The Bar

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 10:15 am

Mmmm, bloody mary.

joel the ornery · Post by **joel the ornery** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 10:35 am

so, there i was enjoying my second cold Imperial Pint of Guinness when the phone rings. the bartender says it is for me... "oh lordy, what i have done now?" as i take the phone in hand.

"Hi, this is Tara (adult step-daughter), Troy has gotten himself into trouble with the police. Please call Mom"

as i think to myself... "oh great"

so i call home, speak to the youngest step-son and relays his older brother's afternoon activities to me.

It seems the older young man with his two delinquent friends decided to take the BB guns kept in my studio/garage and shoot at one another and assorted inanimate objects (the neighbor's house).

the neighbor comes out, and advises the young men that the police have been called. they put the BB guns away, jump into the car and drive to Gibson City 10 miles away to get CO2 cartridges for paint guns.

in the meantime, the police/LEO (singular) arrives and asks the younger brother to find the BB guns. He can't find them, so the LEO assumes the young men have the BB guns with them and are probably doing criminal damage to property somewhere...

i then call my spouse at work and am told that she has already departed work for home...

well, in my infinite wisdom... i figured, she's got it handled... i can finish my beer. actually, once that beer was finished, i stayed for another.

once i got home, after some non-tobacco smoking on the way... i am informed we (the youngster, his mother and myself) have an 8PM appointment with the LEO to discuss the matter.

well, to make a long story short... using BB guns in the city limits of Fisher, IL is illegal.... so is criminal damage to property... so it taking juveniles across the county line (and in this case to get CO2 for paint guns) if their parents choose to press charges.

the young man got a good 20 minute lecture from the LEO and warned he can be prosecuted for the above crimes in the next 18 months if the LEO chooses to.

now allow me dear reader, this wasn't exactly what i was looking forward to when i come home from work at night.

so.... i could use a beer, right about now.

sputnik · Post by **sputnik** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 10:45 am

You sir 'ave good reason to be ornery today.

Beer coming right up.

<slides one down the bar>

tisha2 · Post by **tisha2** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 1:51 pm

wow. okay.... endless e-guiness for Joel today. wish i coulda heard the words that flew outta you after that LEO left.

and due to the fact that i was informed yesterday that i have a "bad" ovary (basically it is WAAAY bigger than it's supposed to be, and very tender and has a very wrong and rather ugly texture) i grant myself endless e-whiskey today. and probably endless reality-whiskey later.

they don't know what it is yet, so they haven't told me anything. i'm hoping for a really big cyst that might even go away on it's own, they say. mid-range possibility is an overnight in the hospital for a 'procedure' to remove it. worst case...... well - we're just not even thinking about that.

joel the ornery · Post by **joel the ornery** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 2:12 pm

actually, i was calm, cool and collected about the whole issue.

it is time for the young man to gorw the fuck up and face his responsibilities... home, school, work.

his mother, on the other hand, is in a low hover off the ground...

thanks for the e-guinness...

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 2:45 pm

Tish
I have a mild case of PCOS. If you find you want to pm me, you may.
Fish

LeChatNoir · Post by **LeChatNoir** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 2:47 pm

Gads!!

Sounds like a rough day all around. For Joel, who once rightly corrected me in my mislabeling of the Godfather Of Soul... One freshly prepared Buffalo burger with a huge side of home fries to both help with the burdens of the day and give that Guinness something to wash down.

And for Ms Tish... an e-whiskey and the sentiment that you will be in the prayerful contemplations of one black cat this evening.

How's the coffee in there, fishie?

LeChatNoir · Post by **LeChatNoir** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 2:50 pm

OOOP!!

Gotta run... dinner's about to burn!!

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 2:57 pm

Whoops! I forgot about that. No wonder I'm so hyper!
*leaps back to regular bowl*
Now watch me sleep without closing my eyes.
*paces*

Sensei · Post by **Sensei** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 3:28 pm

tisha2 wrote:...and due to the fact that i was informed yesterday that i have a "bad" ovary (basically it is WAAAY bigger than it's supposed to be, and very tender and has a very wrong and rather ugly texture) i grant myself endless e-whiskey today. and probably endless reality-whiskey later.

they don't know what it is yet, so they haven't told me anything. i'm hoping for a really big cyst that might even go away on it's own, they say. mid-range possibility is an overnight in the hospital for a 'procedure' to remove it. worst case...... well - we're just not even thinking about that.

Fuck! I mean, FUCK!

Tish, I want you to know that you'll be in ALL our thoughts and prayers...

I love you, Tisha.

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 3:58 pm

Yeah Tisha, are thoughts are with you,... in the mean time I'll take an e-guinness too.

GuinivereElise · Post by **GuinivereElise** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 4:26 pm

hey Tish: mi madre had a grapefruit-sized cyst on her ovaries for YEARS... it never caused a bit of trouble, and wasn't anything other than a cyst. Eventually, when it started causing discomfort (but nothing else) they removed it.

Keep your chin up, dear. know that you are loved!

g

Lydia Love · Post by **Lydia Love** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 4:32 pm

A little birdie told me to check in today.

Sweetie pie, i've had 'em on both ovaries. They can be caused by many different things including that one ovary just freakin' the fuck out. You know the texture... have you had an ultrasound?

If you're not having scads of other femaley type difficulties (weird pains, weird bleeding, and so on) chances are good it's just a cyst and nothing more.

Did the doc compare it's size to a piece of fruit or a sportsball yet? Apparently they always do that. I had a grapefruit and a softball at one point...

tisha2 · Post by **tisha2** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 4:39 pm

thanks for the love, lovlies!! we are hoping for the cyst-scenario, but as of yet they have not confirmed nor denied anything. it's just a tad uncomfortable, and doesnt' seem to be causing any other of those femaly things.

Lydia - somewhere between racquetball and golfball. sheesh....why do they DO that?

i like the PCOS acronym...makes me feel like a rowdy cowgirl...from PECOS! with P-COS!

have wonderful nights, y'all! i'll let you know more when i do.

Lydia Love · Post by **Lydia Love** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 4:39 pm

Oh... this is a good tip for *anyone* going through weird medical procedures.

Make 'em inform you as to what they are doing and why... then later on for follow up visits you can parrot that info back at 'em. This cuts down on way way scary miscommunications later.

Your doctor's office looks at a billion freakin' medical files a day. They don't generally remember what you are in for and things get missed in their notes.

I had about an hour's worth of conversation with a doc on what to do now that we had a cancer diagnosis... because he missed the fact that I had gotten a second round of tests done. The second round indicated that cancer wasn't the problem...

If I had said "I'm here to discuss that second round of tests for ovarian cancer" that would have been a much easier doctor's visit (not to mention a much easier day...)

tisha2 · Post by **tisha2** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 4:41 pm

oooohhhhh...... i will remember that! thanks, Lydia!

GuinivereElise · Post by **GuinivereElise** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 5:23 pm

also, I don't know how YOU are personally about this kind of thing, but I like to know my worst case scenario... most doctors are able to downplay most things, because they're based on fact: diagnonsense, then treatment. When I say to my naturopathy: "what's the worst thing possible we're looking at here?" it's because, for me, it helps to be able to prepare for the worst, and then have the happy suprise of having it NOT be that... as opposed to the other way around (of course, if you're the kind of person that will worry yourself to death about this, then this advice is NOT for you....).... anyway.. when I ask Doctor that, she can say "oh, well... worst possible case is you've got________, which occurs about ______often, and which is really pretty maintanable, if you follow the rules... it would mean A. and B. and C. are out of your diet, but all in all, we'll have you operating at close to perfect in no time, regardless of what it is"..... something like that. Like I said, though, I'm the type of person who NEEDS to know... so that I can BEGIN to wrap my brain around it.

remember, honey: the world of many medicines have come a long long way, even in our generation. SOOOO many things are possible....

and, if good thoughts and wishes help heal, then I'm sure you're well on your way to recovery already, just like miss LL....

edited for spelling error.

sputnik · Post by **sputnik** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 6:48 pm

ahhh...my dearest Tisha...I am thinking about you tonight and hoping for the best.

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 7:58 pm

Love you, big sister.
Marshalling a heap of good energy your way.
You have my ear when you need it, ok?
Feel more than free,
Anytime.
Healthy, healthy, healthy,healthy

Martiansky · Post by **Martiansky** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 8:57 am

Tisha, sending hugs and warm "Hope everything will be ok" wishes your way!

*turns on the coffee machine, throws in the "Your favorite flavor coffee beans" in and walks back out*

Last Real Burner · Post by **Last Real Burner** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 9:36 am

Ok everybody drink up... It's time to lay hands on Tisha.

"Doctor What Shall I Do With My Clothes?
Throw Them Over In The Corner With Mine."

The Rebbi, I

Ranger Genius · Post by **Ranger Genius** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 11:31 am

I can do a pretty convincing psychic surgery.

"I'm gonna need some raw chicken trimmings, a cup of blood, and a hollow rubber finger, STAT!"

Gotta say I like the "Laying on of Hands" idea, though. Of course, when Mormons say "Laying on of Hands," they mean something different altogether.

Now that the dirty joke has sunk in, they really mean a boring 20 minute prayer with a bunch of smelly old guys rubbing oil into your hair and sitting there with their hands on your head. Melchezedik blessings suck.

robbidobbs · Post by **robbidobbs** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 5:50 pm

RobbiDobbs had just walked into the Bar, when she overheard the comment by Genius.

Ranger Genius wrote:Melchezedik blessings suck.

Ew! When I submitted to that bologna, I felt like I was sufficating under all those warm, smarmy hands. Blech!

Oh shit! It's well past beer-thirty in Reality Camp. Gotta stop daydreaming and run off, kids.[/i]

sputnik · Post by **sputnik** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 6:24 pm

Kinetic IV · Post by **Kinetic IV** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 6:30 pm

Whoa! What the heck is a varmint doing in the bar? How did that skunk get in here? I'm not sticking around with any skunks, I'm outta here!

(In reference to Sputnik's avatar of the moment)

sputnik · Post by **sputnik** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 6:33 pm

Hmmmm...what could he be talking about?

Post by **AntiM** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 7:26 pm

Wanders in ...

Yippee-kai-Aye! I'm going truckin' with larry. I'll be in Reno tomorrow and this load delivers into Richmond CA the 2nd. Then who knows? Hope I can find wifi truckspots, otherwise I'll be silent for a week.

Woohoo! Got any Cuba Libre fixin's back there?

An e-round for e-everyone!

robbidobbs · Post by **robbidobbs** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 9:31 pm

RobbiDobbs staggers in, her mind reeling from accumulated angst from the pinks dropping their mediocrity on her all fucking day like so many seagulls. She has a case of Hanks at the end of her hooked fingers. She parks on the dusty couch and cracks a beer.

...

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 9:37 pm

Hi Robbi, good to see you here,...

Ok What's a "Pink " ? and what happened to there heads?

robbidobbs · Post by **robbidobbs** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 9:46 pm

Howdy Z,
See...
www.subgenius.com

Pink = mediocritan normals that suck my slack like an artificially flavored strawberry milkshake.

Decapitated because flaying their skin is too labor intensive.

The Bar

you can send them to school, but it doesn't mean they learn

the beatings will continue until morale improves...

beer.......................