Favorite Description of Burning Man ?

[neccessity]

Lesson learned at the airport this year:

If you say anything along the lines of "Camping Trip", the FAA will inspect your bag immediately - looking for guns.

If you say "Art Festival", the FAA will inspect your bag immediately - looking for drugs.

Pack wisely, because ANY description of Burning Man is going to mean repacking of your bags on the government's behalf. This was my third year and I've gotten little love notes in my suitcase declaring inspections every time, both out and back!

[M-Files]

I would like to solicit people's favorite one-sentence description of "what it is."

This could be something you find incredibly apt or incredibly inapt, doesn't matter.

e.g. After my wife's first burn she described Burning Man as

Mad Max meets Dr. Seuss in Las Vegas

Curiously close to how I saw it, i.e.:

Mad Max meets Mardis Gras.


m-files

[M-Files]

Lesson learned at the airport this year:

If you say anything along the lines of "Camping Trip", the FAA will inspect your bag immediately -

Hello "Teh mother"

Each year I drive across the US Border to Burning Man. This is how this year's border conversation went:

-------------------------------------------------------------------

US Border Guard: "Where are you headed?"

Me: "Camping in Nevada."

Him (looking over my car): "Burning Man?"

Me: "Yes sir, Burning Man."

Synopsis: BM is no longer a secret, underground festival. Everybody and their uncle at Homeland Security knows all about it.


m-files

[skeetsh00ter]

"camping trip" at the atlanta airport promptly got all of our bags searched. not so much fun especially when we worked so hard to get everything to fit.

[Clar-i-ty]

A place where radical expression is at first gleefully contagious, but then just another norm.

"Oh my God!" "I wore those same purple fur pants last night!"

[mdmf007]

Lesson learned at the airport this year:

If you say anything along the lines of "Camping Trip", the FAA will inspect your bag immediately -

Hello "Teh mother"

Each year I drive across the US Border to Burning Man. This is how this year's border conversation went:

-------------------------------------------------------------------

US Border Guard: "Where are you headed?"

Me: "Camping in Nevada."

Him (looking over my car): "Burning Man?"

Me: "Yes sir, Burning Man."

Synopsis: BM is no longer a secret, underground festival. Everybody and their uncle at Homeland Security knows all about it.


m-files

BM is deinately mainstream, Leno cites it, its on CNN, USNews, MSNBC, every newspaper,

Its out there - My guess 4 years at most until it is sold to another entity

How about "Ford Lincoln Mercry present Burnigman 2008. Featuring Nelly, 50 cent, dave mathews, fireworks extravaganza, "

later

[Orchid]

Another "not a secret anymore" story here.
Background: My partner and I live with my 81-year-old grandpa on a farm in Oregon.

before Burning Man:

Us: Bye Grandpa, see you in about a week, we're going camping.
Gpa: Where are you camping?
Us: Nevada. We'll be off the grid. If you need anything, call Mom.

*time passes, we return home, tired and dusty*

Gpa: How was Burning Man?



I swear I am not making this up.

[Ugly Dougly]

Synopsis: BM is no longer a secret, underground festival. Everybody and their uncle at Homeland Security knows all about it.


m-files

I am constantly baffled by the wisdom and insight of our government overseers.

A yearly event, on the same day every year, for decades, attended by thousands of people... you'd think it would go under the radar. Those inspectors probably see hundreds of burners and they scratch their little braincells together and figure it out, don't they?

[neccessity]

How about "Ford Lincoln Mercry present Burnigman 2008. Featuring Nelly, 50 cent, dave mathews, fireworks extravaganza, "

later

I just threw up in my mouth a little....

[neccessity]

and just because I never responded to the original topic:

My quote after the first year was "It was ten times harder than I thought it would be, and a hundred times more worth it."

[Teo del Fuego]

"camping trip" probably triggers in airport security fears of some nit-wit packing sterno or bottled propane.

Last night, during the Denver Cruiser ride, I met a guy, late thirties, who had never heard of Burning Man. Amazed I was, particularly as he was riding with a bunch of folks most of whom were dressed up like animals and many of whom were riding mutant bikes. So, I invited him over to the BM website. I cautioned him about ePlaya, however.

[Eve Almitra]

It would be hard to sum up Burning Man in one description, but since I give myself permission to sum it up twice, read on, dear friend.

Using my own words, Burning Man is like "Boot-camp for Future Operation: Heal Desert-Wounds". I delight in imagining the possibilities of a future World War III completely derailed with a simple twist of humor. The 2008 theme asks: What can America do for the world now (except allow its dictator to police the world) ? I prophesy/(should I command...?) Citizens of Black Rock City and its Extended Sympathetic-Network will(/to) one day descend upon the troubled Middle East, like so:

An army of avatars hang-glides in, in the fashion of Unidentified Flying Objectional-Acrobats... and it almost goes without saying, all warriors-of-mirth are arrayed in FULL COSTUME.

Which means... you dressed as your Super-Hero Self.

Do you still have your Superman, your Batman/Spiderman/Incredible Hulk sheets? Again, universally-obvious as great-cape-material.

------------------

(keep reading...
2nd description/"scenario" is much, much more "poetic"

[due to the fact that I am also giving myself permission, albeit this time with some mis-givings, to reprint Muarice Kilwein Guevara's epic prose poem, in all its

EXQUISITE GLORY

])
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


[i]from[/i] Autobiography of So-and-so
[i]by[/i] Maurice Kilwein Guevara
ISBN 0-932826-16-4


[u] [b]Augury of My [/u]Death[/b]

I ran down the street a dozen years ago half-drunk with a tall woman from Belfast I had met in a bar and we went into her apartment to get out of the rain and snort a few lines of good speed. She suggested I would find on her a rather unusual tattoo and told me about headaches she had suffered for weeks until it was discovered the old stove in the corner had leaked gas in minute quantities, and then she played a scratched recording of [i]La Boheme [/i]after I said I was a poet and she'd confided she'd been a rope maker in Ireland before she came to this country to study the restoration of medieval texts. As we started to kiss each other's bodies like mosquitoes landing on the arms of a saint, lightning killed the lights and we took each other's clothes off on the floor and made love in the small hours on our knees and in the missionary style and at the very edge of the rough couch, until finally all we wanted to do was talk a little about chocolate and fall asleep.
In the bright morning I woke on the couch and she was lying on her belly asleep on the floor beneath me. Between her shoulder blades and running along her spine was the tattoo of an ornate I.
A vine of red and gold leaves held tiny green birds.
Earth-colored griffins stood guard in each corner.
Through a bird's eye in the center of her back I saw a dozen masked figures crowding around an open tumulus in which I was lying naked with my lips parted and ancient sunlight in my eyes.




-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[i]post script[/i]

...to mark the occasion of this first post, in the first year of my BM-existence, I need to express a deep gratitude for those strangers who metaphorically took me in, and literally staved off my sudden bouts of dehydration.

Yes, I brought water. LOTS. If only I had known other Virgins were running around asking for water! I logged 10/mpg gas-wise, just to bring extra water in case anyone needed it...

As Fortune would have it, the angels I parked next to thought to bring electrolytes, and never gave a second thought to sharing. Thank you, Kimmie.




*Namaste*

[playafucker]

people are poor of soul


we are weak



excitement of electrolytes is a sign from a sick culture


THEY SHOULD ALWAYS BE FREE

WE SHOULD ALWAYS BE GIFTING

[Tryptonite]

Whenever someone asks I always tell them Burning Man is like Halloween, Christmas and your first blowjob all rolled into one

[Karma]

"Whenever someone asks I always tell them Burning Man is like Halloween, Christmas and your first blowjob all rolled into one"

Perfect !! lol

[Eve Almitra]

and the Fourth of July!

I also found myself behaving a bit as if it was Easter. Case in point. I have no criminal record as my sister in the klepto in the family, not me. And as "victim" (*sob* *sob*) of all her little petty thefts (Most frustrating time? It was President's Club meeting day in high school, so that meant I need to wear my "Sign Language Club" sweatshirt, since I was prez... and let me officially, publicly accuse Mr. Header (or 2 e's not an "a") for making fun of me in Napolean Dynamite. [Why is my little bro., "spook koops" named Preston, or "Presto-Cooko" as I so adorably nicknamed him? Because my ancestors are from your/our 'hood. That means genetic- ancestral-familiarity, and I guess for that reason, Mr. H felt comfortable making fun of the way Mormons really do learn sign language to songs and "perform" it. I am going to make sure there is a stage were this can happen!!! MORMONS OF THE WORLD.... build the Salt Lake Tabernacle (note: I did NOT say Temple) in the desert! And bring it in pieces in your handcarts and wagons (rich bastards... the RV of the day ; )

long paragraph
breathe...



So, now that I have established myself as a raving Luna-tic, but one with a clear criminal record, let me explain my "Easter" experience.

Some girl came up to me and was like "Hey! What are you going through my purse for!"

I was like, "Oh, sorry! I was totally hallucinating and I thought this was an Easter Basket and that it was filled with travel-size samples of everything we needed to survive! And that in the Future, everyone is super-efficient, and so we use smaller amounts of things. I am sooo, sooo sorry."


And because this was happening on the playa, in the depths of Black Rock City, during the Burning-Man Monsoons, she

listened to me,
realized I was being honest,
and she said something like Hey, thats OK.




But original description? Halloween, Christmas, First Blow-job...

Excellent.

But I'm a greedy whore and I LOVE HOLIDAYS so I could go on and on and on and on....






hey Look! I did!


If only the Salt Lake Mormons would take the 24th of July Celebration/Parade to Burning Man. And if you are one, and have lived or visited the Valley during this holiday, you will be clucking in agreement and chuckling at the absurdity that this would be. It would be like oil meets water.


Wait.. now I am in the wrong topic.
I'll hop on over to Suggestions for 2008 and create a thread for all the Jack-Mo's of my generation.

We are children of GOD! We are the Army of Helaman!!

[Eve Almitra]

I can't QUIT BURNING!

oh, Yes, I can. If I wanted to ; )

Its just that I couldn't NOT tell you this next thing, which didn't occur to me to remember until further mental-lubrication:

First Blow Job?

Edit that into the Valentine's Day that never was.




Last Sunday, I tried tracking down my old AP History teacher, who should someday be written in as presiding head of the New Greek Senate-of-wise, educated, compassionate, old-men and women ..ok, plus some young wise start-ups with old-souls, ....

He took his daughter to Unitarian church, so that's where I headed. But of course, after living naked, one forgets how time-consuming the entrapments of civilized hygiene and grooming can be! and How!

But, perfect timing in that the service was over, the Unitarians were self-medicating on coffee and edibles, my teacher hadn't gone today, and instead, a gracious old-man with corn-silky white hair and gentle doe-brown eyes invited me to see his slide show of Nairobi.

Fantastic. Every picture was wonderful, and a handful beyond brilliant.
What a wonderful way to spend the Equinox part of the day. Or at least a an hour (a precious few moments).

Valentines Day and Burning Man and the slide-show man?
I feel strange or shy to say this on-line, but when we met, as we spoke, there was this overwhelming feeling of Love. Not like I want to run off with this man and be a home-wrecker, or even go on one "date"...

This is hard to convey, but I felt this way with so many of the people I met at BM. Love which is as tangible as a wave of warmth rushing through you, and as visible as the color white becoming so bright it glows in the air...

Really, all I hope is that any curmudgeons with an ax to grind with BM know at least under what beautiful-delusions the rest of us, the pronoiacs are.

Love!

[barnz]

My Favorite of your Favorite Descriptions of Burning Man, compiled.

(and unattributed...)

• Mad Max meets Dr. Seuss in Las Vegas.
  -or-
  The Post-Apocolyptic Survivalist Art Festival.
  -or-
  Mad Peter Max.
  -or-
  The Freak Olympics.
  -or-
  Like living in a cartoon for a week.
  -or-
  The Cockshirt Convention.
  -or-
  The Modern Tribal-Daliesque-Neoapocalypic-Flaming-Dust Storm-Sausage Factory-Techno Carnival-on-L.S.D.; in space.
  -or-
  Halloween, Christmas and Your First Blowjob all Rolled Into One.

[cornelius]

*smiles and gives BARNz a 'thumbs up'*

[spidermonkey]

its alot MORE than just a camping trip in the desert.


i really like "adults playing city"

[Ugly Dougly]

Like Hallowe'en in the Castro, it's the National Holiday in the Weird Capitol of the World.

[BAS]

A magnificent flower on the manure pile!



B. (in an odd mood)

[nexxtro9]

I've always thought of it as...

The Merry Pranksters find unlimited funds and invite you to help them throw a huge party

[Plastic G'zus]

After my first burn, I described it to my freinds as "Vegas meets Bartertown."
A great description I heard on-playa was "It's like the soft-porn circus of the apocalypse!"

[mdmf007]

organized chaos with a touch of randomness

[yellowdog]

The most succinct description I have come up with is: Whatever question you can ask me about Burning Man, the answer is 'yes'.
Typically, people will look a little puzzled as their thought processes become overwhelmed with possibilities, and then they laugh. Pretty much a mini-Burning Man experience right there!

[debomaki]

The only opportunity you'll ever get to fall down Lewis Carroll's rabbit hole - but the hole is actually a large expanse of flat Earth.

[Simon of the Playa]

"burning man, it's such a nice, DRY heat..."


"Burning Man, it's Reno on REALLY GOOD X"


"the world's most dangerous gestalt therapy session"


"it's what disneyland cross-dresses as"

[Ugly Dougly]

It was hotter than the hinges of Hell. The hinges of Hell were down the road, we used to go there to cool off."
-Jean Shepherd

[myredcarpet]

"No explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant."

"We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, laughers, screamers..."

"There was madness in any direction, at any hour. You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning."

"We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. Our energy would simply prevail."

Some favorites from Fear and Loathing