The Bar

PurpleKoosh · Post by **PurpleKoosh** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 2:36 pm

buckethead alien wrote:Work day draws to a close on the EC. I see a beer and a video in my immediate future.

Whereas I have to leave for work in another 20 minutes...and I'm desperate for a nap...which I won't get. Le sigh. (And this temp gig is just pissing me right the hell off, too....)

Sandwichman · Post by **Sandwichman** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 2:40 pm

I got a new toy! I got a new toy!

*Doing my happy dance*

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 3:26 pm

Stuart's miracle cure

just remember, it's not a cure, it's a preventative.

<nts, check delivery status of miracle cure for RJ>

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 4:00 pm

Shots!

1
2
3

Sandwichman · Post by **Sandwichman** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 4:01 pm

stuart wrote:Shots!

1
2
3

I am game line them up Stuart. What are we drinking this fine afternoon. I do have a bottle of BarrenJaeger in the freezer.

Jason

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 4:04 pm

well, I have yet to have a jaeger bomb and people keep telling me it's not nearly as disgusting as it sounds.

if not, bourbon

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 4:06 pm

I also had one of these for the first time on Friday and it is my new favorite cocktail

SAND DANCE

45ml Blended Scotch Whisky

30ml Cherry Brandy

60ml Cranberry Juice

Ice

Fill a Highball glass with ice, pour in all the ingredients, stir well.

Sandwichman · Post by **Sandwichman** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 4:11 pm

stuart wrote:I also had one of these for the first time on Friday and it is my new favorite cocktail

SAND DANCE

45ml Blended Scotch Whisky

30ml Cherry Brandy

60ml Cranberry Juice

Ice

Fill a Highball glass with ice, pour in all the ingredients, stir well.

That sounds good.

And I wasn't talking about Jaeger but Barenjaeger. Barenjaeger is a honey liquor that was originally made to incapacitate bears to allow farmers to kill them with ease. It is good shit but I like the drink above it sounds good.

Jason

GuinivereElise · Post by **GuinivereElise** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 4:12 pm

[snuggling head out of the NEB]

[sleepy voice] Hey... when did Stuart come in?? [/sleepy voice]

Sandwichman · Post by **Sandwichman** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 4:13 pm

And while surfing for more info on Barenjaeger my Google search turned up a page from Craigslist that I found appropriate for this bar.....

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/22595700.html

Big Ways to Get A Bartender's Attention!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: [email protected]
Date: Sat Jan 17 04:30:36 2004

1 - Climb onto the bar and wave like an ADHD toddler to get your 5th Ketel (like you can taste the 3 dollar difference, Captain Yupptastic) and Red Bull and revel in your true originality. That wins brownie points. We'll be right there. Can't wait. I'll bring the party hats.

2 - Wave so you knock into other people spilling their drinks. Proclaim it to be the staff's fault because you had to wait until your turn. Pout and piss and moan in a righteous rant using big words like OHMIGAWD and LIKE... Forevahhhh! Because, after all we should be expressive once in awhile.

3 - Glare as though the server is an evil soul coughed up from the very bowels of hell to make you wait and wait and wait, that's right. You must be the only one in the bar currently wanting a drink. Cherish the vendetta building inside you. We all need a hobby, after all.

4 - Smile and follow the bartenders every move like a Carol Brady look alike stalker. This is brilliant strategy, really. The "I need attention above everyone else barbie grin" complete with perfect posture and outstretched drink in hand. You know you get a bunch of these and it is damned creepy. David... Lynch... creepy...

5 - Flirt vapidly with bartender. This is so original because no one ever, ever flirts with the bartender. Never happens E-V-E-R. That's right... They'll truly believe you think that they are quite sexy and hop at the chance of serving your charming and sensual self. Of course they won't assume you want something free or for le$$. Nope, would never imagine that... Go Princess Cupid of otherworldly pheromone action. You are sooooo ahead of everyone else. NOT!

6 - Interupting another person's order with a loud, truck driver sounding -- I'LL HAVE... Yeah, be right there. Oh wait, you want WATER with no ice or 1 freaking LEMON DROP (on a Saturday night when there are 20 people wanting drinks) - yeah, I'll just tell all 20 people waiting forever to fuck off that were ahead of you so I can get sugar all over the bar, cut and squeeze fresh lemons so you can feel all lemony fresh and special and be the first pretty princess with a citrutastic creation made JUST FOR YOU because you are so much more important than everyone else there. No, before you ask we won't take a Discover card for a four dollar sale you DUMB ASS. WTF??

7 - Snap fingers. Unless you want to audition for an improv, human sound group (like stomp) do not snap fingers at bartender ever. Just DON'T do it. Trust me. It's just tasteless. It's like picking your ass in an ice cream shop when a toddler is at eye level. Jeeeesuz.

8 - Slam shot glasses after you have downed a shot in a bar and then wave for more. Now that everything will stick to this surface and my arm and the bar towel and you because you are probably mentally defective in the first place to think slamming glass and sugared fermented liquid is such a joy... such incentive to go down there and lean forward to hear you say in a mumbling, inebretarded voice in my loud bar - I'd liiiiiiike 6 more Jaeger shots. Can you make em' BIG? Why not ask me if they also come in a sippy cup, retard?

9 - Hold credit cards at face level, while impeding my movement because of your pudgy, pallid arm in my way. If we are not looking at you it is because someone really was before you and we are trying to be fair. Your money, Steve Jobs wannabe is secondary to whomever was actually next. Maybe this might occur to you as you drive home swerving past red lights in your fabulous HUMM VEE listening to Justin Timberlake.

10 - When the bartender gets to you and asks you - Hello. What can I get for you? (ready to get anything) sit there and make a whining sound as slowly as humanly possible ~~Emmm, do youuu havvvvvvvve Chartreuse? (proceed to ask for the most bizarre from outer space in a universe far far away things that no regular bar ever has) Barenjaeger? Rumple Mintz? Is it called Rumple Mints? I just don't know. What should I have? No, I don't like that. Ewwwwww... (spends additional 10 minutes conferring with friends who are all wearng the same stretchy pants and low cut strait outta Sex in the City sweater) What about... a pousse caffe? Do you have a blender? What types of wiiiiiiiiiine do you have? What's that like? Is that a sharp red of a sweet one? Is it like White Zinfandelllll? I just can't figure out what to have. No wait! Don't go away! Wait... Wait! I can't believe you were the fastest sperm. Just pick something or let someone go ahead of you. Write a philosophy book! Become useful with your indecision. Freaking incredible!

Argh. Thank you... ranting complete.

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 4:17 pm

I've been waiting for you.

I might have a bit of time this afternoon for LOUD SHENNANIGANS

buckethead alien · Post by **buckethead alien** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 4:21 pm

Rian - I was talking small because GE was still sleeping off her sickies. (See above.)

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 4:22 pm

sorry, didn't know noone was sleeping.

See, I don't catch up here anymore.

Bad, Bad, Bad

GuinivereElise · Post by **GuinivereElise** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 4:23 pm

[jumps up from NEB]

YAY!!!!

DO IT!

buckethead alien · Post by **buckethead alien** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 4:27 pm

I'm only in for a second. Hey there Stuart. Good to see you. What a night it is here - clear, more stars than air, no moon until later.

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 4:40 pm

Cool,

I will make a pitcher of Sand Dances then.

Cheers to all

<thanks for the gemm link Jason>

cowboyangel · Post by **cowboyangel** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 4:43 pm

Molson and Coors?????What's gone wrong with the world?

Sandwichman · Post by **Sandwichman** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 4:48 pm

stuart wrote:Cool,

I will make a pitcher of Sand Dances then.

Cheers to all

<thanks for the gemm link Jason>

Pour them tall my friend.

Gemm is fucking amazing. I found a record I have been looking for that I have wanted to since 1996

Donita · Post by **Donita** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 4:53 pm

Went dancing and drinking last night with the girls.
It's 4:550pm and my hangover has finally gone away.

I am never drinking again.

Oh, wait. I have to go to a party Friday....

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 4:55 pm

I found a couple of things but not the thing my heart desires.

the sasha vs the light remix of Gus Gus' Purple on CD single

sad

t a l l they shall be

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 4:57 pm

I am never drinking again

rookie

ThePikey · Post by **ThePikey** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 5:19 pm

*stumbles into the pub, crawls up onto stool, stares vacantly at the bartop for several seconds*

I just finished reading the entire 'Fuck' thread from beginning to end.

I think I need a goddamn drink...

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 5:21 pm

Jeebus Dude!

have one of these Sand Dances

ThePikey · Post by **ThePikey** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 5:24 pm

Ehrrmmm.... *goes back and looks at last page*

'S got whiskey in it. It'll do.

An' a Guinness, if'n y' please.

sparkletarte · Post by **sparkletarte** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 5:24 pm

Do you get commission on those things Mr. Life Extender?

I'll stick to my water. And chocolate of course. Anyone want some? It's dark chocolate filled with mint nougat, yummers.

Donita · Post by **Donita** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 5:36 pm

stuart wrote:rookie

Thank you, Stuart. You are my best friend today.

I am talking small today because the lights in here are bright.

ThePikey · Post by **ThePikey** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 5:40 pm

*Pikey sees Donita's distress getting a wicked gleam in his eye and puts a cymbal-banging monkey on top of the bar*

*ponders*

*decides to be benevolent and put it back away*

(I have a strong id, but pretty powerful super ego too... probably just as well)

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 5:43 pm

no commisions Velvet. I just want all my eplaya pals to be well and truly trained by august so they can go the distance with me night after night, which turns into morning after morning.

Jeez, haven't you been the benefactor of one my <ahem> other hangover cures?

Donita · Post by **Donita** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 6:01 pm

ThePikey wrote:*Pikey sees Donita's distress getting a wicked gleam in his eye and puts a cymbal-banging monkey on top of the bar*

**Monkeypoo sits perfectly still....mezmerized by the toy monkey...**

GuinivereElise · Post by **GuinivereElise** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 6:07 pm

Stuart, where's my goddamned drink??