Wicked Witch of the West seeks Monkey Minions

[alexamonkey]

Admiral SED- await further instructions....I have plans for you, my little monkey, plans indeed!......

You are a good monkey & will not go unrewarded my minion... our forces gather stronger even as we speak....

In Evil we unite,
Your Wicked Goddess, The Witch of the West

[thisisthatwhichis]

Arrgghh… DooughRaauuthy, I shall defend you..
With thee ruby slippers we set sail for playa parts unknown. Thy silly/evil witches and their minions will be left to play with themselves, as we explore the vastness of the world….never to be haunted by their attempts to mold our thoughts, feelings, and occasional spankings….

Fear NOT, me’Lady……for your Swordsman Has Arrived!

[Sensei]

Monkey butter does go rather well on toast...

"Monkey butter"? That's both crude and disgusting.

However, if you'll spank my monkey you'll get monkey batter, which is one of the the primary building blocks of all monkey life. And it's much more spreadable than monkey butter. Maybe you've seen the ads? "I can't believe it's not monkey butter!"

[countb1ah]

Dorothy, do you prefer crunchy or smooth???

[gidget]

Tell it to your wicked leader Sensei. She has vats of it! Why do you think she recruits so many of you?

Monkey batter, now that's disgusting. You procreate more than my dear munchkins!

Farewell for now, Good Citizens! Glinda is off to see the Wizard!

[Dorothy]

In reference to your question CountB1ah, I prefer triangle. I agree with the good witch that monkey batter is quite disgusting. You can't make decent pancakes with it so I really just don't see the point. Has anyone seen the yellow brick road? I found the purple one and the polka-dotted one, but the yellow one eludes me.

[Kinetic IV]

In reference to your question CountB1ah, I prefer triangle. I agree with the good witch that monkey batter is quite disgusting. You can't make decent pancakes with it so I really just don't see the point. Has anyone seen the yellow brick road? I found the purple one and the polka-dotted one, but the yellow one eludes me.

Sedan, Kansas has a yellow brick road you can visit. Sadly, due to budget cuts the road was not completed so instead of following it to get to the Emerald City, you end up heading into the deep Kansas prairie instead.

Tangent: Some of the bricks in the yellow brick road have been signed by celebrities and I'm not talking Judy Garland either.

[Sensei]

Monkey batter, now that's disgusting. You procreate more than my dear munchkins!

Actually, we flying monkeys have been procreating with your dear muchkins. We've been doing it for years, ya' know. Have you ever seen Maria Carey up close? You didn't hear that from me.

[Ron]

[....Actually, we flying monkeys have been procreating with your dear muchkins. We've been doing it for years, ya' know. Have you ever seen Maria Carey up close? ...

Ah, ha! I knew she had to have some monkey blood in her. She looks too damn fine to be pure munchkin.....

Ron

[Sensei]

She looks too damn fine to be pure munchkin....

Like I said, have you ever seen her up close?

I didn't think so. She's scary, I'm tellin' ya!

[countb1ah]

[quote="Dorothy"]In reference to your question CountB1ah, I prefer triangle. I agree with the good witch that monkey batter is quite disgusting. You can't make decent pancakes with it so I really just don't see the point. Has anyone seen the yellow brick road? I found the purple one and the polka-dotted one, but the yellow one eludes me.[/quote]

Rumor has it that monkey batter is laced with essence of banana. Squirrel batter may suit you better. If you want to find the yellow brick road, go ask Alice..... She'll hook you up!

[alexamonkey]

I am the wicked witch of the west, and I will always win! Those who have not decided where their loyalties rest, rest assured... those who do not join me now will suffer even greater!!!!

Your Wicked Green Goddess, Commander Of All I Survey,
The Witch of the West

[SED]

Whom shall I scratch, O Wicked Queen?

[lothos 1162]

let it be flying blue monkey,ground monkey,tree hugging monkey.....IT'S STILL THE OTHER,OTHER WHITE MEAT,ESPECIALLY GOOD WITH SOY SAUCE AND GARLIC.Lothos

[blyslv]

... those who do not join me now will suffer even greater!!!!

Your Wicked Green Goddess, Commander Of All I Survey,
The Witch of the West

Holy Cow, talk about being thrust upon the horns of a dilemma!

My plans have changed. I can now be involved in this here shindig. But with whom to throw in my lot? It's a serious decision, not to made lightly.

[Dorothy]

Fear not the wicked witch's words, my dear blyslv, good will prevail on the playa this year. Your good deeds will be richly rewarded. Please help me and Toto escape the clammy clutches of the Wicked Witch! I must get to the Emerald City and that green monster mustn't have the ruby slippers.

[blueniteowl]

I'll bet five bucks that blyslv ends up with Dorothy.

[Sensei]

I'll bet five bucks that blyslv ends up with Dorothy.

Oh, poppies! Look, half of fucking Oz has been 'with Dorothy', know what I'm sayin'? Didn't you hear what she did with the Lollipop Guild? And what she did with their lollipops?

Now, you want a challenge, try peelin' those silky, lacy green undies offa the Wicked Witch... Now there's a fucking challenge!

Oh, wait. You were talkin' about taking sides in the upcoming 'war', weren't you? Oopsie, my bad.

[blyslv]

What's wrong with clammy clutches? Soft moist gentle pawing, with belabored breathing, ruby redness pulsing and softly splitting with the most delicate of thrusts, long lingering caressess.


Oh my.

[countb1ah]

Dorothy, if you find that you need a foot rub while strutting on the playa, I'll be happy to help you get out of those confining ruby reds. I'm your monke....er....I mean...Man! Yeah, that's right, your MAN. If I smell like bananas it's because of a potassium deficiency.

wonder if there is a Popsicle guild?

[blyslv]

Lemonjuice popsicles, inserted between the toes, have the salubrious effect of neutralizing playa akaline and sending a simply divine little frisson of joy down one's spine.

[Ron]

...Oh, poppies! Look, half of fucking Oz has been 'with Dorothy', know what I'm sayin'? Didn't you hear what she did with the Lollipop Guild? And what she did with their lollipops?

You say that like it's a bad thing.....

Ron

[Ron]

OK, this monkey has had enough. Threats from one side or the other, nothin' but attitude from the bosses, and a work environment that would make Ann Coulter scream, "Harassment!" It's enough to make a monkey mad!

That's right, I'm a mad flying monkey and I'm declaring my independence. When, in the course of monkey/witch affairs, it becomes necessary for one pack to split off from another, it's only right to expect a list of grievances. But I'm a mad monkey and don't have the patience. So let's just say that I'm taking my unappreciated batter elsewhere. Any other monkeys that want to stay out of the butter are welcome to join me in the big black pyramid on playa, floored with live grass.

The nation of Monkeden is born!

Ron

[SED]

O Wicked Queen

Heed not the feckless utterances of Ron. He is no monkey, but a mere naked ape!

I and my simian brethren pledge our fealty unto thee. Say but one word and we shall screech and hurl feces at this thing. Glance, and I personally will jerk off in front of his young daughter's school field trip.

I true monkey shall obey only you, Green Warted One. Fie and dead bats
on all else.

[Sensei]

Glance, and I personally will jerk off in front of his young daughter's school field trip.

That's it, I'm out.

Ron, where did you say this pyramid thingie is?

[countb1ah]

Hmmmmm.... Stealing shoes is one thing, but doing the hurky-jerky in front of kids? Ummmmm...... I'm a loyal follower of the Evil Green Godddess, but I'm not THAT creepy. I still have a thing for fragrant shoes, tho.....[/quote]

[gidget]

Butter and batter and munchkins, oh my!

All this foul mouthed monkey potty talk has my pink panties in a bubbly bunch! Dorothy, shield your ears... er... eyes, I mean. The Wizard will have much to say of these monkey shennanigans!

Please Monkey Minions, declare your independence from your wicked leader and hurl your feces in peace within your monkey pyramid, just leave the red shoes alone! Should any Munchkins want asylum in the Emerald City you are most welcome, candy and goodness await!

And Dorothy, how many times do I have to tell you, to find the yellow brick road it's a LEFT at the corn field, not a right, go straight for 2 blocks then 1.5 kilometers due north-east, another left at the orchard and if you hit the poppies you've gone to far...

[alexamonkey]

You ridiculous children, I'll slap down your resistance with the blink of an eye!

Glenda, you worthless, insignificant little garbage pile, you are no threat. I can crush you by barely lifting a finger. And as for you, Dorkothy, I promise before I remove your vile stench from this planet you will know despair beyond your wildest dreams!

Ron, you ignorant slut! Your pathetic attempts to woo my monkeys are nothing compared to my powers of persuasion, and ludicrous compared to my offers of sinister glory! You WILL fall in line or you will suffer with the rest!

SED, my devilish delight, you are a wise monkey indeed, as there are no greater rewards than those that come with allegiance to evil!
Now prepare yourself, lil monkey- and know that you have chosen the right side!

And for the rest of you-
The time has come- state your allegiance! But first a promise, and a warning:

The realm of good has no gifts to bestow upon you- They are users, you will see! They will take your alliance, your aid, & your time- in the end they will give you nothing in return but empty promises and false hopes- followed by eventual abandonment!!
Do not be foolish.
Now, as always, true glory lies in the hands of the wicked!

Your evil Queen,

The Witch of The West

[theCryptofishist]

And yet Apokaliptika hasn't recruited her...

[Ugly Dougly]

And yet Apokaliptika hasn't recruited her...

He has no power here.

FIRE, Scarecrow?