What are women about, really?

can't sit still · Post by **can't sit still** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 7:44 pm

Big Cock, I agree with you. We all know that there are exceptions to everything. But, If I say that women want to be respected and valued, it's obviously a generalisation,,,,but it slights no one.

The choices are; say nothing, generalise, or list every case in the universe.
I generalise. I prefer to see the best in people. I wrote that that woman was giving her undivided attention to every person that she conversed with. I find that if I go around expecting the worst from people,,,people are often more likely to respond as expected.

More generalisations; people want to be loved, but often won't put out the effort to make themselves "lovable"
Many people hold on tightly to every facet of themselves and expect the other person to change to accomodate them.
Most people who want a long term relationship are looking for some one with depth of character so that they'll hang in there through the bad times and the changes.
It does no harm to generalise mentally about the great mass of people if you'll take the time to be open minded about each and every individual that you come into contact with.
Every person has a life history unfolded behind them. Every history is different so every person wants different elements in their future.
Security is often at the top of the list for women.
It does no harm to ignore what the media thinks your proper attitude should be.
I don't believe that it harms anyone to generalise positively.
Dan

Lassen Forge · Post by **Lassen Forge** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 7:56 pm

Ya know (my connections sucky, so this will be short)...

It's things like what I read above (ok, the last page) that really make me love guys like Heli... and BC... and Moz.

There's a lot of men out there. Some are really awesome.

And I'm proud to call them my friends.

BTW... forgiveness is easy. So is love.

And... if you're gonna try to bullshit your way into being something you're not close to, maybe you ought to know something about it. For if you really are - you're in the wrong place. As wrong as it gets. Dare ask me how I would know...

Off to other trouble... after all... it's Fat Tuesday! >giggles<

bb

BigCock · Post by **BigCock** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 7:59 pm

can't sit still wrote:It does no harm to generalise mentally about the great mass of people if you'll take the time to be open minded about each and every individual that you come into contact with.

... and if you can do so respectfully, positively, clearly and poetically throughout your life, I think that would be a good definition of a good life.

HughMungus · Post by **HughMungus** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 8:22 pm

BigCock wrote:
HughMungus wrote:Because positive stereotypes are just as stupid and faulty as negative ones and because if you allow positive ones, you are inviting negative ones, also. For example, why is it OK to say, "Women are loving, caring, nurturers" but not OK to say "Women are bitchy, moody and spiteful"? Both are stereotypes. Is the positive one more valid than the negative one just because it doesn't offend anybody?
The difference is the very positiveness of the one and the negativeness of the other. Absolute applicability doesn't matter as much as uplifting unity.

HughMungus wrote:The positive stereotype is also wrong because it sets up expectations that a group or person might not want to live up to. It replaces what you want people to expect from you with what someone else thinks they should expect from you.
... and if someone can pull that off in a way that works for a lot of people like Heli did, it makes lots of people shed tears of joy and love.

Being absolutely universally correct at the expense of creating joy and love is a choice. And not a particularly beautiful one. It may seem stupid, naive or exclusive to honestly state a positive stereotype, but when those moments in your life come when you let go, cross over and feel it ...

[/i]

Yes, those moments are created by individuals who should be viewed as individuals, not as members of a group you expect to act one way or another.

helitack · Post by **helitack** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 8:27 pm

Hey "Mister I am correct about everything and going to prove it". There is a bottle of something for you in the bar and a toast too. Have a nice read.

SED · Post by **SED** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 8:32 pm

I think it's neccesary to generalize, particularly when it comes to gender. For example, if a man doesn't assume that generally, women prefer not to be subject to aggressive sexual advances, he's gonna have problems. Likewise, if we don't broadly assume that unattached men who display lingering, personal interest in our children at the park are creepy, there may be some harm done.

The subject of gender is what makes this issue touchy, but I don't see it as substantially different from any other form of generalization. Nobody has a problem with someone generally avoiding dog shit in their cornflakes, although to say that eating that will always make you sick is probably not strictly true.

The evidence abundant. Generally, fire elf's posts have been semi-coherent, narcissistic, and juvenile. But is he a bad person? We may never know, because generally, we don't care.

In my opinion, a generalizing is a neutral behavior, until one begins to confine others to narrow definitions they can't escape.

I can I just add that there aint nothin' like a dame.

SED · Post by **SED** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 8:33 pm

All together now!

Sailors, Seabees and Marines:
We got sunlight on the sand,
We got moonlight on the sea,
We got mangoes and bananas
You can pick right off the tree,
We got volleyball and ping-pong
And a lot of dandy games!
What ain't we got?
We ain't got dames!

We get packages from home,
We get movies, we get shows,
We get speeches from our skipper
And advice from Tokyo Rose,
We get letters doused with perfume
We get dizzy from the smell!
What don't we get?
You know darn well!

We have nothin' to put on a clean white suit for
What we need is what there ain't no substitute for...

There is nothin' like a dame,
Nothin' in the world,
There is nothin' you can name
That is anythin' like a dame!

We feel restless, we feel blue,
We feel lonely and in grief,
We feel ev'ry kind of feelin',
But the feelin' of relief
We feel hungry as the wolf felt
When he met Red Hiding-hood
What don't we feel?
We don't feel good!

Lots of things in life are beautiful, but brother,
There is one particular thing that is nothin' whatsoever
In any way, shape or form like any other.

There is nothin' like a dame,
Nothin' in the world,
There is nothin' you can name
That is anythin' like a dame!

Nothin' else was built the same,
Nothin' in the world
As the soft and wavy frame
Like the silhouette of a dame!

There is absolutely nothin' like a frame of a dame.

So suppose that dame and bride
Are completely free from flaws,
Or as faithful as a bird dog,
Or as kind as Santa Claus,
It's a waste of time to worry
Over things that they have not,
We're thankful for the things they got!

There is nothin' you can name
That is anythin' like a dame!

There are no books like a dame,
And nothin' looks like a dame.
There are no drinks like a dame,
And nothin' thinks like a dame,
Nothin' acts like a dame,
Or attracts like a dame.
There ain't a thing that's wrong with any man here
That can't be cured by pullin' him near
A girly, womanly, female, feminine dame!

HughMungus · Post by **HughMungus** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 8:40 pm

helitack wrote:Hey "Mister I am correct about everything and going to prove it". There is a bottle of something for you in the bar and a toast too. Have a nice read.

Just pointing out a few things for the (seemingly) less-educated. Sorry if I hurt your feelings.

BigCock · Post by **BigCock** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 8:51 pm

HughMungus wrote:Just pointing out a few things for the (seemingly) less-educated.

After all the above for you to post that shows YOU are pretty uneducated HughMungus.

the fire elf · Post by **the fire elf** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 8:53 pm

SED wrote: The evidence abundant. Generally, fire elf's posts have been semi-coherent, narcissistic, and juvenile. But is he a bad person? We may never know, because generally, we don't care.

you say 'we' as you sit on the other end of a network of computer and electronic connections...

you classify my personae on the basis of words shot across space, while each of us has developed unique interpretations of those words based on our unique experience in life...

you write me off...you don't care...

i'm still ok with that...

there are people who love me...

there are people who hate me...

it will not impede my efforts or hurt my feelings whichever rank you choose to align yourself with...

i consider my enemies just as valuable as my friends...

be you woman or be you man, harboring love or disdain, finding yourself in need or satiated with your desires

your labels don't stick to my frame of mind.

i love myself

and i love women

that's enough for me

Kinetic IV · Post by **Kinetic IV** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 8:55 pm

Sheesh. Someone else on the receiving end of the eplaya firing line....I've been there and now I'm guilty of taking some pot shots myself.

FireElf, I'm sorry. I didn't get it....until that last post. Damn.

the fire elf · Post by **the fire elf** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 9:34 pm

what's done is done...

Rockdad · Post by **Rockdad** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 9:44 pm

What are women about really? Maybe what do women want really?....I have been married and divorced. I have had some very beautiful women in my life. I am single now by choice I want to work on me now because I believe the next relationship will be the last and I want it to be the best.. The one thing I am most proud of is they all still love me, care about me and we will always be friends.

Am I a expert hell no but what I think the answer for to this question for me is..

Confidence

A confident man not a macho man, not a always right man, not a cocky shit disturber, just a Confident man.

Confident enough to love
Confident enough to accept love
Confident enough to stand up for what he believes
Confident enough to say he was wrong
Confident enough to get mushy
Confident enough to be passionate
Confident enough to buy flowers
Confident enough to take charge
Confident enough to let her take charge
Confident enough to stand up for her
Confident enough to accept her
Confident enough to try
Confident enough to fail
Confident enough to cry
Confident enough to laugh
Confident enough not to laugh
Confident enough to do what's right
Confident enough to let her have friends
Confident enough to trust her
Confident enough to ask her
Confident enough to listen
Confident enough to forgive
Confident enough to believe in her
Confident enough to let her win
Confident enough to change
Confident enough to defend her
Confident enough to walk away
Confident enough to try it her way
Confident enough to open a door for her
Confident enough to wash dishes
Confident enough to change a tire
Confident enough to start a fire
Confident enough to plant a garden

Not afraid she is smarter
Not afraid she is stronger
Not afraid of her sexuality
Not afraid of her emotions
Not afraid of intimacy

Confident enough to kiss her goodnight every night

Confident enough to tell her she is the most beautiful women in the world in front of the whole world everyday and confident enough to believe it.

joel the ornery · Post by **joel the ornery** » Wed Mar 01, 2006 4:32 am

uBeRpLaYa wrote:LiKe i sAiD, a fIeLd tRiP wOuLd bE nEcEsSaRy

field trip?

Jan 15 '07... my 50th birthday in Las Vegas!

Post by **AntiM** » Wed Mar 01, 2006 8:24 am

Hey ... 19 Jan 07 ... my 50th, AND I have access to condos in Las Vegas.

tisha2 · Post by **tisha2** » Wed Mar 01, 2006 11:55 am

IMO, Rockdad just wrote the book.

*mwah*

SED · Post by **SED** » Wed Mar 01, 2006 2:36 pm

[quote="Rockdad"]Confident enough to cry
Confident enough to laughquote]

It takes a big man to cry
But it takes a bigger man to laugh at him for it.

-Jack Handy

Bin Noddin · Post by **Bin Noddin** » Wed Mar 01, 2006 9:51 pm

"It takes a lot to laugh - it takes a train to cry" Bob Dylan

the fire elf · Post by **the fire elf** » Wed Mar 01, 2006 10:36 pm

*giggle*

HughMungus · Post by **HughMungus** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 2:30 pm

Rockdad wrote:What are women about really? Maybe what do women want really?....I have been married and divorced. I have had some very beautiful women in my life. I am single now by choice I want to work on me now because I believe the next relationship will be the last and I want it to be the best.. The one thing I am most proud of is they all still love me, care about me and we will always be friends.

Am I a expert hell no but what I think the answer for to this question for me is..

Confidence

A confident man not a macho man, not a always right man, not a cocky shit disturber, just a Confident man.

Confident enough to love
Confident enough to accept love
Confident enough to stand up for what he believes
Confident enough to say he was wrong
Confident enough to get mushy
Confident enough to be passionate
Confident enough to buy flowers
Confident enough to take charge
Confident enough to let her take charge
Confident enough to stand up for her
Confident enough to accept her
Confident enough to try
Confident enough to fail
Confident enough to cry
Confident enough to laugh
Confident enough not to laugh
Confident enough to do what's right
Confident enough to let her have friends
Confident enough to trust her
Confident enough to ask her
Confident enough to listen
Confident enough to forgive
Confident enough to believe in her
Confident enough to let her win
Confident enough to change
Confident enough to defend her
Confident enough to walk away
Confident enough to try it her way
Confident enough to open a door for her
Confident enough to wash dishes
Confident enough to change a tire
Confident enough to start a fire
Confident enough to plant a garden

Not afraid she is smarter
Not afraid she is stronger
Not afraid of her sexuality
Not afraid of her emotions
Not afraid of intimacy

Confident enough to kiss her goodnight every night

Confident enough to tell her she is the most beautiful women in the world in front of the whole world everyday and confident enough to believe it.

You left out: "Confident enough to let me take their picture without asking."

"I am single now by choice"

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

HughMungus · Post by **HughMungus** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 2:33 pm

BigCock wrote:
HughMungus wrote:Just pointing out a few things for the (seemingly) less-educated.
After all the above for you to post that shows YOU are pretty uneducated HughMungus.

I presented some ways in which positive stereotypes can be destructive and instead of arguing against those points, your reply was that they're still OK. I just assumed you were "less educated". But that's OK;I used to be less educated than I am now.

ravenluv · Post by **ravenluv** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 2:58 pm

presumably, we are all less educated now than we will be in the future.

i think it's funny that i find myself agreeing with everyone about everything in this thread, even though y'all are expressing opposing views and seem to oppose each other on some more personal level.

am i nuts?

Perfection and Error : The Learning Curve

the fire elf · Post by **the fire elf** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 3:39 pm

ravenluv wrote: am i nuts?

you're evolving

SED · Post by **SED** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 4:56 pm

HughMungus wrote:
BigCock wrote:
HughMungus wrote:Just pointing out a few things for the (seemingly) less-educated.
After all the above for you to post that shows YOU are pretty uneducated HughMungus.
I presented some ways in which positive stereotypes can be destructive and instead of arguing against those points, your reply was that they're still OK. I just assumed you were "less educated". But that's OK;I used to be less educated than I am now.

Hugh, you ignorant slut.

HughMungus · Post by **HughMungus** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 5:07 pm

SED wrote:
HughMungus wrote:
BigCock wrote: After all the above for you to post that shows YOU are pretty uneducated HughMungus.
I presented some ways in which positive stereotypes can be destructive and instead of arguing against those points, your reply was that they're still OK. I just assumed you were "less educated". But that's OK;I used to be less educated than I am now.
Hugh, you ignorant slut.

:D

can't sit still · Post by **can't sit still** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 6:57 pm

[quote="ravenluv"]presumably, we are all less educated now than we will be in the future"

It's best to keep in mind that education doesn't necessarily bring understanding,,,understanding doesn't necessarily bring compassion.
Ignorance doesn't preclude understanding or compassion.
Interpersonal relationships can get along fine without education but often wither for a lack of understanding.

"i think it's funny that i find myself agreeing with everyone about everything in this thread, even though y'all are expressing opposing views and seem to oppose each other on some more personal level. "

am i nuts?
Ravenluv, You're not nuts, just open minded. I really liked your earlier post on page one. You have a lot to say.
You mentioned that you were interested in what guys want or are looking for. I've found no better dissertation on that subject than David Deida's book "IT'S A GUY THING, an owners manual for women".

He also wrote "The Guide for the Superior Man" Don't let the title put you off. It's about awarenes of what differentiates and motivates women.
It's light years different from Mars/Venus.
My opinion is that the books are a real revelation, maybe an epiphany.
A burner told me about them.

Obviously, the books generalise, but the descriptions of rationale and thought processes are right to the point with no ambiguity. I think that most people could find helpful info that could easily change their life.
Dan

the fire elf · Post by **the fire elf** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 6:23 pm

*women make wonderful finger warmers*

[/drinking, excuse my tastelessness]

uBeRpLaYa · Post by **uBeRpLaYa** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 6:31 pm

the fire elf wrote:*women make wonderful finger warmers*

[/drinking, excuse my tastelessness]

yOu aRe sUcH aN aSsHaT

the fire elf · Post by **the fire elf** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 6:38 pm

yeah...i have my moments...

the fire elf · Post by **the fire elf** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 6:54 pm

is that finger in your avatar cold?

What are women about, really?

...

...

Maybe what do women want really?

Re: Maybe what do women want really?

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Re: Maybe what do women want really?

response in error

response in error

Re: response in error

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Re: ...

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