V Camp for Virgins w/Vaginas (maybe Veterans w/Vulvas too!)

[regynalonglank]

wow, well coming in on this late i realize, and perhaps beyond all possible hope for any meaningful contribution :) but i heard my name mentioned, and so i had to say something!

last year we hosted BED in our theme camp, DOTA, which had Esplanade frontage. some of my favorite memories from last year include:

having people show up randomly when i was in the shower, or getting dressed, or otherwise indisposed, who wanted to talk to me about talking about all things erotic...people who happily waited for me to appear and interact with them. they were so cute! i was sort of a one woman emmissary, as the sole BED rep in camp, there were other unofficial participants camped with us, but i ended up as the mouthpiece.

ANYWAYS!

my point is that several young men found their way to hang out with me and talk about how when you're a shy guy working on a big art project it's tough to get out there and mingle. we talked about how to know yourself, how to get to know your intended partner, and how to navigate the waters of intimacy when yer not such a strong swimmer.

we talked about how isolated they felt, how predatorial they seemed to appear even though that was not how they felt. we talked about how much they loved and respected women, and how they wished there was some way to find other like minded folks, who wanted to have someone to hang out with, walk around and check out art with, or go dancing with, without having it be wierd or assumed to be sexual, or assumed to be non sexual - basically how to connect when you're not a big connector.

in the process of hanging the potty posters i spoke with many women who appreciated our propaganda, who felt empowered by the words like "this is not a petting zoo" and needed that reassurance to know that you can still be a burner if you don't want someone you don't know to stick their hands down your underwear on an art car. that its ok to go tell a ranger about the things that happened to you that were not ok, that you're still cool if you don't want to give it up just cuz it's burning man.

and we tried to connect the folks who did want to get their freak on to like minded individuals who would happily accept them into their scene and get all freaky in their particular flavor of freakiness. god i love burningman!

but for me the best had to be running the booth at critical tits for erotic coaching...i had the later shift, and i really had a great time talking with women about what they wanted to get better at, try new things, get their spark back...and really what it all boiled down to, whether you were a woman wanting to feel more sexy or a man wanting to have more sex, was that you have to feed yourself first.

the crux of it always seemed to be that in order to attract one must feel attractive. and in order to feel attractive you have to give yourself what you need first. feed your head :) get out in nature, take time for yourself, become what you want to attract.

for the women (and some men too) it had to do with knowing what you want, or don't want, and being able to communicate that in a way that says "I am happy with my choice, I have no guilt around what i want and don't want, and I am able to present it in a way that is clear and friendly and non negotiable"

non negotiable meaning my thoughts are my own, and i don't need you to help me figure out what they are. negotiable in that if you want what i want then we can figure out how to both get what we want.

having said that, there are plenty of people who don't want Burning Man to be a sexual experience at all. they are there for the art, for the community, and they have plenty of sex at home, thank you very much.

so, just because someone is naked you cannot assume they want to have sex. just because someone is not all over you it cannot be assumed that they don't want intimacy, sexual or otherwise.

know yourself, communicate well, keep your eyes open, and watch your ass. like any other city, don't go out alone, let people know where you are going and who you will be with, and choose a partner who is sober enough to be making clear decisions

Consent is the Key. Without Consent you have Assault, or Rape. A Person who is Drunk, High, or otherwise Trashed cannot Give Consent. so Talk about What You Want before you get Schnockered.

there's my two pounds, for what it's worth

and anyone interested in getting into BED can PM me for more info.

peace, out!

[BoxaRox]

Oh shit! I thought this was the mens room. Sorry.

[BoxaRox]

ack! me again.
You really need a bigger sign on the door.

[thesacreddice]

The people who criticize this woman for wanting to experience Burning Man and yet being wary for very good reasons simply don't understand how very often EVEN in environments of heightened freedom and dignity women are molested or are at the very least distracted from their phenomenlogical engagement with the wonders around them by having to fend off a man.
If people want a safe space, let them have it. I know I went to a beautiful Flaming Lips concert full of loving, joyous people watching a loving joyous band...and then was subjected to some man grabbing my crotch from behind.
Lindsey Kate

[trilobyte]

A lot of material to read through. Having read Xta's posts and a number of the others (but not all), I'll chime in with my 2 cents.

Aside from the efforts you're putting into your own camp plans, you should look into BED (Bureau of Erotic Discourse). There site can be found here and they do some great work.

As for early placement so you could get the word out - well, that would be beneficial to just about any camp out there.

As for issues or concerns I'd have over a women-only camp (I can't remember exactly how you phrased it a few pages ago) - I'm just not really a fan of exclusionary groups. If the camp is just a group of women getting together, that's fine and good and just like all the other camps out there that unite around a common theme. A clown camp recruiting all clowns is fine, but if the same camp says clowns-only, it seems exclusionary and kind of rubs me the wrong way. That's my impression, at least.

Good luck!

~Trilo~

[theCryptofishist]

V camp joined eplaya bar camp months ago. We will be hosting BED seminars on Tuesday, Friday and possibly Thursday afternoon.

[trilobyte]

Excellent!

~Trilo~