your stupid joke here

gravy · Post by **gravy** » Sun Sep 28, 2003 10:28 pm

my vote goes to Clandyone's:
What's the difference between a chicken?
One of its legs are both the same.

somethin' somethin':

How many pancakes can you fit in a doghouse?

None,, because snakes don't have armpits.

ragnar1963 · Post by **ragnar1963** » Mon Sep 29, 2003 5:11 pm

A panda walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. The bartender is surprised but gives him one. The panda finishes it, gets up, and walks away.
"Hey, pal, you have to pay for that."
"No, I don't," replies the panda. "Look it up in the dictionary."
"Whaddya mean, look it up?"
The panda says nothing, but pulls out a gun and fires it at the piano player, killing him.
"WHAT THE--"
"Hey, I don't need any more hassle from you," the panda says. "I'm entitled, look it up."
The bartender is baffled and outraged, but before he can catch him, the panda is gone out the door.

That night the bartender goes to the dictionary. Under the word "panda," he reads:

"Four-legged black and white mammal, native to China. Eats shoots and leaves."

nymphgonebad · Post by **nymphgonebad** » Mon Sep 29, 2003 5:20 pm

ragnar1963 wrote:A panda walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. The bartender is surprised but gives him one. The panda finishes it, gets up, and walks away.
"Hey, pal, you have to pay for that."
"No, I don't," replies the panda. "Look it up in the dictionary."
"Whaddya mean, look it up?"
The panda says nothing, but pulls out a gun and fires it at the piano player, killing him.
"WHAT THE--"
"Hey, I don't need any more hassle from you," the panda says. "I'm entitled, look it up."
The bartender is baffled and outraged, but before he can catch him, the panda is gone out the door.

That night the bartender goes to the dictionary. Under the word "panda," he reads:

"Four-legged black and white mammal, native to China. Eats shoots and leaves."

lmao my brother!

Taniwha · Post by **Taniwha** » Mon Sep 29, 2003 5:27 pm

ragnar1963 wrote: Eats shoots and leaves."

We have varients of that joke in New Zealand (and probably Australia too)- the punch line is "eats roots and leaves" .... but to us "root" is a synonym for "fuck" so the final meaning is a little different ....

J · Post by J » Mon Sep 29, 2003 9:23 pm

How do you stop a clown from laughing?
Hit him in the face with an axe.

nymphgonebad · Post by **nymphgonebad** » Mon Sep 29, 2003 11:31 pm

vonfunk wrote:How do you stop a clown from laughing?
Hit him in the face with an axe.

you're making me laugh out loud, monkey man!

JezebelinHell · Post by **JezebelinHell** » Tue Sep 30, 2003 2:30 am

Crisis situation narrowly avoided at Macy's:
The U.S. army issued a formal apology to all the workers and customer's of a local Macy's on Friday, after it was explained to President Bush that the ad said they had, "Bed Linen" on the third floor.

Give it a minute, you'll get it.

JezebelinHell · Post by **JezebelinHell** » Tue Sep 30, 2003 2:36 am

q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
a: Wanna go ride bikes?

Lydia Love · Post by **Lydia Love** » Tue Sep 30, 2003 8:53 am

q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
a: Wanna go ride bikes?

<SNORT!>

Last Real Burner · Post by **Last Real Burner** » Tue Sep 30, 2003 9:17 am

Borris wrote:Jono: we have our own jokes on this topic, unfourtunatley they are mostly hebrew wordplay. The word piece in hebrew is also slang for a good looking female/male. This is a large base for jokes about suicide bombers.

Two Rabbi's walk into a bar...

unknowingly,
mr smith

DogBoy · Post by **DogBoy** » Wed Oct 01, 2003 7:06 pm

Two Irishmen walk out of a bar...

Kinetic · Post by **Kinetic** » Wed Oct 01, 2003 7:12 pm

DogBoy wrote:Two Irishmen walk out of a bar...

That's not a joke, that's impossible.

PJ · Post by PJ » Wed Oct 01, 2003 7:17 pm

1,356,253,766 Chinese walk into a bar...

DogBoy · Post by **DogBoy** » Wed Oct 01, 2003 9:21 pm

2 DPW guys run out of beer...

JonoVision · Post by **JonoVision** » Sat Oct 04, 2003 9:32 am

alice wrote:
JonoVision wrote:How many bull dykes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

THAT'S NOT FUNNY!

unless you're a bull-dyke, you can't make jokes about them.

<SNORT!> Yeah right! Try and stop me!

rodent · Post by **rodent** » Sat Oct 04, 2003 11:11 am

How do you make your grandmother say a dirty word?

Have her best friend shout "BINGO!"

rodent (putting the eek in geek)
"There's not a word yet,
for old friends, who just met"
-Gonzo, "I'm Going to go Back There Someday"

antron · Post by **antron** » Sat Oct 04, 2003 12:12 pm

what do you do with an elephant with three balls?

walk him and pitch to the giraffe.

Captain Goddammit · Post by **Captain Goddammit** » Sun Oct 05, 2003 12:38 am

What do you call a gay dinosaur?

A Megasore-ass.

OregonRed · Post by **OregonRed** » Sun Oct 05, 2003 2:40 pm

A lesbian dinosaur is a Lickalotapuss.

toktomi · Post by **toktomi** » Thu Oct 09, 2003 12:07 am

and the 2002 joke of the year...

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket, where she selected a quart of milk, a carton of eggs, juice, and a package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyer belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her, watched as she placed her items in front of the cashier.

He said, "You must be single."

The woman, a bit startled, but intrigued, looked at her four items on the belt, and seeing nothing particularly unusual about her selections said, "Well, ya know, that's right, but how on earth did you know that?

The drunk said, "Cuz you're uglier 'n shit."

THE ORIGINAL DIGIMAN · Post by **THE ORIGINAL DIGIMAN** » Thu Oct 09, 2003 12:13 am

a pic of digiman

i've had too much hemlock.

Blenderhead · Post by **Blenderhead** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 3:39 pm

Question: What does a Fucktard who now owns a case of babywipes, hundreds of square feet of camo netting and several hundred glowsticks do now that they realize they have no space to store this shit for the next 11 months?

Answer: The get really fucking drunk, that's what they do.

alice · Post by **alice** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 3:44 pm

Blenderhead wrote:Question: What does a Fucktard who now owns a case of babywipes, hundreds of square feet of camo netting and several hundred glowsticks do now that they realize they have no space to store this shit for the next 11 months?

Answer: The get really fucking drunk, that's what they do.

hey blenderhead -
i'm in the east bay and have a big-ass garage. plenty of room to store your crap, along with everyone else's.

DE FACTO · Post by **DE FACTO** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 3:47 pm

antron wrote:what do you do with an elephant with three balls?

start a pawnshop

that avatar is awsome no joke antron

Blenderhead · Post by **Blenderhead** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 3:51 pm

alice wrote:
Blenderhead wrote:Question: What does a Fucktard who now owns a case of babywipes, hundreds of square feet of camo netting and several hundred glowsticks do now that they realize they have no space to store this shit for the next 11 months?

Answer: The get really fucking drunk, that's what they do.
hey blenderhead -
i'm in the east bay and have a big-ass garage. plenty of room to store your crap, along with everyone else's.

Many thanks for the offer, Princess! I may have to take you up on that once I start accumulating PVC and tarps for my shade structure.

Happy Decom weekend, everyone. See you Sunday.

Don Muerto · Post by **Don Muerto** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 8:23 pm

Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A: A stick

alice · Post by **alice** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 8:30 pm

why was farrah always running?

because no one turned the faucet off.

Don Muerto · Post by **Don Muerto** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 8:32 pm

J wrote:How do you stop a clown from laughing?
Hit him in the face with an axe.

FUCK! I just shot water out my nose!

DE FACTO · Post by **DE FACTO** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 8:35 pm

very cool avatars. no joking

......................

DUH FECTO · Post by **DUH FECTO** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 9:04 pm

>very cool avatars

THAT JOKE WAS VERY STUPID. THIS IS THE FORUM FOR YOU. STAY HERE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR OBEISANCE. THAT IS ALL.

your stupid joke here

rock!

Hummna Hummna Hummna...

Joke Grenade

Re: Joke Grenade

Impossible, eh?

mo mo mo