The best goddamn bible ever

Paul Kemp · Post by **Paul Kemp** » Fri Mar 07, 2008 7:26 pm

So, I was at the Salvation Army thrift store a bit back - I walked in minutes before they closed, just to take a quick gander, mostly looking for a new book.

Lo and behold, my eyes fell up on Da Jesus Book, a Hawaii Pidgin New Testament.

It's not a joke; it's a fucking Wycliffe.

Here is The Lords Prayer:

[quote]God, you our Fadda, you stay inside da sky.
We like all da peopo know fo shua how you stay,
An dat you stay good an spesho,
An we like dem give you plenny respeck.
We like you come King fo everybody now.
We like everybody make jalike you like,
Ova hea inside da world,
Jalike da angel guys up inside da sky make jalike you like.
Give us da food we need fo today an every day.
Hemmo our shame, an let us go
Fo all da kine bad stuff we do to you,
Jalike us guys let da odda guys go awready,
And we no stay huhu wit dem
Fo all da kine bad stuff dey do to us.
No let us get chance fo do bad kine stuff,
But take us outa dea, so da Bad Guy no can hurt us.
Cuz you our King.
You get da real power,
An you stay awesome foeva.
Dass it![/quote]

So, yeah, no OT action, but Revelations (or Wat Jesus Show John) sure as hell is there.

[quote=Wat Jesus Show John 17:7]Wen I wen spock da wahine, wen blow my mind. Da angel messenja guy tell me, "Eh how come dat blow yoa mind? I goin tell you da secret bout da whine dat ride on to da Wild Animal dat get seven head an ten horn."[/quote]

I nearly walked out the door without paying for it, by accident, but I walked back in and said that I should probably go ahead and do that, if they'd like, and the lady took a look at it and gave it to me for free.

Anyone have any passages they'd like to have translate? Any favorites? I know we don't have too many Christians around these parts, but there must be a few bible readers in the crowd?

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Fri Mar 07, 2008 9:15 pm

I'd like to know more about who translated it and what the speakers of the pidgeon thought of it.

Paul Kemp · Post by **Paul Kemp** » Fri Mar 07, 2008 9:22 pm

[quote]From 1987, get 27 local peopo dat help fo make da Pidgin Bible. Dey da Pidgin Bible Translation Group. Dey all volunteer peopo dat stay talk Pidgin from small kid time. Dey give couple hour every week fo translate. Dey Christian peopo dat go diffren churches, but dey all working togedda. Dis picha, from da time some a dem get dea copy a Da Jesus Book, firs time.

[img]http://www.pidginbible.org/images/2-who_3.jpg[/img]
(Picha from Chuck Grimes, June 30, 2001)

Some a dem live odda place now, some a dem get job dat no let um get time fo translate, an Auntie Rachel Silva, she mahke awready 1994. March 2000, dey pau make Da Jesus Book. June 2001, get um back from da printa guys. Firs time, Wycliffe print 7,000 books, an da book store guys hea sell um all. Den dey print 10,000 books so peopo can give um to dea ohana Christmas time, den 10,000 moa, two time, den 5,000 moa, den 20,000 moa. Now, da book store guys wen sell mo den 41,000!

Seven translata guys stay working awready fo make Da Befo Jesus Book. Dey awready translate Da Befo Jesus Book firs time, but gotta polish an check um out plenny wit da Hebrew language an da commentary kine books, so try wait.

Da Pidgin Bible Translation Group work togedda wit da Wycliffe Bible Translators guys Joe an Barbara Grimes. Jalike dey da coach guys fo da team. Dey teach da local translata guys how fo do good job, an dey help um fo check out everyting an make shua stay OK.

Leon Siu an David Lancaster, dey da audio guys fo Da Jesus Story. Lou Ann Ka`aloa, she help make um too, an Malia Elliott set um up fo make plenny copy.

Da Wycliffe guys send odda helpa guys fo help make da translation mo betta. Marge Crofts wen come hea from Asia fo check out 19 part a Da Jesus Book wit da translata guys. She help plenny wit Da Befo Jesus Book too, wit da e-mail. Befo time, Jerry Allen wen come from Papua New Guinea fo check out Matthew Tell Bout Jesus, dass da firs part a Da Jesus Book. Steve Swartz from Australia wen tink fo come hea, but no can, so he send plenny e-mail message fo check out da odda 7 parts wit da translata guys.[/quote]

Rolan Headon · Post by **Rolan Headon** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 5:41 am

Wow, this poi dog wannabe wanna copy...if you ever track down a source of more copies...

We here in this barn will definitely read all translations you care to post. Thanks!

Captain Goddammit · Post by **Captain Goddammit** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 7:08 am

Oh hell ya, I'd buy a copy of that goddamm bible!

Paul Kemp · Post by **Paul Kemp** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 10:02 am

Jesus say, "God wen get so plenny love an aloha fo da peopo inside da world, dat he wen send me, his one an ony Boy, so dat everybody dat trus me no get cut off from God, but get da kine life dat stay to da max foeva." (John Tell Bout Jesus 3:16)

http://www.google.com/products?q=%22da+ ... &scoring=p

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 3:26 pm

Paul Kemp wrote:Jesus say, "God wen get so plenny love an aloha fo da peopo inside da world, dat he wen send me, his one an ony Boy, so dat everybody dat trus me no get cut off from God, but get da kine life dat stay to da max foeva." (John Tell Bout Jesus 3:16)

http://www.google.com/products?q=%22da+ ... &scoring=p

Sounds like the wit and wisdom of Israel KamakawiwoÊ»ole.

Paul Kemp · Post by **Paul Kemp** » Sat Mar 08, 2008 11:38 pm

Jesus tell his guys fo come by him, an he say, "Egh, I get pity fo dese peopo. Dey stay hea wit me three days awrad, and dey no mo notting fo eat. I no like send um away hungry cuz bumbye dey pass out on da way home."
But his guys say, "Eh, we say hea inside da boonies, you know. An get plenny peopo. Wea we goin find nuff food fo feed um?"
But Jesus say, "How much bread you guys get?"
Dey tell him, "Seven small bread, and get litto bit fish."
So Jesus tell da peopo fo sit down on top da groun.
An he take da seven bread an da fish, an tank God fo um. Den he broke um, an give um to his guys. Dey give um to all da peopo. Dey all wen eat an come full. An Jesus guys pick up da lefovas, seven big baskets full. Had bout four tousand guys dea who wen eat, plus had wahines and kids too.
Den he tell um, "Go home, now." An he climb inside one boat, an go Magadan side.
(Matthew Tell Bout Jesus 8:1-10)

Rolan Headon · Post by **Rolan Headon** » Sun Mar 09, 2008 7:47 pm

Ya know, the King James version, "New" testament--they all suck, this is the real deal.

Rolan Headon · Post by **Rolan Headon** » Wed Mar 19, 2008 1:31 am

Heya Paul,
Don't have a bible to request from, but what might be the Adam and Eve line be?

How does ('He without sin..." go?

Curious about the "big guy inna sky" and tales like Noah and the ark

LeChatNoir · Post by **LeChatNoir** » Thu Mar 20, 2008 7:29 pm

I find myself partial to this currently emerging translation:

http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Genesis_1

Bin Noddin · Post by **Bin Noddin** » Thu Mar 20, 2008 8:46 pm

Wow, cat, that is one Good Book!

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Fri Mar 21, 2008 9:20 am

Pikers. I got that beat.

Klingon Book of Mormon

As we finished watching yet another fun-filled episode of Star Trek, we found ourselves with little to do besides our mounds of work that we should have been doing. As we discussed Beth's bizarre ability to speak the Klingon language, it suddenly hit us: Why not translate the Book of Mormon into Klingon? It was just quirky enough to be interesting. So Beth whipped out her two volumes of the Klingon Dictionary and James pulled out his scriptures and we set to work. Some may not approve of this project, but the Seventy to whom we spoke seemed to think it was a fun idea. Maybe someday, this crazy project will lead some Trekkie to read the Book of Mormon in their native Klingon language, but for now it remains an interesting scholarly exercise. We invite Mormon Trekkies from around the world to assist us in our monumental endeavor by translating their own favorite chapters and submitting them to us at [email protected].

Post by **AntiM** » Fri Mar 21, 2008 9:39 am

Just quirky enough to be interesting? Nope, not the Book of Mormon. Not even in Klingon. Some people have too much time on their hands.

Paul Kemp · Post by **Paul Kemp** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 11:07 pm

[quote="Rolan Headon"]Heya Paul,
Don't have a bible to request from, but what might be the Adam and Eve line be?

How does ('He without sin..." go?

Curious about the "big guy inna sky" and tales like Noah and the ark[/quote]

Sadly, it's NT only.

I'll look up the passage in John for you when I get home though :)

Rolan Headon · Post by **Rolan Headon** » Thu Apr 03, 2008 5:50 am

Paul, thanks...the wife lived for years ona beach ina tent in the islands, she's much entertained by your posts

Teo del Fuego · Post by **Teo del Fuego** » Thu Apr 03, 2008 8:46 am

Rolan Headon wrote:Wow, this poi dog wannabe

Hmmm. that got me to pondering.....

The best goddamn bible ever

The best goddamn bible ever

Fishes and Loaves