Yippee yi fuckin' yo.
The reason they're fast-tracking me is because I've never really stopped bleeding, and I'm getting hit with diarrhea attacks on a semi-regular basis. It might be the chemo, it might be something else, but my medical team is concerned enough about the blood that my surgeon's nurse is going to give my GE a noogie and put a bug in his ear to get me in for my follow-up scoping, possibly as early as this Friday.
Okay. Last week I got a shallow scoping from my surgeon. He said that as far as he could see (about a foot in), it looked okay. The surgery site knitted nicely but there's a stricture where they connected the bigger end to the smaller end. They thought the bleeding might be due to a leak and that's why they looked: no leak. So they're puzzled and want to know more.
I knew I had to go in for a follow-up colonoscopy in March but the problem is, I'm not looking forward to the prep, especially this soon. Last week's scoping turned my guts into a pitched uproar and I had the quickstep for three days afterwards. I'm still recovering from that. I'm getting another of those semi-regular diarrhea attacks tonight which is sapping me, AND NOW I'm going to be hit with a half gallon of Nu-Lytely in a couple days. That's going to WRECK me! I don't tolerate bowel prep well, I invariably sick it back up before it's all absorbed. And of course, while whatever I manage to keep down is working, I can't sleep or even rest because I have to jump up every ten or fifteen minutes. I sob in relief if the damn stuff lets me alone for a half hour. Bowel prep is hell for me.
Mom tried to console me by saying, "Go in, get it done and it'll be over," but that's just it. It WON'T be over, it'll just be another step into the unknown.
I just want my fucking life back.
