The Bar
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CLARKcon
- Posts: 2460
- Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 12:58 am
- Burning Since: 2002
- Camp Name: COFFEE CAMP
- Location: Somewhere between here & there <3
(CLARKcon stands on the bar table with a megaphone) MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTIOn, PLEASE...IS THERE A BIN HERE? A BIN NODDIN AVAILABLE? YOUR CONVERSATION IS REQUIRED IN "THE BAR"...THANK YOU. (sits back down quietily to drink java)
COFFEE CAMP : "The Social Hub of the Uncivilized World"
.:
)'( 2023 // 7:30 & "G" Plaza :.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzuBeRpLaYa wrote:"Because the opportunity my online archenemy gave to me is too good to ignore!"
yOu ShOuLd bE CaReFuL kInEtIK, tHe sToCkHoLm sYnDrOmE wOrKs iN strAnGe wAyS sOmEtImEs
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
(sound of two things flying over cock's head)
me too!uBeRpLaYa wrote:
"Because the opportunity my online archenemy gave to me is too good to ignore!"
yOu ShOuLd bE CaReFuL kInEtIK, tHe sToCkHoLm sYnDrOmE wOrKs iN strAnGe wAyS sOmEtImEs
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
(sound of two things flying over cock's head)
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CLARKcon
- Posts: 2460
- Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 12:58 am
- Burning Since: 2002
- Camp Name: COFFEE CAMP
- Location: Somewhere between here & there <3
Nice BC. Oop, here comes one:
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into a bar in Alabama. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?" The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an owly-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!" The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down.She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?" Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!" The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "I say, old chap, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her the ballerina?" The drunk replied, "any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!"
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into a bar in Alabama. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?" The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an owly-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!" The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down.She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?" Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!" The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "I say, old chap, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her the ballerina?" The drunk replied, "any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!"
COFFEE CAMP : "The Social Hub of the Uncivilized World"
.:
)'( 2023 // 7:30 & "G" Plaza :.-
CLARKcon
- Posts: 2460
- Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 12:58 am
- Burning Since: 2002
- Camp Name: COFFEE CAMP
- Location: Somewhere between here & there <3
Thanks Mozy. Uh oh, what'S this? Looks like there's something in my sleeve,,,uh ...oopps!
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single." The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?" The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single." The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?" The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."
COFFEE CAMP : "The Social Hub of the Uncivilized World"
.:
)'( 2023 // 7:30 & "G" Plaza :.-
Kinetic IV
- Posts: 2977
- Joined: Sun Apr 03, 2005 7:34 pm
- Location: Kyiv, Ukraine as of 10/27/06
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CLARKcon
- Posts: 2460
- Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 12:58 am
- Burning Since: 2002
- Camp Name: COFFEE CAMP
- Location: Somewhere between here & there <3
Yeah, but I must confess, I borrowed them from ebaumsworld.com. (Forgive me father, for I have sinned...) Snap... BC, Mozy, I'm out for the night. Have a good one. Will drop that link in here tomorrow! Night!
(CLARKcon grabs 34 oz. jumbo cup of java, grabs an o'dourve from the bar table, and goes outside into the windstorm of creativity...)
(CLARKcon grabs 34 oz. jumbo cup of java, grabs an o'dourve from the bar table, and goes outside into the windstorm of creativity...)
COFFEE CAMP : "The Social Hub of the Uncivilized World"
.:
)'( 2023 // 7:30 & "G" Plaza :.-
Kinetic IV
- Posts: 2977
- Joined: Sun Apr 03, 2005 7:34 pm
- Location: Kyiv, Ukraine as of 10/27/06
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Bin Noddin
- Posts: 3097
- Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2005 11:00 pm
- Location: Silver Spring, MD
I hear ya, I hear ya, Clark C. Put the megaphone down. I stay away for a few hours and the thread grows by six pages that need reading. Give me a bourbon and I will tell you why I'm sad tonight. My friend Ron H told me today that he was diagnosed with cancer and will go to the hospital tomorrow to be poked and probed so the docs can figure out whether to operate or go to chemo. Send the good wishes his way, all you guys who partied with him on Folsom and on the Russian River, all you guys whose lives he saved, all you who are touched by his love. He came here to Washington about 5 years ago, wandered into my wife's store and we became friends. He bought a blue suit, went for interviews, was offered jobs in the government's AIDS bureaucracy - and decided that cubicle world would be death. He opened a card store on our block. Big success. On his 50th birthday, 3 years ago, he told us his life would no longer be governed by AIDS. He opened a second store, two blocks from the capitol. Big success again. But they're more than stores - community meeting places, controversial art galleries, he says "feel the love" and it really happens. He was smiling when he told me - burly 53 year old man with a beautiful kid's smile. I'm upset. I could go vent on the "Fuck!" or cancer survivor's threads, but I'm dumping on you, my virtual drinking buddies. Shit! Send the good wishes his way, all you guys who partied with him on Folsom and on the Russian River, all you guys whose lives he saved, all you who are touched by his love. I'll drink now and shut up. Thanks for listening.
"I have gobs of mustard and ketchup on the front of my shirt, which does not make me a hot dog." Sam A. McKeen
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Lassen Forge
- Posts: 5320
- Joined: Tue Feb 22, 2005 9:35 pm
- Location: Where it's always... Wednesday. Don't lose your head over it.
Sending him prayers and wishes of good fortune and health, and thoughts of healing energy. And you as well.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I must bend ol' Clark over the back of the DoomDome chair and exact a suitable pennance for his sins...
>putting on a nun's habit and pulling out a rather large riding crop...<
________
Just be glad it isn't a ruler...
Now, if you'll excuse me, I must bend ol' Clark over the back of the DoomDome chair and exact a suitable pennance for his sins...
>putting on a nun's habit and pulling out a rather large riding crop...<
________
Just be glad it isn't a ruler...