Kamp Apokiliptika - Doom 2006

[Cool Wire]

*** The following fliers were airdropped over Apokiliptika territories earlier this evening!***

Fear not, oh Oppressed Peoples of the Despotic States of Apokiliptika!

The yoke of forced labor and oppression will be lifted from your tired backs and gratuitiously exposed bosoms by the Norwegian forces and their many allies. You shall be offered freedom, democracy, and a life free from the rule of dictators who spend their days and nights dreaming up art work while you, the people toil and sweat. You shall elect your leaders and control your own destiny! You will be allowed to listen to real music, not just polkas and somber state drivel. You will have TV choices beyond Days of the Kernul's Lives, One Life to Live for the Kernul, The Young and the Restless memoirs of the Kernul, and the Guiding Light of the People's State, your fearless Kernul. Your children will not grow up and be conscripted into the military, they will have choices and be able to fulfill their dreams. Your daughters will not be forced to sully themselves at the whim of the Kernul and his minions! You will see there is a better way for yourself and your family!

The Norwegian Forces remain silent for the moment, choosing to build their strength for a decisive, crushing blow against the Kernul and his mindless minions! You have not been forgotten, the day of your liberation is close at hand! Be prepared to join us as we march on to Victory! and the utter defeat of the forces of DOOM!

[Mister Jellyfish Mister]

Repost for the glory of The Kernul:

Narcov: "Did you see him? He was wearing a beautiful oven mitt. It was red with a golden sash and he was waving it to all the crowd."

Natalie: "Too bad yours was on backwards"

Narcov: "No it wasn't! You sewed it wrong!"

Natalie: "Shut up, you're only five so that means your stupid"

Narcov: "Well just because you're seven doesn't mean you rule me. Only the Kernul rules the people. Did you see when I raised my oven mitt, he looked right at me!"

Natalie: "No he didn't. He was looking at me!"

Narcov: "Well he sure liked it when everyone dropped to their knees and pledged obediance to our great society."

Natalie: "Did you get that from one of the pamphlets? You can't even read."

Narcov: No, Kernul Killbuck said it, that's when everyone cheered so loudly. And then he was very pleased. I saw him smile. Someday I will be an officer of the Interrogation Squad and I will shine his boots."

Natalie: "You're so stupid."

Narcov: "No I'm not. You'll see when the world ends..."

[Elliot]

.
Good morning.

Let’s send Our Hero and the other scurrilous scallywags out for a coffee break and talk shop for a moment.

On the KA web site lives this statement:

A long term goal of APOKILIPTIKA as a collective of artists and creators, is to foster collaboration and expand capabilities for creativity in the other 51 weeks as well.

expand capabilities

I thought I’d let you know that it works. A few weeks back, events on this thread inspired me to begin the “Silent Radio” gig. Well, I have a part time job writing magazine articles, and I just sent one in that is written in the Silent Radio format. The editor loves it. He says “Finally something different!” [I hope he is referring to his writers in general; not me, as everything I write is “something different” heh, heh!]

So I’m already expanding my capabilities thru collaboration with you scurrilous scallywags, and I haven’t even been to Burning Man yet.

[By the way, the Scurrilous Scallywags are playing tonight at.... Thanks, Dave Barry!]

Keep up the good work!

Most humbly,

[zorro sings]

Press release-Official Final Preliminary 6 month plan
for the historic and meaningful"Meeting of the Camps".Aug 31
With security now assured by Comrade Col.Roosevelt,Verboten
feels confident of revealing some details of our planning.
The Stasi Retreat(formerly known as Pepperland)has begged
us,in order to burnish their revoultionary credentials,to
include them in this victory for the people. Accordingly Comrade Jimbo
has pledged that the "Peoples Fire Pit",the greatest hand created
burn pit on the playa,will be open to all celebrants for feasting
and warmth.
Contracts with the agent for Playboy DJ No have been signed
and terms were approved by the PMC and Chairman Suarez.
This will assure that the Comrade Jellyfish Command Performance
of Kraftwerk Night will proceed as planned and ordered.
Suarez Guides Boys Choir will sing"Ode To Apokoliptika"and
"We Love You Kernal".In honor of our Norwegian reactionary and revaunchist guests,
the so called Camp Herring,Suarez Provocateurs Girls Choir will sing"Take On Me".
More details to be issued when issued.

[Killbuck]

expand capabilities

I thought I’d let you know that it works.

Awh! Of COURSE it bloody works! I haven't spent 30 years perfecting despotic philosophies for nothing ya know!

Geez, I gotta get up prrr-etty early in the morning to meet my daily diabolical list... feed the dogs (fish of course) and well, it goes on..

Suarez Guides Boys Choir will sing"Ode To Apokoliptika"and
"We Love You Kernal"

Oh! Nice touch Komrade!!! Ah, feeling better now.

[Major Roosevelt]

...Suarez Guides Boys Choir will sing"Ode To Apokoliptika"and "We Love You Kernal".In honor of our Norwegian reactionary and revaunchist guests, the so called Camp Herring,Suarez Provocateurs Girls Choir will sing "Take On Me"....

Kind of brings a tear to your eye. The hills are alive with the sound of dying Norwegians....

[Major Roosevelt]

.....Suarez Provocateurs Girls Choir will sing"Take On Me"....

[Lassen Forge]

Now, at this juncture preceeding initiation of festifities marking inaguration of Kernul's 5th "5 Month Plan", we are feeling succinctly pleased that forces rightly aligned in commensurate battle for promotion of ultimate doom should be drawn together to face common enemy. As was foretold to us by Lenin, and then paraphrased for our own purposes:

"It is true that doom is precious - so precious that it must be given freely”
"Herring is product of social excess”
and
"Give us child for 8 days and it will be Apokiliptikan forever”

In solidarity of doom,
bb

[Killbuck]

Well said BB Dahlink

And now, the story so far. In the last installment:





More news released just today!:

[Killbuck]

The Discovery Channel completed their first day of filming re-enactments of the ancient, adavnced civilization that once ruled the playa. They did a nice job I thought, but they'll need to digitally remove a couple things.

[zorro sings]

.....Suarez Provocateurs Girls Choir will sing"Take On Me"....

Dear Correction to Dear Comrade Roosevelt Directly From
His Excellency President a'Vie Omar Suarez.

Transcripted after 2nd session"Summit of States"
Da Nang(China Beach),Vietnam



Peoples Firebrand Roosevelt.Please note that the Suarez
Provacateurs Girls Choir does not take the appearance
that you have illustrated.The age limit for Suarez Provacateurs
is 12.The explanation given to our vigilant toilers,for this
puzzling portrayal,is that you must have printed"wrong picture".
The fact that they will be singing"Take On Me"has
nothing to do with the decadence that is so often associated with
bourgeois and corrupt camps such as the Norwegian entity,
the so called Camp Herring.No,comrade.This is a true tribute
to Norways 3rd largest source of foreign exchange after oil
and herring,the ongoing royalties for members of A-Ha.
Finally we salute your salute to the Suarez Guide Boys Choir.
You have captured their dedication to the Killbuck Line
in bi-furication with Suarez Thought in revolutionary fashion.
A stalwart and true voice of the people.For this sacred occasion we
will make certain that the high notes will be hit during
"We Love You Kernal"(Oh Yes we Do).Yours for the People, OS

[Killbuck]

[BoxaRox]

We must not forget that it's all about the music.

[LiveWire]

Press release-Official Final Preliminary 6 month plan
for the historic and meaningful"Meeting of the Camps".Aug 31
With security now assured by Comrade Col.Roosevelt...

[zorro sings]

Message sent to Camp Herring via Swiss Embassy,Oslo.


Verboten,fulfilling its Internationalist
duties and adhering to the logical and correct
interpretation of the Killbuck Line,acknowledge
(via your secret eplya posting)a desire to enter our
territory on Aug.31.
Permission is hearby granted.After further consultation
with Apokoliptika,the glorious and grand vision of the Kernul,
we will arrange further details of the program times,visa and security
formalities etc.Chairman Suarez has suggested a"chance meeting"
could occur at the"Conference of Doomed States"Casamance,Senegal
in the upcoming week to explore relations further.As it is difficult
to tell Wires apart we would appreciate a dedicated Wire to
represent you in these tasks.Comrade Udsay Suarez will represent
the people of Verboten.

[Killbuck]

To: Authorized agent for O. Suarez

From: APOKILIPTIKA Atache' of International Affairs,
Secret Undesclosed Location NV

Subject: Diplomatic Confab

>I have received the communication-(stop)

>Our Ambassador shall use the secured channels to begin the necessary logistics-(stop)

>The Kernul shall begin discussions with N0.1 to set appropriate schedules and protocols- (stop)

To your Enternal Doom-
on behalf of the guy in the picture to the left-(stop)

Office X

[Killbuck]

...oh, sorry- forgot the required picture:

[Elliot]

.
Click.


[Yep, here we go again -- no rest for the wicked!]


Announcer:
And now... Black Rock Silent Radio brings you... this weeks episode of... Secret Double Agent. (faux studio audience applauds -- it’s actually Garrison Keillor turning a pencil sharpener full of pebbles.)

Tonight, Our Hero is on his way to the archeological digs in Northern Nevada. The scene is quite reminiscent of the Gold Rush one-hundred-and-fifty years ago. [Mark Twain’s Roughing It strongly recommended!]

As was often the case during the Gold Rush, it is difficult to say if Our Hero is planning to dig for treasure himself, or if he intends to make himself some real loot -- off the fools doing the digging.

We join Our Hero as he is walking north across the Winnemucca Dry Lake. He is whistling and clearly enjoying the stroll. Towards him comes another lone pedestrian -- who appears to be far from enjoying his arduous trek. As the men reach hailing distance, Our Hero recognizes the other man from an earlier encounter.

Our Hero:
Mr. Killbuckston, I presume.

Kernul Killbuck:
Huff, puff...(cough, cough)... PBR!

Announcer:
Seizing the opportunity, Our Hero offers an ice cold PBR.

Kernul Killbuck:
Glugg, glugg, glugg, glugg (and so forth).

Our Hero:
That will be five hundred dollars. I’ll open a tab.

Kernul Killbuck:
Uuuurp.

Our Hero:
I say, that appears to be a rather heavy parcel you are schlepping along. My Aston Martin is parked not far from here -- would you like me to take the package to town for you?

Kernul Killbuck:
It must not fall into the wrong hands. It must be taken straight to Kinko’s and put thru their most powerful cross cut shredder! It must be destroyed, or Doom as we know it will be imperiled!

Our Hero:
You can count on me, Sir.

Kernul Killbuck:
Doomspeed to you! (hands over the satchel and resumes walking.)

(brief musical interlude - placed here to emphasize the Kernul’s misplaced trust)

Announcer:
As soon as the Kernul is out of sight, Our Hero steams open the wax seal with a few spilled drops of Pabst and a Handy Dandy magnifying glass and finds... an engraved oven mitt. Recognizing the image of a Viking Long Ship on the mitt, Our Hero quickens his search the Herring Hugger Dig Site. He is soon guided to the site by the joyful noise of the singing archelo.. arcko... diggers.

Our Hero:
God dag, mann!

Wire:
Økseskaft.

Our Hero:
What -- you have found an axe handle out here?!

Wire:
Jes, that’s all -- see for yoorself. (hands him a wooden artifact.)

Announcer:
Studying the item, Our Hero at first sees nothing of interest, but as he dust off the Broad Axe handle he notices a few faint marks.

Out Hero:
Well, it’s still a good souvenir. Would you trade it to me?

Wire:
Got any PBR?

(sound fx: glugging and uuurping.)

Announcer:
Returning to his Aston Martin, Our Hero opens the Secret Double Agent Chemistry Kit in the left rear fender, and soon the Viking Broad Axe reveals the image of Chief Winnemucca holding up his right hand in the classic Native greeting -- wearing a shiny aluminized oven mitt.

Our Hero (to himself)
Aha -- now the plot thickens!

Announcer:
Tune in next week....



[somebody tell me what happens next -- I have no idea! ]

[Killbuck]

What happens next? You REALLY have no idea!!! But you shall find out!

[Elliot]

.
What... no " " ?!

[EL Wire]

Message sent to Camp Herring via Swiss Embassy,Oslo.


Verboten,fulfilling its Internationalist
duties and adhering to the logical and correct
interpretation of the Killbuck Line,acknowledge
(via your secret eplya posting)a desire to enter our
territory on Aug.31.
Permission is hearby granted.After further consultation
with Apokoliptika,the glorious and grand vision of the Kernul,
we will arrange further details of the program times,visa and security
formalities etc.Chairman Suarez has suggested a"chance meeting"
could occur at the"Conference of Doomed States"Casamance,Senegal
in the upcoming week to explore relations further.As it is difficult
to tell Wires apart we would appreciate a dedicated Wire to
represent you in these tasks.Comrade Udsay Suarez will represent
the people of Verboten.

The following information covers the officer ranking system in Camp Herring.
It might differ slightly from the Apokiliptika system but it should be
Unmistakable and intelligibly (stop)

EL Wire - Super Conductor
Live Wire - Normal Conductor
Barb Wire – Normal Conductor
Hot Wire – Semi Conductor
Fire Wire - Non Conductor
Tap Wire – Non Conductor

The rest of the Wires are not ranked yet.

-end-

[Elliot]

Can I be Train Conductor??? (somebody had to say it, right?)

[Now somebody else comment on "intelligiblidi..."]

[EL Wire]

Can I be Train Conductor??? (somebody had to say it, right?)

[Now somebody else comment on "intelligiblidi..."] :wink:

Ticket inspector that is?
I guess you could be that, but in Camp Herring it none exists.

Super Conductor EL Wire.

[Elliot]

Trikke-Konduktør, ja. But I don't want to sell tickets -- I just want to wear the fancy hat -- and the nifty mechanical change-dispenser on my belt!

Ahh, the good old days.

Our Hero got a lot of his training in deceit and obfuscation by fooling the conductor.

[LiveWire]

Evening of august 31st 2006
Just before supper on the evening of August 31st 2006 the Herrings in the trenches noticed small lights being lit and held high in the air. Some soldiers peered cautiously through binoculars and saw that the Apokiliptikan soldiers were holding up candles with their mitts, some even holding up wodden men lit with el-wires. As the Herring soldiers looked on, they saw signs being held up with messages written stating 'Party at Club Verboten' and 'I don't throw mitt - You don't throw fish'. Through the still silence of no mans land the Herrings heard a song in the air. At first one lone voice rang out. Slowly the voice was joined by others. Although the words were in Apokiliptik nonsense the tune was quickly recognized as "Take On Me". To men who had been shaken for days by the furious barrage of oven mitts and naked women, this sound could easily have been compared to a choir of Angels.


A Few Magical Hours.
One by one the soldiers ventured out into 'Club Verboten' the small pieces of land that lay between the two opposing trenches. The men walked past hundreds of doomed and saved komrades and the land torn by mitts and the foul stench of rotting fish. The men that just hours beforehand were trying to peck each other were now sharing project ideas. Men with odd taste in art spoke in the universal language of all such men. They realised that their 'enemy' only wanted the same as them, to be comfortable in their camp sofa with all PBR's within arms reach. The men passed around Apok-burgers, dehydrated fish (klippfisk) and other uuuh... food, some played harding-fiddle and others just told cock-and-bull stories. For a few magical hours, the BRC had witnessed an evening which perhaps Larry himself would have wept to see.

[Barb Wire]

Well, we still have a conductor (ticket inspector) on the trains (togene) in Norway, but everywhere else you buy your tickets before you enter.

So, the good old days aren't completely gone.

[Elliot]

.
RE: A Few Magical Hours In The Evening Of August 31 2006.

Awwww -- you had to spoil the surprise ending!

[LiveWire]

.
RE: A Few Magical Hours In The Evening Of August 31 2006.

Awwww -- you had to spoil the surprise ending! :wink:

Yaaa, I serve it all at once :)

- and we just HAVE to play a game of soccer that night, just like Christmas Eve 1914...

[zorro sings]

Evening of august 31st 2006
Just before supper on the evening of August 31st 2006 the Herrings in the trenches noticed small lights being lit and held high in the air. Some soldiers peered cautiously through binoculars and saw that the Apokiliptikan soldiers were holding up candles with their mitts, some even holding up wodden men lit with el-wires. As the Herring soldiers looked on, they saw signs being held up with messages written stating 'Party at Club Verboten' and 'I don't throw mitt - You don't throw fish'. Through the still silence of no mans land the Herrings heard a song in the air. At first one lone voice rang out. Slowly the voice was joined by others. Although the words were in Apokiliptik nonsense the tune was quickly recognized as "Take On Me". To men who had been shaken for days by the furious barrage of oven mitts and naked women, this sound could easily have been compared to a choir of Angels.


A Few Magical Hours.
One by one the soldiers ventured out into 'Club Verboten' the small pieces of land that lay between the two opposing trenches. The men walked past hundreds of doomed and saved komrades and the land torn by mitts and the foul stench of rotting fish. The men that just hours beforehand were trying to peck each other were now sharing project ideas. Men with odd taste in art spoke in the universal language of all such men. They realised that their 'enemy' only wanted the same as them, to be comfortable in their camp sofa with all PBR's within arms reach. The men passed around Apok-burgers, dehydrated fish (klippfisk) and other uuuh... food, some played harding-fiddle and others just told cock-and-bull stories. For a few magical hours, the BRC had witnessed an evening which perhaps Larry himself would have wept to see.

Chairman Suarez in last statement before his Haj to the revolutionary
and historic birthplace of the Provisional Miltary Council.
As His excellency will be spending"time with the people"
communication with the outside world becomes problematic.

To Conductor Live Wire-The vision of the events of Aug.31st
has been inspiring and entertaining to our masses.Your words
have appeared on large character posters throughout OmarSuarezStadt and beyond.
Verboten stands ready,as an independent
and neutral follower of the Killbuck Line,to do our duty in allowing
your dream to come to fruition.We are working diligently to procure
a rare"A-Ha's Greatest Hits"CD to entertain your followers further.
However,until the Kernul,with all the means at his disposal,finishes dealing with you,
on his terms ,we can only hope for such a result.

For the People,Omar Suarez Chairman of the PMC and President a'Vie

[Bob]