Make up your own accusation against the BMorg thread!

[MoisturePup]

I accuse the BMorg of killing Col. Mustard in the Star Wagon with an el-wire noose!

[theCryptofishist]

I hear that Danger Ranger is so jelous of David Best that he spends $100 a month buying cards to build card houses to burn down.

[dragonfly Jafe]

There is no such thing as people behind the BMorg - it is all a device created by Satan to make everyone think they are attending an Art Festival instead of an Evil Ritual.

(your ticket money is spent funding public TV, another device of Satan)

[spectabillis]

Thats not true, there are bmorg members....

Members of MY CULT!

[dragonfly Jafe]

Cultaspectabillis?

[MrMullen]

I hear that the only reason that California has a no women topless law is so that we don't have to see Larry Harvey's man boobs.

[spectabillis]

I hear that the only reason that California has a no women topless law is so that we don't have to see Larry Harvey's man boobs.

ouch.

Cultaspectabillis?

cut spectabillis? better than being stormed by the ATF.

[Chai Guy]

Cultaspectabillis?

Oooohhhh I think I have my theme camp for next year!

anyone know where I can score some Morrissey wigs?

[CLARKcon]

We are all actually out in the desert right now, except the BMorg has cleverly built a virtual reality that looks like our home, our stuff, and we are just imagining sitting in front of our computer's reading a *forum (*mind control device) called the "eplaya". Whilst our bodies are currentily becoming dehydrated and severly sunburned right now as I imagine to type, the evil scientists behind the organization thought it more profitable to build a simple dome structure to house our bodies and just spend $4.95 on a USB cable to connect into the back of our heads, as opposed to spending the millions of dollars it would take to actually build a temporary city from dirt. I mean, come on! WAKE UP! 40,000 people of all origins co-existing peacefully in a harsh, inhospitable environment while simutanousily broadening their artistic, emotional, and humanitarian horizons...for a week? Yeah- Like THAT could really happen...

[Rockdad]

Announcements
Read-only messages from the Burning Man Staff 24 37 Update in Process
Tue Dec 13, 2005 3:22 pm
spanky

My accusation is that BMORG will actually update the announcements section some time in 2006

[lurker]

What if the BMorg was actually luring people to Black Rock City this year to feed them into giant meat grinders in order to make hundreds of millions of plump tasty sausages?

Would that be wrong? Would there be anything one could do? Would you prefer mustard or ketchup on that?

[CLARKcon]

I heard this years event is actually a massive ploy to reinitiate Richard Simmons as the guru of rocking excersise's by televising the event live as "Sweating to the Newbies-BURN,carbs,BURN!" Once inside, you have to pay twice your ticket price to leave early...

[montana wildhack]

them mofos stole my thighmaster!!!!!! grrrrr!!!!!

[spectabillis]

Oooohhhh I think I have my theme camp for next year! anyone know where I can score some Morrissey wigs?

emo asylum camp

[theCryptofishist]

I;ve heard from a friend who heard it from his cousin who works with someone who lives in the same building that a prominant BMORG member's sister lives in that the LLC and Soylent Green camp have already secretly merged and will be starting up a health food in late September. They will produce tasteless protein bars. I don't know where they are getting thier proteins.

[Rockdad]

Heard that BMORG is spraying the whole Playa with a special pesticide to keep the Cryptofishist's from crawling out of the mud this spring to breed.

[theCryptofishist]

Thanks for the tip, rockdad!


(note to self, wear pesticide--proof still suit if I go to the playa this year.)

[MoisturePup]

Thanks for the tip, rockdad!


(note to self, wear pesticide--proof still suit if I go to the playa this year.)

I heard that the man lived as a woman for nearly 355 days one year.

[theCryptofishist]

I heard that he beat himself up while he was doing it!

[spectabillis]

I heard that he beat himself up while he was doing it!

oh gawd, big crush on that one.

[blueniteowl]

I bet it was with a shoe, a big beautiful platform.

[CLARKcon]

I can't BELIEVE what I saw the other night. At 2 o'clock in the morning, I watched an informercial: Appears that the BMorg is teaming up with cosmetic company Revlon to market a new age/wrinkle/everything defining-concealing revitalizing skin mask mud facial peel(with added Vitamin C). The new product, "Blaze-06", reportably provides your face a more taught, firm, and instantly sun burned apperance only after a couple applications. The working ingredients found in the cream (playa dust, collagen, aloe vera, and WD-40) react for an intense, yet, mildly soothing caustic paste, clearing layers upon layers of old (& new) skin layers for that "just fresh out of Hell's Kitchen" look (amazingly popular wth B-rated HollyWood performers and washed up super models). The kit goes for three payments of $19.99. Unfortunatily, due to demand and the high manufacturing cost (It takes 10 pounds of playa dust to make 1 lb. of the cream), the BMorg is targeting and needs every single one of us out in the desert this year to grind the dirt for the corporation, and is strategically marketing the program with slogans like
"A warm summer breeze is like a day with no face...Blaze-06"
"Made strong enough for a burner, but made for spectators"
"Burning? Why wait!"

[MoisturePup]

I demand to know if there is any truth that The Machine was nothing more than a way for the BMorg to harness free electricity from the attendees

[theCryptofishist]

The Machine was pleinty more than that. They were scanning us with radio waves to see which of our organs were ready for harvest--plus getting good jpegs to sell on secret organ selling site OBay.

Some burners have woken up in their tents without kidneys, spleens and in one case, only one lung.

[MoisturePup]

The Machine was pleinty more than that. They were scanning us with radio waves to see which of our organs were ready for harvest--plus getting good jpegs to sell on secret organ selling site OBay.

Some burners have woken up in their tents without kidneys, spleens and in one case, only one lung.

OMG! I heard about that!!! They were left in their evap pound with a note saying "call 911 your kidney has been taken and you only have one hour to live!!"

At least they're practicing Leave No Trace by not letting the victims bleed on the playa.

[CLARKcon]

THIS JUST IN: BMorg has contacted the Guiness Book of World Records with the idea that, come this September, they will have erected the World's Largest Snowglobe. The plans include to make a immensily large clear glass shell (900 ft. high x 5 mile circumfrence) to cover the event, and then proceed to fill the globe with the nessecery amount of water (roughly estimated at around 185,000 + gallons). When GBoWR asked how they would shake it, they said 'quote' "15 tons of high explosive's placed underneath The Man...duh." Essentially this would make a whirlpool, and the forty-thousand "participants" would be the small flakes inside making a temporary dusty winter wonderland for approx. 15 seconds before the shell broke, long enough to secure a place in the record books for eon's to come. A meeting is scheduled for later next month...

[CLARKcon]

CURRENTILY IN PROGRESS: The proposed structuring for the Theme Camp Layout Schematic is all follows- Instead of the traditional location of the first three city streets, and in oppisition of the confusion between the 4:30/7:30 Split design, the BMorg, with world reknowned architect Frank O. Gehry, have designed a logical and space-utilized concept sketch: The BMTC Building & Parking Center. The idea is, instead of sprawling out the camps, why not project and extend them upwards towards the sky? The building takes a mere one BRC block for the foundation, and raises neary 75 stories high to accomadate each individual Theme Camp per floor. When constructed, that would also make this the tallest non-permanant building not only in Nevada, but in the U.S. Also helping to aide space consumption is the multi-tier Parking Garage. This helps the folks who just want to spend a relaxing weekend without setting up camp, and also allows them easy passage to the access road during the Exodus the following Sunday/Monday, assuring them to be the first ones out of the city and back to their jobs and current Universities. Look for a follow-up commencment and views of the BRC 06' City Map in the coming weeks...

[CLARKcon]

THE UNITY EFFECT-NEW LOOK FOR 06': At a recent BMorg meeting, the highly debated and controversial "11th Principle" was passed unamiousily without further discussion from participants, legal represenatives or eplayians. The principles (see 10 Principles) currientily in place are the rough guidelines for a civil co-existence and governing outline, and the new "Radical-Self Mandatory Attire" principle compliments this structuring. You may notice something a little different this year at the gates. When you are supplied your BRC map, window decal, and Event listings guide, you may notice "the clothing". The greeters will disburse (2) one-piece body jumper suits for each person, with an option to purchase more if lost,stolen, burned or ruined. They are made from 50/50 cotton/spandex, are uni-gendered and one-size fits all, and are MANDATORY to wear during the week long escapade to allow admittance into this year's festival. The garments are dual purpose, as the color is only available in Playa Creamish-BrownTM, as the organizers explain it adds to the experience of becoming one with your fellow human as well as striving to mimic and embrace the visual desert environment for higher survivability rates against nightime predators such as wolves, aggresive Jack Rabbits, and your friends. The rule is explained is as follows: "With any new idea(s) that's initiated in a communal living atmosphere, the strive is that of peace and uniformity throughout (even if at first there is resistance), in order to sacrifice our ego's and differences for the larger wholeness to balance once again. That's why the soceity of BRC practices the attire code and expects the same from their neighbors, replicating the positive interaction like that of private schools and monasteries- to make the whole appear (visually) as one. No participant will be admitted without wearing the given presented fabrics." There will be a more formal locked posting on Burning Man's "eplaya" in early March, and the suits will be made available for home delievery (with proof of ticket purchase) to allow the wearer transition time to become comfortable...

[CLARKcon]

A participant models the new body suit...

[Zhust]

The BM Org sold BMIR to ClearChannel.