Fucking Airlines

[nogganoodle]

Fucking Airlines!

Hey good people, I just made it back to the UK after a 28 hour, yes 28 hour delay. I'm sure they cancelled the flight just for fun! Oh what a laugh!

Its nice to be back on the eplaya and catch up with a weeks worth of stuff. I just want to say Howdy to all the good people I met, I hope you are all well. I dream of the playa every night and I'm sure I will for the foreseeable future.

Same time next year? Xx

[joel the ornery]

i hope they put in up in a hotel, and free drinks on the flight. if not, the bastards.

[nogganoodle]

Well i got a hotel for the night but only one free drink. BASTARDS!

I've decided that Chicago Airport sucks dick.

[SED]

Another great reason to have a dick.

[Kinetic IV]

O'Hare does suck. At least you made it home safe and sound and that's what's important.

[BAS]

Same time next year? Xx

Hopefully-- I'll have to see how money and vacation time works out.

A 28 hour delay certainly sucks! (Of course, parts of my 2,000 mile road trip got to be harrowing-- seeing double, hallucinating, and having trouble staying in the lane does not make for a good drive! )


Glad to know you made it back safe!

B.

[Lorgasm]

So glad Everyone made it back safe. I agree with the Ohare Airports sucking big ones. Was there on stand by 2 years ago coming back from the burn. Houston Airport suck major dick (Its the George Bush Airport) Its so friggin big and they suck at scheduling connecting flights. This year on way back we missed our flight out of SF so had to wait till 10 PM to be put on flight to NEWARK to get to Florida. Security was unfuckenbelievable. They took my playa dust (savages) it was not on my carry on. What WAS on my carry on which they did not take was my nail clippers, lighters, and tape recorder. go figure.

Well, Peace and Good TImes Everybody.
Lorgasm

[EvilDustBooger]

...remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school
diploma to fix one.
Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our
jobs.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripesheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an
accident.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.


P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last..................

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

[sputnik]

Chicago! So close and yet so far. Glad you made it home OK though. Hope to catch you on the playa

[Toolmaker]

Thats a very old joke EDB but still funny. I saw something very similar from a relative thats an A&P mechanic among other things for a different airline. From what I understand the name of the airline changes and there are many slight variations to some of the cause/effect situations. The version you have is HEAVILY modified from the version I saw 10 years ago. Also some of the terminology was changed. The frontend about being able to work on planes right out of highshool is a bit bogus and wasn't on the version I saw. I had considered going to Colorado AeroTech but gavce up the career choice upon finding out I was colorblind with blue/green. Can't handle the complex wiring with that problem. So I became a machinist and have made parts for all kinds of aircraft in the past. I still have a couple parts I brought home from work, one is a pin cap rotor for a sikorsky sky crane helicopter. Even though replacement parts are sourced out to the cheapest bidders I will still fly, beats the long drives even with the ocassional setback/delay.

[EvilDustBooger]

... I will still fly, beats the long drives even with the ocassional setback/delay.

I hear ya.
At the very least, if an airplane runs into you, you can usually count on the pilot being insured.




but, you know..
I felt instant sympathy for Lorgasm when I read "NEWARK"


NEWARK=HELL on Earth

[gyre]

When my car breaks down,
I don't drop 30000 feet.

If I don't have to go over 2000 miles I'd rather skip the experience.
Faster to drive.

[BAS]

I right around 2000 miles (depending upon where in Wisconsin I leave from). I wound up driving, because I didn't want to try to get all of my stuff on to an airplane in these days of fear.... Plus I hadn't seen that part of the country yet.

I'm leaning toward driving the next time, too. Maybe I am just a masochist....


B.

[Toolmaker]

If I don't have to go over 2000 miles I'd rather skip the experience.
Faster to drive.

After doing the FL to PA 19 hour drive a few dozen times I prefer the 2 hour flight. I will however drive a few hundred from time to time. Sorry to hear ya don't like taking to the air. I have always loved flying, especially ultralights. Too bad I can't afford to have a little Cessna or Beechcraft else I would never fly commercial.

[gyre]

I like flying fine, in spite of the near miss at LAX this trip.
It's airports and airlines that pack you in like a fish I don't care for.

I actually flew a single engine over a city awhile back.
It had a fresh Lycoming in it or I would have been nervous.
You can check maintenance records of airlines too.

But for burning man I think driving is more practical if you have time.
I want to loop the country next time.
It was always my plan anyway.
I figure ten thousand miles or so.
I met folks from florida who did it towing a theme camp.
I wouldn't have tried that!

[gyre]

After doing the FL to PA 19 hour drive a few dozen times I prefer the 2 hour flight. I will however drive a few hundred from time to time. Sorry to hear ya don't like taking to the air. I have always loved flying, especially ultralights. Too bad I can't afford to have a little Cessna or Beechcraft else I would never fly commercial.

If I can choose I'll take a gulfstream.
I love their ad-
Fly yourself and twenty of your closest friends at 600 miles an hour nonstop to Hong Kong in luxury.

I like the near vertical climb rate too.