Good Masturbation Stories

Lust4Life · Post by **Lust4Life** » Wed Sep 24, 2003 12:03 am

Well, someone had to put this up. Sex can only be so entertaining. Let's hear about some self love.

precipitate · Post by **precipitate** » Wed Sep 24, 2003 11:00 am

Uh, isn't that what the spank the monkey thread is about?

blyslv · Post by **blyslv** » Wed Sep 24, 2003 11:18 am

"There's nothing wrong with masturbation, it's just lonely.

Robert Heinlien

Anti Butterfly · Post by **Anti Butterfly** » Sat Nov 29, 2003 1:11 pm

I have sex with angry butterfly all the time.

Smokey · Post by **Smokey** » Sat Nov 29, 2003 5:55 pm

Well, I was in Mexico with a guy freind. we were sharing a room. he brought some girl home one night. She was getting way into it and I hadn't jerked off in like 4 or 5 days. I was trying to sleep but right about the time I would start dozing off I would hear this girl moan, and it was making me horny. I couldn't sleep so that left one thing to do.

I told them I needed quiet time on the balcony. It was actually kinda fun out there, great view of Puerto Villarta, the beach, the mountains, the lightning storm, sitting there with my cock in my hand. I think it took me about 2 minutes to shoot my load. I brought a little rag from the bathroom with me to shoot my wad into, as I was reaching for it, I saw my mango margarita glass from earlier that evening, not quiet empty yet. So I discharged my weapon into the glass and holy shit! I didn't know I could come that much. I jerk off a lot so I normally only get like 3 or 4 good squirts with volume, then a few drips, then thats it. Man, I must have had 9 or 10 full volume squirts before the volume of each shot went down. I think total, I must have fired 15 rounds into the glass. I had no idea I had that much love juice in me!

Needless to say, there was a substantial amount of love potion #9 in the glass, which I placed back on the table.

The next morning, when my friend and I were out on the balcony smoking cigarettes, I asked him if he remembered how I went outside the night before. He was like "yup". I just looked at the glass, so he looks at it and thinks. it was orange on the bottom, and white on top. it took about 4 or 5 seconds and he leaned over the edge and went into dry heaves.

Thats my self love story.

Angry Butterfly · Post by **Angry Butterfly** » Sat Nov 29, 2003 6:00 pm

that's such a good one I'm glad anti brought it back to the top.

G.W.B. · Post by **G.W.B.** » Sat Nov 29, 2003 6:12 pm

I'm impotent. Besides doing it makes you go blind.

Have'nt you Yankees heard. you sinful people. you all are just terrible.

Sinful sinful people.

DE FACTO · Post by **DE FACTO** » Sat Nov 29, 2003 6:18 pm

G.W.B. wrote:I'm impotent. Besides doing it makes you go blind.

Have'nt you Yankees heard. you sinful people. you all are just terrible.

Sinful sinful people.

Hey G.W.B. bend over

Kinetic II · Post by **Kinetic II** » Sat Nov 29, 2003 7:31 pm

<PLONK!>

TawnyGnosis · Post by **TawnyGnosis** » Wed Dec 03, 2003 3:16 pm

I think sometime in my life, I would like to watch a guy really get it on with himself, and not know I was there or be part of it.

I find myself thinking about this fantasy when I am around this man I have an innapropriate crush on. The expression's on his face, the breath catching in his throat, the vulnerability of him being watched doing something so personal. It sounds wonderful to me. The loose expressions of pleasure in his mouth, the rhythym of his body..

I also think that it's wrong how women and masturbation are not really talked about. We do it just as much, but there's still the atiquated notion that it doesn't exist.

I'm not sure that I would discuss my personal habits on the e-playa, but some woman should!

Smokey · Post by **Smokey** » Wed Dec 03, 2003 9:19 pm

TawnyGnosis wrote:I also think that it's wrong how women and masturbation are not really talked about. We do it just as much, but there's still the atiquated notion that it doesn't exist.

Anytime some girl tells me she doesn't masturbate because she can get it whenever she wants I tell call her a lair. Its not about being able to get it. Even when I have a girlfreind or a steady booty call I still masturbate. Its about immediate gratification and satisfaction of urges. Not about weather or not you can find someone to have sex with you. Although after saying that, most of these girls agree with me, but still deny masturbating.

SED · Post by **SED** » Wed Dec 03, 2003 9:31 pm

TawnyGnosis wrote:
I'm not sure that I would discuss my personal habits on the e-playa, but some woman should!

1. Why not, since all you are is a set of flickering pixels, just like the rest of us.

and

2. If not you, who?

TawnyGnosis · Post by **TawnyGnosis** » Thu Dec 04, 2003 1:06 am

I don't deny it for a second, I do it often in fact. More so on vacations and weekends.

I just don't have stories about splooge in cups and such to share.

Mine usually just lasts five minutes, and involves the same fantasy over and over again. Standard really.

I guess the only unusual thing about my masturbation is that I started when I was really really young, as in four or so.

Is that unusual?

BlueBirdPoof · Post by **BlueBirdPoof** » Thu Dec 04, 2003 8:03 am

TawnyGnosis wrote: I guess the only unusual thing about my masturbation is that I started when I was really really young, as in four or so.

Is that unusual?

No. Babies of both sexes masturbate, and apparently they can even have orgasms in the womb. (R. Crumb and Arlene Kominsky Crumb even did a joint comic book adventure about their daughter at age two.)

all of which, gets us back to the original point of needing more info and it would be nice if more people would share their experience here and elsewhere.

(Don't ask me--I posted this from work.)

TawnyGnosis · Post by **TawnyGnosis** » Fri Dec 05, 2003 10:48 am

Yeah I suppose my pysche would be a lot more healthy if I had never had/have a stigma about being a sexual person.

Women are sexual!!!!

PantzookaHQ · Post by **PantzookaHQ** » Sun Feb 29, 2004 3:17 pm

Okay.. just dont donate yer panties to us after you masturbate in them. We heard theres a big market in Japan for them tho.

-Lt Under Wear

jamison · Post by **jamison** » Tue Mar 02, 2004 2:17 pm

[quote="blyslv"]There's nothing wrong with masturbation, it's just lonely.[/quote]

Is there any kind of group masturbation camp? If not, how about "camp circle jerk"

I'm only half kidding, I think a camp dedication to showing that masturbation is healthy and normal, as long as it's done well and tastefully, would be really cool. (the same way that Good Vibrations isn't a porn shop, it's about sexual health)

dragonfly Jafe · Post by **dragonfly Jafe** » Tue Mar 02, 2004 3:14 pm

A few years ago while taking out the trash at night I caught a female neighbor in all her glory through her open bedroom window. Without a doubt the hottest thing I have seen (better than watching a couple go at it for sure). The rythmic motion, intense looks, hair-whipping back-n-forth, and essential femininity of it was like nothing I had witnessed before (but hope to again one day!). The most startling was her chosen position - she was sitting up in her bed (like there was a partner beneath her). Never thought of that as a position of "self love"...

Watching a partner in the same room is not the same. I still feel a little guilty even now (having stopped to watch for a moment), but the window was wide open for all to see and she had her room lights on...

Regards, Jafe

Badger · Post by **Badger** » Tue Mar 02, 2004 7:24 pm

Jamison!

Long time no see...

depros · Post by **depros** » Tue Mar 02, 2004 11:32 pm

ahhh, ahhh, ahhh, OOOOOOOO, whew!
((sshhiitt,, mmyy ffiinnggeerrss kkeepp ssttiicckkiinngg ttoo tthhee kkeeyyss!!))

Bob · Post by **Bob** » Fri Feb 03, 2006 3:56 pm

jamison wrote:Is there any kind of group masturbation camp? If not, how about "camp circle jerk"

Which one isn't?

SED · Post by **SED** » Sat Feb 04, 2006 7:00 pm

A 23 month bump. Must be some kind of record.

cowboyangel · Post by **cowboyangel** » Sun Feb 05, 2006 1:08 am

where's the goddamn Wop with a thread like this?

SED · Post by **SED** » Sun Feb 05, 2006 10:58 am

Maybe shaving his big, hairy man-boobs for his latest kink.

Bob · Post by **Bob** » Sun Feb 05, 2006 5:14 pm

If there's a Ron Wood fan club, I just joined. He must get more groupie sex than any of them put together.

robbidobbs · Post by **robbidobbs** » Tue Feb 07, 2006 11:15 am

I read in a tantrism book that if you can masturbate 3x/day for 3 mths, you will learn more about yourself than believed possible.

I managed 2x/day for 2 mths...mostly because of scheduling and avoiding tissue damage. At the beginning of this adventure, I had one p/t lover. At the end, I had 5. I was on fire.
I learned a lot. I became sexually self-sufficient, and understood what it means to love yourself.
Oh, and I can roll off a spiritual experience in under 3 minutes.

joel the ornery · Post by **joel the ornery** » Tue Feb 07, 2006 1:14 pm

Robbi is my hero.

JediDale · Post by **JediDale** » Tue Feb 07, 2006 9:47 pm

I was telling RobbiDobbs the other day about "Hypnography" by Wendi Friesen. I'ts a VERY INTENSE 3rd person narrative by a well know hypnotist with a great sexy voice! Made my Light Saber make that "Whoosh" Whoosh" sound!! HA! HA!!

Genuinely, Jedi Dale

CagedKitty · Post by **CagedKitty** » Wed Feb 08, 2006 4:01 pm

I'm going to learn how, and next year at burningman I'm going to give out hypnorgasms!

JediDale · Post by **JediDale** » Wed Feb 08, 2006 5:36 pm

I know of a little known technique that does just that. Naturally, I am
bound by my ethical code, so I only do it with consent, and I only teach it to those who will use it responsibly!

Genuinely,

JediDale

Good Masturbation Stories

Good Masturbation Stories

The Force is STRONG with RobbiDobbs!!

I Know Of A Little Known Technique...