A question for the girls.....

[aimeefissure]

We are wanting to experience the poly camps in a *mostly* observing way.

Polyamory in general cannot be truely experienced through observation. Voyeurism on the other hand...

Remember how you talked about a kiss being for you, not a show for people? Just come into situations with that same respect in mind for others, and you'll be fine. Glancing can create as much discomfort as leering.

Do you have any suggestions to thwart unwanted attention from overly eager poly people?

Just Say...uhh, you've probably heard that one. People at Burning Man are quite responsive to polite requests. I don't think any thwarting is necessary. Just be clear about your intentions and speak up.

It may turn out that the toughest dynamic will be between the two of you, not with strangers. One thing that will help is for you and your partner to communicate about your poly intentions and boundaries BEFORE you get to the playa. If it turns out once the two of you are there that you want to only play together, and she thinks a romp in the desert with the hottie in pigtails would be fun, you two could be in for a rough Burn.
Communicate, communicate, and then communicate.

[epic]

Mardi Gras and New Orleans are fun, and the costumes on Fat Tuesday are great, and some of the parades are good, but I was FAR more paranoid there (I'm male, 6 ft and can take care of myself) then I was at BM 02 and 03.
Mardi Gras is drunken, money oriented and potentially violent, the crowds are crushing (mainly on Bourbon st) and theft, assualt and robbery are big problems because of all the drunk tourists with fat wallets. Also the age range is much younger at least in the French Quarter. Young drunk guys are way more common at MG then BM. Girls don't flash for beads at BM, they just are naked with the crowd. It's not the same.
There is no sense of community at MG. Plus New Orleans has a high crime rate to begin with and a lot of poverty. Drunk tourists with money are a target.
Burning Man has an older crowd, a less drunk crowd, no money in wallets being carried around, FAR less crime, and no poverty. Also no beads, far less video cams stuck in your face, and way less people per square foot. There is no comparison, they are 180 degrees different, and BM is way more fun. I wouldn't advise passing out alone, drunk, tripping and high far from any lights at 4 AM but that's also cause it's friggin cold! In my opinion women have nothing to worry about. It's about as safe as any large public event. I haven't seen unwanted gropping, fondling, or whatever. A lot of the participants are couples or females too. Take a self defense class if it really concerns you.

[BlueBirdPoof]

Dr. Pyro--
I am sorry if I've ever hurt your feelings by refering to "frat boys." I will refrain from using that term here in the future.

[Dr. Pyro]

Apology, though not necessary, accepted. Didn't hurt my feelings per se, more like an outdated steriotype (almost an anachronism) that is best left to die. But I'll meet you half way: If I see a bunch of yahoos wearing Lambda Chi or Sig Ep wife-beaters acting like assholes and pestering our fellow citizens of Black Rock City, I'll be the first one on your side to ride their collective asses out on a rail.

The Doc

[Maurice Panchenko]

There are safety measures at B-man as well, The Black Rock Rangers, Washoe County Sheriffs, Nevada State Police, Nevada Drug Enforcement Agency, Bureau of Land Management Cops? (whatever they are), some say FBI but I've never seen one. I'm a Ranger, and we take on all problems in a serious and thoughtful manner and have legal issues dealt with by the pros(Cops) Spacecowboy, out.

[Maurice Panchenko]

Plus Burningman is an experience that has no equal. Your still safer at Burningman than walking down your own street; wherever that may be.

Spacecowboy

[Isotopia]

Your still safer at Burningman than walking down your own street; wherever that may be.

Well, assuming you're walking down your street and the whole fucking neighborhood's on fire and the naked neighbors are pushing flame belching, turbo powered lawnmowers at each other with the blade guards removed and, and...

oh, never mind...

[III]

>>naked neighbors are pushing flame belching, turbo powered lawnmowers at each other with the blade guards removed

heh. i can see trying that at burning man. i'd have a "ranger" threatening to throw me out of the event in a new york minute. then i'd have to tell him that he was out of line, and would he please get on the radio to khaki to bring in someone capable of dealing with the situation, at which point someone would roll up in a nice air conditioned suv and reasonably find out what it would take to get the blade guard reinstalled, and find a place for me to push the lil toy about where there was no chance of a drug addled raver running over and throwing themselves into the flames. i'm pretty sure i'd be allowed to stay naked, though...

[Dragontear]

I'm glad my post made you smiled and helped you Djade. I did not think my post would hit you like that. It makes me happy that it did though.Your Welcome! I hope you have a great first burn! Take care!

[Beeze]

I've only been twice, 2002-2003 and what I noticed slightly in my first, and then very palpably in my second burn is that the YAHOOS (aka frats) tend to come out later in the week, late Wed/Thurs... toward the end of the week there is an increase in the drunken fools who spend the day throwing a football or frisbee in the street or running around like it's more like the Mardi Gras-ish thing you spoke of, then get drunker and hunt for tits and things to burn (like the guy at my first burn behind me that kept yelling "WOO HOO" and planned to run up to the fire as soon as he could and toss a propane cannister in...)

My advice? Go for the whole week, you'll feel the community build around you, you'll be able to build relationships and then when the YAHOO population slightly increases you'll have a better radar for burners vs. yahoos. Also, the community is the best part, and while I'm not poly, I can't help but think that relationship building (of all kinds, trust, friendship, neighbors) can only enhance the experience. Besides, there is a LOT going on at BM that isn't printed in any guide or calendar. Get to know people, find like-minded people (volunteering is a GREAT way to do this) and you might get invited somewhere that's with new friends that share your interests that will just be safer...

Sunday night is also usually very nice -- stay for the 2nd burn, it's really beautiful and different, and most of the YAHOOs have left...

Like someone else said too, don't assume that all possible tension/problems will come from outside... seriously pay attention to the person who said communicate communicate and then communicate. Discuss your boundaries with your g.f. before you leave and agree to check them again and again while you are there. On the BM official site, in the survival guide, there are some wise words about BM for couples...

Hope you have a great experience!

[bloodroses917]

ok so heres the scoop from a lesbian who has been to the burn before.... i went as a single chick- so i ended up kissing lots of fun cutie girls.... had my time- ya know- it was a blast. 99% of the men reacted like normal men do when they see two women kiss- i mean lets be honest-- seeing two cute women kiss ANYWHERE- not just BM is pretty hot. we like it as lesbians, right? imagine being a man and seeing it- so be prepared for cheering- if you decide to make out late at night when everyone is trashed. lol as far as walking around holding hands- no one will even notice. theres way too many more exciting things to look at than two girls in love. you will most likely get hit on more at night when people start to party more- but just as someone else said...it would be more likely to happen because youre hot- not because youre a lesbian. i had only ONE bad experience when i was kissing a girl standing in a random spot one night- we noticed a bunch of the ignorant guys you spoke of videotaping us- which we cant say we didndt expect so we just walked away and went somewhere else. one guy followed us and we didnt know. i felt something touching my ankle and looked down to see him lying on the ground looking up the girls skirt. now dont get all freaked out- it was only ONCE and you can run into those idiots anywhere in the world. just know how to handle yourself. i kicked him in the face and we walked away and went to a private area. now some may say i over reacted- lol but i mean if we were a guy and a girl making out he wouldnt have done it- so he dealt with his deserved consequences! SO although this response is long and full of RANDOM tangents LMAO trust me- you have NOTHING to worry about at burning man! oh and email me- we can talk more about that possibility of experimenting with POLY activities- LOL j/k---- kimberly!

[123Rachel]

My experiences (as a woman) have been good.

I have been aproached for kisses/massage/etc... but every time it was in a respectful way. and even while the kissing/massage/etc was going on there was the interplay of "is this ok?" "does this feel good?" and I made sure I was direct with my answers.
I've only gotten "show me your tits" once...and I think it was in a half joking way (although I don't think he would have turned away if I had!)
Yes to all that was said before: keep your wits about you, communicate clearly, the yahoos tend to be more obvious as the week wears on, but if you show up earlier then you'll have the experience to tell the difference, and have fun!
This will be my first year to go as a couple...so I have no advise there, except what I've heard and seen.
-r