Tag & Release Canadians

[gyre]

The Canadian government has long required all Canadians to wear a maple leaf flag at all times.
This is seen as a way to promote national identity and help the economy,
especially since flag production is most of the gross national product.

However, with the looming threat of Canadian terrorism things have changed.
Gordie bin Ladin's recent speech- Death to America, eh? has shocked and confused everyone.
Arrangements have been made between Ottawa and homeland security that make it mandatory now that all Canadians be near or wearing the maple leaf flag at all times.
Because burning man takes place on federal land, the Canadian Identity Act must be followed.

All participants are urged to help our Canadian friends in this process.
Any Canadian citizen failing to follow the new protocols must be tagged properly and may then be released.
It is permissible to give them food and drink before release.
It is not acceptable to harm them in the tagging process.

We wish to thank you in advance for your cooperation.

[misfit]

where is the appropriate place to tag a canadian.?.
what about french canadians.?.
what sort of personal protective equipment should be worn when approaching a canadian.
and if a canadian is found down as road kill from art car, are they safe to eat.?.

[BAS]

where is the appropriate place to tag a canadian.?.
what about french canadians.?.
what sort of personal protective equipment should be worn when approaching a canadian.
and if a canadian is found down as road kill from art car, are they safe to eat.?.

To answer the questions in order:

The ear.

The tongue.

A protective "cup", face mask, scarf, and boxing gloves.

Only after they have been tested for "Canadian Wasted" disease. It is not known if this condition is transmittable to non-Canadians; however, after finding a large number of non-Canadian college students apparently wasted along with some Canadian foriegn exchange students, we feel it is best not to take the chance.


The message Courtesy of the Office of Homeless Security.

[The CO]

Quebecois use the fluer de lis, they still think they are there own country.

[unjonharley]

I ave nickers that made of mother english's flag. Grandfather got them for me his last trip to Scoland..

[gyre]

There are tens of thousands of Canadian flag products and any are acceptable when visible.
Even carrying a flag is deemed acceptable, if your Canadian is willing to.
When approaching a Canadian, you may be caught off guard by a seeming excess of cheerfulness and courtesy, and forget to tag.
Protective equipment is usually unnecessary unless you are dealing with french Canadians.
If you are a supposed figure of authority, you may be made sport of by anyone from British Columbia.

It is unknown if french Canadians are willing to leave their natural environment to attend.

[gyre]

Knickers would qualify, of course, as long as they are visible.

[gyre]

and if a canadian is found down as road kill from art car, are they safe to eat.?.

If an art car is involved, you may wish to contact the medical tent or the dmv.
I believe there is already an organized event that involves eating Canadians.

[theCryptofishist]

But what about Alaskans? They're wannabeCanandians!

[The CO]

I think Quebecois are wannabe Alaskans.

How do you get 100 drunken rowdy Canadians out of a bar?

Say "Excuse me, it's time to go home now."

Tabernac!

[Isotopia]

I think Quebecois are wannabe Alaskans.

I think the Quebecois are wannabe French.

And that scares me somewhat.

[K-mom]

Gyre, you come at me with one of those flags you know I'm gonna hit you with a mapletov syrup cocktail!

Wait, if I was from BC what was I allowed to make sport of? Larry? BMOrg? You, for instigating all this? Shit, you know we all have two second memories in this pocket of the land.....[/i]

[gyre]

Second memory?

[gyre]

Oh, two second memory.
Got it.


Canadian grafitti-

OBEY THE RULES!

[Ugly Dougly]

In Minnesota, we were content to smite them with hockey sticks. Ah how times change.

[bgirl]

I think Quebecois are wannabe Alaskans.

I think the Quebecois are wannabe French.

And that scares me somewhat.

I just had to let ya know, the Quebecois are French. Check out this, or any other history book, if you don't believe me : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of ... .931607.29

[gyre]

So, they aren't Canadian?

[The CO]

They use Canadian money. They are subject to Canadian law. They demanded the rest of Canada go bilingual (but don't follow that themselves).

[Bin Noddin]

Still sore at Gen'l Wolfe. But, yeah, they're Canadians who can't quite admit it and can't quite deny it. Oh, and French, too. What a headache they must have.

[dragonfly Jafe]

Blame Canada! Blame Canada!

[Fex]

Blame Canada! Blame Canada!

Eeegh... those beady eyes... those flappin' heads.....

<<shudder>>

[dragonfly Jafe]

...upon further research, it appears our neighbors to the North are more dangerous than they first appear;

Canada has at least four territorial disputes with its Arctic neighbors - two with the United States, one with Russia and one with Denmark - that could flare up with the receding ice.

Canada already accuses Denmark of launching invasions of its Arctic domain by sending ice-reinforced frigates, the HDMS Vaedderen in 2002 and HDMS Triton in 2003, to stake a Danish claim to Hans Island.

The tiny pimple of rock and ice, home to a seal colony that attracts the occasional hungry polar bear, is so small it does not even show on most maps. But neither side is backing down.

The Danes, who already own Greenland, say they own Hans Island as well. During both trips, Danish marines landed, raised the kingdom's flag and left plaques asserting their claim.

....and we think Bush is bad....geez!

[Bin Noddin]

Just upset that they gave up the Virgin Islands?

[gyre]

I just wanted to remind everyone about the Canadian Identity Act.

[wedeliver]

The city of Regina always made me think of Vigina.

[Bin Noddin]

I took a dip in the Fraser River once. Oh, that's ccccccccccccold.

[honeyfire]

Soooo....
i'm only a wannabe Canuck and i often wear a maple leaf somewhere on my person.
What does this mean?

[gyre]

Maybe a Canadian should take this one?

So where do you wear it?

[theCryptofishist]

Soooo....
i'm only a wannabe Canuck and i often wear a maple leaf somewhere on my person.
What does this mean?

that you are trying to pass overseas

[redwoodrob]

i like their bacon