Get off your fat ass

unjonharley · Post by **unjonharley** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 9:47 am

Watch TV 2 hours a day for 30 days =60 hours X 12 months 720 or 1 mounth. Last nights news reported that Americans spend 5 months sitting at electronic each year. That would amount to 10 hours a day for 12 months.

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 4:24 pm

How much time on the netweb?

diane o'thirst · Post by **diane o'thirst** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 4:48 pm

Getting off my (not-as-fat) ass and onto the seatbones...grip with the knees, hands level, lower legs loose as spaghetti.

Check.

Toolmaker · Post by **Toolmaker** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 6:13 am

MY ASS IS NOT FAT! AND I DO NOT WATCH TV!!

My televisions do not work. One has the picture tube removed to improve channel selection with a fishtank. The other has a picture of Bush taped over it to cover the bullethole. I got tired of masturbating to exercise shows so now its just porn on the internet for my entertainment.

I highly recommend removing the picture tube from your TV and installing a fishtank. This will fix ANY TV!! You will get PERFECT reception, and every channel has something good on. Try to avoid using 45 caliber rounds to remove picture tube as the broken glass is a real sonofabitch to clean up.

Bitterman · Post by **Bitterman** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 10:04 am

No.
I will not give up my television.
It makes everything better.
It frees me from the unpleasantness of thought.
It always tells the truth.
It tells me what to consume.
It tells me what to eat /drink / wear / drive and buy.
Sometimes they even show *funny* caricatures of sickness, which is of course how i see myself - green and lodged under a toenail.........
which ties in nicely with all of the celebrity shows i watch repeatedly - its so nice to see people who are so much better than me spending endless, nameless amounts of money on themselves.
In fact, television just showed me that unless i buy my wife a lexus or a diamond, she wont love me, my neighbors will think less of me, and that my inherent worth is zero.
Oh television, thank you for being my religion, my brain, and my purpose for being alive, i always wanted to be a gastropod, but then, television, you already knew that, now didnt you?

Praise Television!!,
now i dont even have to go outside to watch thee Burning Man!!
I can "saw it on the TV"

bm

38 pounds and rising.

Mister Jellyfish Mister · Post by **Mister Jellyfish Mister** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 6:41 pm

I have a perfect ass.

I know this because I purchased the exercise product the TV told me to and now my ass is perfect.... well... almost. Sometimes shit still comes out of it.

SED · Post by **SED** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 7:03 pm

That post makes your ass look fat . . .

I'm just sayin' . . .

BAS · Post by **BAS** » Tue Dec 19, 2006 7:46 pm

That's ridiculous! I don't even OWN a donkey!