The Bar

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Wed Feb 23, 2005 11:47 pm

Hello Jaydub,.. where you from stranger?

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Wed Feb 23, 2005 11:51 pm

Hey blue maybe some reverse psychology would help, I think the hand cuffs and whip are still around here someplace,... you nasty worthless bitch,... ( you know I can't even say that kind of thing pretending with out feeling bad )
we'll have to try something else

blueniteowl · Post by **blueniteowl** » Wed Feb 23, 2005 11:52 pm

Zulegoona wrote:that doesn't sound like a lot of fun, Blue,..

This is probably stupid advise but; I think you should tell them about your situation, don't ask them to bail you out, but keep them informed,... they being parents might start questioning you if you can afford any little thing you want to spend money on, and they might feel bad that they can't help you out,.. But if the shit hit's the fan they won't be surprised,.. and who knows they could have some good ideas,..

Thanks, but no thanks. All I will get from my mother is criticism and a guilt trip. I know her tooo well. She'll get all stressed, and the whole thing will blow up. She can't handle really personal details about my life. And has told me several time that she doesn't care to know.

blueniteowl · Post by **blueniteowl** » Wed Feb 23, 2005 11:54 pm

Ya well, I'd probably just agree with you most of the time. Though, I wouldn't feel any worse. I'm the only one who can really make myself feel worse.

But, don't do it. You'll end up feeling bad, and I won't feel any better.

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Wed Feb 23, 2005 11:55 pm

My parents were a bit like that too,.. they knew I would tell them anything if they asked so they stopped asking because they really were afraid to know.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Feb 23, 2005 11:57 pm

You misunderstand me, I'm just sayin... don't let it get you down. That shit aint goin away unless you go away or you make it go away.

"It'll get better"....that's what Moms and Doctors say and although I play one on TV, I'm not really either.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 12:00 am

Damn, I gotta be quicker on the typin here....

Nice to meetcha both. I'm over here in CA just hanging out.

blueniteowl · Post by **blueniteowl** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 12:03 am

jaydub wrote:You misunderstand me, I'm just sayin... don't let it get you down. That shit aint goin away unless you go away or you make it go away.

"It'll get better"....that's what Moms and Doctors say and although I play one on TV, I'm not really either.

I'm sorry we have to meet on a night when I'm really grumpy. But, I've been tryin really hard to be positive, but have been worn down lately. It's been a REALLY shitty year for me. And it hasn't gotten better yet. So, I'm still on the defensive side of things. I'm just waiting for that next bad thing to happen ...

Elemental666 · Post by **Elemental666** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 12:06 am

*hick, looks down at his bare chest*

I have found the writing on the wall!!!!!

*waves to Jay*

hey blue, I had money problems not to long ago... I know how your feeling, but rest assured there are solutions. Mine may have been more drastic than others tho... I basically jumped down a big dark hole and send every peeny I could to those whom I owed and got it all payed off... Of course that meant I didn't have a life of any kind for about 2 years, but today I am debt free and look forward to people asking me for money so I can put on my evil face and ask them for a portion of their soul. Really tho, my solution is not feesable for most people, just remember there will be better days and if you put your mind and spirit to the task, this demon too shall fall.

hmmmm, I'm almost ready for another smoothie

*attempts to walk on his hands and wonders why everyone is staring at his butt*

blueniteowl · Post by **blueniteowl** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 12:06 am

Anyways, nice to meet you jay.

Hey, what happened to Z?

Well, I'm going to step out for a smoke. Be back in a bit.

blueniteowl · Post by **blueniteowl** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 12:09 am

Thanks Ele, I'm just having a crappy night.

Back in a bit.

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 12:13 am

Oh sure I take to fucking long to come up with something and she takes off,... well

I kind of look at it like,.. ( and I'm on a downward spiral here )
That kicking myself about all my short comings, inability's, and things that didn't work out as planed in the past, gets old and it doesn't do anything to help motivate me, so why put up with it from myself. focusing on the negatives, just makes me want to crawl in bed and sleep, I need to pump up the positives, to motivate. Sure it's a game, and it doesn't always work that well but. I know my greatest enemy is myself, and I need to fight against that part of me.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 12:14 am

Nothin wrong with bein grumpy, I fuckin thrive on it sometimes. Fuck positive. Sometimes it's more than okay to be bummed out and pissy.
But...blah blah blah...(that's me spouting advice)...blah, advice, do what I do, blah, don't do what I did, blah. Give yerself a hug and take a drink, we are in the f'in bar fer fucksake...

(sippin a newcastle as we speak, couldn't find any more sake)

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 12:18 am

Let's see I'll have to go back to see what's in one,..
fresh Georgia peach, 1/2 banana, 1/4 orange, 2-cups New York vanilla ice cream, ice & pint of Everclear, blended,..

you sure you want a whole pint this time?

Elemental666 · Post by **Elemental666** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 12:19 am

Nice outlook Z

I've adopted a similar stance, what doesn't kill me pisses me off, so fuck it all and be happy!!!! Its amazing how much better i feel since I stopped caring about the menial materialistic blah blah phooey that mankind has created for himself. You know, econimics, net worth, material identity, job definitions, credit worthiness, etc. etc. These are all things that most people hold in high reguard, but in the end when you return to ashes from whence you came, none of that matters. So why does it have such a gripping hold on us while we're here. The answer I came up with is because lots of people told you how important it was when you were younger and the social brainwashing engine did its job well. So follow my lead and bugger it all. Interestingly enough it was when I made this transition that I was finally able to examine that situation and conquer that demon. Sometimes you have to ride the bench in order to improve your performance.

BTW Z, whatcha drinking?

Elemental666 · Post by **Elemental666** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 12:22 am

Zulegoona wrote:you sure you want a whole pint this time?

*eyes glaze over, turns back to Z, opens mouths and bends over backwards*

I am your smoothie dispoal unit, feed me!!!!!

blueniteowl · Post by **blueniteowl** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 12:26 am

I am just really frustrated because I can't find any work that allows me to use my talents. I have an idea of what I want to do. But I need something for in the mean time. And I'm not happy just settling with something crappy.

blueniteowl · Post by **blueniteowl** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 12:27 am

Plus, reality camp has run dry. So no rose colored glasses tonight.

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 12:30 am

I doing Irish coffee,..

It's not all from the outside Ele when you have accumulated things that make you feel comfortable and things that you really do feel a sense of accomplishment about like having a house, the prospects of losing them, is a painful thought,... I joke about living under a bridge with my dogs, but having a house is dam nice. I've been really poor in the past and I really don't want to do it again. But I guess being that poor has taught me that I can always find a way to get by. and there is a confidence that comes with that.

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 12:34 am

Oh gees El here Pours smoothie in ( his?) mouth this will fix the stiff neck you just got waiting for me

blueniteowl · Post by **blueniteowl** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 12:34 am

and I think they may have left...

(sigh)

Elemental666 · Post by **Elemental666** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 12:39 am

I can empathize with that Blue.

I've thought my whole life that my talents lied in the technical and analytical aspects of systems development. After working in the industry I realized that these talents were but tools for what i was really good at, blending tech with life to form a cleaner, simpler way of life. While this is a new realization for me I haven't found a way to profit by it yet. So to conquer my demon I had to swallow my pride, I got a decent job at a tech support help desk (not fun or challenging or even interesting) becuase it provided a way for me to fund my personal war. Now that war is over and I'm looking towards a new horizon, I'm working on ways to make my living off what I'm good at and with hard work, dedication, persperation and a little help from my friends and family I'll get there. Burning Man this year, my first year, will not only be a vaction from this misguided world but a testing ground for some of my ideas. I plan to make this my yearly vacation, even tho i've never been, I know its sort of a home coming...

Anyway, being down is a necessary part of the cycle, I try to recognize exactly what it is that's making me feel down when I'm there. This gives me a direction for making change that will help me out later...

*ponder ponder* You know what, screw all that shit I just said. Be pissed!

*Hugz Blue*

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 12:40 am

Hey Blue I would have to read it again but it looking like Hubberd broadcasting was looking for a graphic art person, and it seemed like for there assistant they were looking for someone with a 2year degree but for what the job is I would bet they'd take anyone with a working knowledge of Photoshop ,illustrator and the like, they want somebody to do graphics for the stuff they use on news broadcasts

blueniteowl · Post by **blueniteowl** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 12:46 am

Ahh, gee thanks El. *smooches*

Z, Something like that scares me though with no prior experience. Because I only have limited experience with photoshop and illustrator. I haven't used either program since '01. And I don't think I could handle that kind of pressure, being uncomfortable with my own abilities. I'm not good with deadlines.

Elemental666 · Post by **Elemental666** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 12:47 am

Hugz Z in gradatude, and yes it was his mouth.

*stumble off in search of the heebeegeebee healer camp for some neck work*

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 12:48 am

why do you think I'm telling you about it instead of sending them my resume...

blueniteowl · Post by **blueniteowl** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 12:50 am

I may be underestimating my own abilities. I am a horrible judge when it comes to myself. But, I've had enough problems in the past with deadlines that it scares me.

blueniteowl · Post by **blueniteowl** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 12:51 am

Sooo, were just stuck in the same boat aren't we? Maybe we should start a club. The underachivers?

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 12:55 am

you know your own comfort level, there is something to being true to the kind of person you are.

there are a lot of things I could try to bluff my way into but I wouldn't be comfortable with that,...
As a person who has always made things it seems like the people who sell the things make the real money,.. but I'm no salesman and wouldn't be happy trying to be so I don't take that road.

blueniteowl · Post by **blueniteowl** » Thu Feb 24, 2005 12:55 am

I just have trouble raising my expectations of myself. Ever since high school when I allowed my self to fail. Now, no expectations then no guilt if things don't work out.