Sure it's true. (ref. Sessions S. Wheeler)Kernul Killbuck wrote:"Ya sure it's true"
Camp Herring
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dragonfly Jafe
- Posts: 1877
- Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2003 11:08 am
- Location: the Oregon Trail
...these must be the ache-ologists hard at work...(the one in the middle looks particularly achey)LiveWire wrote:Sure it's true. (ref. Sessions S. Wheeler)Kernul Killbuck wrote:"Ya sure it's true"
Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.
Arthur Schopenhauer
Arthur Schopenhauer
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Bin Noddin
- Posts: 3097
- Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2005 11:00 pm
- Location: Silver Spring, MD
(Vacuum tubes begin to glow. A warm hum of excitement fills the room. Static crackle. Oh, what we have so callously abandoned.)
Announcer:
And now... Welcome to the Camp Herring Silent Radio Theater, sponsored by Clearlake Mechaniacal Laboratorium, makers of Whimsy and New Enriched Weapons-Grade Whimsy.
(sound fx: Harding-fiddle music -- Norway’s answer to bag-pipes)
Jingle Singers:
Whimsy, Whimsy,
We’re Silly about Whimsy!
Announcer:
Tonight’s Special Feature Presentation:...
Chief Winnemucca:
...Strong Medicine -- That Herring Gut Feeling.
Announcer:
Our story begins in the bucolic village of Oslo, where our intrepid protagonists EL Wire and LiveWire are going fishing.
(Sound fx: Gentle lapping of waves, screeching of sea gulls, occasional boat horns. One fishing boat is leaving to join the Herring Fleet -- the single cylinder engine, which is fueled by herring oil, goes tøff... tøff... tøff....)
Announcer:
Dang, this is idyllic! And here comes a shrimp boat... and ties up next to our boys. After a couple of minutes, Livewire catches something and hauls in his line.
LiveWire:
Tjo hei!... Awww... I just snagged some junk.
(City Hall bell tower plays Twelve Noon.)
EL Wire:
Hah, hah, you caught an old oven mitt! How do you want to cook it -- over a doomsday fire?!
Announcer:
Disgust and ridicule end abruptly, however, when a CD falls out of the mitt. It is labeled “Lake Lahontan”.
LiveWire and EL Wire together, looking around and shouting:
Are we on Candid Camera?!
Announcer:
But Allen Funt fails to appear. Only a sailor on the shrimp boat glances up at the boys, and soon the two are on their way back to EL’s cabin to try the CD in a PC.
LiveWire (reading on the screen):
Hmmm... “The Secret of Lake Lahontan as discovered by geologist Clarence King.” And in a mitt! May be Apokiliptika stuff. Let’s Google that guy before we open the file.
Announcer:
Sure enough, the boys learn that Lake Lahontan was the ancient lake that formed the Black Rock Desert and the “Playa”, and Clarence King explored the area in the 1860s. For unknown reasons he abruptly aborted his work and took up a career as a business man, at which he was spectacularly successful.
EL Wire:
Looks legit. Open the file.
Announcer:
Just as LiveWire clicks on the single Word Doc, EL Wire notices the date and time of the file.
EL Wire:
Holy Herring, Live! Clarence King must be a Time Traveler! This document was written AFTER you hooked it!
LiveWire:
The shrimp boat!
(pause for dramatic effect. Soft harding-fiddle)
Jingle Singers:
Time travel, time travel,
What could be more Whimsical!
Announcer:
LiveWire and EL Wire now begin reading the mysterious document.
Voice of Clarence King:
“My... name... is... Clarence King. I am a time traveler. This ability was bestowed on me by a Paiute Indian Chief in my original youth, and it has made me enormously... uh... well traveled. But time travel is fraught with risk. The infinite number of alternate time-lines are impossible to keep track of.
Fortunately, time travel is not my most valuable discovery. Something else I learned from Chief Winnemucca is far more precious. The Chief shared this secret with me after I studied some fossils at Fishbone Cave, on the east shore of what is now Winnemucca Dry Lake. After I realized the fossils were herrings, and were laid out in a pattern, the Chief decided I was ready to learn the secret -- which dates back to the Paleo Indians of Lake Lahontan some 11.000 years ago. The bones formed a code, which the Chief taught me to decipher. What I learned was the truly valuable discovery.
Voice of Clarence King continues:
The truly valuable ability is about our instincts; our gut feelings. By carrying out the instructions in the Herring Gut Code, we can achieve the ability to always make the best possible choices and decisions. This ability has made me wealthy far beyond my needs, and happy at the same time -- a rare combination, as you may be aware. These are the instructions:
1. Gather 40.000 people in the Black Rock Desert, north of Fishbone Cave.
2. Build a giant wooden statue of Chief Winnemucca.
3. Burn the figure while all 40.000 people chant “Herring, Herring, Herring...” until the Burning Man collapses. All who chant will then achieve the power of Herring Gut Feeling.
4. In order to maintain the ability, you must share the Herring Gut Feeling with your friends at least once each year.
(a few strains of the Harding-fiddle)
Clarence King continues:
Having already experienced the wonder of time travel, I was not as skeptical as one might have been. But successfully completing such bizarre instructions seemed rather unlikely, and I put the project aside -- until I read about two fellows who held a bonfire with a wooden stick-figure on Baker Beach in San Francisco in 1986. So I went. One of the bonfire-builders mentioned having seen a strange one-shoed Indian in a dream, and then I knew. By the way, that was no oven mitt -- it was a moccasin.
The event drew a good crowd, but was otherwise a disaster. The burning figure tipped over and injured a passing jogger. The burn was never repeated.
This made me decide to risk another Time Travel Episode.
I returned to the same event and delayed the jogger for a few seconds. In this time-line, the Burn became a great success and an annual event which grew rapidly. Soon, a larger venue was needed, and I dropped an anonymous hint about the Black Rock Desert.
In the year 2006 the crowd reached 40.000 and they all chanted “Herring”. I acquired the Herring Gut Feeling and returned to my original time.
But there are other time travelers in this world, and something has gone terribly wrong. I am unable to find the critical time-line split, and the 2006 Burn may fail to meet the requirements. This is where you Wires come in.
EL Wire (jaw wide open):
Ååååååå...!
LiveWire (likewise):
Nææææææ...!
Boys, (voice of Clarence King continuing -- with immense gravitas) I want you to recruit three thousand new Burners and make sure they all chant “Herring, Herring, Herring...” when the Man burns. You must somehow spread the word.
LiveWire:
But how?
(Last appearance of Harding-fiddle (thank Odin!))
EL Wire:
I know. We’ll use the ePlaya to recruit members for Camp Herring.
LiveWire:
Hmmm... Well, there are four million people in Norway, but I still don’t think we can get three thousand of them to go with us all the way to Black Rock City.
EL Wire:
No, but there are MORE THAN FOUR MILLION NORWEGIAN-AMERICANS ALREADY IN THE U.S.!
(Highly meaningful pause as the sound of EL Wire’s voice resolves)
Announcer:
You have been listening to a Special Presentation of...
Chief One-moccasin:
...Strong Medicine -- That Herring Gut Feeling...
Announcer:
...on Camp Herring Silent Radio. Strong Medicine was written by EL Wire on Tenerife, Spain and adapted for Silent Radio by Elliot. Historical facts were checked by Otis Gudenov. Layout by LiveWire. Good night, and good fishing.
(Harding-fiddle fades, mercifully)
Announcer:
And now... Welcome to the Camp Herring Silent Radio Theater, sponsored by Clearlake Mechaniacal Laboratorium, makers of Whimsy and New Enriched Weapons-Grade Whimsy.
(sound fx: Harding-fiddle music -- Norway’s answer to bag-pipes)
Jingle Singers:
Whimsy, Whimsy,
We’re Silly about Whimsy!
Announcer:
Tonight’s Special Feature Presentation:...
Chief Winnemucca:
...Strong Medicine -- That Herring Gut Feeling.
Announcer:
Our story begins in the bucolic village of Oslo, where our intrepid protagonists EL Wire and LiveWire are going fishing.
(Sound fx: Gentle lapping of waves, screeching of sea gulls, occasional boat horns. One fishing boat is leaving to join the Herring Fleet -- the single cylinder engine, which is fueled by herring oil, goes tøff... tøff... tøff....)
Announcer:
Dang, this is idyllic! And here comes a shrimp boat... and ties up next to our boys. After a couple of minutes, Livewire catches something and hauls in his line.
LiveWire:
Tjo hei!... Awww... I just snagged some junk.
(City Hall bell tower plays Twelve Noon.)
EL Wire:
Hah, hah, you caught an old oven mitt! How do you want to cook it -- over a doomsday fire?!
Announcer:
Disgust and ridicule end abruptly, however, when a CD falls out of the mitt. It is labeled “Lake Lahontan”.
LiveWire and EL Wire together, looking around and shouting:
Are we on Candid Camera?!
Announcer:
But Allen Funt fails to appear. Only a sailor on the shrimp boat glances up at the boys, and soon the two are on their way back to EL’s cabin to try the CD in a PC.
LiveWire (reading on the screen):
Hmmm... “The Secret of Lake Lahontan as discovered by geologist Clarence King.” And in a mitt! May be Apokiliptika stuff. Let’s Google that guy before we open the file.
Announcer:
Sure enough, the boys learn that Lake Lahontan was the ancient lake that formed the Black Rock Desert and the “Playa”, and Clarence King explored the area in the 1860s. For unknown reasons he abruptly aborted his work and took up a career as a business man, at which he was spectacularly successful.
EL Wire:
Looks legit. Open the file.
Announcer:
Just as LiveWire clicks on the single Word Doc, EL Wire notices the date and time of the file.
EL Wire:
Holy Herring, Live! Clarence King must be a Time Traveler! This document was written AFTER you hooked it!
LiveWire:
The shrimp boat!
(pause for dramatic effect. Soft harding-fiddle)
Jingle Singers:
Time travel, time travel,
What could be more Whimsical!
Announcer:
LiveWire and EL Wire now begin reading the mysterious document.
Voice of Clarence King:
“My... name... is... Clarence King. I am a time traveler. This ability was bestowed on me by a Paiute Indian Chief in my original youth, and it has made me enormously... uh... well traveled. But time travel is fraught with risk. The infinite number of alternate time-lines are impossible to keep track of.
Fortunately, time travel is not my most valuable discovery. Something else I learned from Chief Winnemucca is far more precious. The Chief shared this secret with me after I studied some fossils at Fishbone Cave, on the east shore of what is now Winnemucca Dry Lake. After I realized the fossils were herrings, and were laid out in a pattern, the Chief decided I was ready to learn the secret -- which dates back to the Paleo Indians of Lake Lahontan some 11.000 years ago. The bones formed a code, which the Chief taught me to decipher. What I learned was the truly valuable discovery.
Voice of Clarence King continues:
The truly valuable ability is about our instincts; our gut feelings. By carrying out the instructions in the Herring Gut Code, we can achieve the ability to always make the best possible choices and decisions. This ability has made me wealthy far beyond my needs, and happy at the same time -- a rare combination, as you may be aware. These are the instructions:
1. Gather 40.000 people in the Black Rock Desert, north of Fishbone Cave.
2. Build a giant wooden statue of Chief Winnemucca.
3. Burn the figure while all 40.000 people chant “Herring, Herring, Herring...” until the Burning Man collapses. All who chant will then achieve the power of Herring Gut Feeling.
4. In order to maintain the ability, you must share the Herring Gut Feeling with your friends at least once each year.
(a few strains of the Harding-fiddle)
Clarence King continues:
Having already experienced the wonder of time travel, I was not as skeptical as one might have been. But successfully completing such bizarre instructions seemed rather unlikely, and I put the project aside -- until I read about two fellows who held a bonfire with a wooden stick-figure on Baker Beach in San Francisco in 1986. So I went. One of the bonfire-builders mentioned having seen a strange one-shoed Indian in a dream, and then I knew. By the way, that was no oven mitt -- it was a moccasin.
The event drew a good crowd, but was otherwise a disaster. The burning figure tipped over and injured a passing jogger. The burn was never repeated.
This made me decide to risk another Time Travel Episode.
I returned to the same event and delayed the jogger for a few seconds. In this time-line, the Burn became a great success and an annual event which grew rapidly. Soon, a larger venue was needed, and I dropped an anonymous hint about the Black Rock Desert.
In the year 2006 the crowd reached 40.000 and they all chanted “Herring”. I acquired the Herring Gut Feeling and returned to my original time.
But there are other time travelers in this world, and something has gone terribly wrong. I am unable to find the critical time-line split, and the 2006 Burn may fail to meet the requirements. This is where you Wires come in.
EL Wire (jaw wide open):
Ååååååå...!
LiveWire (likewise):
Nææææææ...!
Boys, (voice of Clarence King continuing -- with immense gravitas) I want you to recruit three thousand new Burners and make sure they all chant “Herring, Herring, Herring...” when the Man burns. You must somehow spread the word.
LiveWire:
But how?
(Last appearance of Harding-fiddle (thank Odin!))
EL Wire:
I know. We’ll use the ePlaya to recruit members for Camp Herring.
LiveWire:
Hmmm... Well, there are four million people in Norway, but I still don’t think we can get three thousand of them to go with us all the way to Black Rock City.
EL Wire:
No, but there are MORE THAN FOUR MILLION NORWEGIAN-AMERICANS ALREADY IN THE U.S.!
(Highly meaningful pause as the sound of EL Wire’s voice resolves)
Announcer:
You have been listening to a Special Presentation of...
Chief One-moccasin:
...Strong Medicine -- That Herring Gut Feeling...
Announcer:
...on Camp Herring Silent Radio. Strong Medicine was written by EL Wire on Tenerife, Spain and adapted for Silent Radio by Elliot. Historical facts were checked by Otis Gudenov. Layout by LiveWire. Good night, and good fishing.
(Harding-fiddle fades, mercifully)
Ä
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Mister Jellyfish Mister
- Posts: 2367
- Joined: Thu Mar 11, 2004 12:02 pm
- Location: Sparks, Nevada
- Contact:
Absolutely Fab! Uh, oops. Who just heard me say that? Can I confess now to save time?
Art cred: Georgie Boy 2011: www.mutantvehicle.com/georgie_boy.htm ; Ein Hammer 2010; Fluffer 2009; Zsu Zsu 2008; U-Me 2007; Mantis 2006; MiniMan and Pikes Of Paranoia 2005; Time Machine Mutant Vehicle 2004. www.MutantVehicle.com
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nogganoodle
- Posts: 692
- Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 10:08 am
- Burning Since: 2006
- Camp Name: Booby Bar, UK Envoy
- Location: The Booby Bar, UK Envoy
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Lassen Forge
- Posts: 5320
- Joined: Tue Feb 22, 2005 9:35 pm
- Location: Where it's always... Wednesday. Don't lose your head over it.
Everybody know that eye contact is important. Also eye sockets.Kernul Killbuck wrote:Don't look at them- eye contact only encourages this unfortunate behavior
This is what happened to the last person that stared too long...
Have a ball,,, eye ball.
bE awarE, bE awarE, anotheR herrinG iS neaR
Hot Wire
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"Get the Inside Scoop on Camp APOK-Camp Herring Threads!"
http://www.apokiliptika.com/thread_principles.htm
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Do you think it should be a death penalty for killing time ?
Hot Wire
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"Get the Inside Scoop on Camp APOK-Camp Herring Threads!"
http://www.apokiliptika.com/thread_principles.htm
-
Do you think it should be a death penalty for killing time ?
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Major Roosevelt
- Posts: 337
- Joined: Wed Sep 07, 2005 6:26 pm
- Location: Eastern Front
We in Camp Herring are now working out plans for our Fjord Installation.
Some parts of Black Rock City will be affected by this.
We kindly recommend all theme camps to prepare for some excess water when the first H2O from
Pyramid Lake flows across the playa.
Some parts of Black Rock City will be affected by this.
We kindly recommend all theme camps to prepare for some excess water when the first H2O from
Pyramid Lake flows across the playa.
All cats love fish but fear to wet their paws.
--------
Terminal City BM 08: http://www.apokiliptika.com/terminal_city_page.htm
--------
Terminal City BM 08: http://www.apokiliptika.com/terminal_city_page.htm
Great! We're just 39954 people short.hunter S wrote:Herring, exelent!!! I pledge the support of "Camp Jello-Shot" we will rejoice in the chant of HERRING!, HERRING! HERRING! our 40 strong camp will solistit a new name and theme....perhaps.......kweewee fish???
Herring-herring-herring!
Here's a little something from us...
Ä
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Mister Jellyfish Mister
- Posts: 2367
- Joined: Thu Mar 11, 2004 12:02 pm
- Location: Sparks, Nevada
- Contact:
A simple matter of scale may challenge your evil plan. I picture something like midgets dancing around a miniature Stonehenge in the movie Spinal Tap.EL Wire wrote:We in Camp Herring are now working out plans for our Fjord Installation.
Some parts of Black Rock City will be affected by this.
We kindly recommend all theme camps to prepare for some excess water when the first H2O from
Pyramid Lake flows across the playa.
"Yes but amplifier goes to 11...".
Art cred: Georgie Boy 2011: www.mutantvehicle.com/georgie_boy.htm ; Ein Hammer 2010; Fluffer 2009; Zsu Zsu 2008; U-Me 2007; Mantis 2006; MiniMan and Pikes Of Paranoia 2005; Time Machine Mutant Vehicle 2004. www.MutantVehicle.com
Flight Advisory Alert:
The UA wants to warn all interested parties that for the next 5 weeks aircraft operations will commence just East of the main ridgeline of the Sierras. These aircraft will be engaged in cloud seeding operations
The UA also announces that a spare weather satellite is being repositioned over the Western United States. This satellite along with providing up to the second weather status also doubles as a satellite radio transmitter....offering playa citizens more choices beyond Apokiliptika radio...and our signals are very good at penetrating jamming signals.
(If I were you, I'd start your boat building now!)
The UA wants to warn all interested parties that for the next 5 weeks aircraft operations will commence just East of the main ridgeline of the Sierras. These aircraft will be engaged in cloud seeding operations
The UA also announces that a spare weather satellite is being repositioned over the Western United States. This satellite along with providing up to the second weather status also doubles as a satellite radio transmitter....offering playa citizens more choices beyond Apokiliptika radio...and our signals are very good at penetrating jamming signals.
(If I were you, I'd start your boat building now!)
Barb Wire!
According to my calculations this is where the water is going to run through.
How is it going with your calculations Barb Wire, do they give the same result as mine?
According to my calculations this is where the water is going to run through.
How is it going with your calculations Barb Wire, do they give the same result as mine?
All cats love fish but fear to wet their paws.
--------
Terminal City BM 08: http://www.apokiliptika.com/terminal_city_page.htm
--------
Terminal City BM 08: http://www.apokiliptika.com/terminal_city_page.htm
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Bin Noddin
- Posts: 3097
- Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2005 11:00 pm
- Location: Silver Spring, MD
