Social utterances..

[psilence]

Hello again all…

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	Very recently I had a chance to attend the Entheon Village party in downtown Chicago. As a fundraiser for some of my more interesting bored-at-work / hobbyist print personalities to attend BM 06 I figured I could kill two birds with one stone: help these people make the trek to BRC as well as do something a little out of the ordinary on a Saturday evening.
	First I should mention that there was a saving grace to this evening. The fire dancers and read my hips in their entirety. I was not only surprised but amazed to see a male not only willing but able to dance in such a way. The females were beyond grace. I can’t think of their performances without thinking of footage I’ve seen of the big cats; graceful, powerful, but all in all, gorgeous. Minimalist with their approach as well (maybe not so much the male.). I loved how they either knowingly or unknowingly included a very strong smelling almost mirrh like scent that punctuated the entire room, perfectly accentuating their dances. I was honestly in a trace and experienced one of those…fleeting moments, if that makes any sense.
	Now, in the aftermath, people are saying that this event was very similar to BM in several ways, but I’m specifically citing their claims that the chaotic nature of both events and their people were correlating nicely. From the spin tables to the interactive word art to just the entrance itself, to the untrained eye it seemed people were getting along very well with each other and the general ambience of the place seemed to be upbeat.
	Under a higher powered microscope I came to the realization that these small sects, scattered throughout the building, had already known each other. Maybe I took the wrong door and went into a nightclub by mistake? It was almost as if I had to rub my  eyes to check if what I was seeing was, in actuality, right in front of me. At that moment, and thinking back on it now, it was. 
	This seems terribly irrelevant to an outside observer so I should clarify a bit. Anyone I had run into that evening was so radically EXCLUSIVE to anyone outside their circle coming into it. It wasn’t for lack of trying either. I walked up and tried (my god damnedest) to inject myself into the vein of social exchange. But no matter how good a conversationalist you are (or fancy yourself to be..) if the other side isn’t hearing it, what recourse do you really have but to walk away and try again another day?
	I’d say I was there a good 5 hours from 10:00 pm to 3:00 am, so certainly the crowd changed in that time. People that were sober at 10:00 weren’t very pretty anymore at midnight or 1:00. This didn’t deter me any, actually if anything, it forced me to put the next foot forward and just try harder. Sadly enough it was a Chinese finger trap in and of itself; the harder you pulled, the harder it was to get off.
	I walked out at 3:00, a little dejected, a little tipsy, but hopeful for the future. To you, my readers, I pose a question: was it me? Was the crowd or anyone else’s experience, either at this party or any other, similar? Radically different? Radically INclusionary? Am I on the wrong track going to BRC this year looking to interact with people on a level that I do with my small circle of friends? Should I only expect a chat and a handshake?

If you’ve read about my little exposition I thank you, but would be grateful for some answers. I can have a night like I had last night at any given party here in the suburbs.

Thank you, and goodnight.
-Joe

P.S. I hope you don't mind the code tags, for some reason the board isn't wanting to hold my formatting any other way. Sorry.

[EDIT 1: Typo]

[Das Bus]

Each event is different, but regardless, you will always find cliques that don't make you feel welcome. Your only recourse is to keep trying, and eventually, you will find people to connect with. And when you do, it just makes it all the more meaningful to you.
: )

[skygod]

They say you can never feel so lonely as when your in the middle of a crowd. I feel the way do quite often, and I have been tempted to think it's a mild form of autism, Asperger's Syndrome, perhaps. Then again I think there is a seperate universe within all of us, and we just pretend to connect.

[Dork]

I've also noticed people being less open at local events. The fact that most people can just leave home, party, then go back home doesn't seem to remove many of them from their normal closed-off mode. Something about the constant challenges of living and getting around in the desert for a week makes it easier to accept help and interact with strangers. I'm an aspie and do reasonably well out there especially when I have something to do, such as driving an art car around. Any sort of "job" or conversation starter like an intricate costume or performance art would work.

Based on your posts I'm curious how you would score on this, psilence:
http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

[skygod]

Sheeit psi I hope you do better than me i got a 144/200
Of what use are these diagnosis? Do they make me feel happier or make my life more worthwhile? Or do they make the diagnoser feel happier?
I'm convinced that there is no mental illness, just varying degrees of one's power in society.
If you are crazy and rich then you're just eccentric.

[Dork]

Sheeit psi I hope you do better than me i got a 144/200
Of what use are these diagnosis? Do they make me feel happier or make my life more worthwhile? Or do they make the diagnoser feel happier?
I'm convinced that there is no mental illness, just varying degrees of one's power in society.
If you are crazy and rich then you're just eccentric.

There is no "better" - the point of the test is to attempt to determine whether you might be autistic. If you not-autistic score is higher then you probably aren't. It's not definitive, but it's a starting point. Diagnosis in adults is rather difficult because of the coping mechanisms we develop to deal with all the non-autistic people around us. Personally, knowing why I was different from everyone else and being able to learn from the experiences of others like me has made my life better. Autism is not a mental illness. It's a neurological difference. It varies in how deeply it affects people's ability to function in society but the core of it is pretty consistent. Our brains work differently and because we're a minority our way is considered a disorder.

[AntiM]

I'm convinced that there is no mental illness, just varying degrees of one's power in society.

Soooo, when my family member saw the people stepping out of the TV and playing his pinball machines, sans drugs, he was simply powerless? The same lack of power had him traipsing naked through a field claiming he was Jesus? Trying to free the mannequins from department store windows because they were crying?

I'm so relieved that wasn't mental illness.

[skygod]

If you scratch the surface of anyone on the street you will find the most bizarre experiences. There is no "normal" , just a bell curve of success and failure. Artists have visions, the insane hallucinate. Einstein had to have the front door of his house painted red to find his way home, Van Gogh mutilated himself. The only reason we know about them is because they had more power than the crazy people we never heard of. I'm afraid we are preventing future geniusus by curing them with Ritalin and antipsychotics to preserve our concept of "normality".
That's just one way of looking at it.
I'm sorry psilence your post just made me think, may not relate much to you problem

[AntiM]

I just get defensive about "there is no crazy" when I sat through more than one psychotic break of someone I love. Eccentricity is fine, even a few personality disorders make for interesting people, but even the most brilliant artist or scientist cannot function during a true schizophrenic episode.

I think if you get far enough out on the ends of the bell curve, the ability to live a relatively "normal" life fails.

To you, my readers, I pose a question: was it me? Was the crowd or anyone else’s experience, either at this party or any other, similar? Radically different? Radically INclusionary? Am I on the wrong track going to BRC this year looking to interact with people on a level that I do with my small circle of friends? Should I only expect a chat and a handshake?

As for a crowd which is supposed to be radically inclusive, well, even at our small regionals you hit the social walls. Just people reverting to the herd nature of the beast. We all do it to some degree; I have personally found the "terminally cool and tragically hip" folks are the worst for interacting with those outside their cohort. To me it seems easier to make contact with the fringe, the old, the fat, the geeky, the dork. Does that make sense?

[Dork]

I see two different issues in what you're saying. One is that our society puts too much pressure on people to be normal, which I agree with. Would a disheveled file clerk in green slippers with pink flowers on them trying to publish a paper on some radical physics theory (Einstein) be taken seriously today? I worry that the answer is no. One thing I like about the Burning Man community is that it's relatively tolerant of quirkiness.

But to deny there are people with major problems is silly. If you aren't able to take care of your own physical safety and health, aren't able to form relationships, aren't able to get around in the world, are wanting to commit suicide, you need help. If you aren't quite that bad off but are having difficulties living up to your potential you should have the choice of seeking help. Our current method for helping people involves putting them into categories and findout what did and didn't work for other people in the same category. Two people might be suffering from the same symptom, but if the cause is different something that works for one person might not work for the other. As much as I hate labeling people, it's necessary in some cases.

[psilence]

Thank you for filling out this questionnaire.

Your Aspie score: 152 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 48 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie

Very interesting, thank you for the quiz and the replies. For what it's worth, I have had altercations with the mental health system and the local ICU & ER, which is all I really care to say.

-Joe

[EDIT 1: Syntax.]

[skygod]

Yes, the burning community is kind of special in that way, that "quirkiness" is tolerated/encouraged.
I am apt to carry a line of reasoning a little further here, into territories i would not normally go.
Sometimes, though, when I meet a herd of burnies who I don't know, it's difficult to get beyond the flaky crust, to the juicy, meaty quirkiness inside.