Can't go to the burn?

tisha2 · Post by **tisha2** » Mon Feb 12, 2007 1:11 pm

howdy strangers...

a friend just sent this to me (since i had just informed him that i'm probably staying home this year to escort the little one to her first week of school!). i found it *hilarious* and just had to share. feel free to add your own...

How to Enjoy the Burning Man Experience from the Comfort of Your Own Home

Tear down your house. Put it in a truck. Drive 10 hours in any direction. Put the house back together. Invite everyone you meet to come over and party. When everyone leaves, follow them back to their homes, drink all their booze, and break things.

Buy a new set of expensive camping gear. Break it.

Stack all your fans in one corner of your living room. Put on your most fabulous outfit. Turn the fans on full blast. Dump a full vacuum cleaner bag in front of them.

Pitch your tent next to the wall of speakers in a crowded, noisy club.
Go to sleep. Wake up 2 hours later in a 110+ degree tent.

Buy a new pair of favorite shoes. Throw one shoe away.

Only use the toilet in a house that is at least 3 blocks away. Drain all the water from the toilet. Only flush it every 4 days. Hide all the toilet paper.

Pay an escort of your affectionate preference to not bathe for five days, cover themselves in glitter, dust, and sunscreen, wear a skanky neon wig; dance closely naked with you, then say they have a lover back home at the end of the night.

Visit a restaurant and pay them to let you alternate lying in the walk-in freezer and sitting in the oven.

Donâ€™t sleep for 5 days. Take a wide variety of hallucinogenic/emotion altering drugs. Pick a fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend.

Cut, burn, electrocute, bruise, and sunburn various parts of your body.
Forget how you did it. Donâ€™t go to a doctor.

Spend a whole year rummaging through thrift stores for the perfect, most outrageous costume. leave it somewhere.

Spend weeks preparing and freezing tasty, nutritious food and then forget it in your trunk for a few days of 110 degree heat. Eat it anyway - and like it.

Listen to music you hate for 168 hours straight, or until you think you are going to scream. Scream. Realize youâ€™ll love the music for the rest of your life.

joel the ornery · Post by **joel the ornery** » Mon Feb 12, 2007 1:42 pm

all my days are like that.

i won't be attending this year, unless i fall into a small fortune to cover the expense of creating my studio.

i intend to burn something at my new place on labor day weekend.

it would be GREAT if it were a glaze firing!

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Mon Feb 12, 2007 6:22 pm

10 hours!!!
10 hours!!!

Wimps.

Zulegoona · Post by **Zulegoona** » Mon Feb 12, 2007 6:33 pm

We will miss you, Itâ€™s the people that make the event ,your absence will diminish it....

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Fri Apr 20, 2007 9:03 pm

Still funny.

10 hours driving?
Some of you have it so plush.

nogganoodle · Post by **nogganoodle** » Sat Apr 21, 2007 1:22 am

10 hours driving?
Some of you have it so plush.

Well said!

I'm 4000 miles away. Takes me a while to get there...

Sensei · Post by **Sensei** » Sat Apr 21, 2007 1:58 am

Ms. Noggan, in all the excitement I've lost track, are you, um, ya' know, going to come?

To the burn, I mean.

p.s. I'm still tingling.

nogganoodle · Post by **nogganoodle** » Sat Apr 21, 2007 11:20 am

Ms. Noggan, in all the excitement I've lost track, are you, um, ya' know, going to come?

To the burn, I mean.

p.s. I'm still tingling

Why of course Mr Sensei. I will be camping with the esteemed B(o)(o)by Bar.

The tingling will never stop..

Lorgasm · Post by **Lorgasm** » Sat Apr 21, 2007 5:39 pm

Hey Tisha,

First, let me add that I will miss you this year and will be anticipating our next get together.

Second, as far as things to bring the BM experience home, you can also keep the light on in the vehicle so that after so many days, you can't get the damn thing started!!

Not that that has ever happened to me...nope..not me...
Peace and Love,
Lorgasm

Nickel · Post by **Nickel** » Mon Apr 23, 2007 4:33 pm

God I love home. I can't wait to go back.