Idle Chat Thread

Post by **AntiM** » Sat Feb 12, 2005 1:39 pm

dammit, now I feel the urge to trot over to Confessions and admit I own a Princess Di Bride Doll. One of the big porcelain ones yet, with the long, long veil and train.

gigglesnort · Post by **gigglesnort** » Mon Feb 14, 2005 6:18 am

Seen on a church sign: Warning, exposure to the Son may prevent burning.

heh.

Ranger Genius · Post by **Ranger Genius** » Mon Feb 14, 2005 8:34 am

I think good taste demands that you send it to Doc Pyro, Ant-M.

Rabbi Dali Rick · Post by **Rabbi Dali Rick** » Mon Feb 14, 2005 9:26 am

I don't know if you know this, but you can now
purchase Kosher Computers!

They are made in Israel by a company called DELL-SHALOM.
The price is very low, even with shipping charges from Israel.
I bought one, have been using it now for several weeks,
and highly recommend it.

However, before you purchase a Kosher Computer of your own,
you should know that there are some important changes
from the typical non-kosher computer you are used to, such as:

1) The "Start" button has been replaced with the
   "Let's go!! I'm not getting any younger!" Button.

2) You will hear "Hava Nagila" during Startup.

3) The Cursor moves from right to left.

4) When the Spell Checker finds an error it prompts,
"Is this the best you can do?"

5) When you look at erotic images, the computer says,
"If your mother knew you did this, she would plotz!"

6) It comes with a "Monitor Cleaning Solution"
   from Manischewitz that advertises it gets rid of all
   the "schmutz und drek."

7) When running "Scan Disk" it prompts you with
   the message, "You want I should fix this?"

8) After 20 minutes of no activity, the PC goes "Schloffen."

9) The PC shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings.

10) It comes with two hard drives- one for Fleyshedik (business software)
    and one for Milchedik (games).

11) Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error,
    the PC now gets "Ferklempt!"

12) The Multimedia Player has been renamed to
    "Nu, so play my music already!"

13) Internet Explorer has a spinning "Star of David"
    in the upper right corner.

14) When the PC is working too hard,
    you occasionally hear a loud, "Oy Gevalt!"

15) Any Computer viruses can now be cured with Matzo Ball Soup!

16) When disconnecting external devices from the back of the PC,
    you are instructed to "Remove the Cable from the PC's Tuchas."

17) After the computer dies,
    it has to be disposed of within 24 hours.

18) But best of all, if you have a Kosher Computer,
    you can't get Spam!

BUY ONE TODAY!

glickly,
the rebbi

Rabbi Dali Rick · Post by **Rabbi Dali Rick** » Wed Feb 23, 2005 4:04 pm

Cold Beer.....MMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.............. There should be a thread for this but I guess Idle is good enough

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed Feb 23, 2005 4:08 pm

Rabbi Dali Rick wrote: 17) After the computer dies, it has to be disposed of within 24 hours.

Must I sit shiva?

dr.placebo · Post by **dr.placebo** » Wed Feb 23, 2005 4:11 pm

Shiva. Not a bad name for a pet.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed Feb 23, 2005 4:12 pm

AntiM wrote:dammit, now I feel the urge to trot over to Confessions and admit I own a Princess Di Bride Doll. One of the big porcelain ones yet, with the long, long veil and train.

Ha! You should see the cups and plates and trays and so on that my mother has. Nothing like a daughter who can hit the post event markdowns and charity shops to pick them up cheap. No dolls, however. The sister in question does have a Princess Diana model ironing board, however.

Idle Chat Thread

Kosher Computers!

BEEr........

Re: Kosher Computers!