Take It To Zsu Zsu

Mister Jellyfish Mister · Post by **Mister Jellyfish Mister** » Wed Sep 05, 2007 9:05 am

Got a drama queen? Tell them to take it to Zsu Zsu! Here the French crybaby bitch answers all...

Burning Man is over, Zsu Zsu, how's it going?

"I sit here in my stupid pink caravan zat HE thought was zo wonderful. I put my pretty head out to spit at everyone and zey are gone. I don't care. I shall eat my poodle and ZEN zey will see what idiots zey are. I am utterly alone, as it should be. Would you like to hear my new poem? Shut up and listen...

Stupid poem
Why do I bother?

Do you like it? I don't care. Fuck off.

I am running out of chocolate fingers in ze desert. Zey claim zey will come back for me with a two inch ball hitch or some pig dog mechanic talk. Yes, perhaps next year to find my beautiful corpse snearing at zem. Zen zey will know what zey have done to poor Zsu Zsu!

Fuck you.

You love me,

-Zsu Zsu."

Mister Jellyfish Mister · Post by **Mister Jellyfish Mister** » Thu Sep 06, 2007 10:10 am

"Would you like to have a conversation about my ass? It is perfect in every way. Crawl up it now and smell my perfume, ztupid heeppie. Perhaps it will allow me to tolerate you and your tedious art. I would shit upon a lace handkerchief and "gift" you, but you are not worthy of Zsu Zsu's affections.

Fuck you.

You love me.

-Zsu Zsu"

Z Spy · Post by **Z Spy** » Sat Sep 08, 2007 1:11 pm

Zsu Zsu you seem so "le sensa" but how can that be, are you "Super Duper"?

Mister Jellyfish Mister · Post by **Mister Jellyfish Mister** » Sat Sep 08, 2007 2:18 pm

I can't believe it! Zsu Zsu had chosen to speak to you, Z-Spy! I thought she hated women even more than men! Click here for a special audio message from Zsu Zsu:

http://192.20.225.55/tts/speech/485fdf7 ... 9831eb.wav

Mister Jellyfish Mister · Post by **Mister Jellyfish Mister** » Mon Sep 10, 2007 10:31 am

Ztupeed fucking computer! No matter, Zsu Zsu sent you a dead link to antagonize you.

Would you like to meet my little pet? He lives here with me in my pink trailer piece of shit. He is a ferret. His name is Filth. He nibbles at my perfectly pointed nose. Perhaps I will cook him and serve to you heepies. You like him, Oui?

Fuck you.

You love me.

-Zsu Zsu

Z Spy · Post by **Z Spy** » Mon Sep 10, 2007 3:00 pm

I was wondering how long is was going to take you to figure out your computer error .... a ha, your not the know-it-all after all (hmmmm) ..... as I've been zspying, I know others are interested in our mindless chit-chat but are not joining us, have you scared them off you "affreux catin"? I'm surprised at the ferret, I thought you would indeed have a "French Pussy" named "Fout Fout" since as Splat stated, we heard 574 times :D

Mister Jellyfish Mister · Post by **Mister Jellyfish Mister** » Mon Sep 10, 2007 4:28 pm

Yes, Zsu Zsu is a jealous lover-- the kind who does not love... or does she?

I suppose we should let our friends here know that Zsu Zsu is an art installation for Burning Man 2008. I'm still fleshing out details. The ferret was my daughter's idea. I like it better than a poodle and it sounds great in a French accent. We will need an actress to do the voice overs. Any leads?

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Mon Sep 10, 2007 6:26 pm

I believe Robbidobbs does voice overs.

Bambi of Finland · Post by **Bambi of Finland** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 7:24 pm

I think we have all figured out the truth about you and honestly its okay with us. I just have two questions. How long was your transition? and Who supplies your Hormones?

Mister Jellyfish Mister · Post by **Mister Jellyfish Mister** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 7:35 am

"Ah, you norsks like to put poor Zsu Zsu in a box-- but I am already trapped in a gilded cage of boredom! Let me put my pretty foot out under ze door for you. Give me a pedicure while I think of new insults for you. Never mind. Listen to my poem:

ZTUPID HEEPIE
YOUR HANDS ARE TOO DIRTY
TO GIVE ME PEDICURE

Fuck you.

You love me.

-Zsu Zsu."

Bambi of Finland · Post by **Bambi of Finland** » Thu Sep 13, 2007 10:16 am

The Janis Ian Song "At 17" Seems to filter thru my head when I read your words. What were you like at 17? Seems like yesterday,right? Though it must be an eternity.
Love Bambi
PS I am not a Heepie.

Mister Jellyfish Mister · Post by **Mister Jellyfish Mister** » Fri Sep 14, 2007 7:23 am

In a wistful dream sequence, Zsu Zsu recounts her life in Paris at age 17:

It was springtime, and all of the flowers were in bloom, I was skipping down the Reu des la Clair, and catching the morning dew in my pretty fingers. It glistened in the morning sun and reminded me to hasten my pace so I would be at hospital the moment they opened their doors.

My lover had given me a very large gift the night before, and I knew that only a medical professional would be qualified to remove the fresh baguette from my ass.

Ah, my precious memories of Paris.

Fuck you.

You love me,

-Zsu Zsu.

EB · Post by EB » Fri Sep 14, 2007 9:27 am

Zsu Zsu,

Help! Someone keeps leaving the camp cooler unlatched! These ice runs are killing me!

(Signed)
Warmed Over

Post by **AntiM** » Fri Sep 14, 2007 9:44 am

I must be geezering, I can't read the pale violet on khaki. Alas, my lost youth. No baguettes, however. Not even a stick of butter.

Paris? Frigid bitch of a city in the winter. I thawed my feet in the bidet and had to learn how to ask for feminine needs in French. Ah, to become a woman in the piercing frozen grasp of December. We abandoned the icy avenues for Nice, where I drank my first champagne at my 14th birthday banquet. Seven courses!

Paris can kiss my ass, except for the museums.

Mister Jellyfish Mister · Post by **Mister Jellyfish Mister** » Sat Sep 15, 2007 7:54 am

Zsu Zsu my love, it is your turn to make the camp ice run.

"Fuck you. I would rather die in your ztupeed desert"

Please come out Zsu Zsu! It's Burning Man! You are missing it all!

"Ze only thing I am missing is ice, and my tank of French air is getting low. Bring them both, then leave me alone."

But Zsu Zsu...

"Nobody understands how hard this is. Can't you see I am in distress? Make sure ze ice is also from France."

Bambi of Finland · Post by **Bambi of Finland** » Sat Sep 15, 2007 10:51 am

I think there is no denying you must have a flawless sense of fashion awareness. What would you like to see me wear when caught in a compromising position during the height of a dust storm whilst seeking a lower companion in BRC? ( I know you know what I mean.)
Bambi

Sensei · Post by **Sensei** » Sat Sep 15, 2007 11:54 am

Bambi of Finland wrote:I think there is no denying you must have a flawless sense of fashion awareness. What would you like to see me wear when caught in a compromising position during the height of a dust storm whilst seeking a lower companion in BRC? ( I know you know what I mean.)
Bambi

Um, howzabout those chaps? Oh, that's right, you gave them to Blueniteowl, didn't you? I'm still not over that. You're lucky she looks so freakin' hot in them or I'd give you such a hit on the head.

Oh, and start posting on 3playa, Mr. Bambi-of-Finland. You've got more friends over there than you know...

Mister Jellyfish Mister · Post by **Mister Jellyfish Mister** » Sun Sep 16, 2007 6:57 am

Sensei, you have aroused Zsu Zsu's interest... a bit...

Mister Jellyfish Mister · Post by **Mister Jellyfish Mister** » Sun Sep 16, 2007 7:09 am

"I may want to become a lesbian. Is it too much work and bother? Will they bring equipment and batteries? And then there is the tedious up and down and the 'oui oui oui!'. It's all so tiresome, you know? Of course you don't. Nobody understands poor Zsu Zsu.

My pretty lips are pouting yet I allow nobody to see within the confines of this uncomfortable heart-shaped caravan that HE insisted on building for me. Stupid man."

unjonharley · Post by **unjonharley** » Sun Sep 16, 2007 9:01 am

did'nt i see you working the 3:00 street? or was the killbuck in drag again?

Z Spy · Post by **Z Spy** » Sun Sep 16, 2007 7:08 pm

To the French Foriegn Legion I go Monsieur JellyPechez. Do the French serve .......... "Tang" ?

Z Spy
Submission Control Specialist

Major Mallet · Post by **Major Mallet** » Mon Sep 17, 2007 8:32 am

Jelly - How about this treatment for the Zsu Zsu project: we encourage folks having drama problems to go to her trailer near the trash fence (because her camp mates threw her out of the city). There could be a panel of red buttons with typical causes of drama (romantic problems, someone stole something, someone burned something that did not belong to them, playing loud music, etc). The people having the drama would choose a button and the preprogrammed Zsu Zsu would start.

So, let's say they choose the "Romantic Troubles" button. Zsu Zsu's voice would instruct them to go near her window. Mechanical fingers would open up her blinds just enough to let the visitors see a glimpse of Zsu Zsu. Zsu Zsu would then disappear again and instruct the people to briefly describe the drama into a microphone located beneath her window (of course, we will instruct people not to give their names - see below). When people are speaking Zsu Zsu would make agreement sounds "I zee" "tell Zsu Zsu more darzing", etc. After 15 seconds or so, Zsu Zsu would say she has had enough and ask if any one has anything else to add. If the mic records a voice, the program repeats Zsu Zsu's agreement sounds . If no input into the mic, then Zsu Zsu says "Iss zat it?, You call that drama? I'll give you drama. In either event, she goes into the "baguette in Zsu Zsu's ass" comments you mentioned earlier. For bonus points, Zsu Zsu could slide the window open and stick her ass out (complete with the aforementioned inserted loaf of bread) to show just how much Zsu Zsu both loves her man and hates burners.

We could create a different treatment for each of the main causes of drama.

For added fun, you could record the comments left by people and after a few days on the playa edit them into an endlessly repeating loop that other folks can listen to. That could form the basis of the last button â€œMiscellaneous Dramaâ€

Mister Jellyfish Mister · Post by **Mister Jellyfish Mister** » Mon Sep 17, 2007 2:17 pm

Ah, yes! Good ideas all, Major Mallet. How about a token dispensation that says "I took it to Zsu Zsu" on one side and something about drama on the other. Like some sort of absolution.

We are looking into using some of the new advances in voice recognition software that could pick up key words from the participant's rant and cue the responses accordingly. Our biggest challenge: wind in the microphone.

I really like the idea of the installation being way out by the trash fence (where all true drama belongs), but the maintenance and public interaction would be harder to achieve. Envisioning small crowds pleading "Come out Zsu Zsu! We miss you!" Then we have a real coming out party for her after the man burns. You like, Oui?

I would like to infect the language at BRC much as we did with "... In Space!". Examples would be "Don't get all Zsu Zsu on me about this" or "Take it to Zsu Zsu!"

How do you feel about a theme camp called "Surrender" where we all dress in French Foreign Legion uniforms. "I came here to forget.... my love for Zsu Zsu!"

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Mon Sep 17, 2007 7:07 pm

Fort Zinderneuf!

Um, could you rig something for her on Radio Apok?

thisisthatwhichis · Post by **thisisthatwhichis** » Mon Sep 17, 2007 7:24 pm

Mister Jellyfish Mister wrote:Ah, yes! Good ideas all, Major Mallet. How about a token dispensation that says "I took it to Zsu Zsu" on one side and something about drama on the other. Like some sort of absolution.

I really like the idea of the installation being way out by the trash fence (where all true drama belongs), but the maintenance and public interaction would be harder to achieve. Envisioning small crowds pleading "Come out Zsu Zsu! We miss you!" Then we have a real coming out party for her after the man burns. You like, Oui?

How do you feel about a theme camp called "Surrender" where we all dress in French Foreign Legion uniforms. "I came here to forget.... my love for Zsu Zsu!"

Yes, Yes, all good..... Have you thought about an "empty chair" Zsu-Zsu installation out by the trash fence, separate from the other ideas??....... For those in serious drama??

unjonharley · Post by **unjonharley** » Mon Sep 17, 2007 7:45 pm

the ?? is, is zsu zsu a drama queen her/himself..

Mister Jellyfish Mister · Post by **Mister Jellyfish Mister** » Mon Sep 17, 2007 8:25 pm

thisisthatwhichis wrote:
Mister Jellyfish Mister wrote:Ah, yes! Good ideas all, Major Mallet. How about a token dispensation that says "I took it to Zsu Zsu" on one side and something about drama on the other. Like some sort of absolution.

I really like the idea of the installation being way out by the trash fence (where all true drama belongs), but the maintenance and public interaction would be harder to achieve. Envisioning small crowds pleading "Come out Zsu Zsu! We miss you!" Then we have a real coming out party for her after the man burns. You like, Oui?

How do you feel about a theme camp called "Surrender" where we all dress in French Foreign Legion uniforms. "I came here to forget.... my love for Zsu Zsu!"

Yes, Yes, all good..... Have you thought about an "empty chair" Zsu-Zsu installation out by the trash fence, separate from the other ideas??....... For those in serious drama??

Wow! Like a Zsu Zsu satellite installation! I like the way you scheme as always, Titwi! Can we convert the electric chair?

Mister Jellyfish Mister · Post by **Mister Jellyfish Mister** » Mon Sep 17, 2007 9:21 pm

Zsu Zsu! Come out and be a part of our theme camp! We are... IN SPACE!

Mister Jellyfish Mister · Post by **Mister Jellyfish Mister** » Mon Sep 17, 2007 9:24 pm

"Mm... I do not like 'spass'

Fuck you

You love me

-Zsu Zsu"

Z Spy · Post by **Z Spy** » Mon Sep 17, 2007 10:27 pm

Yes, Yes, all good..... Have you thought about an "empty chair" Zsu-Zsu installation out by the trash fence, separate from the other ideas??....... For those in serious drama??
_________________
TITWI

So people will be curious of the meaning of this "empty chair". How 'bout when Zsu Zsu is over-the-edge with her "bitchy self", we the Foriegn Legion of the Surrender Camp, "surrender" her to the "empty chair" for a deserved "time-out", preferably in a middle of a dust storm.

We celebrate by sharing a glass of bubbly Tang, (I obviously didn't get enough at the 2007 Burn

) and a playa-caked truffle and wave our surrender flag, but only for a moment as we will once again be manipulated by Zsu Zsu's quick wit and sexual promises and will return her to drama saturated box...................

ZSpy
aka ZEspion

Take It To Zsu Zsu

Take It To Zsu Zsu

Zsu Zsu's Ass

Zsu Zsu is.......

My Ferret "Filth"

Zsu Zsu is "le couenne", Zsu Zsu is "le couen

Zsu Zsu's Ice Run

DANS FRANCAIS

The Empty Chair