Too late Elliot. It's a drug.
PS- a PM regarding your PM is in the inbox
Kamp Apokiliptika - Doom 2006
Silent Radio
.
click
(s.fx: radio static)
Announcer:
Welcome to Silent Radio and the continuing saga of Our Hero, Secret Double Agent.
Two weeks ago, we left Our Hero at the archeological excavations at Black Rock Desert, where he had acquired an 11.000 thousand year old oven mitt bearing an image of a Viking Long Ship, and also a 1.000 year old Viking Broad Axe Handle bearing the image of Chief Winnemucca holding a mitt.
We are about to rejoin Our Hero as he fires up his Aston Martin for the drive back to Reno.
But first, let us extend a warm welcome to our new Narrator, who will begin by introducing some of the characters in today’s show. Welcome, Narrator!
Narrator (out of character):
Thank you. It is an honor to be part of Silent Radio.
(Then slips smoothly into his new job:)
In today’s episode, we meet two important historical figures: Harald Hårfagre and Einar Tambarskjelve. In the best known time-line, Harald and Einar lived in the Norwegian Viking Age around 1000 AD.
As a young man and local chieftain, Harald established an ambition to gather the many independent fiefdoms of Norway into a united country, and he pledged to never cut his hair until the task was accomplished. This earned him the moniker “Hårfagre”, meaning “Fine-Hair”, possibly with a touch of sarcasm.
Einar is his best archer, a huge man equally famous for his muscular arms and fat belly -- Tambarskjelve means belly-shake.
We also meet Geologist Clarence King, who explored the Lake Lahontan area in the 1860s and is a known time traveler. [See Camp Herring thread.]
Clarence learned time travel from the Paiute Chief Winnemucca, who earned his name from the habit of wearing only one moccasin (Chief One-Moccasin).
Then, of course, there is Our Hero, who is just getting ready to return from his Black Rock Desert archeological expedition with the mitt and the axe handle.
(brief pause)
Narrator:
Our Hero places the Axe Handle in the trunk with the Oven Mitt and heads for town. As he drives, plotting furiously to profit from his finds, he does not notice that something is happening to the car. The change begins inside the trunk, where Chief Winnemucca’s missing moccasin -- which is often mistaken for a modern day oven mitt -- and Harald Hårfagre’s broad axe handle have come in physical contact with each other. The fact that both objects have been subject to Time Travel at various times of their lives is presumed to have something to do with this.
After several minutes, hoses and cables begin to emerge from the trunk of the Aston Martin, and by the time Our Hero reaches Reno, the car has taken on a distinctly different appearance. As it happens, it is Hot August Nights in Reno, and nobody notices anything unusual.
Until... Our Hero stops at a traffic light and a 1966 Chevelle with chrome pipes sticking out of the hood pulls alongside. When the light turns green....
(Make your own sound effects of roaring engines, screeching tires and a random lightning strike. Then pour a small bowl of cream for the cat, which no longer trusts you.)
On the dashboard of Our Hero’s car, the calendar/clock races backward, then melts.
Salvador Dali:
A melting clock --how stupid! Waitaminnit.... (picks up a brush.)
Our Hero (skidding to a stop in unfamiliar surroundings)
Where am I?
Geologist Clarence King (smirking rhetorically):
You mean “When am I?” don’t you, Mr. Hero?
(pause for cliff-hanging effect, followed by commercial)
(commercial ends)
Geologist Clarence King:
Welcome to 1870, Our Hero. The Chief and I have been expecting you.
Chief Winnemucca:
Gimme my shoe!
Our Hero:
What shoe?
Chief Winnemucca:
The one in your trunk. That’s an expensive custom made orthopedic moccasin, I’ll have you know!
Narrator:
Our Hero takes the mitt-like object from the trunk and stares incredulously at it. Then, sheepishly, he hands it to the Chief -- who puts it on his bare foot and walks off, no longer limping.
All over the town of Winnemucca, NV; signs, maps and business-names change from Winnemucca to Sixtoes. Nobody notices the change. Ever.
(weighty pause and somber music to let importance of Time Travel Effect sink in.)
Our Hero:
Well I’ll be dipped in tyttebær med fløte!
Clarence:
That can be arranged, but there is no time. We have only repaired one of the problems. Now we must get King Harald’s broad axe back to him. Let’s get in your time machine -- mine has a broken thru-brace.
(fx: noise, lightning, smoke...)
Narrator:
Arriving Sometime Else, Our Hero steps from the car, only to have an arrow nip the hat off his head.
Our Hero:
Not again!
Clarence:
This is the Battle of Stiklestad in 1030. Harald is about to unite the many Viking fiefdoms into the Nation of Norway. Watch that big fellow.
Narrator:
The big fellow is Einar Tambarskjelve (Einar Bellyshake), Harald’s best archer. Lesser men can barely pick up that Howitzer of a bow, much less shoot it. Watch what happens.
Einar Tambarskjelve (taking aim);
I believe it is time for Rogaland to join Norway.
(s.fx: Ziiingggg!)
Narrator:
Sure enough, the chieftain of Rogaland falls.
Einar Tambarskjelve (aims):
Now Sogn.
(Ziiinggg!)
Narrator:
The chieftain of Sogn falls.
Harald Hårfagre:
Keep after it, Einar -- my grip on a united Norway is closing!
Einar Tambarskjelve (taking aim at the chieftain of Trøndelag):
If you have a finger free, wrap it around Trøndelag!
(S.fx: loud CRACK! as Einar’s bow breaks)
Harald Hårfagre:
What broke so loud?
Einar Tambarskjelve:
Norway from your grasp, My King.
Clarence:
Now!
Narrator:
Catching on quickly, Our Hero tosses the axe -- which is now whole and sharp -- into the scene.
Harald Hårfagre:
By Odin! There is my favorite axe! I thought I had lost that on my last journey to Lake Lahontan!
Narrator:
Harald picks up his axe and charges. The rest is [slightly distorted!] history. King Harald Fine-Hair, who pledged as a young man to never cut his hair until he had united Norway, unites Norway and cuts his hair with the victorious broad axe, thus inventing the mullet.
Einar Tambarskjelve goes on a diet and becomes an archery instructor at Mil Org Academy, where he enjoys a much healthier lifestyle than when he spent most of his time on Long Ships, eating nothing but herring. After a couple of years, Einar is downright wiry, and becomes known as Einar Wire.
Garrison Keillor:
And that’s the news from Lake Lahontan -- where all the Apokiliptikans are handsome; all the Herring Huggers are strong; and all the Secret Double Agents are above reproach.
click
(s.fx: radio static)
Announcer:
Welcome to Silent Radio and the continuing saga of Our Hero, Secret Double Agent.
Two weeks ago, we left Our Hero at the archeological excavations at Black Rock Desert, where he had acquired an 11.000 thousand year old oven mitt bearing an image of a Viking Long Ship, and also a 1.000 year old Viking Broad Axe Handle bearing the image of Chief Winnemucca holding a mitt.
We are about to rejoin Our Hero as he fires up his Aston Martin for the drive back to Reno.
But first, let us extend a warm welcome to our new Narrator, who will begin by introducing some of the characters in today’s show. Welcome, Narrator!
Narrator (out of character):
Thank you. It is an honor to be part of Silent Radio.
(Then slips smoothly into his new job:)
In today’s episode, we meet two important historical figures: Harald Hårfagre and Einar Tambarskjelve. In the best known time-line, Harald and Einar lived in the Norwegian Viking Age around 1000 AD.
As a young man and local chieftain, Harald established an ambition to gather the many independent fiefdoms of Norway into a united country, and he pledged to never cut his hair until the task was accomplished. This earned him the moniker “Hårfagre”, meaning “Fine-Hair”, possibly with a touch of sarcasm.
Einar is his best archer, a huge man equally famous for his muscular arms and fat belly -- Tambarskjelve means belly-shake.
We also meet Geologist Clarence King, who explored the Lake Lahontan area in the 1860s and is a known time traveler. [See Camp Herring thread.]
Clarence learned time travel from the Paiute Chief Winnemucca, who earned his name from the habit of wearing only one moccasin (Chief One-Moccasin).
Then, of course, there is Our Hero, who is just getting ready to return from his Black Rock Desert archeological expedition with the mitt and the axe handle.
(brief pause)
Narrator:
Our Hero places the Axe Handle in the trunk with the Oven Mitt and heads for town. As he drives, plotting furiously to profit from his finds, he does not notice that something is happening to the car. The change begins inside the trunk, where Chief Winnemucca’s missing moccasin -- which is often mistaken for a modern day oven mitt -- and Harald Hårfagre’s broad axe handle have come in physical contact with each other. The fact that both objects have been subject to Time Travel at various times of their lives is presumed to have something to do with this.
After several minutes, hoses and cables begin to emerge from the trunk of the Aston Martin, and by the time Our Hero reaches Reno, the car has taken on a distinctly different appearance. As it happens, it is Hot August Nights in Reno, and nobody notices anything unusual.
Until... Our Hero stops at a traffic light and a 1966 Chevelle with chrome pipes sticking out of the hood pulls alongside. When the light turns green....
(Make your own sound effects of roaring engines, screeching tires and a random lightning strike. Then pour a small bowl of cream for the cat, which no longer trusts you.)
On the dashboard of Our Hero’s car, the calendar/clock races backward, then melts.
Salvador Dali:
A melting clock --how stupid! Waitaminnit.... (picks up a brush.)
Our Hero (skidding to a stop in unfamiliar surroundings)
Where am I?
Geologist Clarence King (smirking rhetorically):
You mean “When am I?” don’t you, Mr. Hero?
(pause for cliff-hanging effect, followed by commercial)
(commercial ends)
Geologist Clarence King:
Welcome to 1870, Our Hero. The Chief and I have been expecting you.
Chief Winnemucca:
Gimme my shoe!
Our Hero:
What shoe?
Chief Winnemucca:
The one in your trunk. That’s an expensive custom made orthopedic moccasin, I’ll have you know!
Narrator:
Our Hero takes the mitt-like object from the trunk and stares incredulously at it. Then, sheepishly, he hands it to the Chief -- who puts it on his bare foot and walks off, no longer limping.
All over the town of Winnemucca, NV; signs, maps and business-names change from Winnemucca to Sixtoes. Nobody notices the change. Ever.
(weighty pause and somber music to let importance of Time Travel Effect sink in.)
Our Hero:
Well I’ll be dipped in tyttebær med fløte!
Clarence:
That can be arranged, but there is no time. We have only repaired one of the problems. Now we must get King Harald’s broad axe back to him. Let’s get in your time machine -- mine has a broken thru-brace.
(fx: noise, lightning, smoke...)
Narrator:
Arriving Sometime Else, Our Hero steps from the car, only to have an arrow nip the hat off his head.
Our Hero:
Not again!
Clarence:
This is the Battle of Stiklestad in 1030. Harald is about to unite the many Viking fiefdoms into the Nation of Norway. Watch that big fellow.
Narrator:
The big fellow is Einar Tambarskjelve (Einar Bellyshake), Harald’s best archer. Lesser men can barely pick up that Howitzer of a bow, much less shoot it. Watch what happens.
Einar Tambarskjelve (taking aim);
I believe it is time for Rogaland to join Norway.
(s.fx: Ziiingggg!)
Narrator:
Sure enough, the chieftain of Rogaland falls.
Einar Tambarskjelve (aims):
Now Sogn.
(Ziiinggg!)
Narrator:
The chieftain of Sogn falls.
Harald Hårfagre:
Keep after it, Einar -- my grip on a united Norway is closing!
Einar Tambarskjelve (taking aim at the chieftain of Trøndelag):
If you have a finger free, wrap it around Trøndelag!
(S.fx: loud CRACK! as Einar’s bow breaks)
Harald Hårfagre:
What broke so loud?
Einar Tambarskjelve:
Norway from your grasp, My King.
Clarence:
Now!
Narrator:
Catching on quickly, Our Hero tosses the axe -- which is now whole and sharp -- into the scene.
Harald Hårfagre:
By Odin! There is my favorite axe! I thought I had lost that on my last journey to Lake Lahontan!
Narrator:
Harald picks up his axe and charges. The rest is [slightly distorted!] history. King Harald Fine-Hair, who pledged as a young man to never cut his hair until he had united Norway, unites Norway and cuts his hair with the victorious broad axe, thus inventing the mullet.
Einar Tambarskjelve goes on a diet and becomes an archery instructor at Mil Org Academy, where he enjoys a much healthier lifestyle than when he spent most of his time on Long Ships, eating nothing but herring. After a couple of years, Einar is downright wiry, and becomes known as Einar Wire.
Garrison Keillor:
And that’s the news from Lake Lahontan -- where all the Apokiliptikans are handsome; all the Herring Huggers are strong; and all the Secret Double Agents are above reproach.
-
Bin Noddin
- Posts: 3097
- Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2005 11:00 pm
- Location: Silver Spring, MD
.
Oh Dear. Thank you. (blushes) I was afraid it was too cumbersome and irrelevant.
Incidentally, all four historical characters are (were) real. I just added Time Travel and some such. And the famous Broken Bow incident actually took place in a different battle.
And then I made up some other stuff....
Some of these episodes are being recorded for play in August. Count BoxaRox is Producer. Life is good!
Oh Dear. Thank you. (blushes) I was afraid it was too cumbersome and irrelevant.
Incidentally, all four historical characters are (were) real. I just added Time Travel and some such. And the famous Broken Bow incident actually took place in a different battle.
And then I made up some other stuff....
Some of these episodes are being recorded for play in August. Count BoxaRox is Producer. Life is good!
-
EvilDustBooger
- Posts: 3807
- Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2005 1:56 pm
- Location: Outside the Box
Nice work Elliot.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
intercepted footage of captured secret double agent interrogations :
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/madhamster.php
------------------------------------------------------------------------
be careful, it gets pretty nasty....
viewer disgression, etc...
------------------------------------------------------------------------
intercepted footage of captured secret double agent interrogations :
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/madhamster.php
------------------------------------------------------------------------
be careful, it gets pretty nasty....
viewer disgression, etc...
-
heaven-and-hell
- Posts: 7
- Joined: Thu Sep 15, 2005 9:28 am
.-
Mister Jellyfish Mister
- Posts: 2367
- Joined: Thu Mar 11, 2004 12:02 pm
- Location: Sparks, Nevada
- Contact:
Good theater, that. You and Boxa will need to find a huge foley library for sound effects of arrows and axes and the like. Cheers!
Art cred: Georgie Boy 2011: www.mutantvehicle.com/georgie_boy.htm ; Ein Hammer 2010; Fluffer 2009; Zsu Zsu 2008; U-Me 2007; Mantis 2006; MiniMan and Pikes Of Paranoia 2005; Time Machine Mutant Vehicle 2004. www.MutantVehicle.com
-
heaven-and-hell
- Posts: 7
- Joined: Thu Sep 15, 2005 9:28 am
Over-width pages
.A question just came up on another thread, and it is so important that I will post it here also. It is about how these pages become too wide to fit on the screen, and we have to scroll left-right to read. I thought it was only my 'puter, due to my lack of 'puter skills, but apparently it is a common problem.
Is it strictly caused by oversize images? If so, we could all put a notice in our automatic signatures like "Please do not post images over 20 KB -- it boogers up the whole page" or some such.
For the many who do not know how to re-size images -- and I was one until recently -- I open the image in a program called Paint, which came with the 'puter from the factory. It may be part of Windows -- not sure. Up at the top I click on "Image", then "stretch/skew". Where it says "100" I enter a smaller number, like 25 -- in both "horizontal" and "vertical" -- and then click OK. I find that the size I then see on the screen will be the same on ePlaya. When I have a good size, I "save" it and post that smaller copy of the image. That helpful?
Um not really. Paint is really crappy when shrinking images. Use photoshop if you've got it, which I don't. And it isn't file size, it's the file width. You can make a large file that'll offend the word wrapper, and still be under 20k.
Use carridge returns. They help prevent the text from going beyond the screen.
Use carridge returns. They help prevent the text from going beyond the screen.
Will
www.comicsbyemail.com
www.comicsbyemail.com
Experiment
.I'm going to respectfully offend the many computer savvy among us in order to perhaps assist the few of us who are still computer dunderheads. I'm going to conduct an experiment.
Here is Our Hero crossing Black Rock Fjord on his latest HTTT (Herring Time Travel Thingie). This image is 131 KB.
Looking at it in Preview, it runs a couple of inches off the screen.
After it is posted, (I'm now in "edit") it looked to run more like four inches off the screen.
Here is the same image after re-sizeing it in Paint to the tune of 25% (Paint, Image, Stretch, 25, 25, OK, Save)
It it now 8 KB (8,65 to be excact). I should probably have gone with something like 50% to reach a file size around 20 KB.
Thoughts, everyone?
Most Kordially,
Edit:We were posting at the same time stop thinking about file size because that has nothing to do with size! Confused? Picture dimensions do not correlate directly with file size change the dimensions not file size. And if you change the file size smaller you lose quality of picture but it will upload download faster and could be still the same original dimensions!
Best way to think about is File size=weight
Good examples right on this page...
This smaller black and white or grayscale photo is 58129 bytes in size yet only 299 X 471
Now this one is displayed physcally larger but is a smaller package of information 27451 bytes but size is 520 X 375 px and in color!
Lots of influences on file size type of file such as .gif versus .jpg these are different file compression schemes also number of colors used such as true color pallet versus 16 bit and is the file carrying extra layers and was not flattened prior to posting which I suspect with the grayscale one. Also a picture can carry tons of unseen crap such as time it was shot, copyrights, even the last time it was worked on all kinds of info because in the end it is just a load of data
In the end keep em about 600 px wide and you will be fine
It's all about quantity(physical size versus quality(amount of information) You could have a photo that is smaller on the screen but larger in amount of information packed into it(bytes). So it would be a larger file size but still displayed dimensions would be smaller.Elliot wrote:.
"File size" vs. "file width".... I knew I was outside my very-limited expertise!
Best way to think about is File size=weight
Good examples right on this page...
This smaller black and white or grayscale photo is 58129 bytes in size yet only 299 X 471
Now this one is displayed physcally larger but is a smaller package of information 27451 bytes but size is 520 X 375 px and in color!
Lots of influences on file size type of file such as .gif versus .jpg these are different file compression schemes also number of colors used such as true color pallet versus 16 bit and is the file carrying extra layers and was not flattened prior to posting which I suspect with the grayscale one. Also a picture can carry tons of unseen crap such as time it was shot, copyrights, even the last time it was worked on all kinds of info because in the end it is just a load of data
In the end keep em about 600 px wide and you will be fine
Eplaya Bar Camp 2006 "What will it be"
[url=http://eplayabar.blogspot.com/]The Eplaya Bar Camp Blog[/url]
[url=http://eplayabar.blogspot.com/]The Eplaya Bar Camp Blog[/url]
pixels are all the little dots that make the up the picture more pixels closer together higher quality and bigger file size regardless of actual size...
So 600 pixels wide means the picture is 600 little dots across..
Take a magnifying glass and look at your monitor and count 600 pixels across that is how wide the picture will be on your monitor..
So 600 pixels wide means the picture is 600 little dots across..
Take a magnifying glass and look at your monitor and count 600 pixels across that is how wide the picture will be on your monitor..
Eplaya Bar Camp 2006 "What will it be"
[url=http://eplayabar.blogspot.com/]The Eplaya Bar Camp Blog[/url]
[url=http://eplayabar.blogspot.com/]The Eplaya Bar Camp Blog[/url]
.Yes but maybe you should start a new thread about this because all of these artists know a lot about this stuff much more than I probably..
We do not want dilute the thematic warfare do we?
A new thread will probably get a lot input and photo examples and before you know it you will know more than the rest of us..
We do not want dilute the thematic warfare do we?
A new thread will probably get a lot input and photo examples and before you know it you will know more than the rest of us..
Eplaya Bar Camp 2006 "What will it be"
[url=http://eplayabar.blogspot.com/]The Eplaya Bar Camp Blog[/url]
[url=http://eplayabar.blogspot.com/]The Eplaya Bar Camp Blog[/url]
.