How I Learned to Relax and Enjoy the Burn

[nick]

Dear fellow burners,

After reading many discussions, complaints and criticisms relating to the 2004 Festival on this here Eplaya, I wanted to add my perspective regarding "How I Learned to Relax and Enjoy the Burn".

Last year, I had a somewhat negative experience -- largely due to my own attitude I now realize. I had several negative interactions with stupid people, some stuff got taken from our camp, and the magic, for me, seemed to be dying.

This year (4th burn), I vowed to go to BRC with a new attitude: Don't sweat the small stuff (and compared to fighting in Iraq everything related to BM is small stuff!), disengage from negative situations, and have more fun...

You know what? This attitudinal adjustment worked wonders on my experience!

When our dome-builder needed to sleep-in Monday, I cracked a beer, put my feet up and relaxed. When some of our art projects didn't work out as planned, I got on my bike and explored instead. When a bunch of off-key e-tards threatened to ruin my Temple burn (there is a LIMIT to *interactive* people!), I just moved 50 yards away.

"Wow," I thought to myself: "It's SO EASY AT BURNING MAN TO AVOID NEGATIVE EXPERIENCES because there is a HUGE festival out there!"

There are hundreds (thousands?) of theme camps, dozens (hundreds?) of playa pieces - and if those don't do it for you, there is a whole mess of unofficial camps, art pieces, happenings and experiences NOT in the "What, Where, When" or on any map.

Now let me make one disclaimer: If you were injured, assaulted or suffered serious theft THAT is a bummer. If it was totally random -- like the chap who got hit in the head with a champagne bottle some idiot threw up in the air or the guy who got bike-jacked -- then you have every right to be pissed.

HOWEVER, for many of the other folks who got bummed out over minor things: vent a little, figure out what you are going to do to make it better next year, and then please, Relax and Enjoy the Burn!

See you on the playa in 2005,

-Nick

Here are a few amusing comments I culled from the Eplaya:

"the art was lacking"

After spending most of the first 4 days building, I started seriously trying to look at art Wednesday. After at least a dozen or more multi-hour art-tours and many smaller trips, Sunday night I was still finding new pieces! I agree that this wasn't the strongest year for playa-art, but there was still more art than I had time to see and the best stuff was better than anything at the 2004 Whitney Biennial IMHO.

"HATE YOU! Stoopid spring breakers."

Well of course. But sometimes our assumptions can get the better of us. This year, I started chatting with two early-20 dudes from Reno. They were wearing cowboy hats and drinking American beer. First year. Up for the day of the burn, one night of camping and then out. I could have easily dubbed them Spring Breakers on sight and not welcomed them into our tent. But I did, and we began chatting. Turns out they were open-minded folks who were blow away by the art, and were looking forward to bringing something big up next year to share. I think they got "it" - whatever that means!

"'Down in Front' Fascism Is Ruining My Burn"

Fascism, according to Bartleby.com is "A system of government marked by centralization of authority under a dictator, stringent socioeconomic controls, suppression of the opposition through terror and censorship, and typically a policy of belligerent nationalism and racism. b. A political philosophy or movement based on or advocating such a system of government. 2. Oppressive, dictatorial control."

People yelling at you to sit down at the Burn is not fascism. It might be annoying or unwarranted, but it's not fascism. Everyone involved should probably chill out, not sit so close, or just avoid the burn altogether.

"Problem of Vanishing Street Signs after the Man Burns - WTD?"

They don't get stolen, DPW takes them! It's part of the experience of the event -- you are SUPPOSED to be a bit disoriented after the Man falls (or so my more veteran friends tell me) because it's time for the city to die and for its inhabitants to go the fuck home! Learn to enjoy it! How lost can you be? It's all laid out on a grid! We always write the address on our white board (and our neighbors put up new signs with cardboard) but if you really can't handle it, make sure your camp has a mast with a flasher or do like Badger and bring a GPS.

-end-

[geekster]

Dear fellow burners,
but if you really can't handle it, make sure your camp has a mast with a flasher or do like Badger and bring a GPS.
-end-

Hmm, which got me wondering ... geocaching would be COOL at BRC. What a great way to get people to your camp, trade trinkets, etc. If you don't know what geocaching is ... try http://www.geocaching.com/

What an awesome place to leave a travel bug that you are trying to get to another region of the country!

I never thought to look to see if there were any geocaches this year but you can bet your bippy that I will have one NEXT year!

[waltsnipe]

Excellent, balanced advice, Nick. I know I would be better off following your recommendation. Despite the great time I had this year, I've found myself with a few things in my craw vis a vis isolated incidences of rude behavior out on the playa, and I've probably posted more on the E-Playa about those than all the good times I had.

Part of this is that I don't know how relevant it would be to other E-Playans to hear me say "I loved all the new folks I met at my Carnaval dance this year," or "man, I camp with some great people in SCARAB," but the other part is that I came away this year feeling like the core values of the playa (eg. unselfish behavior between strangers) that I care so much about were under attack in ways I hadn't seen in years past. This provokes a response in me to want to defend them. I don't know if my posts have been the most productive way to do that....maybe it's just venting.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that your suggestion is very well taken. Come on by SCARAB Camp next year for a tall Guinness and we'll interview you on Radio Electra!

waltsnipe, SCARAB Camp

[heat]

Thank you so much for your words!!
I actually WAS injured, kinda badly actually, and still adopted a mirror attitude to yours - had an OK time despite being trapped in camp/doped on vicodan - I experienced many blessings; I really wanted my friends to have a great time & made sure my newbie best friend (BM was a graduation present from me) had folks to ride with and see everything - she loved it and has SO manygreat ideas for next year! She was fully in the spirit and gifted and helped and participated. I also was gifted with a comfy low-key art-car ride to see a little art and the burn. Mostly I had a great in-camp experience, wonderful feasts, live music, being taken care of, good conversations - all spontaneous and great.
Passing yahoos were hilarious, the couple actual quiet hours were cool,as were the thumping camps...after 7 burns, they've all been different. A resurgence will come. Though I am amazed cruising peop's photos how much art was there that I missed, being immobilized in a moving car.
BMan as life is more about what you DO with what's presented than about what's plopped in front of you.

[markslut]

One of the strange things to me this year was that if I had been asked how many people were there on Saturday I would have guessed a couple of thousand less than in 2003. I could walk down the esplanade Saturday night without constantly dodging people. Sure the big dance clubs were crowded but there were also a lot of less crowded places and there was a wonderful variety of dance music if you were willing to look for it. And I know there were large parts of the city I didn't see. If there was a place or a vibe that didn't agree with me there were tons of other places to go - it was wonderful.

If I didn't like the way someone looked at me on the way to the porta - i'ts only a block to the next porta. i can choose to be annoyed or remove the annoyance. It shouldn't happen and I shouldn't have to go farther but I do have a choice. If getting hit on in the bars is not something I want then I can go somewhere else The city is more than big enough.

That's one of the great things about BRC, there is always somewhere else to go. If there was soemthing that you wanted there that wasn't, it's your own damn fault so make do without and bring it next year.

My camp delivered about 100 pizzas (Pizza Slut style) and had lots of fun talking with people about the solar ovens and the dart board ordering service. It was annoying when people would come by and either ask nicely if they could have some pizza or even once say 'I want some pizza'. Most everyone understood that we were a delivery only pizza place and that we took no orders. It was great fun.

Obviously if you're hurt or assulted etc there are things that can ruin your week (or not). I have never had to deal with crude comments but or unwanted affection and if repeated it could get annoying but it seams that thanks but no thanks would be enough to end it in most cases. Again you can always go somewhere else - nothing is the best or the only place to be.

I personally hate wating in lines and won't do it - if I was more outgoing I could make it a social experience (I'm not so I don't) which could be fun. So I miss all the happenings with lines - that doesn't mean there are too many people.

Of course it also helps camping with a group of fantastic people. I think even without BRC all around we would have a great time hanging out together in the desert.

Burning Man is mostly what you make of it, a great party, a participatory art show, a playground, an amazing community where you can sit next to someone for a few minutes say "it's been nice sitting next to you" and get a great hug, and one of the only places in the world where people just give things away without expecting anything in return except a thank-you or a smile. It's all there you just have to look for it.

[turtlemind]

I happened to have had a less than favorable burn.

There was drama in our camp, so we spent less time there. Some perky boobed blond spring break girl was really rude at random pizza camp, so we gifted the camp and took our pizzas to go. The zipper on my tent broke, so we inhaled way too much playa...no good antedote there, I ended up with a really painful sore throat.

Anyway come Friday I found the best thing for me was some anonymous time at Center Camp. It helped some. upon leaving though I still left dissappointed though. Those things plus many others robbed me of my BRC warm fuzzy. I really did try to make it work, but I feel like I missed it.

damn.

[jbelson]

I think a lot of dissappointment comes from wanting something from the event. A lot of people go there looking for this spiritual happening, prepare for hours to make it happen, and go out and maybe try and force it. I think a lot of people have tunnel vision also. Trying in vain to to make their vision happen as opposed to adapting.
I went in with the idea of trying to give and meet. My goal was to gift all of our 1,500 stickers, 400 buttons, 24 litres of vodka, and meet people that really put in a lot of effort to their camps and just say "thanks" and "how'd you do this".
I figured if I kept it that simple (other than the camp stuff and the crazy wind early in the week), I would come out enjoying the event.
I realize that a lot of us put in so much time and effort into the event that our expectations are set really high. We say that "with this peice, I'm gonna have the best burn ever".
But what is our reason for going out to the dessert?
For me, I've started to travel the world since the dawn of this millenium and have come to realize that Black Rock city is like no other city in the world. It's economics are totally different. The culture is experimental. I am it's builder, it's trashman, it's counselman, and citizen. It's history is irrelevant for a brief period of time. it only exists for one week of the year, yet it's art and soul eclipse everyother place during it's brief lifespan.
I just go to be a part, a cog in the wheel of something amazing.

[fairydustbug]

[quote="jbelson"]I think a lot of dissappointment comes from wanting something from the event. A lot of people go there looking for this spiritual happening, prepare for hours to make it happen, and go out and maybe try and force it. I think a lot of people have tunnel vision also. Trying in vain to to make their vision happen as opposed to adapting.


EXACTLY! I spent my very first evening in black rock city 3 years ago with a friend. We were riding our bikes around trying to find "IT". He kept asking me "where are we going? what's next? what's there to see?" I was going nuts lookign and looking. Finally, I ditched the friend and sat down by myself in a camp and saw that IT was everywhere. I Met some wonderful people who are still friends of mine to this day!
We still joke about looking for "IT" at burning man. I see the frustrations of my campmates and others around me who can't seem to find "IT" at BUrning Man. My advice to all my newbie friends this year: When you're overwhelmed, don't know where to go/what to do. Just stop what your doing, sit down and there IT is.

[BAS]

I haven't been to Burning Man yet, and am going to try my d---est to make it in 2005. Whenever I happen to mention wanting to go to my dad, his response is that he can't understand why on Earth I would want to go out camping in the middle of a dusty desert. I don't know how to explain it to him, or most other people.

The best explaination I have found has been to tell people "I want to see what its all about." Telling people I am curious about it seems to be understandable to most people. But that really isn't the whole truth. I have always wanted to travel all over the world (and beyond-- I read a lot of science fiction and fantasy as a kid! )-- but have never been able to afford it. I might be able to make it to Burning Man, which from my understanding is very different from anywhere else. Maybe I AM looking for something-- but I know I can't expect BM to provide it. I think mostly I just want to go to get away from the Real World for a time.


Sorry if I am rambling, I just wanted to try to put down my reaction to the posts.



Brian (who is trying to keep his attitude pretty neutral about what to expect.)

[mars]

I love this thread! Thank you for starting it Nick!

Bas--my mother said "I would PAY to NOT have to go to Burning Man!" (I'm still thinking how much to charge her!)

What I love and hate about BM are the same thing--there is so much there that you can only get a small sliver of it in a week.

Barring random acts of violence, relaxing and enjoying BM is up to each of us. When something bothers me there, I move on. Even with my campmates, even with my partner. If I don't like the sliver I have found myself in--20 feet away there is another sliver.

My favorite moments happened this year when I detached from my camp and went out on unplanned solo adventures. I can be pretty shy when it comes to meeting new people, but I pretended I wasn't shy, went out and talked to strangers. Met some great people and some not so great people. Came back to camp with lots of stories to tell, new friends, and some cool gifts. That didn't happen last year (my 1st) because I was too afraid to put myself out.

I have to say that while I was very excited before BM this year, I also remembered to reel myself in. In the thick of all the excited planning, I reminded myself that my visions may not come to be -- someone, or I, could get sick, or hurt, our camp could have personality problems, someone's vehicle could break down and not make it, or some unforseen problem could occur. And then i would resolve to be okay no matter what happened -- to hold my positive visions, but not to hold them as expectations. This gave me a powerful sense of peace that carried me through the whole event, allowing negative experiences to be an okay part of the experience as a whole. BM is INTENSE -- in both the positive and negative aspects. Learning to hold and accept both does us good.


Geek -- I LOVE the geocache idea -- I had thought of that last year and then promptly forgot about it -- thanks for the reminder -- perhaps we'll meet when we find each other's caches!

[nick]

Thanks for the feedback folks... I'm glad some people found this post useful. I just wanted to respond to the last post by Mars: Solo adventures are key!

Each year I've gone with a bigger and bigger camp, known more people, and had more stuff to take care of in terms of camp management...

Even though great friends and other people really do make the event, I find that solo adventures are really key -- especially if you are going with a Significant Other, big camp, or newbie friends. I love getting on my bike, filling up my camelback, and then riding until exhaustion sets in!

Bas: Burning Man means different things to different people, but for me the ART is a key attraction that keeps me coming back. You won't know what you dig until you check it out, but if you explain to people that it's an art festival where the particpants make the art, they might at least nod ;>

-nick-

[Tiahaar]

I love that there is this great positive thread here! Thank you to each of you. I gotta think that the most relaxing thing I did was forgoing a schedule or a must-do list and just noting some things I'd like to see and if I was in the area at the time great if not no sweat there was always something fun to take its place where I was. Its the little things that help you feel like you belong and are part of the fun so wear something crazy or silly, even if its just a wild hat, and have some fun lights for night-time wear too.

[Blue Jester]

The one thing I found most useful in the asspect of expecting something from burningman is as follows "forget everything any one has told you about burningman, everything you have read or watched about burningman and just sit back and enjoy the ride". a freind of mine told me this before We left (he had been a number of time but could not attend last year) and it was the best advise I ever got.

[Iago]

I think it's all sort of Pavalovian... Everytime I see fire and smell gypsum, I start salivating at the mouth or something like that, I think..? [ excuse me, I started thinking again ] . . .. . . )'( . . . .. ... .. .

[Chai Guy]

IT was everywhere

Indeed! Amen Brother. Thanks for reminding me of this.

[Thatgirlagain]

This year (2005) will be my third. I can hardly wait! I too was disappointed last year with a few things but they are easily forgotten when I let the best memories wash over me. For me, IT (the spirit of BM) is in me. Some of the most relaxing moments for me occurred when I rode off by myself and left hubby and friends at camp. This year may be different, who knows!

TGA

[HughMungus]

This year, I started chatting with two early-20 dudes from Reno. They were wearing cowboy hats and drinking American beer. First year. Up for the day of the burn, one night of camping and then out. I could have easily dubbed them Spring Breakers on sight and not welcomed them into our tent. But I did, and we began chatting. Turns out they were open-minded folks who were blow away by the art, and were looking forward to bringing something big up next year to share. I think they got "it" - whatever that means!

Awesome. Great post, thanks.

[HughMungus]

Whenever I happen to mention wanting to go to my dad, his response is that he can't understand why on Earth I would want to go out camping in the middle of a dusty desert. I don't know how to explain it to him, or most other people.

"Because it feels great, DAD. What about YOU dad?"

God I crack myself up.

[star5]

um. yes the street signs do get stolen. i happen to have a venus sign from last year that was aquired in the early morning hours on sunday. but it is part of the experience. and if you can't find your way around without signs by the end of the week, then you get to go on a little adventure.

[AntiM]

"Entitlement"

oops, wrong thread

[Petalford]

My first burn was year 2000. I can't say that I had a great time, I had my moments, but poor campmates hampered my stay in Black Rock City. As others have mentioned, having expectations of what "It" is all about and then not really feeling like I got "It" was a huge let down.

But fear not -- I knew I just had to relax and give it another go. I went back to the city in dust, 2004, with no expectations - I vowed to do whatever the hell I felt like doing. Being by myself, opening up and talking to people, hanging out at center camp, chilling with chickles and blueberry Bob...just letting myself go... and I got it. Now, I crave it...

My chickies and I begin to salivate as we pull out the camping gear and the scent of playa lofts throughout the back yard...

I can’t stand waiting the 32 days, 17 hours and 57 seconds before we head home...