Why are you a Wanker?

Rob the Wop · Post by **Rob the Wop** » Mon May 01, 2006 10:42 pm

OK, I've actually held off from making this one for weeks- but I only have so much restraint.

But seriously, why?

SED · Post by **SED** » Mon May 01, 2006 10:45 pm

Cogito ergo sum.

Masturbari ergo cum.

Rob the Wop · Post by **Rob the Wop** » Mon May 01, 2006 11:05 pm

I'm a Wanker because of what I put in a trail diary. Me and a delightful Irish lass went strolling along the Banks-Vernonia trail on Sunday and came upon a mailbox. It was marked "Trail Diary" and had a note book and pencil inside. After reading 20 some-odd pages of how beautiful God's country was, how thankful everyone was, how beautiful everything is, how cute puppies are, and why Susie loves Bobby- Evil Rob refused to stay in his cage. So I added my own entry-

Camp Log- April 30, 2006

This is the fifth day that we have been lost in this wilderness hell. Our compass was destroyed two days ago during the cougar attack, after which we were forced to eat the remains of Hal, our navigator. Tom's leg is looking gangrenous, we sadly anticipate that we will have to amputate come morning- if he makes it through the night. Liza is due to give birth any day now, but I fear we shall have to eat the child for lack of food. We must not speak of this to Liza for fear of hysteria. Dan has stopped hallucinating from fever, but is now descended into madness. He lies wrapped around his dwindling supplies, muttering of cupcake thieves and the coming of the "Dark Master". The muttering noises at night appear to be coming closer to the fire at night, no longer fearing human contact. The very table upon which I write appears to have odd markings burnt upon it. These mar

<at which point the pencil drags off the page>

Ranger Genius · Post by **Ranger Genius** » Tue May 02, 2006 7:41 am

I love Evil Rob. Why is he in a cage to begin with?

Kinetic IV · Post by **Kinetic IV** » Tue May 02, 2006 7:50 am

I wonder if that "Trail Book" Rob signed is somewhere along the PCT where Chai Guy is hiking?

Ron · Post by **Ron** » Tue May 02, 2006 8:50 am

'Cause I'm the only one who *really* knows how to wank it! ;)

Ron, lovin' that trail entry

Rob the Wop · Post by **Rob the Wop** » Tue May 02, 2006 9:04 am

Ranger Genius wrote:I love Evil Rob. Why is he in a cage to begin with?

To prevent normal Rob from going to jail for a long, long time.

Bin Noddin · Post by **Bin Noddin** » Tue May 02, 2006 10:32 am

Laughed so hard I lost my grip!

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Tue May 02, 2006 11:20 am

Cause it feeeeeeeeeeeeeelssssssss goooooooooooooooooooood.

EvilDustBooger · Post by **EvilDustBooger** » Tue May 02, 2006 11:31 am

...because it is there.

Post by **AntiM** » Tue May 02, 2006 12:27 pm

I like the uniform.

cowboyangel · Post by **cowboyangel** » Tue May 02, 2006 2:54 pm

I don't do such things.........

(my cat does it for me)

Monkeypoo · Post by **Monkeypoo** » Tue May 02, 2006 3:04 pm

I'm just here for the Wanker Beer...and I hear Wankers make better lovers!

Lassen Forge · Post by **Lassen Forge** » Tue May 02, 2006 3:17 pm

Hold it...

I'm workin' on this...

Got my finger on the answer...

Probably come to some conclusion soon...

bb

Desert Duck · Post by **Desert Duck** » Tue May 02, 2006 3:18 pm

Man, I can see what ya mean by here for the beer!!!

cowboyangel · Post by **cowboyangel** » Tue May 02, 2006 9:47 pm

<<But seriously, why?>>

...I like it when Rob says..." But seriously, why?"

nogganoodle · Post by **nogganoodle** » Wed May 03, 2006 1:28 am

It'll make you go blind ya know

Monkeypoo · Post by **Monkeypoo** » Wed May 03, 2006 5:13 am

Bartender, I'll take 2 Wankers, please.

Bin Noddin · Post by **Bin Noddin** » Wed May 03, 2006 11:23 am

Monkeypoo wrote:I'm just here for the Wanker Beer...and I hear Wankers make better lovers!

No, no - - lovers make better wankers.

Monkeypoo · Post by **Monkeypoo** » Wed May 03, 2006 11:28 am

Can girls be wankers?
Or is it just guys that can be wankers?
Can a guy teach a girl to be a wanker?
Do burner guys make better wankers?
Where do guys learn to be wankers?
Is there a Wanker University? Is it co-ed?

ThePikey · Post by **ThePikey** » Wed May 03, 2006 12:54 pm

Because I couldn't find the $.75 in the couch cushions that it would take to do your mom, 'kay?

tisha2 · Post by **tisha2** » Wed May 03, 2006 1:40 pm

wait - do you mean the american or the australian definition of 'wanker'?

Desert Duck · Post by **Desert Duck** » Wed May 03, 2006 1:55 pm

British.

cowboyangel · Post by **cowboyangel** » Wed May 03, 2006 7:20 pm

<<Is there a Wanker University? Is it co-ed?>>

it's called "The White House"

Desert Duck · Post by **Desert Duck** » Thu May 04, 2006 1:26 am

cowboyangel wrote:<<Is there a Wanker University? Is it co-ed?>>

it's called "The White House"

And the American public is a bunch of weenies getting jerked.