LNT: What have you done to my people?!

ZaphodBurner · Post by **ZaphodBurner** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 11:28 am

Been camping with my college friends since 1990 now, but this is the first year a bunch of us went to BM together and a dozen of them were virgins.
We were an LNT model camp. Now, wherever they go, I catch them picking up trash...

So on Saturday we're camping and sitting down to a nice grilled stuffed-porkchop campfire meal and one of our deflowered virgins is shaking something large and oval over her plate.

She: "Is this a salt shaker?"

Me, compulsively pickup up tiny bits of old trash around the campfire: "No, it appears to be an air freshener."

She: "Lame."

Me: "Anybody know why we have an air freshener in the middle of the forest?"

Her husband: "No MOOP! I picked it up."

Me: "Somebody left an air freshener in the woods?"

HH: "No, it was in the outhouse. Somebody left it there."

*silence*

Me: "You took an air freshener from the outhouse?!"

HH: "Well, hardly anybody uses it this time of year."

Me: "Your wife is shaking it over her pork chop because it was sitting on the camp table. Did you happen to notice if there was toilet paper in the shitter?"

HH: "There was a little, but not much."

Me: "You didn't take it, did you? I mean...somebody left it there and all..."

Our non-burner friends are convinced I've wrecked our people by subjecting them to Burning Man.

-c

robotland · Post by **robotland** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 12:07 pm

They must have been pretty "wrecked" already, to confuse a salt shaker with an air freshener.....But the deMOOPing reflex is commendable. It's sickening to look out my window at work and see person after person walk by and drop their crap on the sidewalk- We're close to a McDonald's, which is bad enough, but the city cares more for expensive signage and brick inlays on the corners of the sidewalks than they do about putting trashcans where they'd get used. All architecture, and no sociology.

Post by **AntiM** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 1:07 pm

I was in a parking lot at a friend's apartment complex and watched a woman come out her front door, onto the common porch area, and toss an ice cream wrapper over her shoulder.

ZaphodBurner · Post by **ZaphodBurner** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 1:36 pm

AntiM wrote:I was in a parking lot at a friend's apartment complex and watched a woman come out her front door, onto the common porch area, and toss an ice cream wrapper over her shoulder.

Burning Man has definately radicalized my approach to these things. Possible solutions include sticking it under he windshield wiper or superglueing it to her front door.

Post by **AntiM** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 1:45 pm

I'd thought about "educating" her, but I was in a moving vehicle and it seemed a prudent time to be a chicken given what I know about those apartments. I'm not entirely certain I'd approach anyone in that complex if I didn't know them beforehand. I'm not going to risk life and limb for anyone's MOOP. Context, all about context.

Lassen Forge · Post by **Lassen Forge** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 2:10 pm

ZaphodBurner wrote:
AntiM wrote:I was in a parking lot at a friend's apartment complex and watched a woman come out her front door, onto the common porch area, and toss an ice cream wrapper over her shoulder.
Burning Man has definately radicalized my approach to these things. Possible solutions include sticking it under he windshield wiper or superglueing it to her front door.

No, it screams for a combination solution - superglue it to her windshield wiper. Better, get some mirror adhesive epoxy, and epoxy the damn thing to her windshield. Radical Enough??

gottago..
bb

Cabanasprings · Post by **Cabanasprings** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 4:32 pm

Gosh BBS, you are directly related to everyone in the CIA, the FBI, and Homeland Security why don't you just have her erased. And hey if that doesn't work, maybe Z could drown her in a vat of Rootbeer.

ZaphodBurner · Post by **ZaphodBurner** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 4:36 pm

Cabanasprings wrote: And hey if that doesn't work, maybe Z could drown her in a vat of Rootbeer.

When it comes to drowning people, I prefer Crisco.

Ranger Genius · Post by **Ranger Genius** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 5:21 pm

Gotta get it pretty hot, first. And bread their face.

Lassen Forge · Post by **Lassen Forge** » Mon Sep 26, 2005 5:43 pm

Cabanasprings wrote:Gosh BBS, you are directly related to everyone in the CIA, the FBI, and Homeland Security why don't you just have her erased.

Huh???

Cites, please. I gotta see this one. And I'm not talking root beer here. What the f*** does that have to do with what I posted?

ROTFLMAOATSP...

__________

Religious footnotes - apparently the hallucinogen of some of the masses...