A Christmas Story...

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Fri Nov 30, 2007 7:40 am

Ok....here goes....

Normally, i post silly stuff, sometimes a little too tongue in cheek, and i was sitting here when it hit me, again, like the pneumatic spanking machine....hard and fast.

why do i keep coming back?

In 2004, i tried to ride my motorcycle across country (again) and failed miserably, abandoning my bike (son of son of satan) in ohio.

i hitched to Burns, Oregon, and proceeded to wait for two lonely days until i finally got a ride from some portland burners on the sunday b4 the gate opened.

i had been awake for a while, being utterly terrified of the rattle snakes that were in the scrub by the sides of the road, so when i finally landed, i set up my tent, and fell asleep.

the next day, i found myself surrounded by children...i had accidently plunked down in the middle of KidsVille...

ok, i thought, no biggie, i have 4 kids, i'll just keep a lid on my filthy mouth, and smoke my herbal prescription elsewhere...

that morning, i met some of the members of a NYC crew (who i later helped drive home with on a really cool biodiesal bus, but thats another story) and in particular, i met a 6 year old girl named lila.

lila had come all the way from new zealand with her father. She was tiny, and had pigtails, and these really large glasses that were like magnifying lenses, and made her eyes all googly....i remember that, i got glasses when i was very young, and i remember looking in the mirror, wondering why my eyes were so big...

she explained to me that her and her father had come to burning man to say goodbye to her mother, who had died in a car crash 6 months previous..

she then showed me a collection of pictures and drawings and notes she had written to her mom, and told me she was going to send them to heaven by attaching them to the temple, so her mom could see them.

at the moment, it did'nt really affect me, i was still under the influence of the default world, and although i am terribly sentimental, i never show it, thats the way i was brought up.

i had a pretty good week, but with some disapointment because of a relationship that had gone south, and the people involved were there on the playa, reminding me of what i had lost...

the night of the temple burn, i was alone, sitting there watching, when the temple just exploded into flames, producing what appeared to be floating pieces of fire, raining down all around me, only to burn out before they touched the ground.

it was then i thought of lila, and her wonderful portfolio of her life, that was now burning, and flying around me in a swirling mass of heavenly brimstone.

and i knew that her mother was reading her letters right then.

i started crying....like i had'nt cried in many years, i kept thinking about this little girl, and her terrible loss, and yet she played and laughed and continued on with her life. and in that instant i realized what a shit i can be, and how my misanthropic tendancies had been undermining my relationships. Who am i to bitch about anything?.....

lila taught me how to be human again.....not only that, the "burning man glow" carried with me for many months...i actually started to enjoy community, and socializing and life in general.

i didnt start to get the default world heebeegeebees until way into june or july...

so there it is, my reason why i come back every year....because it's the only thing that gives me my soul back, it's the only thing that lets me be a person again, and not some tv fed automaton, worrying about his credit card bills.

i come back to not hate myself and others.

and i come back each year, hoping to find lila, so i can thank her for being her.

merry christmas E-Playa, my gift to you this year is a brief moment of sincerity.

mereth · Post by **mereth** » Fri Nov 30, 2007 12:30 pm

The very f'in definition of priceless... *snif*

Thank you Simon.

Post by **mdmf007** » Fri Nov 30, 2007 6:39 pm

Great story Simon -

Even though she was young I hope that little girl found some solice at the summers burn.

Loved the story about the bike ride as well. My cross country trips never seem to go as planned either. - Black Hills 96, came out of hotel in SD to find my bike where I left it without the motor. I was blown away to say the least.

thanks again for the story.

LeChatNoir · Post by **LeChatNoir** » Fri Nov 30, 2007 9:21 pm

That's a really good story, Simon.

You've helped a few others find their soul again by sharing it, I'd bet.

Twenty-some-odd days and the dark time of the year will begin to wane, but the cold will hang on for a a good while longer. Stories like this are good to gift around these times.

Thank You.

BitterDan · Post by **BitterDan** » Fri Nov 30, 2007 10:02 pm

Man what a pussy!

just kidding. Great story Simon, i enjoyed it much.

oneeyeddick · Post by **oneeyeddick** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 10:48 am

Will somebody pass me a kleenex ?
(I guess I only need 1/2 of one, having only one eye)
Good read Simon-thanx

ALICEtheGOON · Post by **ALICEtheGOON** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 8:11 pm

I liked that story Simon.
Its too bad it takes half our lives to figure ourselves out... make the proper changes , and then enjoy the ride like never before.

life goes by in a flash.
party hard
LOVE hard...and..

dont forget to smell the lillies along the way.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Mon Dec 03, 2007 7:26 am

thanks.

you know what's just as corny, but true, the final scene in miracle on 34th street* when they find Kringle's cane in the corner...kills me every time....

and i still believe in Santa and his worldwide ability to bring Joy into those lives that need it.....as well as kick clown ass every day.

*(the original with Natalie Wood**, not the remake with Sebastian Cabot)

** (the only wood that does'nt float)...

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 7:47 am

here's another little gifty for y'all....

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1175030137

BitterDan · Post by **BitterDan** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 11:41 am

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

wedeliver · Post by **wedeliver** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 11:52 am

Simon you are an artist. Your words moved me to tears. You expressed what I feel, thank you so much.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Thu Dec 06, 2007 3:18 pm

Santa Claus...

it's all about the Kringle....

another present for all of you nyc good boys and girls...

http://santacon.com/nyc/

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Thu Dec 06, 2007 3:56 pm

What? No Jean Shepherd fans?

Crappypants · Post by **Crappypants** » Thu Dec 06, 2007 4:46 pm

That is an amazing story Simon, hope you have a very merry christmas mate.

Barbie · Post by **Barbie** » Thu Dec 06, 2007 7:58 pm

Ahhhh Simon Thank you- Your posts always make me think- This one made me cry... And I soooo Agree with your reason you come back every year...The Playa and the people BURNERS make me a better person and give me hope for the general public..Thank you everyone for being THERE LOVE AND KISSES ALL AROUND

Post by **mdmf007** » Thu Dec 06, 2007 8:02 pm

speaking of the temple burn - I do not recall any of the other times I have been, that a wave started? correct me if im wrong

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 6:05 am

i'm not usually a wave kinda guy, but that was actually really fun in a silly string kind of way....it was so weird to hear the sound wave approaching and then backing away like a huge human doppler donut.

mmmmmm......doppler donuts....i gotta go, rachel ray and her slutty 1980's clothing are calling me to get my fix...mmmmmm, slutty....

as you all well know, america runs on donuts and coffee.

and sluts....

mereth · Post by **mereth** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 9:42 am

Donuts and Sluts camp instead of Eggs and Porn?

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 9:48 am

from the santacon handbook and carol guide...

SUCK MY BALLS
(To tune of â€œDeck The Hallsâ€

mereth · Post by **mereth** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 9:56 am

Top 10 Things That Sound Dirty at Xmas

1.Did you get any under the tree?
2. I think your balls are hanging too low.
3. Check out Rudolph's honker!
4. Santa's sack is really bulging.
5. Lift up the skirt so I can get a whiff.
6. Did you get a piece of the fruitcake?
7. I love licking the end till it's really sharp and pointy.
8. From here you can't tell if they're artificial or real.
9. Can I interest you in some dark meat?
10. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 10:33 am

Jolly Good!

pinemom · Post by **pinemom** » Fri Dec 07, 2007 10:42 am

Simon....thank you for sharing.

I cried when I first saw BRC for the first time, coming in. It was the most excited Ive ever been(topping first disney trip by a trillion).
.... not to mention just turning 40 for my first time out.

See I guess I thought kinda highly of myself...I for years thought I was the only costume crazed,majorally artistic/austic, doing art for no other reason then to look at it upon finish, then dismantle it.(didnt play with fire yet...YET)Overly huggy,emotionally tied, overly loving, and majorally forgiving person in the whole wide world!
Boy did I ever get a reality check...weeeeee everyone I met my first year was like me!
a total fucking artistically crazy person!(who cant spell)
I cried alot till we found camp....I smiled every waking moment.
I cried when we had to leave.

This yr. I again cried on the way in and on the way out!
and again...I got to go back and feel the love.

But the best gift of all I received the first year, friends I call family that I talk to almost everyday, some I get to see at least once a week.
But most of all...I was gifted my soulmate husband.As well as my female soulmate!

mojo · Post by **mojo** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 10:47 am

I'm convinced that the world is full of those little angels like Lila. I think some are like her and another might be spending a lifetime disguised as a drunk on a streetcorner, there just to teach us compassion and generosity.

Simon - thanks for the reminder. Keep your eyes open for the everyday miracles too - once you start paying attention, you'll see that life is full of them. They help get us through the July heebeejeebies.

Finnegan · Post by **Finnegan** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 7:31 pm

Thanks Simon. Not a dry eye in the house. The Temple has done that to me on a number of occasions, and I count it as one of the top one reasons for going out there year after year.

Post by **mdmf007** » Mon Dec 10, 2007 10:47 pm

The temple rules - id like to see a frsh artists perspective though

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Tue Dec 11, 2007 9:41 am

thank you to all who have commented...

i have one favor to ask, if you see me on the playa, do NOT expose to others that i wear the mask of Carmudgeonness most of the time..

it's no fun if they know already...

and food IS for pussies...

Sensei · Post by **Sensei** » Tue Dec 11, 2007 8:31 pm

Simony Claus of the Playa wrote: and food IS for pussies...

... and sometimes it's the other way around.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Wed Dec 12, 2007 7:59 am

ah, sensei, i never charge interest.....and i definately cant buy my way into heaven at this point, but i do think that a good solid HO HO HO HO HO HO HO is needed after that very Tasty Elf pudding you served up there.....

the proof is in the pudding, i assume...

merry christmas, and may your holidays be as tittlating (sp) as that post...

dawntreader of the playa · Post by **dawntreader of the playa** » Wed Dec 12, 2007 8:40 am

[b]Simon of the Playa,

Beautiful story!

My experiences at the Temple are my returning factor for 08.

Peace and light for the Winter Solstice~

dawntreader[/b]

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Thu Dec 18, 2008 9:31 am

BUMP!

it's that time again. If you are anything at all similar to me, you are dead broke, overworked, stressed, and cold to the bone due to heating prices and your inherent cheapness.

As a representative of All of the Above, i would just like to say "Thank You" to whomever it was that left a Pack of Marlboros on my doorstep the other day, it arrived at the absolute exact time that it should have, just when i needed it.

It has been a tough year financially and otherwise, and it seems to be getting worse, as Art and Discretionary spending on Furniture and Renovation (wow, on a complete tangent....a vacation in Reno...Reno-Vation....TM! dibs!) has decreased dramatically, and i am forced to do the "everybody gets hand made gifts" tradition that i have been part of since i changed my lifestyle many moons ago.

Im making leather wrestler masks for everyone...i dont know why, but a friend suggested it and it stuck.

now i know, handmade gifts ARE better than store bought, usually, and that it's not really the gift, it's the thought, but for once, and it's been a long time since i had the "power" of the almighty Plastic, the ability to shop without care, to give that shiny sparkle and tech that seems to be the way into children's hearts these days.

i miss the OverIndulgence that i once could provide, and it sounds so shallow to desire to be that person, just one more time, to garner some kind of admiration, albeit temporary, from my children, but it's there nevertheless. I am a victim and sometimes willing follower of our consumer society and have freely fallen into the traps laid out by Hollywood and madison Ave.

Back to Marlboros...

the truly secret santa gives just what is needed, just when it's wanted, to whom it should go to.

it was at that moment,when i really really really wanted a cigarette, and i had no money, and it was freezing outside and in my workshop, and a whole lot of financial shit had just been dumped on me and i just stepped outside to scream at god, as is my habit sometimes when there THEY were.

Red and White, just like santa.

i looked around, nobody was there....i'm pretty good at hearing whenever someone approaches too, so i was a little surprised, both at the Gift, and at the stealth in which it was delivered.

So, i went back in, and Lovingly, joyfully, tamped the pack, and slowly, intently, flipped over the Lucky One, pulled out the first Smoke, and with an almost religious solemnity, I deed indeed, Inhale.

what a difference a moment can make.

It all became "ok" in an almost Thunderclap, as quiet as the Sound of Smoking is, it rang loud and clear.

The Best Gift is Giving. And it doesnt have to cost you much, if at all.

If you want to be a Santa, Then dont expect anything in return, except the occasional cookie left for you along the way by the true believers.

the other day, i found that cookie, and Yes Virginia, There Are Many Santa Clauses (sp?) out there, who do the gig day in, day out...

Merry Christmas E-playa, I hope you all Get what you Want, When you need it.

A Christmas Story...

A Christmas Story...

i saw mommy getting a facial from