So basically, I've screwed myself.

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Tue Feb 20, 2007 1:34 pm

Burning man is very stressful sometimes.
You don't want someone to come that doesn't want to go.
I have met a surprising number of people that were told 'get in the car' and taken to burning man with no warning.
I don't meet the ones that didn't come back though.

A lot of people won't go.
I can't figure out why.
From 2500 miles out you don't get casual burners.

SnowBlind · Post by **SnowBlind** » Tue Feb 20, 2007 2:04 pm

Blackbird wrote:I don't want to wait until late july to find out whether she's going.

If it takes a worry of your mind, its usually not very hard to sell tickets shortly before the event. Keep in mind that ticket prices will go up. They are 250 now and will be 280 soon. So if you got a 195 or 225 ticket, you can always sell it fairly easy. Also, after June 30th there will be no more mail order, only Will Call, so some people might be more inclined to buy your ticket, just to have it in their hand.

I sold a 225 ticket last year two weeks before the event, just put it on Craigslist and had several replies an hour later. Was no problem at all.

Lassen Forge · Post by **Lassen Forge** » Tue Feb 20, 2007 2:40 pm

mojo wrote:Blackbird - BBSue is wise, as usual. The single most important thing is to enjoy the experience and the experience has already begun - a big part of it is the preparation and the journey. Take it easy on yourself and enjoy the ride.

Awww gee, mojo... >blush<... you're just still buzzing from being a Blini-bunny this morning!!

mojo also wrote:It sounds like Pinemom, the Queen of the Booby Bar, has extended the invitation to camp with them. It just doesn't get much better than that.

I agree... it doesn't get better than that. Plus they camp near a bunch of other awesome camps.

and finally, mojo wrote: I can't think of anyone on this board who would not stop to help should you have any problems.

In short, you have far more friends than you know - you just haven't met us all yet.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

bb

Blackbird · Post by **Blackbird** » Tue Feb 20, 2007 3:31 pm

SnowBlind wrote:
If it takes a worry of your mind, its usually not very hard to sell tickets shortly before the event. Keep in mind that ticket prices will go up. They are 250 now and will be 280 soon. So if you got a 195 or 225 ticket, you can always sell it fairly easy. Also, after June 30th there will be no more mail order, only Will Call, so some people might be more inclined to buy your ticket, just to have it in their hand.

I sold a 225 ticket last year two weeks before the event, just put it on Craigslist and had several replies an hour later. Was no problem at all.

The actual selling of the ticket I am not worried about at all. I know how easy it is, I have at least two friends who want to buy this one off me. (BTW, mine is at the 250 level, bought it last week and it's still not here

) As I told another person earlier, I can handle it when things don't go according to plan, I just can't handle not having one at all. I tend to be hyper-organized-probably to a fault, but thats okay with me. If I wait until july for her to decide, that means I also have to wait until then to figure out rides, campmates, etc. I don't really feel comfortable doing that.

How much longer do y'all expect the 250 level to be around? I think I might tell her I'm selling that ticket and if she decides to come she can buy one then. No big deal, eh?. . . .I hope not, ha.

MrMullen · Post by **MrMullen** » Tue Feb 20, 2007 3:46 pm

I am a little late to the party but I will give my two cents on the whole subject.

You need to change your mind set on the ticket and look at it in a business manner. The key word is "sunk cost".

The ticket is a $250 sunk cost. If you do not sell it and recover your funds, it is a $250 sunk cost. You will never see that money again and at the very least, you call it a $250 lesson. If you do not want to sell the ticket, then you need to focus on how to save the rest of your BM experience. Which might include but not limited to ditching your friend and telling her you will not be camping with her and her ex-boyfriend before the event even starts. Don't try to save your $250 buy limiting the interaction between your friend and her ex. That is their business and not really your place to mess with that. Plus, trying to keep two people a part or trying to limit the impact of one person over another is a pointless task and only will have a negative impact on your good times. If the two of them or their interaction on each other starts to ruin your good times, don't be afraid to cut your losses and move your tent away from them and politely tell them that you don't want anything to do with them (if it gets that bad).

Yes, losing $250 sucks but don't focus on that and focus on how you can move forward and have an awesome Burningman 2007. Don't worry about transportation, there are tons of people that can get you to BM from where you are.

Blackbird · Post by **Blackbird** » Tue Feb 20, 2007 3:57 pm

MrMullen wrote:
. Don't try to save your $250 buy limiting the interaction between your friend and her ex. That is their business and not really your place to mess with that. Plus, trying to keep two people a part or trying to limit the impact of one person over another is a pointless task and only will have a negative impact on your good times. If the two of them or their interaction on each other starts to ruin your good times, don't be afraid to cut your losses and move your tent away from them and politely tell them that you don't want anything to do with them (if it gets that bad).

.

Fair enough, I agree with you on the business aspect. But you probably misread. My ex, not hers. Thanks though

MrMullen · Post by **MrMullen** » Tue Feb 20, 2007 4:07 pm

Blackbird wrote: Fair enough, I agree with you on the business aspect. But you probably misread. My ex, not hers. Thanks though

How embarrassing! I read your post twice and still thought it was her ex.

Anyways, advice still applies but with the extra caution, "Don't camp near your ex" warning.

I really think you should just find somewhere else to camp and save yourself a whole lot of trouble.

Ron · Post by **Ron** » Tue Feb 20, 2007 5:24 pm

So I'll second what most everyone else has said and add this. Seems to me that the biggest problem with your friend's situation is your own desire to create drama around it. Give up on having any investment on weather or not your friend goes, and what kind of time she has if she does go. Both are her look out, not yours.

Financially you can look at that ticket as a fine investment. If she goes she gets a break by paying you for it. If she doesn't, bring it along. I and other friends have had great times going outside the gate, late in the week, and selling our extra tickets to the folk waiting in line. We make friends, cut some lucky folk's wait and have a blast while doing it all at the same time. The gate folk can sometimes be power nazis about it, but the other half of the time they're great just like the folk who are waiting in line.

So let your friend worry about herself. If she goes, if she doesn't, if she has a blast, if she gets airlifted to Reno, it's her issue not yours. As long as you're not abusing her in any way, as long as you're polite and respectuf and, well, friendly, you've done your job. The rest is up to her. Be free, Blackbird, and fly, fly away! :)

Ron

Atar · Post by **Atar** » Wed Feb 21, 2007 4:11 am

gyre wrote:You must be talking one way?

Oh, right. That was one way, yeah

So 6000 miles total. Still had a blast though

pinemom · Post by **pinemom** » Wed Feb 21, 2007 5:16 am

alrighty Blackbird...I have a theory...and its just that a theory...
Im beginning to think after reading everything that YOU might be the one with Drama worries. Im not saying this to be mean...NOT AT ALL.

But it sounds like you need to go climb a mt (or a hill) find a rock and sit on it for a lengthy piece of time and contemplate whats really going on. This I say with much seriousness...Important to clear mind first, then use that new found clearness to reivaluate, use that new found power to sum up where the Drama is coming from. Your fears of said "drama" may be only that. Fears.

Alot of things change out at burningman, from default world.

My biggest suggestion...and this is only suggestion, is perhaps you should Camp somewhere different from your friend and X.
Might change everyone! Then ya can find them later in the week, after everyones defragged from default world, and has that yummy burningman feeling.

Maybe a meeting of the minds is required, sit down with the X and Friend now, before plans are firm. and hash it out in a non-emotional way, maybe hand out valium before the meeting...hahhaa, I dont know.

Everyone come to the table with their concerns(WRITTEN DOWN) Try to stay on topic. maybe use a talking stick, the one who is talking is only one talking ...all comments have to be written on a piece of paper, or not uttered at all. You'll find the human mind works at times against us.
When having an arguement, if people were made to argue on paper, after re-reading it, most of the comments would be thrown away.
We humans sometimes dont see or hear how emotional or off-base we are. But man putting that shit down in ink. woah...that can really open one's eyes!

CapSmashy · Post by **CapSmashy** » Wed Feb 21, 2007 6:40 am

Gotta watch them talking sticks...

If you're holding it and talking to the person that pissed you off, you might start whacking them with it.

Blackbird · Post by **Blackbird** » Wed Feb 21, 2007 10:10 am

pinemom wrote:alrighty Blackbird...I have a theory...and its just that a theory...
Im beginning to think after reading everything that YOU might be the one with Drama worries. Im not saying this to be mean...NOT AT ALL.

Not unlikely, but it's not as if my friend is completely normal and drama-free. . . Not gonna bad-mouth here, but...Yeah, that's all I'll say.

Maybe a meeting of the minds is required, sit down with the X and Friend now, before plans are firm. and hash it out in a <b>non-emotional </b>way, maybe hand out valium before the meeting...hahhaa, I dont know.

That would be interesting. I don't think many people can have a non-emotional discussion with their closest friends about something like this. I would be impressed to see that.

We humans sometimes dont see or hear how emotional or off-base we are. But man putting that shit down in ink. woah...that can really open one's eyes!

Ain't that the truth? I am incredibly guilty of this. But, having been through several years of therapy et cetera, I am pretty sure I am better than most people at "Stepping back" and looking at how much of a shithead I'm being. I could be wrong, but that's just what I've noticed. Most of the time I can see when I'm overreacting or being overly-analytical.

CagedKitty · Post by **CagedKitty** » Wed Feb 21, 2007 10:40 am

I think if you told your ex it's none of his business, or you haven't decided what drugs or sex you will or won't do there, you would find out very quickly whether you want to camp with him or not.

It sounds like your girl friend isn't very excited about going. You can ask her. If she says she still may want to go, you can plan on her deciding on July 4th. Start making your plans the way you want them to be as if she weren't going, and let her hop on board whenever she wants. I think you'll have to find other people to get excited about it with you if she's not.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed Feb 21, 2007 12:05 pm

Okay, you mentioned the "manic" quality of your state when tickets were bought. I don't know how "serious" you were (i.e. truly bipolar or just using colorful language.) Do NOT want to fuss at you inappropriately. If there IS a bipolar componant, you might want to work with your prescribing physician and talk therapist carefully beforehand. The stress of the desert may interfere with your normal dosage/regime. If it is a possible issue, you might want to have one or two people on playa you trust have a good medical history ect, so that someone there can help if there are issues.

Blackbird · Post by **Blackbird** » Wed Feb 21, 2007 12:55 pm

CagedKitty wrote:I think if you told your ex it's none of his business, or you haven't decided what drugs or sex you will or won't do there, you would find out very quickly whether you want to camp with him or not.

Well I said why does it matter or something similar. I don't and won't do drugs (tried, liked for a while, don't like them so much anymore), so that's not really an issue. I realize lots of people do them (according to people telling me this) but I don't really have a big temptation to take drugs, cause they make me feel shitty, so I am not even thinking about that.

As for the sex and to thecryptofishist's remarks about my mental health: Not going there, not here.

have a nice day

falk · Post by **falk** » Wed Feb 21, 2007 1:21 pm

Blackbird wrote:
ibdave wrote:Blackbird, Just where is your nest located at???
Lovely Santa Cruz, CA.

If you're in the Bay Area, you will have zero problems finding a different camp to join or someone to carpool with.

(Note: please carpool if you can; it breaks my heart to see so many vehicles coming from the Bay Area with only one person in them.)

In another few months, camps will start advertising here looking for people to help out. Find one with a project you think would be really cool and sign up. You'll have months to get to know them, and they won't be strangers when you arrive to camp with them.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed Feb 21, 2007 3:50 pm

Blackbird wrote: thecryptofishist's remarks about my mental health: Not going there, not here.

No problem. And I wasn't even trying to accuse you of anything so much as taking the opportunity to discuss one of my little crochets publically--which is proper preparation for any sort of illness on the playa.

Blackbird · Post by **Blackbird** » Wed Feb 21, 2007 4:09 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:
Blackbird wrote: thecryptofishist's remarks about my mental health: Not going there, not here.
No problem. And I wasn't even trying to accuse you of anything so much as taking the opportunity to discuss one of my little crochets publically--which is proper preparation for any sort of illness on the playa.

nah, I understand. This just isn't even remotely the proper place for me to discuss things like that. I realize mental health is important in any situation really, but especially when one is out in the dessert with a bazillion strangers.

skygod · Post by **skygod** » Thu Feb 22, 2007 9:59 am

Blackbird wrote: He grilled me, asking me if i would use drugs or alcohol or sleep with strangers.

Excuse me? WTF business is that of his?

Just get to the playa and be self-sufficient and everything else will work itself out.

Post by **trilobyte** » Thu Feb 22, 2007 6:16 pm

You haven't screwed yourself at all..

Others have already given you some great advice, and I think you already know what course of action you need to take.

For the friend, tell her that either way is absolutely fine, but you need her to step up by a certain date (either pass on the ticket, or pay you). You're going to need the money for your own trip, and if she's unable to get on board by then you need to be able to sell the ticket.

For the camp, you're already in the company of many MANY fine people. There's a Thursday night weekly in Santa Cruz called Flipside, while I've never been I know the people who put it on, and would guess at least half those who make it to Flipside also go to the playa. And set your sights on an event called Raindance, usually held the weekend after memorial day in the SC mountains. It's a great weekend primer, and a place to meet countless amazing people. Whether the people you meet become campmates or just form a solid support structure as you go it alone, you'll be fine.

The drive will be fine, too. Between now and then I'm certain you'll connect with someone you'll feel comfortable riding with. That'll cut down on the stress as well as the expense (since someone will pitch in on gas).

God luck~

~Trilo~

Blackbird · Post by **Blackbird** » Thu Feb 22, 2007 9:49 pm

Thanks so much everybody! So I have unofficially sold my ticket (as it hasn't arrived in the mail yet

) to a buddy who is going, and informed my friend if/when she decides to go, she can get a ticket.

ibdave · Post by **ibdave** » Thu Feb 22, 2007 10:03 pm

Blackbird wrote:Thanks so much everybody! So I have unofficially sold my ticket (as it hasn't arrived in the mail yet ) to a buddy who is going, and informed my friend if/when she decides to go, she can get a ticket.

<<<<Clapping>>>>

Blackbird · Post by **Blackbird** » Thu Feb 22, 2007 10:24 pm

ibdave wrote:
Blackbird wrote:Thanks so much everybody! So I have unofficially sold my ticket (as it hasn't arrived in the mail yet ) to a buddy who is going, and informed my friend if/when she decides to go, she can get a ticket.
<<<<Clapping>>>>

I'm glad you approve

MrMullen · Post by **MrMullen** » Thu Feb 22, 2007 10:31 pm

Blackbird wrote:Thanks so much everybody! So I have unofficially sold my ticket (as it hasn't arrived in the mail yet ) to a buddy who is going, and informed my friend if/when she decides to go, she can get a ticket.

It might be a little rough with you and your friend but I think you made a good move.

LeChatNoir · Post by **LeChatNoir** » Thu Feb 22, 2007 11:09 pm

So I have unofficially sold my ticket...

You do mean that you sold your extra ticket, right?

Blackbird · Post by **Blackbird** » Thu Feb 22, 2007 11:23 pm

LeChatNoir wrote:
So I have unofficially sold my ticket...

You do mean that you sold your extra ticket, right?

RIGHT! I forgot to make that specificiation. yes, my EXTRA ticket.

LeChatNoir · Post by **LeChatNoir** » Thu Feb 22, 2007 11:35 pm

Ok... good. Now you can get on with planning your adventure!!!

CagedKitty · Post by **CagedKitty** » Fri Feb 23, 2007 10:32 am

Good!
and now practice saying "It's none of your business." Cuz you didn't stand your ground very well. I wasn't even asking you, and you told all of us your plans. :)

Blackbird · Post by **Blackbird** » Fri Feb 23, 2007 12:46 pm

CagedKitty wrote:Good!
and now practice saying "It's none of your business." Cuz you didn't stand your ground very well. I wasn't even asking you, and you told all of us your plans.

What's your point? I wasn't aware I had to "Stand my ground". . .generally that is reserved for situations in which I need to defend myself.

LeChatNoir · Post by **LeChatNoir** » Fri Feb 23, 2007 1:15 pm

I think it was just a poke in the ribs, Blackbird...

Don't feel bad, though. Its nothing personal. Cats simply must mess with birds every now and then. Its an itch that can't always be left unscratched.

So basically, I've screwed myself.

Re: So basically, I've screwed myself.