The Most Stupid Thing Homeland Security Took From You?

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Thu Dec 14, 2006 9:07 pm

Our local Homeland Security office was discovered to have been bugged.
I know there's a joke there.

BAS · Post by **BAS** » Fri Dec 15, 2006 8:51 pm

The ntsb guy suggested the proper protocol for comparing airline safety is by takeoffs and landings rather than miles traveled.

You know, as much as I don't like the idea of my car taking off, the landing would terrify me more...

B.

Toolmaker · Post by **Toolmaker** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 5:30 am

those jerks took my jerkoff jelly!

nogganoodle · Post by **nogganoodle** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 6:03 am

My sanity, while trying to get into the US through Chicago O'Hare.

I hope next year won't be such a bloody nightmare.

MikeVDS · Post by **MikeVDS** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 8:49 am

Wait a minute! If you've been useing it long enough, can't you use that to legaly change it?

You can always legally change it, and as far as I know you can go by anything you want, sign your name as anything you want, as long as you're not doing it for illegal purposes. I for example use neither my correct first or last name. The only thing that's correct on most documents is my middle initial (credit cards, work ID, passport, college records). My drivers license has my proper first name but the last name isn't even in the ballpark. At my job I had to go through a security clearance which a lot of people don't pass. I was a little worried something would come up but I got through no problem. I've flown to other countries and through the U.S. all under a "false" name and no one has ever cared. If your state is cracking down on that, you might as well legally change it if it's worth it to you, but as you fill out those legal forms make sure to fill out some letters to your representatives.

skibear · Post by **skibear** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 7:50 pm

A tiny 4 inch adgustable wrench they were afraid I'd use
to take the airplane apart with.

I found it hilarious that TSA,a US Govt agency, would sieze
US Govt property (the wrench came from a tool kit purchased
by the US Navy with your tax dollars)

The prez of my local ski club works for TSA. She had a pocket knife
siezed on a recent flight -guess her TSA ID did not get her off.

skibear · Post by **skibear** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 8:00 pm

gyre wrote:The ntsb guy suggested the proper protocol for comparing airline safety is by takeoffs and landings rather than miles traveled.
!

Yes, it's very desireable that the number of safe landings
equal the number of takeoffs.

Any landing you can walk away from is a safe landing !

BAS · Post by **BAS** » Tue Dec 19, 2006 7:42 pm

Yes, it's very desireable that the number of safe landings
equal the number of takeoffs.

What would it mean if the number of safe landings were to EXCEED the number of takeoffs...?

b.

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Tue Dec 19, 2006 10:44 pm

I think it might mean we are dealing with a more surreal plain than the NTSB is equipped to deal with.

The CO · Post by **The CO** » Tue Dec 19, 2006 11:04 pm

A 4 oz. tube of toothpaste that was over half empty...

While leaving a pair of 4 inch scissors, a nail clipper, an alchohol based hair gel and a lighter.

"Watch out, he's going to whiten the stewardess' teeth while removing plaque and tarter!"

Lassen Forge · Post by **Lassen Forge** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 3:17 am

skibear wrote: The prez of my local ski club works for TSA. She had a pocket knife
siezed on a recent flight -guess her TSA ID did not get her off.

Gads no. She should have known better. If they didn't, and she (or someone else) turned them in, well... why lose your job? As far as they knew, it may have been a set-up...

Funny enough, whenever I travel with firearms (yes, you can do that, and it's legal if you follow the rules) I get consistantly better treatment by security folk - like I'm part of the "in" crowd. Usually gets some chuckles - TSA in San Antonio actually made the comment "Gee, honey, do you *always* travel around this well heeled??" >>giggles<< - but is also an icebreaker of sorts. (What do you think of this VS that ammo, etc...)

Still - IMO I'd rather fly my own, esp. as bad as it is anymore.

bb

Killbuck · Post by **Killbuck** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 4:43 am

CO-

It is not well known, but true that terrorists are planning to use dental hygenists in their nefarious plans. Videos have surfaced that depict training using various over the counter ADA approved dentrafice to fashion makshift submachine guns and box cutters. Don't even THINK of the mayhem that can result form 7 inches of dental floss.

Those other items? Now on the approved list. And BB knws that the trick with the firearms is to be sure they are in a sealed clear plastic bag.

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 11:15 am

Toolmaker wrote:those jerks took my jerkoff jelly!

Too dehydrated to spit?

Toolmaker · Post by **Toolmaker** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 7:18 am

Ugly Dougly wrote:
Toolmaker wrote:those jerks took my jerkoff jelly!
Too dehydrated to spit?

Not enough spit available for such a large tool.

BAS · Post by **BAS** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 5:04 pm

Toolmaker wrote:
Ugly Dougly wrote:
Toolmaker wrote:those jerks took my jerkoff jelly!
Too dehydrated to spit?
Not enough spit available for such a large tool.

Really?! I don't need any!

(er, that doesn't sound right...

)

B.

Box Burner · Post by **Box Burner** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 11:54 pm

My 13 year old niece flew in from Florida to spend xmas with her mom. At the airport they confiscated her knitting looms.

And half of her yarn

They did not take the knitting hooks however.

akmojo · Post by **akmojo** » Fri Dec 22, 2006 1:14 am

they took my COUNTRY....

BAS · Post by **BAS** » Fri Dec 22, 2006 5:15 am

Box Burner wrote:My 13 year old niece flew in from Florida to spend xmas with her mom. At the airport they confiscated her knitting looms.

And half of her yarn

They did not take the knitting hooks however.

That-- is really stupid!

(Where they afraid she'd wrap the passengers in yarn and demand the plane be diverted to Disney World or something?

)

...and I could see confiscating the needles until the plane landed (after all, there is the remote possibility someone could get injured by those). But taking the looms, and half (HALF?!?) the yarn and leaving the needles? I don't get that at all!

Merry Christmas!

B.

BAS · Post by **BAS** » Fri Dec 22, 2006 5:19 am

akmojo wrote:they took my COUNTRY....

Mine, too. (Maybe a permanent move to the desert is in order...? Too bad my job is connected to the state.

)

B.

The Most Stupid Thing Homeland Security Took From You?

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