How can I volunteer at the Critical Tits party?

hobbit · Post by **hobbit** » Tue May 02, 2006 7:00 pm

I think that the Critical Tits event is one of the best things that humanity has ever contrived. I'm a short guy (5'2") and this has never worked to my advantage anywhere so well as it has at the Critical Tits after party (except for almost getting my eye poked out by an erect and irridescently painted nipple!). Does anyone know how I can volunteer to serve there, or to whom I should talk to for more info? I'd do nearly anything to be a part of the event - wear a Chippendales outfit, give foot massages, compose haiku, vote republican - no - scratch that - I'm not that crazy!
Can anyone point me in the right direction?

BoxaRox · Post by **BoxaRox** » Wed May 03, 2006 4:55 pm

Documentation of the event is always in short supply. If you have a camera -- and particularly a long lens (so you don't invade the personal space of the riders) -- probably the best thing you can do is to photograph the event. Then make your images available afterwards to those seeking mementos.

If you can keep your purpose a secret, so that your gift comes as a complete surprise, so much the better!

Have fun and good luck!!

spectabillis · Post by **spectabillis** » Wed May 03, 2006 8:56 pm

oh fucking hell boxa, that was way funny

Rockdad · Post by **Rockdad** » Wed May 03, 2006 10:07 pm

Think they had a opening at the front gate ? do you have a Jockey suit and riding crop? able to stand motionless for long periods? You should be safe too since they banned dogs...

hobbit · Post by **hobbit** » Sat May 06, 2006 10:07 am

hardee harr harrr

Rockdad · Post by **Rockdad** » Sat May 06, 2006 10:14 am

If you really want to help contact ps(at)21suns.(com) It is open to all this year but they are looking for people to bring goodies, gifts, drinks, food, help, etc.

Location semi secret to avoid papparazzi so if you find out where do not post it here..

HughMungus · Post by **HughMungus** » Tue May 09, 2006 9:36 am

BoxaRox wrote:Documentation of the event is always in short supply. If you have a camera -- and particularly a long lens (so you don't invade the personal space of the riders) -- probably the best thing you can do is to photograph the event. Then make your images available afterwards to those seeking mementos.

If you can keep your purpose a secret, so that your gift comes as a complete surprise, so much the better!

Have fun and good luck!!

The ultimate gift is, of course, posting the images here in ePlaya.

Bob · Post by **Bob** » Tue May 09, 2006 11:11 am

Or you could offer them Big Johnson t-shirts for the cooldown.

MrMullen · Post by **MrMullen** » Tue May 09, 2006 12:10 pm

As a volunteer at last years CT After Party, let me say a couple of things before you line up to be a worker at the CTAP. (Note, I do run or have anything to do with CT other than serving drinks. These are observations and nothing else).

1) If you want to stand around and look at womens tits, you will not. You will be put to work. Here is another factoid, when you are working your ass off, you tend not to see tits.
2) You will not get the position you want. I know you want to be a massager or lap dancer, but forget it. You will be serving drinks or doing some other less glamous task the first few YEARS. If you are lucky, you can work your way up the ranks, but the really cool/fun jobs are reserved for people who have done CT for YEARS or are friends of the organizers who can be trusted.
3) You are not there to hit on the women, you are there to work. Do so.
4) Don't be a perv at the CTAF, the women don't like it.

Other than that, it is well organized event where the people who run it and the other volunteers are cool. I worked it this year and plan to do it again next.

I know there is a tribe.net group that is the base for the CTAF, but it's name is currently some other than "CT Afterparty 2006" and I don't think it will be another name until BM gets closer. It's really an invite only thing, but it is not hard to get invited. Just get your Tribe account and hang out in the Burningman tribe and some messages will come up on the subject as Burningman nears.

Enjoy

hobbit · Post by **hobbit** » Tue May 09, 2006 5:34 pm

Thanks guys, I was hoping that I'd find a helpful hint or two besides the smart alecky ribbings which otherwise flavor this forum.

Rest assured - I'm not offering to volunteer so that I can "be a perv" or to "hit on the women" and I'm totally willing to work my ass off at whatever position I get assigned to. I just really dig the event. I remember before I ever went to one hearing about it from a female friend - I remember the smile that she had and her enthusiasm for it and how for her it was one of the highlights of a Burn. I want to help provide a peak experience for female burners. Is that so wrong... ?

I promise to leave my bow tie spy cam at home and to not drool on myself overly much.

spectabillis · Post by **spectabillis** » Tue May 09, 2006 9:27 pm

you just happened upon one of those land-mine topics that usually explode those kind of reactions. there is a loooong controversial history behind it.

blyslv · Post by **blyslv** » Wed May 10, 2006 11:15 am

The gist of which was: "I am a women glorying in my naturalness and er ... uhm ... glory! How dare you look at my tits."

I don't know, the whole thing is really strange. I just don't care about the protestations. If you are a guy who wants to work the party it's 'cuz you like tits! God forbid you should admit to such a horrible thing, god forbid any one of us should owe up to our essential human nature.

I like tits, I like women. I like proud strong women. But I won't try to work the party, 'cuz the lies are too thick.

Vaya con dios.

blyslv · Post by **blyslv** » Wed May 10, 2006 11:16 am

Oh yeah, I also like proud strong tits.

Rockdad · Post by **Rockdad** » Wed May 10, 2006 11:28 am

Very good point!
Seems to me the protestations come mostly from Guy's trying to be womens right's Boy Scouts

Kinetic IV · Post by **Kinetic IV** » Wed May 10, 2006 12:53 pm

When I first came across this thread my reaction towards the author was not the best one but it's turned out my initial assessment was wrong. Sometimes not posting and letting people explain their view is the best thing one can do.

Now as for CT itself I find it's more trouble to me than it's worth. I understand why the riders do it but at the same time it makes street traffic a mess, if you happen to pass by the parade with a camera on you people think you're a perv, if you offer to volunteer to help you have to be screened and checked out like you're trying to join the Dept of Homeland Security. It's turned into a form of theater of the absurd. And Heaven forbid if you find yourself in Blyslv's mindset which many of us share and happen to enjoy the female body as the work of art it is...don't you dare admire it, you're a creep if you do. Again...theater of the absurd. That's what it is.

If I get to go to BM this year I think I'll schedule my afternoon catnap for when the ride is scheduled and just forget about the whole darn thing.

retropsycho · Post by **retropsycho** » Wed May 10, 2006 5:36 pm

http://www.criticaltits.com/

BoxaRox · Post by **BoxaRox** » Thu Jun 01, 2006 10:21 pm

I think I'm going to go to the party in drag.

If I can can act convincingly gay, I just KNOW that I'll get laid.

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Fri Jun 02, 2006 8:30 am

Open up a Free Foot Massage booth immediately after the event.

HughMungus · Post by **HughMungus** » Fri Jun 02, 2006 11:42 am

BoxaRox wrote:I think I'm going to go to the party in drag.

If I can can act convincingly gay, I just KNOW that I'll get laid.

If I can act convincingly female...hm...

BoxaRox · Post by **BoxaRox** » Fri Jun 09, 2006 4:21 pm

I'm just a lesbian trapped in a man's body.

crimesaucer · Post by **crimesaucer** » Sun Aug 20, 2006 3:43 am

Retropsycho - "I will not fear. Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone . . . there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

The pain...THE PAIN!!!

How can I volunteer at the Critical Tits party?

How can I volunteer at the Critical Tits party?

thank you rockdad and Mr Mullen

Titical Crits

Re: Titical Crits