The Bar
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CLARKcon
- Posts: 2460
- Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 12:58 am
- Burning Since: 2002
- Camp Name: COFFEE CAMP
- Location: Somewhere between here & there <3
So, I'm making a chapbook, and here is a poem out of it. Please, constructive criticism away! Feedback is always good. Whattadya like? Dislike? Thoughts? Coffee?
(CLARKcon stands on bar table, and reads aloud:
Crush
And I stayed up all night and through the morn
to find the beauty of what this could be
And to my surprise, I would find no comply, no answer or thoughts
to the hunger and the push that I, we, and they
so constantily abused and strived to encompass and
attain. It was then that a light so thin grazed my
imaginary eye and proceeded to release the pressures
of pent up aggressions of searching the modern world.
"You're tired, dear, come back to bed" a voice fainted
in the distance and a shoulder glance revealed the
silloutte of an angel with wings of honesty, the purity,
and every drop of sincerity I desperatily seeked from
humanity but had I failed so miserably before. I grasped
her hand and she lead me to the shores and
past the woods, and the cemetaries laden with the stones
of ages past...I realized then that the angel was a
messenger of future consequences to act upon my heart, to
live the rest of my wills until I, too, was buried beneath
the Earth. I thanked the phantom, and then too drifted into
oblivion, the dreamers keep. I feel asleep and asked
"Was it a crush?"
(P.S.---I'm an Open Mic director here in my town! At a bar, nonetheless...
)
(CLARKcon stands on bar table, and reads aloud:
Crush
And I stayed up all night and through the morn
to find the beauty of what this could be
And to my surprise, I would find no comply, no answer or thoughts
to the hunger and the push that I, we, and they
so constantily abused and strived to encompass and
attain. It was then that a light so thin grazed my
imaginary eye and proceeded to release the pressures
of pent up aggressions of searching the modern world.
"You're tired, dear, come back to bed" a voice fainted
in the distance and a shoulder glance revealed the
silloutte of an angel with wings of honesty, the purity,
and every drop of sincerity I desperatily seeked from
humanity but had I failed so miserably before. I grasped
her hand and she lead me to the shores and
past the woods, and the cemetaries laden with the stones
of ages past...I realized then that the angel was a
messenger of future consequences to act upon my heart, to
live the rest of my wills until I, too, was buried beneath
the Earth. I thanked the phantom, and then too drifted into
oblivion, the dreamers keep. I feel asleep and asked
"Was it a crush?"
(P.S.---I'm an Open Mic director here in my town! At a bar, nonetheless...
)
COFFEE CAMP : "The Social Hub of the Uncivilized World"
.:
)'( 2023 // 7:30 & "G" Plaza :.
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Bin Noddin
- Posts: 3097
- Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2005 11:00 pm
- Location: Silver Spring, MD
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Kinetic IV
- Posts: 2977
- Joined: Sun Apr 03, 2005 7:34 pm
- Location: Kyiv, Ukraine as of 10/27/06
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blueniteowl
- Posts: 2885
- Joined: Wed Dec 15, 2004 4:45 am
- Location: found in dust
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LeChatNoir
- Posts: 5907
- Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2003 8:52 am
- Location: Louisville, Ky
(Walks in the bar with his fur all rubbed up the wrong way, one ear turned inside out, and a tin can tied to his tail)
*clank clunk*
Somebody thought it’d be cute if they “played” with me earlier. Nice...
I need a beer and then I’m going to bed.
*clank clunk* (over to the cooler)
(Rummaging)
I knew there’d be a PBR in here. Happy V-day yall!!
*clank clunk clunk clank*
*clank clunk*
Somebody thought it’d be cute if they “played” with me earlier. Nice...
I need a beer and then I’m going to bed.
*clank clunk* (over to the cooler)
(Rummaging)
I knew there’d be a PBR in here. Happy V-day yall!!
*clank clunk clunk clank*
The New and Improved Black Cat... now with 25% more blather
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spectabillis
- Posts: 3527
- Joined: Mon Mar 29, 2004 11:07 pm
- Burning Since: 2022
- Location: black rock city