toilet paper shortage in 2004

robbidobbs · Post by **robbidobbs** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 9:06 pm

460 units
3 times per day...
...for 2.5 weeks

Personelle
temporary employees
frantically meeting contractural time requirements
thru impossible environmental odds
with extensive sensory distractions
working full-time, heavy labor, horribly dirty
Why is that art? Solace in glittery tits.
Beer after dark.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Fri Apr 29, 2005 10:09 am

trailmix has never posted again. Nice to breeze in solve our problems and breeze out without charging a consultant fee.

sputnik · Post by **sputnik** » Fri Apr 29, 2005 10:23 am

s/he's just taking a little vacation in the south of france and is currently completely without internet access.

Just guessing

robbidobbs · Post by **robbidobbs** » Fri Apr 29, 2005 6:09 pm

Ah Sputnik, mon mouffette mignonne, what a sweet thought.
Alas, but I believe we've been visited by a seagull poster.

tola · Post by **tola** » Sun May 01, 2005 5:17 am

When I went to India my greatest fear was running out of TP. As I result I weighed down my backpack with many rolls. I soon learned that nobody uses it out there (they consider it unclean) and so learnt to use water and my left hand, a habit which has lasted many years. As a result I am always squeeky clean and have no fear of TP shortage, especially on the playa where water is always with me. Try it out, and free your bum and your psyche...

unjonharley · Post by **unjonharley** » Sun May 01, 2005 7:47 am

One of the greatest problems with a TP shortageis: People will starte using those wipes. This is a NO NO. These wipes do NOT break down and WILL stop a pottie pump. I live in a RV court. The rooter man was out last month aaagain. One trunk line was jamed full of baby wipes. This an adult only court also, no babys. People in general are like sheep. The TV tells them to use wipes and throw them away. Baaa throw them in the toilet, dumb sheep.

Grizelda · Post by **Grizelda** » Tue May 03, 2005 11:40 am

To answer your question, 1-2 rolls. The existing fixture has the ability to be padlocked, and I've lobbied to JotS that they budget in one padlock per unit. This concept looks good on paper, but then logistics reality jumps in: you've increased the servicing time by about a minute at best, plus you've increased the error factor (losing the key, etc). Because of last year's TP issue, I'm hoping that they're rethinking their stand on cost vs benefits.

This is a good point. If they won't consider the locks because of the cost of the actual locks, maybe Burning Man could buy the locks or some of us could organize a fundraiser or give donations to purchase the locks (I'm not much good at orgainizing things, but I would chip in a few dollars). Then the locks could be reused in future years.

Another thing for JotS to consider: fiddling with locks is probably more pleasant for the staff than fiddling with hoses that are clogged with whole soggy rolls of toilet paper.

Not providing toilet paper at all is another possible option. Somehow I can't imagine pranksters going out and purchasing lots of toilet paper for the sole purpose of tossing whole rolls into potties. I just don't think I would count on thousands of people all getting the message to bring 1-ply and remembering it in the grocery store.

M Joe Boss · Post by **M Joe Boss** » Tue May 03, 2005 11:43 pm

Wow I was waiting to see if someone came up with the not provididng any tp at all thing, and alas Grizelda has given me hope.

Though she is also right about getting the message to everyone out there. So I propose that they figure out the number of participants and the number of rolls of tp used for that amount of participants and average it out, and when you come to the greeters station they will hand you the corresponding #( minus a roll or two) of approved rolls of tp for you to keep track of yourself. I believe it would help alot of things. It would more than likely cut down on usage and those idiots who use half a roll to cover their excrement might think twice about doing so . It would cut down on the # of complaints generated by those who can't find tp . It would cut down on the # of rolls being thrown in the JOTS. It would cut down on the time required for servicing, and the amount of sewage generated. And Jots would probably be less likely to want to leave the event.

And of course like I said before subtract a few rolls from the total average cuz this will inevitably help conservation, but if you do runout and nobody will lend you theirs, you should be able to purchase some in center camp for like $5.00 a roll, take the proceeds from that and put it towards, making our portapotty experiences much better, or what ever.

unjonharley · Post by **unjonharley** » Wed May 04, 2005 8:26 am

I'm not about to dance the night away at a acceptance ball. But there is some important brain stroming going on here. (how to get 1ply into the hands of all burners?) JOTs is not about to pull out. They have a great deal invested in BM. most of there stations sit idel all year. The contract for BM means a one time per year shot in he arm. We just need to do our part to make it all come togeather now.

robbidobbs · Post by **robbidobbs** » Wed May 04, 2005 5:51 pm

JotS makes bank on us, that's common knowlege, they are damn good at what they do for us, and they don't want the Project to be jeopardized over the pottie situation. And because of that, they've pulled major rabbits out of their hats for us. And I mean outright miracles. Fer instance: last year, because of the *type* of trash that was going in (mind you, only at night, and it did have a pattern), they were running out of replacement parts to repair their pump trucks. WE were causing damage on such a large scale that they were running into difficulties meeting their contractural obligations (read: servicing the potties). They met the increased demands, but it was tough on them. And it was getting scary. Let's say that they did run out of replacement valves (the most fragile part of the system). That would mean that those trucks damaged could not be serviced. Get it? "Not serviced" affects US. The other part of the equasion is that although they had TP by the truckload, it took TIME to go back to the cluster and restock it after it was pilfered. That meant that WE were making it difficult for them to keep to their schedule, not to mentioned the inconvenience to US.

Bottom line is that if we just treat the potties with respect, use them as they were intended, and not abuse them, JotS will be able to do the job that we pay them to do, and we'll have a positive excremental experience every time. Wouldn't it be nice if we didn't have to worry about walking in on a bummer?

I would LOVE it if the potties were a non-issue, but it's not. It's a problem that I can use some help with. So if you're interested in helping, let me know.

Grizelda · Post by **Grizelda** » Wed May 04, 2005 6:30 pm

I kinda like the idea of handing out TP at the gate. I carried a roll around most of the time last year and it wasn't that difficult.

Then again, it's still an eensy bit nicer when I don't have to spend extra time in the portapotty rummaging in my bag for toilet paper while juggling a flashlight in the dark and sometimes having my other belongings fall in the guck on the floor. I guess if I knew there wouldn't be toilet paper, I could take it out ahead of time. Still. One extra thing to juggle.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu May 05, 2005 10:38 am

I can understand the issue of carrying a roll around with you all week, but I cannot fathom how people can come camping for a week and not bring any 1-ply with them to keep in camp.

unjonharley · Post by **unjonharley** » Thu May 05, 2005 11:07 am

boer wrote:I can understand the issue of carrying a roll around with you all week, but I cannot fathom how people can come camping for a week and not bring any 1-ply with them to keep in camp.

~
It's just that some times your not dealing with the sharpest knife in the drawer. Last year some people set a camp next to me. They sat down to eat from a delie sack. As they finished with a item they would throw the wraper into the wind. It blow against my shelter so I picked it up. Then they broke camp and left another mess. I could not think of a proper thing to say. I'm not nice that way. So I just shut up and picked up.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu May 05, 2005 1:13 pm

I'm no butter knife, but I can usually figure out the obvious. Going camping for a week with 35,000 other people? Hmmm, what to pack, what to pack...

Grizelda · Post by **Grizelda** » Thu May 05, 2005 6:18 pm

I'm no butter knife, but I can usually figure out the obvious. Going camping for a week with 35,000 other people? Hmmm, what to pack, what to pack...

Glow sticks! Little beaded bracelets for new friends! A large plush duck named Harold. Champagne. A flame thrower. Pop rocks. Pineapple flavoured goat cheese! There are a lot of things more interesting than toilet paper. There are ESPECIALLY a lot of things more interesting than choosing 1 ply vs 2 ply or even more incorrect bathroom products. Oooh, lookit that awesome fuzzy tiger striped hat over there!

unjonharley · Post by **unjonharley** » Thu May 05, 2005 6:28 pm

Grizelda wrote:
I'm no butter knife, but I can usually figure out the obvious. Going camping for a week with 35,000 other people? Hmmm, what to pack, what to pack...
Glow sticks! Little beaded bracelets for new friends! A large plush duck named Harold. Champagne. A flame thrower. Pop rocks. Pineapple flavoured goat cheese! There are a lot of things more interesting than toilet paper. There are ESPECIALLY a lot of things more interesting than choosing 1 ply vs 2 ply or even more incorrect bathroom products. Oooh, lookit that awesome fuzzy tiger striped hat over there!

~
Yes and you sound like one of the asshats that other people will end up taking care of. Do you even know why 1ply is needed? Did you even read anythig before posting?

alanogy · Post by **alanogy** » Thu May 05, 2005 9:32 pm

unjonharley wrote:Yes and you sound like one of the asshats that other people will end up taking care of. Do you even know why 1ply is needed? Did you even read anythig before posting?

Not a connoisseur of whimsical sarcasm, I take it... so how do you wear an asshat anyway?

spectabillis · Post by **spectabillis** » Thu May 05, 2005 10:34 pm

ayup, over-reacting abounds...

robbidobbs · Post by **robbidobbs** » Thu May 05, 2005 10:42 pm

Grizelda wrote:I kinda like the idea of handing out TP at the gate. I carried a roll around most of the time last year and it wasn't that difficult.

If you really want to help, just hang out at the pottie cluster near where you are living and hand it out. As a former Gate staffer, I can't recommend doing anything but driving thru the Gate, cheerfully handing the staff your ticket... and beer of course.

And while you're handing out TP you can talk to people about not throwing in baby wipes, tampons and other inappropriate trash. There is a program called Adopt a Cluster -- similar to Adopt a Highway. You can turn your ideas into performance art. It's great fun for those waiting in the lines.

Grizelda · Post by **Grizelda** » Fri May 06, 2005 6:45 am

Yes and you sound like one of the asshats that other people will end up taking care of. Do you even know why 1ply is needed? Did you even read anythig before posting?

Of course I know why! It's to save the forests by using up fewer trees. Duh.

And while you're handing out TP you can talk to people about not throwing in baby wipes, tampons and other inappropriate trash. There is a program called Adopt a Cluster -- similar to Adopt a Highway. You can turn your ideas into performance art. It's great fun for those waiting in the lines.

I am getting scary mental images of the toilet paper fairy, and she strongly resembles the ghost of Christmas present from Scrooged.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Fri May 06, 2005 9:50 am

Grizelda wrote: A large plush duck named Harold.

Does harold the Duck have a ticket?

robbidobbs · Post by **robbidobbs** » Sat May 07, 2005 8:42 pm

Grizelda wrote:
Yes and you sound like one of the asshats that other people will end up taking care of. Do you even know why 1ply is needed? Did you even read anythig before posting?

Of course I know why! It's to save the forests by using up fewer trees. Duh.

Uh...no. Just in case this wasn't about sarcasm, it's because 1 ply will dissolve in the blue digestive liquid. 2 ply -- esp the "extra strong and quilted" doesn't, and causes problems at the filters

And while you're handing out TP you can talk to people about not throwing in baby wipes, tampons and other inappropriate trash. There is a program called Adopt a Cluster -- similar to Adopt a Highway. You can turn your ideas into performance art. It's great fun for those waiting in the lines.

I am getting scary mental images of the toilet paper fairy, and she strongly resembles the ghost of Christmas present from Scrooged.

Run with it!

Martiansky · Post by **Martiansky** » Sun May 08, 2005 4:59 am

Any particular brand of one-ply better then another to bring?

Grizelda · Post by **Grizelda** » Sun May 08, 2005 7:09 am

I think I'm going to have to put sarcasm alerts on my posts here. <sarcasm> Hey, let's really make Johnny on the Spot earn their money this year! Let's put rabid weasels in the potties! </sarcasm>

unjonharley · Post by **unjonharley** » Sun May 08, 2005 8:15 am

Martiansky wrote:Any particular brand of one-ply better then another to bring?

~
The kind that's in the hardware stor toilets is what Johnnys uses. Damn hard on the old hemmies. The Dollor Tree stores sell the kind that has been combed.

Grizelda · Post by **Grizelda** » Sun May 08, 2005 2:57 pm

I think I'm going to have to put sarcasm alerts on my posts here. <sarcasm> Hey, let's really make Johnny on the Spot earn their money this year! Let's put rabid weasels in the potties! </sarcasm>

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Mon May 09, 2005 9:55 am

Griz--I appreciate your need for sarcasm. Nonetheless, Robbidobbs is a hero and does a lot of good for the event with the Potty Patrol. Some newbies need to be told what's what (some may even have to be told what to wipe--we're still researching that.) So while you are allowed your sarcasm, give Robbi a break for her duty to be clear for the unknowing.

robbidobbs · Post by **robbidobbs** » Mon May 16, 2005 12:20 am

Martiansky wrote:Any particular brand of one-ply better then another to bring?

So glad you asked, Marti,
The cheaper, the better. I bring Scott. One roll lasts a whole fucking week.
And that includes the crying events and the "sticky and sloppy sessions" with guests.
It burns nice too.

Oh, and Fishy?
Smooches!!!

robbidobbs · Post by **robbidobbs** » Mon May 16, 2005 12:56 am

othereye wrote:If there is any caroling going on while I'm around I'm SURE to join in. No talent for actually composing songs though. Let me know if the idea goes anywhere, I love it!

Oh I've GOT lyrics. Now it's just a matter of puting them to music.
The other idea is to take classic x-mas carols and fold, spindle and mutilate the lyrics to fit to the issue.

Oh, my that would be painful.
Any takers?

Lassen Forge · Post by **Lassen Forge** » Mon May 16, 2005 10:41 am

Running to the jots
only place to go
but there is no paper,
and it fills you full of woe
Now you've done your thing
and you're stuck inside
and there's not a doggone thing
to go and clean your hide

Paper rolls
Paper rolls
Paper night and day
Just don't cry, it's just one ply
to wipe your tears away

Paper rolls
Paper rolls
better than a bush
Have yourself a paper roll
and go and wipe your tush.

(Sung to Jingle Bells...)

toilet paper shortage in 2004

Toilet Paper - never use the stuff