Uncle Simon's Poem of the Day

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 6:04 am

monkey wrenchers meet evangelistas....

apocalypse, and rapture too
the end time signs are sayin'
they'll be an empty subaru
still driving, they're not stayin'
hurricanes, grade five or more
killer bees a' swarming
but if god has for us less snow in store
then i'm all for global warming.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Sun Jan 06, 2008 11:40 am

ice ice baby.

summer summer
sweaty nights
peel the sheets
turn off the lights
grab some ice
and drip it there
lick it off
or we can share
oh little cube
on nipple sits
melting pleasure
on your tits
slower faster
or just right
drip drip drip
all through the night.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:55 am

I Want Justice League of America Re-Runs

beeping and squeaking
and looking for spoons
i'm watching my
saturday morning cartoons
talking pinatas and
hannah montana
eating my fruit loops
with a banana
rolling around in my
pj's so wild
and generally behaving
just like a child.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 9:57 am

open eyes.

the quiet of stillness
the calm of serene
the silence of true bliss
the space in between
the murmur of breathing
the slow beating heart
the flicker of eyelashes
all do their part
the drug known as "peaceful"
the liquor called "smile"
intoxicant wistful
think i'll stay awhile.
and when eyelids open
the first thing they see
is the sweet graceful person
still there next to me....

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 10:04 am

divorce christmas.

this year was a hard one
each day was a task
all the while i've been crying
beneath my happy mask
and when people wonder
i say "i'm just fine"
then i go drown my sorrow
with drugs, and red wine
if it were'nt for a few
of my very good friends
i dont know what i'd do
i guess that all depends
for i feel like poor santa
whose lost his best elf
says "it's all for the kids"
so he won't kill himself.

Apollonaris Zeus · Post by **Apollonaris Zeus** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 2:33 pm

This is a poem and if you don't like it you can shove it up your butt.

I'm I great poem maker!

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Wed Jan 16, 2008 8:26 am

see without looking
catch fish without hooking
fly away without wings
be a caged bird that sings.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Wed Jan 16, 2008 8:34 am

blue moon midnight starry sky
soft and hazy stillness sets
lulling sweet the passer-by
lost in memory one forgets.
warm and tender is the night
it does not sparkle like the noon
but buffet gently wings in flight
and chrysalis from a cocoon.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Wed Jan 16, 2008 9:07 am

whoops...double post....damn stolen wi-fi is so tweaky...

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Wed Jan 16, 2008 9:08 am

summer.

t's the time when critters play
and when the winged warblers warble
and men with muscles on display
shout shouts at those they think adorable
when sprinklers sprinkle water drops
at kids who kid around the block
and ice cream screaming little trucks
that ply loose change around the clock
then barbie, ken, and skipper too
sit in the sun suntanning brown
they'll have a solstice bar-b-que
then spend the night all 'getting down'
they throw three sheets into the wind
and on the bed bedragelled bare
and in the pleasure pleasing sinned
and cooled their sweat while laying there
be you randy, or a dandy
or a juicy loosy lassie
it's hot and sweaty sweet like candy
its summertime, be saucy sassy.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Sat Jan 19, 2008 10:23 am

hot flashes.

we have a little tiger cat

named miss america

it really is quite feral

she's a natural predatah

but lately she has been in heat

and makes an awful noise

crying out all through the night

to all the feline boys

she rubs and rolls and slides around

her ass up in the air

she really is so shameless

even when you're standing there

so now we have this little slut

and i know it may sound sick

but i just want to shut her up

poor pussy needs a dick.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Sun Jan 20, 2008 11:11 am

I know why all the old jews live in Phoenix.

i have a pre-condition

it's getting worse with time

i buckle under, grit my teeth

and cry in pantomime

you see, my muscles spasm

they often work too hard

they're holding me together

they're the glue that binds my lard

but when the weather falters

and a low front comes to town

the pressure is unbearable

and it holds my body down

theres nothing i can do for it

i tremble thru the pain

and silently sit still for fear

that it might flare again

for my cartilage is failing

and i creak and groan like wood

an old tree bending in the wind

but not quite as it should

so drop me in the desert

to revive this piece of meat

you see, 120 farenheit

is such a Nice, Dry heat...

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Wed Jan 23, 2008 6:35 am

What is It?

neither here nor there
in the ether of life
its the who, what, where
it's the fork, spoon and knife
it's a small tiny atom
or just one molecule
its the order of random
or a pure golden rule
it's the clouds in the sky
as they float on above
its the answer to 'why'
its a simple word, love.....

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 5:21 am

the Exceptionally flamboyant Jerrett
used to bugger himself with a carrot
though he claimed to be herbal
he once killed a gerbil
but now he has got quite a Ferret.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 5:23 am

calling all butterflies

the crocus is blooming
the robin's returned
the sunshine is shining
so long have we yearned
for this type of feeling
this joy, and this spring
it sets the mind reeling
for what it might bring
so,ignore all the dog shit
that mixes with mud
just enjoy the pure nature
like General Ludd
and forget all the little things
you have to do
that tend to involve
a hammer and screw
go out in the weather
that changes alot
and quit smoking cigarettes
it's time to start pot
and lose that 10 pounds
you've been meaning to do
try exercise, eating less
and Amphetamines too
it's time to remake yourself
to break the cocoon
the moment of chysalis
comes with full moon
and as it approaches
we all come unstuck
and reach for the heavens
for someone to fuck.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Sun Mar 09, 2008 8:20 pm

bump.

i had a scary dream last night
they came for me at last
shouting orders with bright light
and showing me my past
telling me i couldnt change
"Dont bother kid, we know"
its stranger when its not so strange
when they say "its time to go"
i was told that i was guilty
not by them, but from inside
my soul, not clean but filthy
i had fallen far, from pride
i had disobeyed most all the rules
didnt do what i was told
didnt use the things i learned from schools
never wanted to get old
never needed help or had to ask
i always knew the plan
was always up for any task
like dumb-ass superman
and then i woke, and looked around
and didnt see a jail
my feet and hands, they were not bound
and everything's to scale
i shook it off, to start the day
but i felt i had to write
so come what will or come what may
if they come for real tonight.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Tue Mar 11, 2008 6:16 am

watch closely, the others
to see what they do
behavioral patterns
are'nt anything new
whether Skinner or
Murray or DelGado too
with the flick of a switch
they can change me or you
like the "Lord of the flies"
or "Lost" in Jonestown
and who needs hypnosis
when's there T.V. and sound
and how many are out there
who win just to lose
like a human time bomb
with a very short fuse
eating ritalin, prozac
and adderall too
sucked down with a soda-
pop orange green or blue
as they try to adapt us
to the future to come
where you eat or be eaten
and freedom's for some
and now i cant sleep
as i stare through the night
thinking over and over
"Ted Kaczynski was Right"

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Tue Mar 11, 2008 6:17 am

two for the price of one today....

logs and boulders may weigh my shoulders, but.......

those who bear false witness
and those who speak in lies
know not what they talk of
but they know that they despise
their hatred is unfounded
their fear is self-induced
their worries are just worrying
themselves to doubt, reduced.
but when they find a scapegoat
they'll call him lots of names
and toss out silly rumours
and play some shit head games
but here is my prediction
you can try all that you may
but i'll be standing, like a rock
at the final end of day
and i'll accept apologies
and "we were sorta wrong"
and smile a humble toothy grin
when we all get along
for there are plenty of people
to kick you when your down
and you can't be a prophet
when you're in your own hometown.

BitterDan · Post by **BitterDan** » Tue Mar 11, 2008 11:15 am

There once was a lady of Wight,
Who traveled much faster than light,
She departed one day,
In a relative way,
And arrived on the previous night...

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Tue Mar 11, 2008 12:34 pm

Last Year IS going to be Better.

BitterDan · Post by **BitterDan** » Tue Mar 11, 2008 2:46 pm

But not as good as the year before.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Sun Mar 16, 2008 12:40 pm

one moment it's cloudy
the next , full of sun
you're having the worst day
SHAZAAM! now it's fun...
Though nothing has changed
in the sky, or the day
but a thought in your mind
blew the cobwebs away.
the glass was half empty
but now it is full
pulling over your own eyes
that thing we call wool
but it's all how you see it
and it is what you feel
this separate reality's
actually real.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Sun Mar 16, 2008 12:47 pm

to Mumbling Mike, may there be a level pool table in Heaven....

goodnight, goodnight....
sleep well my friend
you've earned a good rest
from your daily bar tend
and you'll be here forever,
you'll always live on
in our hearts you are present
even though you are gone,
but i know you are watching
i know you see all
as each man takes his turn
lining up the eight ball,
in that moment of silence
before the shot made
a still sweet defiance
his game, was well played.

a gentle man
a smiling soul
a happy mind
with self control
why take the car
when you can bike?
thats why i want to be
like mike.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Fri Mar 21, 2008 12:14 am

if a soul is unanswered
a heart beats alone
then the body is cancered
and sick to the bone.
but if two can be one
and the one can be free,
there will be no line
that divides you from me.
metaphysical algebra
computations from god
humanistic equations
a measuring rod
but they all equal out
to just one simple place
the distance between us
is just face to face.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Wed Jul 01, 2009 1:41 pm

tea for two and two for tea.
me for you and you for me.

Monkeypoo · Post by **Monkeypoo** » Wed Jul 01, 2009 1:49 pm

friends may come
and friends may go
friends can peter out, you know
but we'll be friends
through thick and thin
peter out or peter in

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Wed Jul 01, 2009 1:55 pm

I'm discontented with homes that I've rented
So I have invented my own.
Darling, this place is lovely oasis
Where life's weary taste is unknown
Far from the crowded city
Where flowers pretty caress the stream
Cozy to hide in, to live side by side in,
Don't let it apart in my dream-

Picture you upon my knee
Just tea for two
And two for tea
Just me for you
And you for me alone NANETTE:
Nobody near us to see us or hear us Mm, mm, mm,
No friends or relations Mm, mm, mm,
On weekend vacations Mm, mm, mm.
We won't have it known, dear,
That we own a telephone, dear...

NANETTE:
Day will break and I'll wake
And start to bake a sugar cake
For you to take for all the boys to see

BOTH:
We'll raise a family

JIMMY:
A boy for you
And a girl for me

BOTH:
Can't you see how happy we would be...

Monkeypoo · Post by **Monkeypoo** » Wed Jul 01, 2009 2:11 pm

Damn, Simon...I'm impressed.

More! More!

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Sat Aug 01, 2009 6:20 am

this poem was written by James Whitcomb Riley, a master American Poet, copyright 1908.

taken verbatim.

"Uncle Sidney's Logic"

Pa wunst he scold' an' says to me,
"Don't play so much, but try
to Study more, and nen you'll be
a Great Man by an' by"
Nen Uncle Sidney says, "You let
Him be a boy an' play
The Greatest Man on Earth, i bet
'Ud trade with him to-day"

James Whitcomb Riley.

and now mine, dedicated to a friend, and a future virgin burner in 09'.

Ode to Mr. B.

i know a builder
and his name is Mark
has narry a guilder
and lives int the dark
his poor heart is broken
from giving too much
he just wants the love
of a soft woman's touch
all alone in his room
with his books and his tools
he's a much richer man
than the wealthiest fools
he's much wiser than many
who mock of his ways
he's a two-headed penny
for the luckiest days
and i would be lying
if i had to pretend
that this man, Mr. Bierworth
surely wasn't my friend.

Simon 2009

Roberto Dobbisano · Post by **Roberto Dobbisano** » Sun Aug 16, 2009 12:32 am

this is why i ride.
-------------------

i ride for the ones never heard
i ride for the ones never seen
i ride for the ones been reserved
i ride for the ones in between

i ride for the heart that's been broken
i ride for the one who's been lost
i ride for the word that's unspoken
i ride for the price at no cost

i ride for the lover who's missing
i ride for the day that is long
i ride for the teenagers kissing
i ride for the weak who are strong

i ride for the sun that is setting
i ride for the day that's anew
i ride for the giving not getting
i ride for the me that is you.

Uncle Simon's Poem of the Day

Uncle Simon's Poem of the Day

pulling the wool over your own eyes.