**surreal, real, intimate, deep thoughts inserted here, OK??!! I mean this...**
Yesterday...or maybe the day before....I actually started to think I was going fucking insane with all this Burning Man and Transformus stuff...
Not just so much because of personal stuff that I happen to be going through...or the stuff I mind-fuck myself with lately, but because when I wake up - the first thing I think of when I open my eyes is Transformus and Burning Man Shit (tm).
Am I crazy? YEAH.... I've lost it, huh? I have!
Since moving out here to NC from Sacto, CA, last June 2005, I was welcomed whole-heartedly...embraced...
I have a great family out here!!!!
I won the fucking lottery, I tell you!!!!
see www.transformus.com, folks.....we are going places!!!!!!
Or maybe I have thought this for alot of years at BM, but most recently since I got involved with Transformus, our Southeastern ROCKING Regional...
I sometimes have to wonder....
When I wake up, I instantly think about Mysteria, our temporary City out in the Forest of Deerfields and the Pisqah National Forest...and Debra, Hoot, Word, Dzl, Kelly, Stan, Vespa, Spaceboy, Mediaeval Baebe, Haley, MaryEmily the pirate hootchy, ALL THOSE PEOPLE...
How did this happen? Why?
I go to work and, trust me, I love my job -- I have a very important position -- I am going high places -- people appreciate me and praise me daily (it's FREAKY!!) - but at any given moment of my 8 hour day there -- I am thinking TRANSFORMUS....and Burning Man...
Before I go to sleep...
When I brush my teeth...
While I am in the freaking shower...
While I type at my computer at work...
After I wipe my cootchie when I pee....
When I do the dishes or do the laundry...
When I talk on the phone...with anybody...
When I sit on my porch outside looking a freaking fluttering butterfly...
I really think I have a problem......or do I?
Is this normal? Am I a freak?
Why do I constantly think of LNT and MOOP?
Why do I see a costume in every goddamn piece of fabric I see?
Why is it when I hear a song I am making it into a MOOP SONG???!!!!!!!!
Sometimes I want to run away and join a 12-step Burner Program...
.......but not really...because I know you fuckers are as crazy as me.
I feel compulsive, obsessive, creative, artistic, belonging, loved, hated,
crazed, frazzled, stressed, accepted, challenged to every thing....
Sometimes I don't know how to handle all this.
I have never known this feeling before.
Stop me before I have another Sally Field crying moment...cuz...
I LOVE YOU...I REALLY FUCKING LOVE YOU.....
I need to be committed. That's all there is to it.
Goddess grant me the serenity....
Ahh, Fuck! I already have it!!!!!!!!!!!
