Why are you an Asantaist?

Steven bradford · Post by **Steven bradford** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 5:04 pm

Isn't saying "There is no santa" logically equivalent to saying "There is a santa"?

Dork · Post by **Dork** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 5:58 pm

That would depend on your definition of "Santa". Your concept may be very rigid - a benevolent, omnipotent being in the form of an immortal human with a large belly and red suit, who gives gifts to all of the good children in the world in an instant with the help of elves and magic reindeer. If that is your definition, then most people in the world would be considered Asantaist.

If you expand your definition far enough in the other direction - that Santa is merely a force that causes presents to be given, even through the hands of other people, and that the man in the red suit is merely one possible manifestation that some believe in, then many more people would say they believe in Santa. Or perhaps you merely mean the concept of the Santa in all of us - that we have the ability to give without expecting something in return. Many cultures believe in a being or force that gives them gifts, perhaps those are also Santa?

Personally, I consider myself Agnosantist. I believe there may be a "Santa" but that I do not possess the ability to fully comprehend Santa and do not subscribe to any of the popular belief systems.

Ron · Post by **Ron** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 7:42 pm

I knew Santa. Personally. Great guy who I worked with. He kept candy at his desk and was famous for offering neck and shoulder rubs to the ladies in the office. Anyone was welcome to help themselves to the candy anytime but the rule was they had to say, loudly, "Every day is Christmas!" when they did so. That cry could be heard all day long.

The poor son of a bitch died of cancer a few years ago. I'd like to say that someone else was giving out the candy now, but that's not the case. And three days went by without a resurrection, so no luck there....

;)

Ron

dana · Post by **dana** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 7:55 pm

I recently read about a man who murdered his entire family and claimed that "Santa had spoken to him and told him to do it."

This proves that belief in Santa should be rigidly opposed. I also feel stronly that 'Santa belief' has created more wars and human suffering than Oprah, elevator music, L Ron Hubbard and Richard Simmons combined.

Steven bradford · Post by **Steven bradford** » Fri Jul 07, 2006 1:37 am

All I know is that Santa is the only deity that delivers, and on christmas day no less.

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Fri Jul 07, 2006 1:47 am

If I say there is no Giant Mountain Chicken does that mean there is a Giant Mountain Chicken? No. Well, maybe, because I suppose you came up with some idea in your head of exactly what it was I was claiming not to exists. Tell me, how big was the Giant Mountain Chicken you envisioned when I said that?

dragonfly Jafe · Post by **dragonfly Jafe** » Fri Jul 07, 2006 3:17 am

how do you know there is no Santa? maybe you have just been bad for all these years...but flying reindeer, now there I draw the line!

pinemom · Post by **pinemom** » Fri Jul 07, 2006 7:23 am

after getting fired 6 days before christmas, I know there a SANTA, cause my kids woke up to presents strung across the livingroom floor!

EXPLAINE THAT!

Cabanasprings · Post by **Cabanasprings** » Fri Jul 07, 2006 8:35 am

pinemom wrote:after getting fired 6 days before christmas, I know there a SANTA, cause my kids woke up to presents strung across the livingroom floor!

EXPLAINE THAT!

No offense - but - you must really suck if you got fired that close to christmas.

LeChatNoir · Post by **LeChatNoir** » Fri Jul 07, 2006 9:36 am

or she just worked for a large corporation with a fourth quarter report to worry about.

dana · Post by **dana** » Fri Jul 07, 2006 3:48 pm

Steven bradford wrote:All I know is that Santa is the only deity that delivers, and on christmas day no less.

Get Real Steve!! Where's the Proof?

Can you provide any proof?

I'd like to see a complete analysis on this Santa guy including a spectrographic analysis, a psychological profile (including an MMPI and DSM 4 Axis at minimum), and a police rap sheet. (I understand this guy is regularly sneaking into people's houses. Certainly by now at least one police department has filed charges if he really exists!!!)

diane o'thirst · Post by **diane o'thirst** » Fri Jul 07, 2006 5:56 pm

I don't believe in Santa, I KNOW he exists. No joke.

When I was about eight, I heard the reindeer on the roof on Christmas Eve. My bedroom shared a wall with the living room so I heard him come down the chimney, I actually heard his boots on the hearth. At the same time I heard hooves clicking on the roof, near the chimney.

And to cap it all off, when the reindeer took off, I saw Rudolph's red nose glowing as they passed by my bedroom window.

I was never so paranoid in my life! I didn't dare move or even breathe because I was scared Santa would hear me, know I was awake and take off without leaving presents.

I knew it wasn't my Dad or his friends because if it was Dad, he'd be hamming it right up and ho-ho-hoing to a faretheewell. And he didn't have any friends who'd climb on the roof of our house at midnight in December.

Oh yeah, and the haul that year straight-up rocked. That's how I know it was indeed Santa that I'd heard. So no, I'm NOT an Asantaist.

thisisthatwhichis · Post by **thisisthatwhichis** » Fri Jul 07, 2006 6:13 pm

Steven bradford wrote:Isn't saying "There is no santa" logically equivalent to saying "There is a santa"?

Quite simply answered: Yes.

Logically for a "There is no Santa" statement to be opined, one must know of an existence........
True question is "Did Santa always exist?"

Oh, yea, and will he bring me presents this year, if I'm really, really good.....

spectabillis · Post by **spectabillis** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 1:35 am

SANTA!?

that fat bastard ate so much over the past year ms.claus has to sew the fucker a new suit, and now me and the other reindeer have to bust our asses humping that fat fuck all over the world. and rudolph? how do you think that nose got so red? the asshole is so jumpy and jittery now he steers and weaves us all over the place. the idiot probably took the job because he thought 'plenty of snow' meant an unlimited coke supply. fuck, he probably does enough to down a god damn dinosaur. and dont even get me started on donner and blitzen, those two cocky fucks have been shooting so much steroids and pumping iron they are now acting all uber-macho and shit. its probably only a matter of time before those two homophobes pull some sort of hate-crime.

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 3:46 am

Remember, Tuesday is Soylent Green day.

dana · Post by **dana** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 9:52 am

diane o'thirst wrote:I don't believe in Santa, I KNOW he exists. No joke.

When I was about eight, I heard the reindeer on the roof on Christmas Eve.....

Diane

(sigh....)

Here let me give you a big hug.

Now, just let it in that You Are Loved!
Yes you are! I love you and all your friends on the Eplaya love - YOU.
We love you in all the little, ordinary, human ways. And once you really let that in, you won't have to go looking for any kind of supernatural love, to make up for the normal love that you're refusing to feel.

I know this is hard.......

I know that right now you think that Santology isn't really a cult. But all your friends here on the Eplaya are here to help!

Come on guys. Lets all give Diane a hug!!!

Monkeypoo · Post by **Monkeypoo** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 6:50 pm

I saw Santa pee on the playa. Ever since then I have been traumatized.

Post by **AntiM** » Sun Jul 09, 2006 7:00 am

That wasn't Santa in my bedroom unwrapping his special gift?

dana · Post by **dana** » Sun Jul 09, 2006 1:44 pm

Monkeypoo wrote:I saw Santa pee on the playa. Ever since then I have been traumatized.

Ah.. You sound like you need a hug too!

Oh! What's this all over... God what's that smell??!!!
ugh.. MonkeyPoo!!

Forget being traumatized by Santa! I want to know what else happened to you?!!!

dana · Post by **dana** » Sun Jul 09, 2006 1:47 pm

AntiM wrote:That wasn't Santa in my bedroom unwrapping his special gift?

I believe that's what's called an 'incubus'

(one of my favorite fantasies - the demon lover. Unfortunately, Santa wouldn't fall into my sexual orientation - so I've started to consider the Easter Bunny..... I don't know. just something about bunnies...?)

diane o'thirst · Post by **diane o'thirst** » Sun Jul 09, 2006 2:13 pm

Dana —

Yes, I know I'm loved. I got over it years and years ago. To prove it, I laughed right along as a friend of mine made a joke about cooking and eating the various reindeer.

Rudolph: IIIIIII, don' know. That glowing red nose of his, sounds like a serious mutation to me. He's probably nuclear. Best to steer clear.

Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, forget it too. They're athletes, they're probably tough as all hell, loaded up with steriods and would put up too much of a fight anyway. Keep 'em for stud.

Vixen: Well, there's the token female in the bunch because a vixen is a female fox. And fox meat tastes awful, but she's probably preggers to at least one of the stags above, and foetal meat is purportedly pretty good. I wonder what a reindeer-fox hybrid tastes/looks like?

Cupid: No way. Chubbiest of the reindeer, cholesterol city, probably catch cancer and heart disease from eating him. He'd be easy to catch though, being so fat and with those teeny-tiny wings...

Donder: Dasher, Dancer and Prancer are athletes but Donder's just naturally big, which is why they named him "Thunder." Lots and lots of meat there, could feed a whole family for a year at least.

Blitzen and Comet would come pre-cooked, so there's a good possibility.

Okay, we'll only kill Donder, Blitzen and Comet, that leaves at least one doe and at least three stags. Dancer, Prancer and Dasher can take turns with Vixen on consecutive years and breed up a fine set of replacements for Donder, Blitzen and Comet. Let's just hope Cupid and Rudolph don't cuckold them and get a nuclear mutant glow-in-the-dark lard-ass from Vixen...

Thanks for the hug anyway, Dana.

And I still acknowledge Santa!

dana · Post by **dana** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 9:18 pm

geekster wrote:Remember, Tuesday is Soylent Green day.

Shit I forgot to celebrate!!

Spirutein is made from people!!!!

tisha2 · Post by **tisha2** » Wed Jul 12, 2006 10:42 am

my children saw spanky dressed up for santa night on the playa last year and now they insist that not santa, but Spanky Claus comes to our house at Christmas.

Why are you an Asantaist?

Why are you an Asantaist?

Re: Why are you an Asantaist?

Is Santology destroying our children's minds?