Donna Matrix's Bible Trivia Question O' the Day !!!

erri2000 · Post by **erri2000** » Fri Jan 04, 2008 8:18 pm

Is it just me or is it getting all "weird and icky" in here?

oneeyeddick · Post by **oneeyeddick** » Fri Jan 04, 2008 8:23 pm

OK kiddies, it's time to move on, so lets see who answered that last question properly.

The question was :

What punishment does God provide for a man who masturbates to ejaculation?

Correct Answer: B.
(Not only must he wash himself and anything his semen may have touched, but he must leave and not return until night.)
â€œAnd if any manâ€™s seed of copulation to out from him then he shall wash all his flesh in water, and be unclean until the even.
And every garment, and every skin, whereon is the seed of copulation, shall be washed with water, and be unclean until the evenâ€

oneeyeddick · Post by **oneeyeddick** » Fri Jan 04, 2008 8:42 pm

Since the last question was about Men touching thier penises and producing Liquid Sin,

Under what circumstances does the Bible say a woman must have her hands cut off for touching a man's genitals?

A-Under no circumstances. The Bible does not restrict physical contact between heterosexuals in any way.
B-When she is fondling them in an effort to avoid intercourse and possible conception.
C-When she contacts them orally.
D-When she touches them in an effort to protect her husband from an attacker.

erri2000 · Post by **erri2000** » Fri Jan 04, 2008 8:58 pm

I will have to go with B

When she is fondling them in an effort to avoid intercourse and possible conception.

Because women don't make the decisions in the Bible.

The strange thing is that isn't grabbing the mans genitalia the easiest way to control or win an argument with man?

Women "I know you say you don't agree but what if I did this?"
Man "Ahhhhhhh ok."

Doesn't say somewhere like "If the beasts mind wonders freely in the pasture rub his pestle to bring him homeâ€

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Fri Jan 04, 2008 9:16 pm

D
d
d
d
d
d
d
d
d

Tiahaar · Post by **Tiahaar** » Fri Jan 04, 2008 11:58 pm

oneeyeddick wrote: And the winner is.......Tiahaar !!! Congrats !!!!!!

Woohoo, thank you thank you, and that sucker is just lovely. The sucker holder is invited to join pretty boy and I on the couch with the Wii

Box Burner · Post by **Box Burner** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 12:42 am

OK Back home again.

I am with fishy on this one. The answer is D.

BigCock · Post by **BigCock** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 6:03 am

One interpretation is that such contact may cause damage. The wording (in my translation) is not "touches" but "seizes." The covenant is passed on biologically, and hence damaging the genitals damages the covenant.

dana · Post by **dana** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 7:00 am

BitterDan wrote:
(no shit. It actually fell open right there. Praise Jesus!!!)
pure coincidence.

You have to admit that its a pretty funny and rare coincidence - for the name 'Dan' (as opposed to Daniel) to appear in the bible.
Its like finding the name Bob.

Bob did smite the Assinians, and there was much gnashing of teeth...

Maybe my faith is faltering, but I think we got ripped off on the lion question. The scriptures quoted support the idea that god is more roar (threat) than actual bite. Its all future tense - what will happen, if...
I think that crazy piratey-looking nun bitch slapped us for nothing!!

BigCock · Post by **BigCock** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 7:09 am

"lo, twas Robert that did smiteth them."

pinemom · Post by **pinemom** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 7:45 am

Im going to guess

B.

Because the only design of the penis was to conceive children

pinemom · Post by **pinemom** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 7:46 am

non-biblical trivia
did you know that Humans, Dogs, Ducks and Dolphins are the only species that RAPE.

erri2000 · Post by **erri2000** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 7:59 am

pinemom wrote:non-biblical trivia
did you know that Humans, Dogs, Ducks and Dolphins are the only species that RAPE.

So that means in the right situation that there is a chance that you may be gang raped by a duck, a dog, a dolphin and a person?

That is surreal.

the fire elf · Post by **the fire elf** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 8:03 am

ever seen a fly fuck?

pinemom · Post by **pinemom** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 8:03 am

No thats a Pizza, popcorn,chocolate,jalepeno and koolaid dream Erri!!!!

the fire elf · Post by **the fire elf** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 8:04 am

the only design of the penis was to conceive children

chi

pinemom · Post by **pinemom** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 8:06 am

the fire elf wrote:ever seen a fly fuck?

yup...and Ive seen a 3 way with fly's...their not partial.

mayavin · Post by **mayavin** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 8:10 am

then why the trouble of purporting only's, miss information?

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 8:14 am

erri2000 wrote:
pinemom wrote:non-biblical trivia
did you know that Humans, Dogs, Ducks and Dolphins are the only species that RAPE.
So that means in the right situation that there is a chance that you may be gang raped by a duck, a dog, a dolphin and a person? :shock: That is surreal.

No, it's a "walked into a bar" joke.

pinemom · Post by **pinemom** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 8:17 am

The idea...was that in strange metabolic behavior changes the world has evolved from, is that Humans Are not the only species that can make a concience bad decesion.

I forgot monkeys. theyre on the list too.

But thinking that A God's original design, was for copulation to take place only to inpragnate.
Not for pleasure, for that same God really kinda put it in so many words or less that pleasure is a sin.

In that same note: that most species would mate for life, or the life of their mate.

pinemom · Post by **pinemom** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 8:19 am

sorry...I guess I got off topic...kinda...

erri2000 · Post by **erri2000** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 8:32 am

pinemom wrote:A God's original design, was for copulation to take place only to inpragnate.
Not for pleasure, for that same God really kinda put it in so many words or less that pleasure is a sin.

Tell my father that.

Box Burner · Post by **Box Burner** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 10:34 am

Ya mean Sex is not supposed to be fun?

oneeyeddick · Post by **oneeyeddick** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 11:21 am

OK,OK,OK. Just wait a minute here !!!
She that hath breakfast on her face is bearing false witness.
Homosexuallity exists at many levels in the animal kingdom.
Surely these vile creatures are the spawn of Satan, detracting
from the morals of the Bible and attacking the other animals under the pretence
that sticking thier perverted little penises in the other animals
hiney hole will lead to the other animal showing appreciation by somehow
magically reproducing.
Any animal that would lust for and attack another unsuspecting
creature of God is commiting an
act of rape, and the proof is, per se, in The Pudding.
How do you think mules are produced?

A donkey can be mounted by a horse BUT IT WOULD ONLY BE LOOKING FOR A STABLE RELATIONSHIP.....

erri2000 · Post by **erri2000** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 11:40 am

oneeyeddick wrote:Homosexuallity exists at many levels in the animal kingdom..

pinemom wrote:non-biblical trivia
did you know that Humans, Dogs, Ducks and Dolphins are the only species that RAPE..

Homosexuality?

What does that have to do with rape? Hmmmmmmmm?

pinemom · Post by **pinemom** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 11:40 am

Hey...put your bacon where your mouth is!

mayavin · Post by **mayavin** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 11:42 am

and if you're biblically inclined, why not toss in the gospel of 'Mary' and the seven types of wrath...

ignorance of your own organics would then be wrath,
and as such, nothing to be despised, but duly noted

*edited for the sake of sensie's spelling hangups*

Sensei · Post by **Sensei** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 11:46 am

I realize this is just me, but I'd be kind of hesitant to throw around great big words like 'ignorant' if I couldn't spell 'Mary'.

pinemom · Post by **pinemom** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 11:47 am

yes, I was just referring to "god's design" on the ol' penis

Not the "wonderful things that we do with them" in todays your going straight to hell...forum.

mayavin · Post by **mayavin** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 12:02 pm

you were declaring a design as god's of penis, woman though you be

and your craftiness at crafting straw men for the sake of easy arguing, is it natural, or learned?