “You’re an asshole!” and hung up. I wrote his number down, with the word ‘asshole’ next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I’d call him up and yell, “You’re an asshole!” It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic ‘asshole’ calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, “Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I’m just calling to see if you’re familiar with the caller ID program?” he yelled, “NO!” and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, “That’s because you’re an asshole!”
So, one day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some boy in a black BMW cut me off, and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a “For Sale” sign in his car window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too.
I dialed and someone said, “Hello?”
I said, “Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?”
He said, “Yes, it is.”
I asked, “Can you tell me where I can see it?”
He Answered, “Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It’s a yellow house and the car’s parked right out front.”
“What’s your name?” I asked.
“My name is Don Hansen,” he said.
“When’s a good time to catch you, Don?”
“I’m home every evening after five.”
“Listen, Don, can I tell you something?”
“Yes?”
“Don, you’re an asshole!” Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. But after several months of calling them, it wasn’t as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea: I called Asshole #1.
“Hello”
“You’re an asshole!” (But I didn’t hang up).
“Are you still there?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said.
“Stop calling me,” he screamed.
“Make me,” I said.
“Who are you?” he asked.
“My name is Don Hansen.”
“Yeah? Where do you live?”
“Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house with my black Beemer out front.”
He said, “I’m coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers.”
I said, “Yeah, like I’m really scared, asshole.”
Then I called asshole # 2:
“Hello?” he said.
“Hello Asshole,” I said.
He yelled, “If I ever find out who you are...”
“You’ll what?” I said.
“I’ll kick your ass,” he exclaimed.
I answered, “Well, asshole, here’s your chance. I’m coming over right now.”
Then, I hung up, and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
Then, I called Channel 13 news about the gang war going down on West 34th Street. I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th St. There, I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew.
Now, I feel better.
oonsa oonsa for your feets [url=http://www.djjasonphilips.com/mixes/mixes_files/La_musica_que_no_tacara_usted_quiere_que_tio_corte.mp3]click here[/url]
-
Rian Jackson
- Posts: 3903
- Joined: Fri Sep 19, 2003 4:30 pm
- Location: In Rob's Head
-
Sandwichman
- Posts: 2121
- Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2004 10:29 pm
- Burning Since: 2004
- Location: Portland OR
- Contact:
-
Rob the Wop
- Posts: 1814
- Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2003 4:06 pm
- Location: Furbackistan, OR
- Contact:
I forgot all about this. Sometimes random Net surfing pays off. Please file under stupid questions/stupid answer category.
[b]The other, other white meat.[/b]
-
theCryptofishist
- Posts: 40312
- Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:28 am
- Burning Since: 2017
- Location: In Exile
-
Rob the Wop
- Posts: 1814
- Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2003 4:06 pm
- Location: Furbackistan, OR
- Contact:
-
theCryptofishist
- Posts: 40312
- Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:28 am
- Burning Since: 2017
- Location: In Exile
-
Rian Jackson
- Posts: 3903
- Joined: Fri Sep 19, 2003 4:30 pm
- Location: In Rob's Head
-
Lydia Love
- Posts: 1566
- Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2003 8:01 pm
- Location: Seattle
http://rainbow.arch.scriptmania.com/rai ... isode.html
I don't know if this has shown up anywhere around here or not.
I don't care.
It's brilliant.
I don't know if this has shown up anywhere around here or not.
I don't care.
It's brilliant.
It's all about the squirrels.
-
Rob the Wop
- Posts: 1814
- Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2003 4:06 pm
- Location: Furbackistan, OR
- Contact:
Amusement factor = 8.5Lydia Love wrote:http://rainbow.arch.scriptmania.com/rai ... isode.html
I don't know if this has shown up anywhere around here or not.
I don't care.
It's brilliant.
Definitely amused.
[b]The other, other white meat.[/b]
-
Rob the Wop
- Posts: 1814
- Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2003 4:06 pm
- Location: Furbackistan, OR
- Contact:
This one time, on Tribe.
Self-amusement time.
Looking over a posting on the Portland Tribe page, I realized how much the unspoken can change the spin on something. And how lucky folks are that I can't add to a posting on Tribe.
Post:
Location Portland
Who would have thought that life could change so quickly? One moment full of promise and hope, the next full of loss and emptiness.
It's amazing what can happen once certain words have been spoken. It's amazing what those simple words can do to this physical reality.
I don't know how this all happened, but i know that i will be sorry for what we are losing, i will miss what we had for the rest of my life. You were my greatest friend and ally, you were a partner in my life. I never meant to destroy our home or our loving friendship.
I hope that the day comes that we will look at each other with the brotherly love that we once did. I hope that, someday, when you walk in the room, our eyes will find each other instead of the floor.
thank you for your friendship, it was one of the most important things i have ever had the priveledge of experiencing. i will cherish the time that we shared forever and hope for more of that time again.
Thank you for being my best friend, i will never forget
My mental addition:
Those words that changed our relationship?
"I'm getting a restraining order, you psycho..."
Looking over a posting on the Portland Tribe page, I realized how much the unspoken can change the spin on something. And how lucky folks are that I can't add to a posting on Tribe.
Post:
Location Portland
Who would have thought that life could change so quickly? One moment full of promise and hope, the next full of loss and emptiness.
It's amazing what can happen once certain words have been spoken. It's amazing what those simple words can do to this physical reality.
I don't know how this all happened, but i know that i will be sorry for what we are losing, i will miss what we had for the rest of my life. You were my greatest friend and ally, you were a partner in my life. I never meant to destroy our home or our loving friendship.
I hope that the day comes that we will look at each other with the brotherly love that we once did. I hope that, someday, when you walk in the room, our eyes will find each other instead of the floor.
thank you for your friendship, it was one of the most important things i have ever had the priveledge of experiencing. i will cherish the time that we shared forever and hope for more of that time again.
Thank you for being my best friend, i will never forget
My mental addition:
Those words that changed our relationship?
"I'm getting a restraining order, you psycho..."
[b]The other, other white meat.[/b]
-
Rob the Wop
- Posts: 1814
- Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2003 4:06 pm
- Location: Furbackistan, OR
- Contact:
-
Ranger Genius
- Posts: 2408
- Joined: Thu Mar 25, 2004 7:07 am
- Location: Behind the Zion Curtain
- Contact:
Reminds me of another children's book. Not as subtle, but still quite funny.
MAybe you've seen it before, but it was new to me:
"Everyone is different, by Strong Bad"
Flash animation.
MAybe you've seen it before, but it was new to me:
"Everyone is different, by Strong Bad"
Flash animation.
“We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered.”
-
Rian Jackson
- Posts: 3903
- Joined: Fri Sep 19, 2003 4:30 pm
- Location: In Rob's Head
-
Rob the Wop
- Posts: 1814
- Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2003 4:06 pm
- Location: Furbackistan, OR
- Contact:
-
samtzu
- Posts: 3403
- Joined: Thu Apr 01, 2004 5:56 pm
- Location: Portland,OR;Columbia,CA;Emigrant Wilderness
- Contact:
Re: Design for Chunks
Some of those made me sick just to look at them... motivation to use them, eh?Rob the Wop wrote:Whodda thunkit. Amusement factor 7.5
The revolutionary does not grow up because he cannot grow, while the creative individual cannot grow up because he keeps growing ~~ Eric Hoffer
-
cowboyangel
- Posts: 6986
- Joined: Fri May 14, 2004 10:32 pm
ok Rob. I haven't visited here for awhile because I wanted something good to present to you. And so with that I offer
http://www.stare.com
Reinhart is brilliant. Give him a chance.
http://www.stare.com
Reinhart is brilliant. Give him a chance.
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believe is false."- William Casey, CIA Director 1981
-
Sandwichman
- Posts: 2121
- Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2004 10:29 pm
- Burning Since: 2004
- Location: Portland OR
- Contact:
Why is it I see a news story like this and I think immediately that Rob would enjoy reading this--
Man Sues, Says Testicle Wrongly Removed
BAKERSFIELD, Calif. (AP) -- A man is suing an area hospital and one of its surgeons, claiming one of his testicles was wrongly removed during surgery.
Danny Curtis claims Dr. Albert McBride, a surgeon at Kern Medical Center, did not conduct a biopsy before arranging urgent surgery to remove a testicular tumor in July 2004, according to the lawsuit filed in Kern County Superior Court.
Doctors later discovered that the tumor was not malignant and did not need to be removed, according to court documents.
Curtis is asking for an undisclosed amount of money for damages. His age was not immediately available.
The lawsuit claims he "has been caused to sustain severe and permanent physical and emotional injuries, including but not limited to the loss of plaintiff's testicle, as well as residual disfigurement, scarring and pain."
McBride and hospital officials declined to comment to The Associated Press on Thursday, referring all calls to their attorney, Robert Woods. Woods did not immediately return a telephone call.
McBride left his private practice in San Diego to head the urology department at the medical center in 1997. He received his medical degree from George Washington University and previously served as a lieutenant commander on a naval hospital ship stationed in Vietnam.
Source
http://ap.kgw.com/dynamic/stories/T/TES ... HEADS.html
oonsa oonsa for your feets [url=http://www.djjasonphilips.com/mixes/mixes_files/La_musica_que_no_tacara_usted_quiere_que_tio_corte.mp3]click here[/url]
-
theCryptofishist
- Posts: 40312
- Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:28 am
- Burning Since: 2017
- Location: In Exile
-
samtzu
- Posts: 3403
- Joined: Thu Apr 01, 2004 5:56 pm
- Location: Portland,OR;Columbia,CA;Emigrant Wilderness
- Contact:
Or just put in a zipper and he can use it to carry a spare golf ball...theCryptofishist wrote:So wait. He still has one left? Just buy him a neuticle and be done with it.
The revolutionary does not grow up because he cannot grow, while the creative individual cannot grow up because he keeps growing ~~ Eric Hoffer
-
Sandwichman
- Posts: 2121
- Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2004 10:29 pm
- Burning Since: 2004
- Location: Portland OR
- Contact:
If he got small brushes put in the interior he could use it as a golf ball cleaner. Imagine explaining that one to the golf course security.samtzu wrote:Or just put in a zipper and he can use it to carry a spare golf ball...theCryptofishist wrote:So wait. He still has one left? Just buy him a neuticle and be done with it.
Jason
oonsa oonsa for your feets [url=http://www.djjasonphilips.com/mixes/mixes_files/La_musica_que_no_tacara_usted_quiere_que_tio_corte.mp3]click here[/url]
-
theCryptofishist
- Posts: 40312
- Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:28 am
- Burning Since: 2017
- Location: In Exile
-
Rob the Wop
- Posts: 1814
- Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2003 4:06 pm
- Location: Furbackistan, OR
- Contact:
-
Rob the Wop
- Posts: 1814
- Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2003 4:06 pm
- Location: Furbackistan, OR
- Contact:
-
theCryptofishist
- Posts: 40312
- Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:28 am
- Burning Since: 2017
- Location: In Exile
-
Rian Jackson
- Posts: 3903
- Joined: Fri Sep 19, 2003 4:30 pm
- Location: In Rob's Head
-
Rob the Wop
- Posts: 1814
- Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2003 4:06 pm
- Location: Furbackistan, OR
- Contact:
Only one problem. Sheep generally don't have Email addresses.Rian Jackson wrote:Provided you with this
ok, so it's really in honor of GE.
[b]The other, other white meat.[/b]