Post Playa Depression

Badger · Post by **Badger** » Sat Sep 27, 2003 10:46 am

I confess that each time I see Lusty's little face avatar i giggle like a school girl.

Lust4Life · Post by **Lust4Life** » Sat Sep 27, 2003 12:30 pm

[quote="Lydia Love"]

It would, perhaps, be interesting to have a conversation with him. quote]

Talk to me, Lydia.

Lydia Love · Post by **Lydia Love** » Sat Sep 27, 2003 12:31 pm

So fuckin A - your both?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Sep 27, 2003 12:41 pm

jg7e3

Lydia Love · Post by **Lydia Love** » Sat Sep 27, 2003 12:44 pm

That's a fuckin hoot. You realize, don't you, I went into a little rant about both your... personalities last night. Are you also LarryHarveysHat? Cause that would make it three for three...

Regardless... what's with the duck and cover game? I mean it sounds like you wanted everyone to figure it out or something last night.

BurningShadow · Post by **BurningShadow** » Sat Sep 27, 2003 1:05 pm

What about the sadness of not even being able to go cause your poor and have no ride

I wish I could have even a taste of the experiences you guys have. But one day I will triumph!

Lydia Love · Post by **Lydia Love** » Sat Sep 27, 2003 1:12 pm

What about the sadness of not even being able to go cause your poor and have no ride I wish I could have even a taste of the experiences you guys have. But one day I will triumph!

I really have a hard time sympathizing with that sadness. I work my ass off to afford it. I plan way in advance. I save my pennies and I eat lots of the cheap mac 'n' cheese. Soo... y'know good luck in your triumph. We'll see you out there when you do.

shuranuff · Post by **shuranuff** » Sat Sep 27, 2003 1:16 pm

BurnWithin wrote:
What about the sadness of not even being able to go cause your poor and have no ride I wish I could have even a taste of the experiences you guys have. But one day I will triumph!

well, if it makes you feel any better, it took me 5 years to make it to burning man. and La, california [it sucks here], i'm in a beautiful part of the world, on a beautiful day, wishing i was in sucky la with all the fun people. suck factor is definitely a state of mind. with that in mind, i'm going for a run. see you next year on the playa. right?

Lust4Life · Post by **Lust4Life** » Sat Sep 27, 2003 1:28 pm

BurnWithin wrote:
What about the sadness of not even being able to go cause your poor and have no ride I wish I could have even a taste of the experiences you guys have. But one day I will triumph!

That's the spirit. You'll make it. Find some friends here and great forces will come to you. And remember, luck equals preparation and willingness. (I think). Just leave your weapons at home. They'll only weigh you down. I mean, just look around here.

BurningShadow · Post by **BurningShadow** » Sat Sep 27, 2003 1:33 pm

Well with such people that Ive seen here to me it does suck.
Enjoy your run and maybe if Im lucky by next yr i will be on the playa baking my brain out woooo ^_^
And Yeah it kinda does make me feel better Gives me something to work for, *writes it down as a memo "make it to the playa within 5 yrs"*
My neighbors didnt go this yr, hope they go next yr so I can too =^.^=
Ill find me some better weapons out there, yeah big rock! bash things with! woot!
I dont even have mac n cheese, i got a comp i found back in 92, i have about 20 bucks in pennies ive collected. Im working hella hard too!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Sep 27, 2003 1:40 pm

Lydia Love · Post by **Lydia Love** » Sat Sep 27, 2003 3:10 pm

Ill find me some better weapons out there, yeah big rock

You'll have to bring your own big rocks.

BurningShadow · Post by **BurningShadow** » Sat Sep 27, 2003 4:05 pm

Lydia Love wrote:
Ill find me some better weapons out there, yeah big rock
You'll have to bring your own big rocks.

I just found out of something better!

hippie-seeking-death-kites!

BurningShadow · Post by **BurningShadow** » Sat Sep 27, 2003 4:11 pm

Lydia love,

does your pic move?? does mine???
Cause if not im tripping out on the darkness of my room...

Lydia Love · Post by **Lydia Love** » Sat Sep 27, 2003 7:32 pm

The weird thing about all this is I never had that lightning bolt strike out on the playa. No huge revelatory moments. Maybe one moment that felt much more like an oragami bird gently unfolding. Or a soap bubble popping.

Since getting back it's been like a lightning bolt once a week.

shuranuff · Post by **shuranuff** » Sat Sep 27, 2003 11:42 pm

ain't life grand!

Lydia Love · Post by **Lydia Love** » Sat Sep 27, 2003 11:49 pm

ain't life grand!

As my mama says "Isn't life the weirdest thing you've ever seen?"

TheJudge · Post by **TheJudge** » Tue Sep 30, 2003 10:17 am

One of the best ways I've found to overcome PPD is by reading the e-playa. There's a lot of strange, stupid, silly, entertaining and incredibly talented individuals on these forums. It feels exactly like home.

Going to a Mutaytor party this weekend in LA. Matty always kind of guides my soul back to the playa, so I'm looking forward to checking out all the sights and sounds. Time to put life on pause for a few hours and just have fun.

KristieEB · Post by **KristieEB** » Tue Sep 30, 2003 11:41 am

reading eplaya and thinking about decomp parties coming up definitely helps.

i am goig to the santa cruz beach burn this weekend. can't wait!

BlueBirdPoof · Post by **BlueBirdPoof** » Tue Sep 30, 2003 12:12 pm

Flux

I'm not aware of anything I did in either of these relationships that was "wrong," or even that was much different than what I would have done before. If anything, I was only being more fully and truly myself than I would have previously been.

Well, I may be one clueless motherfucker, but eventually even I can take a hint -- and it feels like the hint is, "We liked you better before. Crawl back in your shell, put back up the wall, this so-called "real you" is definitely not what we had in mind."
Flux

Change is a bitch. I don't think you can go back to before, no matter how much you miss it. I've lost friends over similier things before and it sucks. I'm still having arguments in my head with someone over a break-up in Feb/March 2002--all I can say is it's hard to give up a quarter century of connection. But I wasn't willing to give up that new connection with myself to continue to be the lesser person she expected of me.

But it aint easy.

Good luck.[/quote]

Flux · Post by **Flux** » Wed Oct 01, 2003 4:15 pm

Thanks, BlueBirdPoof. It sucks, but it's out of my hands now. If things come back together, great; if not, I'll keep on moving on. It's a strange life, that's for sure.

Kinetic · Post by **Kinetic** » Wed Oct 01, 2003 4:38 pm

Change is a bitch. My decompression this year is like someone dropped an A-Bomb into the middle of my life. It's been 3 weeks since I got home and the first week saw me hit rock bottom. It was ugly, it was horrible. And finally I just said enough. Enough of the bullshit, enough enough, ENOUGH! I've had it, I'm sick of it, and I'm not taking anymore of it.

Since then and with some good motivation from some e-playans to boost the effort I have made lots of changes. I tossed out co-dependant relationships. I tossed ALL of my friends, and I do mean ALL of them. I have my immediate family which is my parents and sister and my g/f and that's it. The others are gone. I got rid of the psycho girlfriends who kept chasing me by finally getting the courage to go face to face and tell them it's not happening, or in one case to get the fuck out of my life and not come back, and if you do come back I have a bond on you that means you get arrested. I hate being nasty, but I did it.

I find out in 30 days if my job stays or goes. I'm already acting like it's gone. I've been out sick the past 3 days with bronchitus, and now that I'm feeling better I'm getting rid of things. I'm going through everything and tossing it, I am considering moving West if I lose my job and can't find work here. So if I don't need it, it's gone. And it's so liberating to get rid of all this crap. I also made peace with the family on some long standing issues, and I was freed from a longstanding promise to help with my sister until she is 18, everyone is now behind me and saying if you need to go, then by all means go.

Why am I posting a TMI post? Maybe someone can get some inspiration from it. And it's also a way of telling some of the e-playans who helped me thanks, the advice worked, the tips paid off. I am really kicking in the afterburners and making changes. I was depressed. I am not depressed anymore.

Flux · Post by **Flux** » Wed Oct 01, 2003 5:04 pm

Kinetic wrote:I was depressed. I am not depressed anymore.

Very cool! Congratulations on making the changes you needed to make. Keep us posted.

Post by **actiongrl** » Wed Oct 01, 2003 9:45 pm

I too will be at the film fest this weekend. Get to see some playa friends that I have been longing to see. Catch some movies, reconnect...it will be good for my soul.

I've also been pursuing a new dream that I began to unearth on the playa. One step toward it, every day. This feels Really. Good.

[/url]

Lydia Love · Post by **Lydia Love** » Wed Oct 01, 2003 10:51 pm

I'm going camping on friday on the beach. Gonna light myself a fire, maybe throw some of these feelings on it.

And then Sat. I'm going to a burner party.

If that doesn't cure some of what ails me fuckall will.

deeohgeeman · Post by **deeohgeeman** » Fri Oct 03, 2003 12:25 pm

I had that Post Playa Depression really bad the first two weeks after I got home. The Eplaya helped, and just plodding through my chores of cleaning and having to finish other projects I dropped before the camping trip really were the only thing that kept me from being a slug. Having a pool to swim in helped immensely too.

Going to lots of little decompression get-togethers also makes a big difference in my life. I'm much more social than I once believed. The first two weeks were rough though. Slept a LOT.

Now, however, I'm finding that the world just seems like an open book to me, or as my aunt Alice would have said: "the world is your oyster, pluck it" ....I feel like I'm pulling pearls out of the air left and right.

My burning man experience has renewed my desire to create, and washed me with the love of a fine community of people, and I feel blessed.

keepthebeat · Post by **keepthebeat** » Fri Oct 03, 2003 5:01 pm

Depression is a natural adjustment to the return from the year's best party. Some of this is irrational and some is very predictable. Alcohol and drugs when used abundantly over a week will set one up for a drop in emotions regardless of where you party. On the other hand, I believe there is something truly magical about BM and when a return to reality without its magic occurs it is natural to feel a little let down.

My word of advice is to not forget the magic, to bring it to your "normal" life and to proceed with the ideas and plans for the future which came to your consciousness while at the Burn.

Keep your dreams alive and don't let anyone tell you different.

keepthebeat

antron · Post by **antron** » Sat Oct 04, 2003 12:21 pm

i just got some post-playa-depressing news. the truck i borrowed to go to burningman got totaled this week. fortunately nobody was hurt, and the suv that hit it had no visible damage.

shit. it was a sweet old toyota truck with a long bed, cap, and v6. plenty of room, plenty of power.

it took years to get it just scruffy enough.

shit. ok. time to get a new plan for playa transport.

thoughtsurfer · Post by **thoughtsurfer** » Sat Oct 04, 2003 3:33 pm

My depression comes and goes...
I actually felt teary reading some of the posts here...I miss the Playa...
the Eplaya definitely helps...
fantasizing about buying an RV for next year is also helpful.
My "Playa-mate" just rolled into town...
we met at the burn last year...
he's the BEST anti-depression remedy!